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“My Gutsy Story” by Cheryl Stahle

December 19, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Just Another Religious Festival

“OK”.  And with that one word, my 15 year marriage ended.  We had both given up so there were no fights or last hurrahs to save our union.  I wanted our son.  Done.  He wanted his pension.  OK.  We actually negotiated the division of property at Starbucks over lattes.  Dutch treat!

It doesn’t get any better than that for a friendly divorce.

However, I had spent the previous 15 years as an ice hockey mom and school teacher for at-risk teens.  For this 70s throwback of peace, love, rock and roll, violence didn’t fit with my belief system; however, circumstances dropped it into my lap daily both at home and at school.  Along the way I disappeared while serving the needs of everyone else.  I couldn’t even remember what I enjoyed doing and I didn’t know where to start in creating Cheryl Version 2.0, middle aged edition.

Slowly I experienced rebirth, dabbled in online dating (just don’t!), raised an amazing son and developed deep interests in yoga, reading and writing. My regular haunts included Starbucks, yoga studios and bookstores.  Not exactly the life of a thrill-seeker but joy appeared in subtle ways through the perfect backbend or a well written novel devoured over a latte and cookie.   I was restless though.  After so many years living in ice rinks and never taking a vacation I had to blow off some steam and this lovely life I had created did not include adventure.

Three weeks.  That became my gift of time and for once in my adult life, I had freedom.  Throw caution to the wind, this was a childless adventure.  My friends thought I’d head to the shore with a stack of books when I shared the news of a getaway.  Not this time.

The Festival of San Fermin!  That’s where I chose to go so I planned a vacation around that religious holiday.  Traveling to the major cities of Spain introduced me to centuries old neighborhoods, gothic cathedrals, and fabulous museums.  I soaked it all in while spending siesta time sitting in plazas drinking cava.  Three weeks.  Time for me.  And for kicks, I went alone and did not activate international cell phone service.   No one to tell me when to get up, what to eat for dinner, or how to spend the days.

I enjoyed 2 glorious weeks traveling throughout Spain with my camera in hand.  I wandered through street markets, toured museums and palaces and chose to view only masterpieces at the Prado.  I even crashed a wedding reception.  Why not?  No one really knew what I was doing but me.  I enjoyed freedom for the first time.

Did I mention that the Festival of San Fermin is more commonly called the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona?   I didn’t tell too many people from home either.  I certainly didn’t tell my mother what adventure awaited me.  My guess was that wouldn’t go over too well.

The bulls in Pamplona

A train ride later, I entered the tiny village of Pamplona.  The annual kickoff food fight had fortunately already ended by the time I settled into my hotel but the partying had just begun.  I began to realize that my standard glass of wine was not going to be the norm for the next few days.

Mardi Gras looked tame compared to Pamplona during the festival.  Dressed in obligatory whites with red sash and scarf, I elbowed my way through the crowds to enter the streets.  Once there, African conga drums played, strangers pulled me into their arms to dance in the street and mimes entertained all.  Music poured forth from stores and vendors filled the streets selling t-shirts and flags. The streets provided sensory overload but once I got into a rhythm, the crowds became invisible.   Callemucho .  The drink of San Fermin poured freely usually by flask or 2 gallon jug.

Cheryl Stahl in Pamplona

After a night of partying and no sleep, the actual festival began.  Fueled with over a decade of pent up energy, I  chanted “let ‘em loose”  in my mind.  Catch me if you can.  But I’m not quite as foolhardy as it appears.

First, most of the people running had imbibed for at least 24 hours.  I chose to toss back just one flask of Callemucho (cheap wine and soda).  Juts for courage I thought but my balance remained rock solid.  Next, a plan.  I wasn’t about to run on a cobblestone street the width of a standard American alley full of drunks without knowing the lay of the land.  I watched the first day, safely ensconced on a balcony two stories above bull level.

Day 2 however I joined the crowd in the street.  My earlier reconnaissance showed that the end of the run was safer as there were fewer people (still packed shoulder to shoulder), a bit more space on the street and a fence to leap over should the need arise.  So that’s where I planned the start of my run.

I heard the shot indicating that the bulls had left their pens, waited my 17 seconds for them to arrive, and then hit the street.  There they were, 10 agitated, magnificent 2000 pound beasts and me soaking wet at 115 pounds.  This sister ran fast, smelled their musky odor as they swept by and breathed a sigh of relief as I choked on their dust when they roared past.  My 2 seconds of glory.  Not trampled, not hurt and only a slight glow of perspiration on my brow.   I ran with the bulls.  Feel my power now people!

This single mom can do anything these days.   When life gets tough or when I’m feeling a bit beaten up, I don my red sash from Pamplona, look at the photos I took of the bulls on my desk and smile.  I found my inner courage again.  I’m getting to know myself too.  Life’s not so bad as Version 2.0.

 

Cheryl Stahle, memoirist, author and founder ofYour Best Writing Group (www.yourbestwritinggroup.com) lives in Doylestown, PA with her son.  Cheryl consults with aspiring authors to guide them in telling their life stories.  She has a special interest in working with adoptive families as an adoptive parent herself.

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Thank you Cheryl for giving women the courage to do something so unique and spectacular for themselves. I am a firm believer that when you get out of your comfort zone, you get that special feeling that you can accomplish anything in your life and you are a perfect example of this.

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Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

*****

Jill Fales, winner of our first “My Gutsy Story” contest, picked the following prize:

  • Spectrum Specialties and Awards just joined on 11/2/11 with a wonderful prize: 1000 14pt business cards with UV coating, full color process, & double sided print. I am so thrilled as I know they do quality work.

Rhonda Hayes, came in second. Since she was the first to submit her story and since this was the first contest, she also won a prize and selected a chapter critique from Angela Ackerman..

  • Angela Ackerman offered two choices: a first chapter critique or a blog consultation offering her expertise on your blog layout, content, etc and offer advice on tweaking it to improve, draw in visitors, increase visibility, etc. Winner can choose which would benefit them more. Angela and Becca have put together the most helpful blog for writers called The Bookshelf Muse.Check out their emotional thesaurus, weather thesaurus and so much more to help writers.

    Angela Ackerman

 

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Voting for your favorite December “My Gutsy Story” starts on January 1st-January 11th. The December winner will be announced on Thursday January 12th.

Please leave your comments for Cheryl below.

Winner of the first “My Gutsy Story” contest is…

December 15, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

My Gutsy Story 1st place

Jill Fales (1st Place)

Congratulations to Jill Fales who received the most votes with her “My  Gutsy Story” about taking her kids on the Great American field trip, an educational road trip across the U.S.  Jill writes a weekly column in the Newport Beach Independent called Mom’s Voice and with her large fan base, Jill received 74 votes in total, which amounted to 40% of the total.

Rhonda Hayes (2nd Place)

Congratulations to Rhonda Hayes. Rhonda’s “My Gutsy Story” was the first one submitted for the contest, and Rhonda’s story was so moving and inspiring to all of us. She received 59 votes. or 32% of the total. Rhonda is writing a memoir, so for all you readers interested in memoirs, please check out her website.

Karen van der Zee (3rd Place)

Congratulations to Karen van der Zee for her humorous “My Gutsy Story” about her wedding in Kenya. Karen has published numerous romance novels and is now focusing on her travel stories from around the world. She writes a blog called, “Life in the Expat Lane” which is packed with vignettes from her life all over the place, and now lives in Moldova. Don’t know where Moldova is? Find out on her blog.

Nikki Ah Wong (Honorable mention) came in 4th, and has an inspiring “My Gutsy Story” about adventure in mid-life. Check out her new book, “Housesitting in Australia.” I just downloaded it and find it fascinating that housesitting can be an alternative to renting, if planned correctly.

Lauri Kubuitsile (Honorable mention) came in 5th. Lauri wrote an amazing “My Gutsy Story” of courage and how she ended up taking charge of her own life at sixteen. Lauri is an award winning author from Botswana. You can find out more about her on her blog: Thoughts from Botswana.

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Thank you to these 5 amazing “My Gutsy Story” writers.

This month, since the holidays are coming up, I have decided that there are TWO WINNERS:

1). Jill Fales

2). Rhonda Hayes

Jill gets to pick the prize from our sponsors first, and I shall let you know what she selected on Monday, December 19th’s post.

Rhonda gets to select her prize after Jill, and I shall let you know too, on Monday December 19th.

Please continue submitting your “My Gutsy Story” for December.

We keep adding new sponsors all the time:

1). Angela Ackerman has kindly offered two choices: a first chapter critique or a blog consultation (offer my expertise of the blog layout, content, etc and offer advice on tweaking it to improve, draw in visitors, increase visibility, etc). Winner can choose which would benefit them more. Angela and Becca have put together the most helpful blog for writers called The Bookshelf Muse. Check out their emotional thesaurus, weather thesaurus and so much more to help writers.

2). Peet’s Ccffee and Tea, gift card and basket. I am a huge fan of Peet’s coffee, as some of you may know from my previous posts. If you are a writer, you probably drink coffee or tea and all my local Peet’s, see me every day. Details of their prize will come later.

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If you wish to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” please check out guidelines here.

Our sponsors are listed here.

Also our December 2011 contest started with Muriel Demarcus story on Monday December 5th. You can read her wonderful, “My Gutsy Story.”

Richard Potter wrote our second December story on December 12th. You can read his inspiring “My Gutsy Story.”

The December votes start on January 1st until January 11th, with results for December contest winner announced on January 12th, 2012.

“My Gutsy Story” by Richard Potter

December 12, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

A few years ago I volunteered to serve at a faith-based arts camp for Polish youth. Rafal, the camp director, met me at the Warsaw airport. As we drove to the camp, I asked what he had lined up for me to do for the week.

“We have six or eight campers who want to learn guitar,” he said. “So I thought you could lead an acoustic guitar workshop.”

Gitara akustyczna warsztat. WTF? I’ve played guitar for 35 years, but I’m no teacher. I can’t even remember how I learned! Did I really sign up for this? What was I thinking?

The next morning I walked through the campground to the gazebo where the workshop would shortly begin. Large rocks poked through a thin layer of soil, on which a carpet of pine needles had been laid by the branches waving overhead. The rising sun promised to chase away the slight chill in the air. Near the gazebo a sculpted lion’s head emerged from the ground, mouth wide open in a silent roar of triumph over the grave. It reminded me of Aslan, the lion-Christ-figure from CS Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia; I took comfort in the image and stepped timidly into the role of teacher. They don’t really need me here, I thought. But maybe I need to be here. Maybe this is what it means to “live by faith.”

The next morning Rafal encouraged all camp volunteers to tell our stories to our students. What role did faith play in the journey? My story does not make me proud. I grew up in a nice family that attended church every week. Dad taught Sunday school and volunteered with my Scout troop. Mom was the church organist and taught piano. I took piano for a few years, then played cello in the school orchestra.

At 14 I traded cello for guitar. Next I traded church and Scouts for rock and roll. I picked up smoking, then drinking, then marijuana, then cocaine. Like Pinocchio, I was living it up on Pleasure Island — and turning into a total ass.

One night an LSD trip went bad. I asked a friend to drive me home. He stroked the puppy in his lap as he drove. Suddenly my friend morphed into the Devil, and I became the puppy. Terrified, I opened the door to escape; but it was too late. Demons held me down.

In reality, I had jumped out of the car. My friend somehow delivered me to a hospital where I resisted restraint. My parents arrived as the LSD was wearing off. When they led Mom to my bedside, I couldn’t understand what she was doing in hell. My mom would never be in hell, I thought. But here she was, holding my hand. Had I been given a second chance?

The fractured leg and shattered shoulder blade would heal much sooner than my broken spirit. A Lutheran counselor said that my story reminded him of the prodigal son in the Bible. For the first time I considered the possibility that a Bible story had been written with me in mind. It was the first of many steps on the road to recovery.

The students were quiet as I finished my story. We turned our attention to guitars. At the end of the session, Natalia and Karolina asked if I would help them after lunch. Natalia was fascinated with classic rock and roll: the Doors, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd. I wondered, how can I teach songs like that to beginners?

Back at my cabin, I found the Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues” on my mp3 player. The girls were waiting when I returned to the gazebo. I showed Natalia where to place her fingers; Karolina followed suit. When they began to get the hang of it, I asked if they’d like to try Deep Purple’s “Smoke On The Water.” Oh, YES! They spent an hour practicing the songs.

“Omigosh!” Natalia squealed suddenly, bouncing up and down on the wooden bench. “I play Doors! I play Deep Purple!”

Yes, I nodded to myself. I know the feeling very well.

The arts camp ended with an outdoor celebration. By the light of a bonfire I said good-bye to new friends, taking pictures, collecting email addresses, and making false promises to stay in touch. There was a tap on my shoulder.

“Someone would like to say something to you,” said Rafal. Natalia peaked out from behind.

“Thank you so much for teaching me songs I love, and for sharing your story,” she began. “I have a friend in Warsaw…” She paused and turned to Rafal. “This is so hard!” Tears welled as she continued. “My friend smokes marijuana. Every time I visit she asks me if I want to try. She gives me pressure. I had decided that next time I am with her, I will try it. Then you told your story. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Now I have decided not to try the marijuana. I promise you I will not do drugs.”

“Be strong,” I said. “Keep God in your heart.” We hugged, and off she went to join her friends, long brown hair bouncing in rhythm with her flowered peasant skirt.

“You see Richard,” said Rafal, “even in your fifties you can make a difference.”

“Thanks, Rafal,” I said with a grin. “I’m 46.”

Richard Potter with Rafal

As a musician I play by ear, and this often comes in handy, like when I taught Natalia and Karolina the Doors and Deep Purple. In life I catch myself playing by fear. I’m afraid to take risks, afraid that people will run away if I let them discover the real me. I pray for the fears to go away, but that prayer goes unanswered. In Poland I learned that courage is not the absence of fear; it is the presence of faith. When I live by that truth, the outcomes are absolutely amazing.

 *****

Richard M. Potter is a freelance writer, musician, and consultant to nonprofit organizations. His writing has appeared in Leader To Leader, Children’s Voice, Advancing Philanthropy, and other publications. As a grantwriter he has secured millions of dollars to support various charitable causes, including a $5 million grant from the WK Kellogg Foundation to fund internship stipends for future nonprofit professionals. Richard blogs on purpose at www.richardmpotter.com. He and his wife of 22 years are the parents of two wonderful teenaged children. They reside in Kansas City, Missouri.

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Thank you Richard for submitting this positive and inspiring story about how in helping others, you also overcame your own fears. This is the first  “My Gutsy Story” written by a man, and  I hope this will be the start to many more. I hope you visit Richard Potter’s website and learn more about him and his writing. If you love memoirs, I know you’ll enjoy Shirley Sholwater, and her amazing blog 100 memoirs. Without her, I may not have discovered Richard, and he may not have submitted his “My Gutsy Story.”

 

(Please leave your comments below for Richard to answer. He will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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You have until Wednesday December 13th at 11:59p.m. to VOTE for your Favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

Winner of November Contest will be announced on December 14th. We shall let you know what prize was selected and ask for a photo. Hope you come back to see.

*****

 

HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Why I self-published by Ali Luke

December 8, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

This is a Guest post by Ali Luke from Aliventures.

Imagine my surprise when Ali Luke, a writing coach who has been featured on some of the biggest online blogs like Copyblogger and ProBlogger, and who recently spoke at Blogworld, the world’s largest social media conference, decided to send me her “My Gutsy Story.” Since Ali is a writing coach, I thought it would be helpful for writers looking to publish their work to see how Ali Luke took the plunge to indie-publish her first novel and why.

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My Gutsy Story: Publishing My First Novel

In November 2011, I released my first novel, Lycopolis.

It took a lot of time.

I spent a year drafting. And another year re-drafting. And then I edited – again and again. Along the way, I cut out tens of thousands of words.

It took a lot of money.

I wrote the bulk of the novel while studying for a part-time Masters in Creative Writing (not cheap)! I paid a wonderful professional editor to go through the whole Draft 5 manuscript. I took day courses, went to conferences, bought writing books.

Most of all, it took a lot of courage.

I put more of myself into Lycopolis than I’ve ever put into any piece of writing. I shared my work with tutors and fellow students. I wrote and rewrote and polished and gave it my very best.

Why I Self-Published

For a long time, I’d clung to an old writing dream. If you’re a writer too, it might be one that you share. I wanted to get an agent, sign a book deal, and write novels for a living – all day, every day.

The problem is, that dream started to look more and more unrealistic.

Publishing is undergoing the biggest upheaval since Gutenberg. With ebooks – and Amazon’s dominance over traditional book stores – things have been changing fast.

More and more authors are deciding to go it alone. There are plenty of good reasons why:

  • You’ve got full control over the finished product. I’ve seen some shocking badly formatted ebooks from big publishers who should know better – and I didn’t want to risk that happening to mine.
  • You get to keep considerably more of the money. Most published authors don’t make a living through writing. At 10 – 15 % per book, they’re not the ones getting rich from their hard work.
  • You can publish something that’s from your heart, not what’s expected to sell. If you’re writing in an unpopular genre (or across genres) then self-publishing means you can produce the book you want, not what publishers can easily pigeon-hole.

I’m no stranger to putting my writing out there. I’ve been blogging for several years – you can find my work on dozens of different websites. But publishing a novel took a lot of guts.

I thought my established readership might not like it. My blogging is pretty upbeat; Lycopolis is quite dark. (Lots of people have said they enjoyed it, and that it was still “me”!)

I worried what friends and family would think. (The ones who’ve read it so far have been enthusiastic.)

I was afraid that the reviews wouldn’t be good: that my novel would be too thoughtful for genre fans and too fast-paced for literary fiction aficionados. (I’ve had great reviews from genre readers and literary readers.)

All of my fears were ungrounded. But I could so easily have let them stop me.

If you’ve been working on a project close to your heart, don’t be afraid to let the world see. I know it takes courage. But if you don’t go forwards, you’ll never know who you might touch, who’s life you might impact.

 

Ali Luke is the author of Lycopolis, a supernatural-thriller/contemporary-fantasy with a good dose of geekery thrown in. You can find out all about it at www.lycopolis.co.uk (and download the first five chapters as a free sample).

*****

Ali Luke is a writer and writing coach, with degrees in English Literature and Creative Writing. Her work can be found on a number of large websites, including Copyblogger, ProBlogger, Men with Pens and Write to Done. She’s spoken at BlogWorld and OxonDigital, and works with individuals and groups of writers. You can get several of her short ebooks for free (including the popular How to Find Time for Your Writing) when you join her newsletter. Her novel, Lycopolis, is available on Amazon.

*****

 Please leave your questions and comments for Ali below. Also I noticed Ali is offering a special price on all 3 of her Blogger’s Guides until December 12th. You may want to check them out on her Aliventures website.

“My Gutsy Story” by Muriel Demarcus

December 5, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

My Gutsy Story
By background, I am an Engineer. I used to be able drive trains and my specialty was Signalling (you know, the stuff that always fails on the railways). I have walked down the tracks while new trains were being tested (scary) and opened new metro lines in Paris. I have also investigated train accidents and tried to re-calculate speed profiles using complicated modeling tools to understand what had gone wrong. I am French-born, and it is fair to say that until recently I was a pure French product: I had been to the right schools and universities, and was pretty much brought up to climb the corporate ladder. Oh, and I could barely speak English -let alone write it, because German was my first foreign language (don’t ask, it is a French thing).
But, in 2004, I had to go out of my comfort zone: to cut a long story short, my husband was offered a job in London. Basically, I had two options: change husband, or change job. I chose the latter, which meant that I had to drop my much-loved job (an important part of my identity!) and find something else, in London this time. My industry works a lot by word of mouth and I eventually managed to find something else, less interesting of course, but somehow I felt that I couldn’t be too picky, given that my English was so basic…
Soon enough, I felt that I was wasting my time and my talents. I felt trapped. As a woman with a French accent, I wasn’t being taken seriously at all. I have lost count of the “Do I know you from somewhere?” comments. My notes were constantly edited to make them “Oxbridge-compliant” (I am used to working in bullet points, but it wasn’t doing the trick over here!). So, after a while, I decided to start my own business in parallel. It was about the development and management of commercial properties, mainly to maintain and store boats –I just saw an opportunity and grabbed it when I bought some cheap land close to the coast.
Eventually, my business started to make more money than my day job. It was time to change my priorities. My boring but comfortable job was holding me back. I didn’t like it any more. Still, finding the strength to resign was more difficult than I thought: most people wait patiently for a nice redundancy package, but that was not my mindset, and I knew that the extra-time spend on my business would bring me new clients anyway. After months of procrastination, I finally resigned and left. Most of my colleagues didn’t understand why I didn’t wait to get some more money.
What I love about my business is that it gives me the time and flexibility to take care of my family and explore other side of my personality, such as writing.
I started my blog (www.FrenchYummyMummy.com) as a new year’s resolution. It became addictive. After a few weeks I had more than 4,000 hits a month. I couldn’t believe that my thoughts and worries could be of any interest. I was clearly wrong.
It felt good.
I am now writing as much as I can, with a view -who knows?- to publish a book one day. It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British. But more importantly, I feel more like myself. I am finally designing my life around what matters to me. I know it is better late than never. But, after years of always doing what was expected from me, I am slowly starting to become what I want to be. Oh, and I am learning to drive boats now!
*****

Muriel Demarcus is a self-proclaimed French Yummy Mummy living in London. She started working in Paris in the Railways industry and never imagined that she would have to move abroad.
At 32 years, she discovered that life outside of France was possible and even enjoyable when all the family had to move to London due to her husband’s new job. It was 7 years ago and since then she doesn’t feel French any more and isn’t British yet.

Muriel and her two lovely daughters

Her two daughters have now started to correct her bad English accent, which she hates. In 2011, she decided to start a blog and hasn’t looked back since. She can be found at www.FrenchYummyMummy.com or @FrenchYumMummy on Twitter.

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Our First Story for the December “My Gutsy Story” Contest

Thank you Muriel. What a great story about getting out of your comfort zone and adapting to a new life in the U.K. Not only that, but you started your own company, taught yourself English, and started your successful blog French Yummy Mummy. I love reading books about Americans, Australians and British women who moved to France. One I enjoyed in particular is called, “What French Women Know,” by Debra Ollivier. So now finally, Muriel Demarcus will write a book about the reverse: A French woman living in the U.K.  It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British.

(Please leave your comments below for Muriel to answer. She will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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VOTE for your Favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

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HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO)
Submission guidelines here.

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