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Do You Really Want to Live to 120? The Truth About Healthspan vs. Lifespan

June 4, 2026 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

Sonia Marsh is questioning whether she wants to live to 120
Sonia is pondering the point of longevity.

Everywhere I turn these days, someone—usually a billionaire with more money than they know what to do with—is talking about living to 120 or beyond. People like Bryan Johnson, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg are investing billions into the quest to slow aging and extend human life.

Longevity has become one of the hottest topics in the world. Maybe it’s because AI knows everything I research, listen to, or talk about, so my news feeds and podcasts are now filled with experts promising ways to extend my life. Every day, there’s a new supplement, a new biohacking trick, or a new scientific breakthrough claiming it could help us live longer.

But here’s the question I keep asking myself:

Do I really want to live to 120?

The answer isn’t as simple as yes or no.

Living Longer Isn’t the Goal

What interests me far more than lifespan is healthspan.

Healthspan refers to the number of years we remain healthy, active, independent, and able to do the things we love. To me, that’s what really matters.

I don’t want to spend the last twenty years of my life sitting in a chair, dependent on medications, and unable to travel, swim, snorkel, or enjoy adventures.

I want to remain strong enough to carry my own luggage, curious enough to keep exploring the world, and healthy enough to enjoy every stage of life—including becoming a grandmother.

The Medication Trap

One reason I pay attention to healthspan is that I see what happens when health issues begin to pile up.

Many people I know are taking eight, ten, or even more medications every day.

I often listen to these doctors’ podcasts discussing how modern medicine works. Physicians are trained to follow protocols. If you have a particular condition, there is usually a medication for it. The problem is that medications often come with side effects. Then another medication is prescribed to treat those side effects. Before long, a person can find themselves taking a handful of pills every day.

Of course, medications can be lifesaving and necessary in many situations. But my personal goal is to avoid that path as much as possible through prevention.

So how do we increase our chances of staying healthy as we age?

Exercise: Use It or Lose It

Exercise is one of the most powerful tools we have for extending healthspan.

There are two components I focus on:

Cardio

Cardiovascular exercise keeps the heart and lungs healthy and supports endurance as we age.

For me, that means swimming, one of my favorite forms of exercise.

Strength Training

After age 50, adults typically begin losing muscle mass every year. This loss accelerates as we get older.

Why does this happen?

Our muscle fibers naturally shrink with age, and hormone levels such as testosterone and estrogen decline. The result is less strength, poorer balance, and an increased risk of falls.

That’s why lifting weights has become non-negotiable for me.

Muscle isn’t just about looking fit. It’s about maintaining independence.

Sleep: The New Superpower

Sleep has become another hot topic in the health world—and for good reason.

Most experts recommend seven to eight hours of sleep per night.

Sleep supports:

  • Cognitive processing
  • Physical repair
  • Emotional regulation
  • Immune function
  • Memory consolidation

I’ve also noticed that my sleep improves when I avoid television, scrolling on my phone, or consuming too much information right before bed. One habit I’ve adopted is finishing dinner at least three hours before bed.

The older I get, the more I realize that quality sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Nutrition: You Can’t Outrun a Bad Diet

Nutrition may be one of the biggest factors influencing healthspan.

If there is one thing I consistently hear from longevity experts, it’s this:

Reduce sugar.

Excess sugar contributes to inflammation throughout the body. Chronic inflammation has been linked to many of the diseases people fear most as they age.

Ultra-processed foods, sugary drinks, and highly refined carbohydrates may be convenient, but they often come at a cost.

I try to focus on real food, protein, vegetables, healthy fats, and minimizing added sugars whenever possible.

Am I perfect? Absolutely not.

But I believe small, consistent choices made over decades matter more than occasional bursts of perfection.

Meet the Man Behind the “Don’t Die” Movement

Have you come across Bryan Johnson and his documentary Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever? He has turned himself into a human experiment in the quest to slow aging and extend life.

His daily routine includes strict meal timing (nothing after 11 a.m.), extensive medical testing, dozens of supplements (Which he also sells), intense exercise, early bedtimes (8:30 p.m.), and constant monitoring of his body’s biomarkers. Reports have estimated that he spends around $2 million a year on his anti-aging protocols.

Watching Bryan Johnson’s video on his daily routine made me wonder: Is this really the future we want? Or are we becoming so focused on avoiding death that we forget to enjoy living?

So, Do I Want to Live to 120?

Not really.

Part of me wonders whether we’ve become so obsessed with living longer that we’ve forgotten to ask what those extra years will actually look like.

If I make it to 120, do you know how much exercise I’d need to keep moving? How many laps would I need to swim? How much weight lifting would I have to squeeze into my week? And let’s not even talk about the plastic surgery industry. If people start living to 120, are we all supposed to spend decades trying not to look like old prunes?

Will 120 be the new 60?

Maybe.

But I suspect the real question isn’t how long we can live. It’s whether we can remain healthy, independent, curious, and excited about life while we’re here.

I’d rather be an active, adventurous 90-year-old than a miserable 120-year-old counting pills and doctor’s appointments.

But only if I can remain healthy, active, independent, and engaged with life.

I don’t dream about simply adding years to my life.

I dream about adding life to my years.

If I can still be swimming, traveling, learning, writing, and embracing new adventures at 90, then I’ll happily keep going.

For me, that’s what Gutsy Living is all about—not living forever, but living fully.

What are your thoughts? Please comment below.

 

I’ve Forgotten How to Drive — My Tesla’s Drives Better Than Me

May 24, 2026 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

"Sonia Marsh driving her Tesla with Full Self-Driving on, smiling and embracing a gutsy, independent lifestyle."
“Trusting the ride and myself. This is living gutsy.”

Why I Let a Tesla Become My Private Chauffeur

I have a private chauffeur now, and honestly, he drives better than I do.

His name is FSD.

Yes, my Tesla’s Full Self-Driving system has officially taken over my life.

My son convinced me to try it, and I admit: I’m hooked.

At first, it wasn’t easy handing complete control over to a car. The idea felt terrifying. I kept hovering over the steering wheel, ready to grab it at any second. But after a few months of using Tesla FSD, I trust it more than I trust myself.

Especially at night.

My Tesla “sees” better than I do in the dark. It sticks to the rules better than most humans, too.

I mean, who actually makes a complete stop at a stop sign anymore? Three full seconds can feel like an eternity.

My Tesla, however, behaves like a polite British butler.

“No, you go first…”

It stops and gives way to cars even when it technically doesn’t have to.

The Strange Joy of Watching My Car Think

One of the things I love most about Tesla Full Self-Driving is the giant screen showing everything around me in real time.

A bicyclist appears with a cute little bicycle icon. Pedestrians show up as tiny moving avatars. Cars glide across the screen like a video game.

And even when FSD isn’t activated, the car politely dings when the traffic light turns green — just in case you’re busy searching for a YouTube podcast at the light.

How civilized is that?

Why I Hate Driving (And Why FSD Changed Everything)

The reason I listened to my son when he said, “Mom, you’ll love FSD,” is that I’ve never liked driving.

I grew up living in France and England, where public transportation was normal. I spent my younger years taking trains, buses, and the Tube instead of sitting behind a steering wheel for hours.

Driving long distances has always exhausted me.

Unlike many Americans who grew up with a car at sixteen, I never loved road trips if I had to do the driving myself.

That’s why Tesla’s Full Self-Driving appealed to me so much.

My son lives in Santa Barbara, 147 miles (236 km) from me through the nightmare traffic of Los Angeles. Depending on traffic, it has taken me up to four hours to reach his house.

One week after leasing my Tesla with FSD, I let the car drive me all the way through Los Angeles to Santa Barbara without touching the steering wheel or brake once.

Not once.

It took courage at first, but I did it. And now? I can’t imagine going back.

The Moment I Realized I No Longer Know How to Drive

The other morning, before sunrise, I decided to override the car and take a different route to my gym.

I clicked the button to disengage FSD and took control of the Tesla myself.

I moved into the right lane to turn. Suddenly, the driver behind me slammed on his brakes and honked furiously.

I had completely cut him off. The shocking part? I honestly hadn’t seen him.

That was the moment I realized: Sonia, you no longer know how to drive. Let your private chauffeur handle it.

Will Self-Driving Cars Help Older Drivers Stay Independent?

So what’s the real reason I have Tesla FSD? Because I believe this technology is the future.

And if I’m lucky enough to still be alive at 85 or 90, perhaps with weaker eyesight and slower reflexes, maybe Full Self-Driving technology will help people like me remain independent longer.

Maybe it could prevent elderly drivers from losing their freedom the moment someone takes away their car keys. That thought matters to me.

I know self-driving technology scares some people, but honestly? Some drivers scare me more.

  • FSD stays in the lane.
  • It doesn’t text.
  • It doesn’t have road rage.
  • It doesn’t get distracted.

And these days, that already puts it ahead of many drivers on the road.

Are Self-Driving Cars the Future?

So now I’m curious. Have I convinced you that getting used to self-driving technology might actually be a smart idea? Would you trust a car to drive you through Los Angeles traffic? Or am I completely crazy for handing over control to my Tesla chauffeur?

Let me know in the comments below.

 

Why I Quit Dating Apps at 68—And My 35-Year-Old Son Has the Same Problem

April 30, 2026 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

I quit dating apps—and oddly enough, my 35-year-old son and I are in the exact same boat. He has women lining up, I’m attracting men 10–17 years older who need a caregiver, and yet… neither of us is finding what we actually want. So what’s going on here?

Why I’ve Stepped Away from Dating Apps

I have quit dating apps for a while for two reasons: one, no luck, and two, people keep telling me that you meet someone when you least expect it.

The Surprising Truth: My Son and I Have the Same Dating Problems

What I find so interesting about online dating is that my 35-year-old son is having the same issues as me.

We’ve actually become quite close as mother and son, sharing dating stories. The main difference? He has no problem getting dates, while I’m only getting a few dates with older men who have health issues.

The Dating Imbalance: Age, Attraction, and Expectations

My son is a doctor who makes a good living and is 6’4” tall, so women flock to him. Listening to dating podcasts, he fits into that tiny fraction of men who are young, tall, and financially successful.

I, on the other hand, fall into the category of mature women who can only seem to find men 10–20 years older than me—men who often need a woman to take care of them.

This feels unfair, especially since I’m thin, active, intelligent, and fully capable of taking care of myself.

The Real Issue: Avoidant Attachment Style

So what’s the problem for both my son and me? Are we both too picky? Isn’t chemistry important?

During our phone conversations, we’ve realized that we are both “avoidants.” This comes from attachment theory (I’ve included a quick YouTube link if you want to explore it further).

Basically, we are not the clingy type. We’re independent and tend to have our guard up—at least I know I do. We don’t easily show physical affection unless there’s real chemistry.

In other words, we’re picky. And maybe a bit naïve in believing there’s someone out there who meets at least 95% of our criteria. Listening to podcasts on relationships and dating, I’ve come to the conclusion that we look at photos of men, (in my case) and women, (in my son’s case) as products. It’s become online shopping for a partner, just like shopping on Amazon, but without the reviews.

Chemistry vs. Companionship

Intellectually, I understand that perfection doesn’t exist—and I’m certainly not perfect either.

But at this stage of my life, I’m not willing to be with a man I’m not attracted to despite what relationship coaches tell us. “You can grow to fall in love with someone’s personality.” Well, I’m sorry, I need to be attracted to the man physically as well.

I work hard to stay fit, healthy and to keep learning. I travel, build friendships, host gatherings, and genuinely love who I am.

I’m tired of hearing, “You can develop chemistry with someone who’s kind or has a sense of humor.” I call that a friend.

And in my online dating experience, I’ve yet to meet a man—even at 80—who wants to be “just friends.” You know what I mean.

I also have no interest in becoming someone’s caregiver at the beginning of a relationship. It’s different if you’ve been married to this person all your life.

Should I Date Younger Men?

Friends tell me I should date a younger man.

And I would—if I knew he genuinely liked me for who I am. Maybe it’s my avoidant attachment style that makes me feel there is always an ulterior motive on their part. A lack of trust on my part.

What I’m Doing Instead: Real-Life Connections

So these days, I’m focusing on real-life interactions.

I’m joining discussion groups and attending art museum events in Laguna Beach. I love meeting intelligent people—men and women—who have traveled, who are curious, and who refuse to become stale in their thinking.

What I’m Hoping For

What I would truly love is a natural introduction—to meet a single man through someone I trust.

Someone who shares my love of travel, snorkeling, swimming, and staying active. Someone who wants a companion, an equal—not a caretaker.

If you can introduce me to that man, please email me at sonia@soniamarsh.com!

And As for My Son…

As for my son, I’m sure he’ll have no trouble finding someone he can love and marry…

As long as he’s not holding out for 100% perfection.

Solo Cruising Doesn’t Mean You’re Alone

April 4, 2026 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

Solo Cruising doesn’t mean you’re alone.

Evening with the Captain of Le Champlain, a Smithsonian Cruise on Ponant.

Small ships are better for Solo Travelers.

Gala Evening on Le Champlain. PONANT cruise.

Many women worry about solo cruising and about feeling lonely. I’m sharing my experience to help you feel safe and confident about finding companionship and meaningful connections while cruising solo.

My Solo Cruising Experience

I started cruising four years ago. Only once did I feel slightly uncomfortable and self-conscious — on a Crystal cruise when I had to dine alone in three specialty restaurants.

From an uncomfortable dining night to better choices

Reservations had to be made several months in advance, and when I asked the maitre d’ if I could join a sharing table (as I had on other cruises), he replied, “We don’t have sharing tables.” He seated me at a table for two in the most conspicuous part of the dining room, surrounded by couples. That was when I felt lonely.

After that experience, I chose not to cruise with that line again. I now prefer smaller ships with a more intimate feel where the staff get to know you, look after you, and create a more comforting atmosphere.

Why Small Ships Work Better for Solo Travelers

It’s easy to assume a large ship means more people to meet, but I’ve found the opposite: the smaller the ship, the easier it is to connect with like-minded passengers.

Intimacy, shared tables, and friendly staff

My first cruise was on the Paul Gauguin, a small ship with just 330 passengers. The restaurant staff welcomed me and consistently found me a seat at shared tables with other solo travelers and friendly couples who wanted to mingle. Conversations flowed, and getting to know people from other countries while sharing travel stories made me feel alive.

No Single Supplement on PONANT Cruises

I’ve chosen to stay with PONANT and similar small-ship lines (185–330 passengers). One big benefit I discovered: PONANT offers “no single supplement” on many departures, meaning you can have your own cabin without paying extra for single occupancy. On their website, you can filter offers by “no single supplement.”

The Ponant website allows you to filter “no single supplement” under “Offers.”

Highlights from a Smithsonian Cruise on Le Champlain

  • Many cruise lines organize a welcome cocktail reception on the first or second night of your cruise. Don’t be disappointed if you meet only women at the reception. On one cruise, there were 19 solo women and one man, who happened to be gay, and who had just lost his partner.

Lectures, Panama Canal, Darian tribe excursions

  • Ponant offers lectures on board. I was recently on a Smithsonian cruise through the Panama Canal and Costa Rica, and we had lectures on the history of building the canal and on the wildlife in both countries by experts in the field.
Sailing through the Panama Canal
Sailing through the Panama Canal
Meeting the Darian Tribe in Panama
Meeting the Darian Tribe in Panama
Mother painting black ink on her child. Ink is used for mosquito and sun protection.
Mother painting black ink on her child. Ink is used for mosquito and sun protection.
  • Interesting excursions with small groups. No long lines to get off the ship.
Private Beach with buffet lunch served
Private Beach with buffet lunch served
Private Beach in Panama
Private Beach in Panama
Private beach with no crowds when you sail with PONANT
Private beach with no crowds when you sail with PONANT

Food, Service, and Gala Evenings on Le Champlain

  • The food is to die for, but I’ve always loved French refined food with delicious, freshly prepared meals and smaller portions.
Champagne and Caviar evening on Le Champlain
Champagne and Caviar evening on Le Champlain
  • Friendly crew and staff who get to know you and truly care about you and your comfort.
  • I like to dress up for cocktails and dinner in the evening and share stories with fellow passengers during a pre-dinner cocktail and dinner.
  • No tipping as everything is included. Wifi and drinks, including free-flowing French Champagne and nice canapes.

Tips for Making Friends Onboard

– Attend the welcome cocktail and any orientation/social events.

– Sit at shared tables in the dining room or ask the staff to seat you with others.

– Join lectures, classes, and shore excursions — these naturally create shared experiences and conversation starters.

– Be open and approachable: a simple question about someone’s itinerary or hometown often leads to a great conversation.

Should You Try Solo Cruising?

I hope you give small ship solo cruising a try. You’ll enjoy the freedom to explore new places while still enjoying the companionship of fellow travelers and the attentive, familiar crew. It’s a blend of independence, luxury, learning, and social connection — everything I want from travel.

 

Single Woman Cruising Solo

March 21, 2025 by Sonia Marsh 2 Comments

Single Woman Solo Cruising:

Sonia enjoying the Paul Gauguin cruise in Bora Bora

I’m a single woman cruising solo and enjoying life at 67. I feel young, vibrant, and excited about life.

With all the turmoil and uncertainty in our world today, I’ve decided to cruise solo as much as my budget will allow. I’m in good health and want to enjoy the positives, meeting people from other countries and seeing new places on our beautiful planet.

Focusing on small ships catering to singles:

This year, I’ve booked three different cruise lines to compare: PONANT (French), CRYSTAL (owned by Abercrombie and Kent), and SEABOURN (Carnival Corporation & plc.) After trying all three cruises, I’ll be able to discuss the pros and cons of each, and decide which cruise line I prefer.

Solo traveling is growing, especially among women, so I have researched the smaller ships that offer discounts for solo travelers, and cannot wait to compare all three.

My first cruise is on The Paul Gauguin Cruise Ship (PONANT)

I plan to spend a week in Bath, U.K., before heading to Singapore, where the first leg of my cruise starts.

This will be my third cruise on the Paul Gauguin twice to French Polynesia, which I highly recommend.

The ship is small, with 330 passengers, and the crew is always upbeat and friendly. They remember my first name and the extra-strong Americano is ready every morning when I arrive at the early risers continental breakfast bar.

On my Christmas cruise in French Polynesia, I met a nice Romanian woman who loves to swim as much as I do. We would meet at the coffee bar at 6:00 a.m. and wait for the swimming pool to be refilled with warm seawater. I love that there is no chlorine in the pool and that they replace it with seawater daily. Here’s a video on how they do it.

https://soniamarsh.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/PXL_20241226_160051340.mp4

I’ve never been to Singapore, so I decided to hire a guide (tours by locals). I arrive in the evening at Changi Airport, and a Paul Gauguin representative will drive me to my hotel. (That’s the plan!) The following day, I’ll have 3 hours to tour Singapore’s highlights with my guide before embarkation.

Another bonus are the lectures on board the Paul Gauguin by various experts. So I look forward to learning about different cultures and other interesting facts on my two-week journey to Darwin (see map above). I’ve pre-booked my excursions to stunning islands and beaches such as Parai Beach, Indonesia, Java, Bali,

Nusa-Penida Bali

Komodo Island (and the famous Komodo dragons, the largest species of dragons up to 330 lbs).

Komodo dragon

My last excursion before Darwin, is in Dili (the capital of East Timor), an island that I was hoping the Peace Corps would send me to volunteer when I applied.

Please follow me as I cruise along for another two weeks to Fiji.

Let me know if you’ve experienced a wonderful cruise and which cruise lines you would suggest I try.

More to come!!!

Sonia

 

2nd part of the cruise from Darwin to Fiji
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  • Do You Really Want to Live to 120? The Truth About Healthspan vs. Lifespan
  • I’ve Forgotten How to Drive — My Tesla’s Drives Better Than Me
  • Why I Quit Dating Apps at 68—And My 35-Year-Old Son Has the Same Problem

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  • Do You Really Want to Live to 120? The Truth About Healthspan vs. Lifespan
  • I’ve Forgotten How to Drive — My Tesla’s Drives Better Than Me
  • Why I Quit Dating Apps at 68—And My 35-Year-Old Son Has the Same Problem
  • Solo Cruising Doesn’t Mean You’re Alone
  • Single Woman Cruising Solo

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