Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

“My Gutsy Story” by Muriel Demarcus

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My Gutsy Story
By background, I am an Engineer. I used to be able drive trains and my specialty was Signalling (you know, the stuff that always fails on the railways). I have walked down the tracks while new trains were being tested (scary) and opened new metro lines in Paris. I have also investigated train accidents and tried to re-calculate speed profiles using complicated modeling tools to understand what had gone wrong. I am French-born, and it is fair to say that until recently I was a pure French product: I had been to the right schools and universities, and was pretty much brought up to climb the corporate ladder. Oh, and I could barely speak English -let alone write it, because German was my first foreign language (don’t ask, it is a French thing).
But, in 2004, I had to go out of my comfort zone: to cut a long story short, my husband was offered a job in London. Basically, I had two options: change husband, or change job. I chose the latter, which meant that I had to drop my much-loved job (an important part of my identity!) and find something else, in London this time. My industry works a lot by word of mouth and I eventually managed to find something else, less interesting of course, but somehow I felt that I couldn’t be too picky, given that my English was so basic…
Soon enough, I felt that I was wasting my time and my talents. I felt trapped. As a woman with a French accent, I wasn’t being taken seriously at all. I have lost count of the “Do I know you from somewhere?” comments. My notes were constantly edited to make them “Oxbridge-compliant” (I am used to working in bullet points, but it wasn’t doing the trick over here!). So, after a while, I decided to start my own business in parallel. It was about the development and management of commercial properties, mainly to maintain and store boats –I just saw an opportunity and grabbed it when I bought some cheap land close to the coast.
Eventually, my business started to make more money than my day job. It was time to change my priorities. My boring but comfortable job was holding me back. I didn’t like it any more. Still, finding the strength to resign was more difficult than I thought: most people wait patiently for a nice redundancy package, but that was not my mindset, and I knew that the extra-time spend on my business would bring me new clients anyway. After months of procrastination, I finally resigned and left. Most of my colleagues didn’t understand why I didn’t wait to get some more money.
What I love about my business is that it gives me the time and flexibility to take care of my family and explore other side of my personality, such as writing.
I started my blog (www.FrenchYummyMummy.com) as a new year’s resolution. It became addictive. After a few weeks I had more than 4,000 hits a month. I couldn’t believe that my thoughts and worries could be of any interest. I was clearly wrong.
It felt good.
I am now writing as much as I can, with a view -who knows?- to publish a book one day. It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British. But more importantly, I feel more like myself. I am finally designing my life around what matters to me. I know it is better late than never. But, after years of always doing what was expected from me, I am slowly starting to become what I want to be. Oh, and I am learning to drive boats now!
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Muriel Demarcus is a self-proclaimed French Yummy Mummy living in London. She started working in Paris in the Railways industry and never imagined that she would have to move abroad.
At 32 years, she discovered that life outside of France was possible and even enjoyable when all the family had to move to London due to her husband’s new job. It was 7 years ago and since then she doesn’t feel French any more and isn’t British yet.

Muriel and her two lovely daughters

Her two daughters have now started to correct her bad English accent, which she hates. In 2011, she decided to start a blog and hasn’t looked back since. She can be found at www.FrenchYummyMummy.com or @FrenchYumMummy on Twitter.

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Our First Story for the December “My Gutsy Story” Contest

Thank you Muriel. What a great story about getting out of your comfort zone and adapting to a new life in the U.K. Not only that, but you started your own company, taught yourself English, and started your successful blog French Yummy Mummy. I love reading books about Americans, Australians and British women who moved to France. One I enjoyed in particular is called, “What French Women Know,” by Debra Ollivier. So now finally, Muriel Demarcus will write a book about the reverse: A French woman living in the U.K.  It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British.

(Please leave your comments below for Muriel to answer. She will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Comments

    • Sonia Marsh says

      Muriel,

      Well I think every woman is strong-minded. We all have something we’ve done that’s “Gutsy,” even though we may not think so until someone points it out to us. Thanks for bringing another perspective to getting out of your comfort zone. Let us all know when you have your book out. I want to read it.

  3. Joy says

    This says it all: “I feel more like myself. I am finally designing my life around what matters to me.”
    The moment we acknowledge our truth is the moment we open fully to life; which then becomes a glorious adventure full of infinite possibility. I love that you felt you had a choice: change your husband or your job and what you changed was your self!
    Thank you for sharing your very inspirational story!

    • Muriel says

      Thanks for your kind words Joy. I know that it might sound silly, but my job was an important part of my identity and having to start elsewhere came as a shock!
      I am happier now, and I am learning every day something new about myself…
      Muriel recently posted..Baking FrenzyMy Profile

  4. Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane says

    Muriel, you were and are brave making your own life a success after losing part of your “identity.” This is very hard to do. But often in life a problem or a misfortune actually develops into a positive change if we are willing to see the possibilities and act on them. Wishing you lots of success in your business.

    PS: I liked the bread post on your blog. I love good bread!

    • Muriel says

      Thanks for your kind comments, miss Footloose.
      I can assure you that, at the time, I was not too pleased to leave Paris.
      That said, it is all about trying to make do with what we have, isn’t it?

      Nb: glad you enjoyed my post on my bread-baking frenzy.,,

    • Muriel says

      Thanks again for your support Sam! That said, you did something even gutsier: you followed your heart and are now living in Peru – how did you do it?
      It must be quite an experience!
      As for the book, I need to write more -somehow I can’t seem to find the time!
      Muriel recently posted..Baking FrenzyMy Profile

    • Muriel says

      Thanks for your kind words. You are right. It probably sounds like a no-brainer with the benefit of hindsight …but believe me, I was scared to leave the like I knew…to a degree, I still am scared, but also much happier!
      Muriel recently posted..Baking FrenzyMy Profile

  11. Hajra says

    Hey Muriel,

    This has been so wonderful. Janine had introduced me to your blog and I must say I simply loved it from then on! I don’t know anyone French and I know a few British; but the amalgamation of both the worlds is such a wonderful experience to read through your blog!

    I was so surprised when the train driving thing came back; do take us on a ride when we come to London some day!

    Your life sure has been gutsy! Thanks for sharing this! Have a nice week!
    Hajra recently posted..Trying my best to make 400 $ !My Profile

    • Muriel says

      Thanks for your support Hajra. As for the train driving I am afraid that my licence has now expired…But I will take you around London if you come to visit one day!
      Muriel recently posted..Happy New YearMy Profile

  12. Deborah says

    I’m a great fan of Muriel’s blog, and hers is a really impressive story. To be a female engineer is admirable enough, but then to move to a foreign country and take it on as she has calls for something really special. I am also deeply impressed by the way she writes English now – this is one seriously clever lady with a great joie de vivre!

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