Debra Ollivier Archives - Sonia Marsh

My Gutsy Story

By background, I am an Engineer. I used to be able drive trains and my specialty was Signalling (you know, the stuff that always fails on the railways). I have walked down the tracks while new trains were being tested (scary) and opened new metro lines in Paris. I have also investigated train accidents and tried to re-calculate speed profiles using complicated modeling tools to understand what had gone wrong. I am French-born, and it is fair to say that until recently I was a pure French product: I had been to the right schools and universities, and was pretty much brought up to climb the corporate ladder. Oh, and I could barely speak English -let alone write it, because German was my first foreign language (don’t ask, it is a French thing).

But, in 2004, I had to go out of my comfort zone: to cut a long story short, my husband was offered a job in London. Basically, I had two options: change husband, or change job. I chose the latter, which meant that I had to drop my much-loved job (an important part of my identity!) and find something else, in London this time. My industry works a lot by word of mouth and I eventually managed to find something else, less interesting of course, but somehow I felt that I couldn’t be too picky, given that my English was so basic…

Soon enough, I felt that I was wasting my time and my talents. I felt trapped. As a woman with a French accent, I wasn’t being taken seriously at all. I have lost count of the “Do I know you from somewhere?” comments. My notes were constantly edited to make them “Oxbridge-compliant” (I am used to working in bullet points, but it wasn’t doing the trick over here!). So, after a while, I decided to start my own business in parallel. It was about the development and management of commercial properties, mainly to maintain and store boats –I just saw an opportunity and grabbed it when I bought some cheap land close to the coast.

Eventually, my business started to make more money than my day job. It was time to change my priorities. My boring but comfortable job was holding me back. I didn’t like it any more. Still, finding the strength to resign was more difficult than I thought: most people wait patiently for a nice redundancy package, but that was not my mindset, and I knew that the extra-time spend on my business would bring me new clients anyway. After months of procrastination, I finally resigned and left. Most of my colleagues didn’t understand why I didn’t wait to get some more money.

What I love about my business is that it gives me the time and flexibility to take care of my family and explore other side of my personality, such as writing.

I started my blog (www.FrenchYummyMummy.com) as a new year’s resolution. It became addictive. After a few weeks I had more than 4,000 hits a month. I couldn’t believe that my thoughts and worries could be of any interest. I was clearly wrong.

It felt good.

I am now writing as much as I can, with a view -who knows?- to publish a book one day. It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British. But more importantly, I feel more like myself. I am finally designing my life around what matters to me. I know it is better late than never. But, after years of always doing what was expected from me, I am slowly starting to become what I want to be. Oh, and I am learning to drive boats now!

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Muriel Demarcus is a self-proclaimed French Yummy Mummy living in London. She started working in Paris in the Railways industry and never imagined that she would have to move abroad.
At 32 years, she discovered that life outside of France was possible and even enjoyable when all the family had to move to London due to her husband’s new job. It was 7 years ago and since then she doesn’t feel French any more and isn’t British yet.

Muriel and her two lovely daughters

Her two daughters have now started to correct her bad English accent, which she hates. In 2011, she decided to start a blog and hasn’t looked back since. She can be found at www.FrenchYummyMummy.com or @FrenchYumMummy on Twitter.

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Our First Story for the December “My Gutsy Story” Contest

Thank you Muriel. What a great story about getting out of your comfort zone and adapting to a new life in the U.K. Not only that, but you started your own company, taught yourself English, and started your successful blog French Yummy Mummy. I love reading books about Americans, Australians and British women who moved to France. One I enjoyed in particular is called, “What French Women Know,” by Debra Ollivier. So now finally, Muriel Demarcus will write a book about the reverse: A French woman living in the U.K. It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British.

(Please leave your comments below for Muriel to answer. She will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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VOTE for your Favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

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HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

The French are a nation of proud people who believe in projecting an image of self-confidence and “importance.” They demonstrate this clearly in the way they dress, and the food they prepare, and yes, I believe my fourteen years of living in Paris have influenced my way of thinking..

Paris from L’Arc de Triomphe

In her book, Almost French, Sarah Turnbull, an Australian author who married a French man and now lives in Paris, offers hilarious examples of the differences between Anglo Saxons and the French. She talks about the fight she had with her French boyfriend, Frédéric, over what to wear to the bakery. Apparently, “le jogging” or “tracksuit pants” were not appropriate for “le boulanger.” After several years, Sarah admits she’s becoming more Parisienne. “The fight was more than four years ago,” she says, “And I haven’t worn tracksuit pants since.” She claims to have chucked out her shapeless T-shirts and baggy woolly jumpers, which she donated to a local homeless couple, but even they refused to wear them.

So why am I bringing this up? Because I’m a firm believer that making an effort in life, pays off. Just like being disciplined about writing, exercising, teaching, or whatever else you choose, deciding on your image is also important. I’m talking about looking and feeling your best for you, so that you treat yourself as “an important person.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about being arrogant; I’m talking about treating yourself with the respect you deserve.

A while ago, I wrote a post on “What French Women Know; Can We Learn From Them?” which also brought up some interesting cultural differences between French and American women. The author, Debra Ollivier, an American living in Paris said, “Most French women know who they are.”

I discovered that dressing professionally boosts my confidence and helps me treat my writing as a full-time job, even though I write in my kitchen, or at the library. I do it for me.

Now when I stop at my local Peet’s coffee, I often bump into a group of friends and we joke about who’s feeling important today.

What makes you feel important? It can be anything, no matter how big or small.