Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

Sonia wishes you a Gutsy Holiday Season

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It’s getting close to the end of the year; a time to reflect on what’s important in life, how we can help others, our goals, what we are grateful for and so much more.

Thanks to the Internet, and social media, I’ve met so many wonderful people, and read so many inspiring, funny, sad, informative and motivational stories.

One thing I’ve learned is that we all have our own unique “My Gutsy Story” and I am grateful to Jill Fales, the winner of our first “My Gutsy Story” contest, for her comment.

 “I really appreciate everything you do for women and men who want to take a risk. I feel that there may be people out there on the fence and through this contest, they may be convinced to go to the other side!”

I think Jill brought up something even bigger than what I had hoped for with the “My Gutsy Story” series. By reading other stories and sharing our own, we truly help one another realize we have options in life. We are all connected and through our stories and those of famous inspirational people, like Jane Goodall, I find myself more and more attracted to global issues.

Jane Goodall

I have always wanted to be like Jane Goodall. Perhaps living in Nigeria as a child, has given me the desire to return to certain parts of Africa, or maybe it’s the fact that my children are growing up that has sparked a need to help others less fortunate than me.

Sonia in Nigeria as a child

 

As Jane Goodall says:

“If you really want something, work hard, take risks, grab opportunities, and never give up … then there is definitely a way to success.”

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a wonderful holiday season with family and friends and look forward to reading and sharing your, “My Gutsy Story.”

“My Gutsy Story” by Cheryl Stahle

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Just Another Religious Festival

“OK”.  And with that one word, my 15 year marriage ended.  We had both given up so there were no fights or last hurrahs to save our union.  I wanted our son.  Done.  He wanted his pension.  OK.  We actually negotiated the division of property at Starbucks over lattes.  Dutch treat!

It doesn’t get any better than that for a friendly divorce.

However, I had spent the previous 15 years as an ice hockey mom and school teacher for at-risk teens.  For this 70s throwback of peace, love, rock and roll, violence didn’t fit with my belief system; however, circumstances dropped it into my lap daily both at home and at school.  Along the way I disappeared while serving the needs of everyone else.  I couldn’t even remember what I enjoyed doing and I didn’t know where to start in creating Cheryl Version 2.0, middle aged edition.

Slowly I experienced rebirth, dabbled in online dating (just don’t!), raised an amazing son and developed deep interests in yoga, reading and writing. My regular haunts included Starbucks, yoga studios and bookstores.  Not exactly the life of a thrill-seeker but joy appeared in subtle ways through the perfect backbend or a well written novel devoured over a latte and cookie.   I was restless though.  After so many years living in ice rinks and never taking a vacation I had to blow off some steam and this lovely life I had created did not include adventure.

Three weeks.  That became my gift of time and for once in my adult life, I had freedom.  Throw caution to the wind, this was a childless adventure.  My friends thought I’d head to the shore with a stack of books when I shared the news of a getaway.  Not this time.

The Festival of San Fermin!  That’s where I chose to go so I planned a vacation around that religious holiday.  Traveling to the major cities of Spain introduced me to centuries old neighborhoods, gothic cathedrals, and fabulous museums.  I soaked it all in while spending siesta time sitting in plazas drinking cava.  Three weeks.  Time for me.  And for kicks, I went alone and did not activate international cell phone service.   No one to tell me when to get up, what to eat for dinner, or how to spend the days.

I enjoyed 2 glorious weeks traveling throughout Spain with my camera in hand.  I wandered through street markets, toured museums and palaces and chose to view only masterpieces at the Prado.  I even crashed a wedding reception.  Why not?  No one really knew what I was doing but me.  I enjoyed freedom for the first time.

Did I mention that the Festival of San Fermin is more commonly called the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona?   I didn’t tell too many people from home either.  I certainly didn’t tell my mother what adventure awaited me.  My guess was that wouldn’t go over too well.

The bulls in Pamplona

A train ride later, I entered the tiny village of Pamplona.  The annual kickoff food fight had fortunately already ended by the time I settled into my hotel but the partying had just begun.  I began to realize that my standard glass of wine was not going to be the norm for the next few days.

Mardi Gras looked tame compared to Pamplona during the festival.  Dressed in obligatory whites with red sash and scarf, I elbowed my way through the crowds to enter the streets.  Once there, African conga drums played, strangers pulled me into their arms to dance in the street and mimes entertained all.  Music poured forth from stores and vendors filled the streets selling t-shirts and flags. The streets provided sensory overload but once I got into a rhythm, the crowds became invisible.   Callemucho .  The drink of San Fermin poured freely usually by flask or 2 gallon jug.

Cheryl Stahl in Pamplona

After a night of partying and no sleep, the actual festival began.  Fueled with over a decade of pent up energy, I  chanted “let ‘em loose”  in my mind.  Catch me if you can.  But I’m not quite as foolhardy as it appears.

First, most of the people running had imbibed for at least 24 hours.  I chose to toss back just one flask of Callemucho (cheap wine and soda).  Juts for courage I thought but my balance remained rock solid.  Next, a plan.  I wasn’t about to run on a cobblestone street the width of a standard American alley full of drunks without knowing the lay of the land.  I watched the first day, safely ensconced on a balcony two stories above bull level.

Day 2 however I joined the crowd in the street.  My earlier reconnaissance showed that the end of the run was safer as there were fewer people (still packed shoulder to shoulder), a bit more space on the street and a fence to leap over should the need arise.  So that’s where I planned the start of my run.

I heard the shot indicating that the bulls had left their pens, waited my 17 seconds for them to arrive, and then hit the street.  There they were, 10 agitated, magnificent 2000 pound beasts and me soaking wet at 115 pounds.  This sister ran fast, smelled their musky odor as they swept by and breathed a sigh of relief as I choked on their dust when they roared past.  My 2 seconds of glory.  Not trampled, not hurt and only a slight glow of perspiration on my brow.   I ran with the bulls.  Feel my power now people!

This single mom can do anything these days.   When life gets tough or when I’m feeling a bit beaten up, I don my red sash from Pamplona, look at the photos I took of the bulls on my desk and smile.  I found my inner courage again.  I’m getting to know myself too.  Life’s not so bad as Version 2.0.

 

Cheryl Stahle, memoirist, author and founder ofYour Best Writing Group (www.yourbestwritinggroup.com) lives in Doylestown, PA with her son.  Cheryl consults with aspiring authors to guide them in telling their life stories.  She has a special interest in working with adoptive families as an adoptive parent herself.

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Thank you Cheryl for giving women the courage to do something so unique and spectacular for themselves. I am a firm believer that when you get out of your comfort zone, you get that special feeling that you can accomplish anything in your life and you are a perfect example of this.

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Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

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Jill Fales, winner of our first “My Gutsy Story” contest, picked the following prize:

  • Spectrum Specialties and Awards just joined on 11/2/11 with a wonderful prize: 1000 14pt business cards with UV coating, full color process, & double sided print. I am so thrilled as I know they do quality work.

Rhonda Hayes, came in second. Since she was the first to submit her story and since this was the first contest, she also won a prize and selected a chapter critique from Angela Ackerman..

  • Angela Ackerman offered two choices: a first chapter critique or a blog consultation offering her expertise on your blog layout, content, etc and offer advice on tweaking it to improve, draw in visitors, increase visibility, etc. Winner can choose which would benefit them more. Angela and Becca have put together the most helpful blog for writers called The Bookshelf Muse.Check out their emotional thesaurus, weather thesaurus and so much more to help writers.

    Angela Ackerman

 

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Voting for your favorite December “My Gutsy Story” starts on January 1st-January 11th. The December winner will be announced on Thursday January 12th.

Please leave your comments for Cheryl below.

Winner of the first “My Gutsy Story” contest is…

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My Gutsy Story 1st place

Jill Fales (1st Place)

Congratulations to Jill Fales who received the most votes with her “My  Gutsy Story” about taking her kids on the Great American field trip, an educational road trip across the U.S.  Jill writes a weekly column in the Newport Beach Independent called Mom’s Voice and with her large fan base, Jill received 74 votes in total, which amounted to 40% of the total.

Rhonda Hayes (2nd Place)

Congratulations to Rhonda Hayes. Rhonda’s “My Gutsy Story” was the first one submitted for the contest, and Rhonda’s story was so moving and inspiring to all of us. She received 59 votes. or 32% of the total. Rhonda is writing a memoir, so for all you readers interested in memoirs, please check out her website.

Karen van der Zee (3rd Place)

Congratulations to Karen van der Zee for her humorous “My Gutsy Story” about her wedding in Kenya. Karen has published numerous romance novels and is now focusing on her travel stories from around the world. She writes a blog called, “Life in the Expat Lane” which is packed with vignettes from her life all over the place, and now lives in Moldova. Don’t know where Moldova is? Find out on her blog.

Nikki Ah Wong (Honorable mention) came in 4th, and has an inspiring “My Gutsy Story” about adventure in mid-life. Check out her new book, “Housesitting in Australia.” I just downloaded it and find it fascinating that housesitting can be an alternative to renting, if planned correctly.

Lauri Kubuitsile (Honorable mention) came in 5th. Lauri wrote an amazing “My Gutsy Story” of courage and how she ended up taking charge of her own life at sixteen. Lauri is an award winning author from Botswana. You can find out more about her on her blog: Thoughts from Botswana.

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Thank you to these 5 amazing “My Gutsy Story” writers.

This month, since the holidays are coming up, I have decided that there are TWO WINNERS:

1). Jill Fales

2). Rhonda Hayes

Jill gets to pick the prize from our sponsors first, and I shall let you know what she selected on Monday, December 19th’s post.

Rhonda gets to select her prize after Jill, and I shall let you know too, on Monday December 19th.

Please continue submitting your “My Gutsy Story” for December.

We keep adding new sponsors all the time:

1). Angela Ackerman has kindly offered two choices: a first chapter critique or a blog consultation (offer my expertise of the blog layout, content, etc and offer advice on tweaking it to improve, draw in visitors, increase visibility, etc). Winner can choose which would benefit them more. Angela and Becca have put together the most helpful blog for writers called The Bookshelf Muse. Check out their emotional thesaurus, weather thesaurus and so much more to help writers.

2). Peet’s Ccffee and Tea, gift card and basket. I am a huge fan of Peet’s coffee, as some of you may know from my previous posts. If you are a writer, you probably drink coffee or tea and all my local Peet’s, see me every day. Details of their prize will come later.

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If you wish to submit your own “My Gutsy Story” please check out guidelines here.

Our sponsors are listed here.

Also our December 2011 contest started with Muriel Demarcus story on Monday December 5th. You can read her wonderful, “My Gutsy Story.”

Richard Potter wrote our second December story on December 12th. You can read his inspiring “My Gutsy Story.”

The December votes start on January 1st until January 11th, with results for December contest winner announced on January 12th, 2012.

“My Gutsy Story” by Richard Potter

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A few years ago I volunteered to serve at a faith-based arts camp for Polish youth. Rafal, the camp director, met me at the Warsaw airport. As we drove to the camp, I asked what he had lined up for me to do for the week.

“We have six or eight campers who want to learn guitar,” he said. “So I thought you could lead an acoustic guitar workshop.”

Gitara akustyczna warsztat. WTF? I’ve played guitar for 35 years, but I’m no teacher. I can’t even remember how I learned! Did I really sign up for this? What was I thinking?

The next morning I walked through the campground to the gazebo where the workshop would shortly begin. Large rocks poked through a thin layer of soil, on which a carpet of pine needles had been laid by the branches waving overhead. The rising sun promised to chase away the slight chill in the air. Near the gazebo a sculpted lion’s head emerged from the ground, mouth wide open in a silent roar of triumph over the grave. It reminded me of Aslan, the lion-Christ-figure from CS Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia; I took comfort in the image and stepped timidly into the role of teacher. They don’t really need me here, I thought. But maybe I need to be here. Maybe this is what it means to “live by faith.”

The next morning Rafal encouraged all camp volunteers to tell our stories to our students. What role did faith play in the journey? My story does not make me proud. I grew up in a nice family that attended church every week. Dad taught Sunday school and volunteered with my Scout troop. Mom was the church organist and taught piano. I took piano for a few years, then played cello in the school orchestra.

At 14 I traded cello for guitar. Next I traded church and Scouts for rock and roll. I picked up smoking, then drinking, then marijuana, then cocaine. Like Pinocchio, I was living it up on Pleasure Island — and turning into a total ass.

One night an LSD trip went bad. I asked a friend to drive me home. He stroked the puppy in his lap as he drove. Suddenly my friend morphed into the Devil, and I became the puppy. Terrified, I opened the door to escape; but it was too late. Demons held me down.

In reality, I had jumped out of the car. My friend somehow delivered me to a hospital where I resisted restraint. My parents arrived as the LSD was wearing off. When they led Mom to my bedside, I couldn’t understand what she was doing in hell. My mom would never be in hell, I thought. But here she was, holding my hand. Had I been given a second chance?

The fractured leg and shattered shoulder blade would heal much sooner than my broken spirit. A Lutheran counselor said that my story reminded him of the prodigal son in the Bible. For the first time I considered the possibility that a Bible story had been written with me in mind. It was the first of many steps on the road to recovery.

The students were quiet as I finished my story. We turned our attention to guitars. At the end of the session, Natalia and Karolina asked if I would help them after lunch. Natalia was fascinated with classic rock and roll: the Doors, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd. I wondered, how can I teach songs like that to beginners?

Back at my cabin, I found the Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues” on my mp3 player. The girls were waiting when I returned to the gazebo. I showed Natalia where to place her fingers; Karolina followed suit. When they began to get the hang of it, I asked if they’d like to try Deep Purple’s “Smoke On The Water.” Oh, YES! They spent an hour practicing the songs.

“Omigosh!” Natalia squealed suddenly, bouncing up and down on the wooden bench. “I play Doors! I play Deep Purple!”

Yes, I nodded to myself. I know the feeling very well.

The arts camp ended with an outdoor celebration. By the light of a bonfire I said good-bye to new friends, taking pictures, collecting email addresses, and making false promises to stay in touch. There was a tap on my shoulder.

“Someone would like to say something to you,” said Rafal. Natalia peaked out from behind.

“Thank you so much for teaching me songs I love, and for sharing your story,” she began. “I have a friend in Warsaw…” She paused and turned to Rafal. “This is so hard!” Tears welled as she continued. “My friend smokes marijuana. Every time I visit she asks me if I want to try. She gives me pressure. I had decided that next time I am with her, I will try it. Then you told your story. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Now I have decided not to try the marijuana. I promise you I will not do drugs.”

“Be strong,” I said. “Keep God in your heart.” We hugged, and off she went to join her friends, long brown hair bouncing in rhythm with her flowered peasant skirt.

“You see Richard,” said Rafal, “even in your fifties you can make a difference.”

“Thanks, Rafal,” I said with a grin. “I’m 46.”

Richard Potter with Rafal

As a musician I play by ear, and this often comes in handy, like when I taught Natalia and Karolina the Doors and Deep Purple. In life I catch myself playing by fear. I’m afraid to take risks, afraid that people will run away if I let them discover the real me. I pray for the fears to go away, but that prayer goes unanswered. In Poland I learned that courage is not the absence of fear; it is the presence of faith. When I live by that truth, the outcomes are absolutely amazing.

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Richard M. Potter is a freelance writer, musician, and consultant to nonprofit organizations. His writing has appeared in Leader To Leader, Children’s Voice, Advancing Philanthropy, and other publications. As a grantwriter he has secured millions of dollars to support various charitable causes, including a $5 million grant from the WK Kellogg Foundation to fund internship stipends for future nonprofit professionals. Richard blogs on purpose at www.richardmpotter.com. He and his wife of 22 years are the parents of two wonderful teenaged children. They reside in Kansas City, Missouri.

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Thank you Richard for submitting this positive and inspiring story about how in helping others, you also overcame your own fears. This is the first  “My Gutsy Story” written by a man, and  I hope this will be the start to many more. I hope you visit Richard Potter’s website and learn more about him and his writing. If you love memoirs, I know you’ll enjoy Shirley Sholwater, and her amazing blog 100 memoirs. Without her, I may not have discovered Richard, and he may not have submitted his “My Gutsy Story.”

 

(Please leave your comments below for Richard to answer. He will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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You have until Wednesday December 13th at 11:59p.m. to VOTE for your Favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

Winner of November Contest will be announced on December 14th. We shall let you know what prize was selected and ask for a photo. Hope you come back to see.

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HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Why I self-published by Ali Luke

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This is a Guest post by Ali Luke from Aliventures.

Imagine my surprise when Ali Luke, a writing coach who has been featured on some of the biggest online blogs like Copyblogger and ProBlogger, and who recently spoke at Blogworld, the world’s largest social media conference, decided to send me her “My Gutsy Story.” Since Ali is a writing coach, I thought it would be helpful for writers looking to publish their work to see how Ali Luke took the plunge to indie-publish her first novel and why.

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My Gutsy Story: Publishing My First Novel

In November 2011, I released my first novel, Lycopolis.

It took a lot of time.

I spent a year drafting. And another year re-drafting. And then I edited – again and again. Along the way, I cut out tens of thousands of words.

It took a lot of money.

I wrote the bulk of the novel while studying for a part-time Masters in Creative Writing (not cheap)! I paid a wonderful professional editor to go through the whole Draft 5 manuscript. I took day courses, went to conferences, bought writing books.

Most of all, it took a lot of courage.

I put more of myself into Lycopolis than I’ve ever put into any piece of writing. I shared my work with tutors and fellow students. I wrote and rewrote and polished and gave it my very best.

Why I Self-Published

For a long time, I’d clung to an old writing dream. If you’re a writer too, it might be one that you share. I wanted to get an agent, sign a book deal, and write novels for a living – all day, every day.

The problem is, that dream started to look more and more unrealistic.

Publishing is undergoing the biggest upheaval since Gutenberg. With ebooks – and Amazon’s dominance over traditional book stores – things have been changing fast.

More and more authors are deciding to go it alone. There are plenty of good reasons why:

  • You’ve got full control over the finished product. I’ve seen some shocking badly formatted ebooks from big publishers who should know better – and I didn’t want to risk that happening to mine.
  • You get to keep considerably more of the money. Most published authors don’t make a living through writing. At 10 – 15 % per book, they’re not the ones getting rich from their hard work.
  • You can publish something that’s from your heart, not what’s expected to sell. If you’re writing in an unpopular genre (or across genres) then self-publishing means you can produce the book you want, not what publishers can easily pigeon-hole.

I’m no stranger to putting my writing out there. I’ve been blogging for several years – you can find my work on dozens of different websites. But publishing a novel took a lot of guts.

I thought my established readership might not like it. My blogging is pretty upbeat; Lycopolis is quite dark. (Lots of people have said they enjoyed it, and that it was still “me”!)

I worried what friends and family would think. (The ones who’ve read it so far have been enthusiastic.)

I was afraid that the reviews wouldn’t be good: that my novel would be too thoughtful for genre fans and too fast-paced for literary fiction aficionados. (I’ve had great reviews from genre readers and literary readers.)

All of my fears were ungrounded. But I could so easily have let them stop me.

If you’ve been working on a project close to your heart, don’t be afraid to let the world see. I know it takes courage. But if you don’t go forwards, you’ll never know who you might touch, who’s life you might impact.

 

Ali Luke is the author of Lycopolis, a supernatural-thriller/contemporary-fantasy with a good dose of geekery thrown in. You can find out all about it at www.lycopolis.co.uk (and download the first five chapters as a free sample).

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Ali Luke is a writer and writing coach, with degrees in English Literature and Creative Writing. Her work can be found on a number of large websites, including Copyblogger, ProBlogger, Men with Pens and Write to Done. She’s spoken at BlogWorld and OxonDigital, and works with individuals and groups of writers. You can get several of her short ebooks for free (including the popular How to Find Time for Your Writing) when you join her newsletter. Her novel, Lycopolis, is available on Amazon.

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 Please leave your questions and comments for Ali below. Also I noticed Ali is offering a special price on all 3 of her Blogger’s Guides until December 12th. You may want to check them out on her Aliventures website.

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