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You are here: Home / Archives for “My Gutsy Story”

“My Gutsy Story” by Cheryl Stahle

December 19, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Just Another Religious Festival

“OK”.  And with that one word, my 15 year marriage ended.  We had both given up so there were no fights or last hurrahs to save our union.  I wanted our son.  Done.  He wanted his pension.  OK.  We actually negotiated the division of property at Starbucks over lattes.  Dutch treat!

It doesn’t get any better than that for a friendly divorce.

However, I had spent the previous 15 years as an ice hockey mom and school teacher for at-risk teens.  For this 70s throwback of peace, love, rock and roll, violence didn’t fit with my belief system; however, circumstances dropped it into my lap daily both at home and at school.  Along the way I disappeared while serving the needs of everyone else.  I couldn’t even remember what I enjoyed doing and I didn’t know where to start in creating Cheryl Version 2.0, middle aged edition.

Slowly I experienced rebirth, dabbled in online dating (just don’t!), raised an amazing son and developed deep interests in yoga, reading and writing. My regular haunts included Starbucks, yoga studios and bookstores.  Not exactly the life of a thrill-seeker but joy appeared in subtle ways through the perfect backbend or a well written novel devoured over a latte and cookie.   I was restless though.  After so many years living in ice rinks and never taking a vacation I had to blow off some steam and this lovely life I had created did not include adventure.

Three weeks.  That became my gift of time and for once in my adult life, I had freedom.  Throw caution to the wind, this was a childless adventure.  My friends thought I’d head to the shore with a stack of books when I shared the news of a getaway.  Not this time.

The Festival of San Fermin!  That’s where I chose to go so I planned a vacation around that religious holiday.  Traveling to the major cities of Spain introduced me to centuries old neighborhoods, gothic cathedrals, and fabulous museums.  I soaked it all in while spending siesta time sitting in plazas drinking cava.  Three weeks.  Time for me.  And for kicks, I went alone and did not activate international cell phone service.   No one to tell me when to get up, what to eat for dinner, or how to spend the days.

I enjoyed 2 glorious weeks traveling throughout Spain with my camera in hand.  I wandered through street markets, toured museums and palaces and chose to view only masterpieces at the Prado.  I even crashed a wedding reception.  Why not?  No one really knew what I was doing but me.  I enjoyed freedom for the first time.

Did I mention that the Festival of San Fermin is more commonly called the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona?   I didn’t tell too many people from home either.  I certainly didn’t tell my mother what adventure awaited me.  My guess was that wouldn’t go over too well.

The bulls in Pamplona

A train ride later, I entered the tiny village of Pamplona.  The annual kickoff food fight had fortunately already ended by the time I settled into my hotel but the partying had just begun.  I began to realize that my standard glass of wine was not going to be the norm for the next few days.

Mardi Gras looked tame compared to Pamplona during the festival.  Dressed in obligatory whites with red sash and scarf, I elbowed my way through the crowds to enter the streets.  Once there, African conga drums played, strangers pulled me into their arms to dance in the street and mimes entertained all.  Music poured forth from stores and vendors filled the streets selling t-shirts and flags. The streets provided sensory overload but once I got into a rhythm, the crowds became invisible.   Callemucho .  The drink of San Fermin poured freely usually by flask or 2 gallon jug.

Cheryl Stahl in Pamplona

After a night of partying and no sleep, the actual festival began.  Fueled with over a decade of pent up energy, I  chanted “let ‘em loose”  in my mind.  Catch me if you can.  But I’m not quite as foolhardy as it appears.

First, most of the people running had imbibed for at least 24 hours.  I chose to toss back just one flask of Callemucho (cheap wine and soda).  Juts for courage I thought but my balance remained rock solid.  Next, a plan.  I wasn’t about to run on a cobblestone street the width of a standard American alley full of drunks without knowing the lay of the land.  I watched the first day, safely ensconced on a balcony two stories above bull level.

Day 2 however I joined the crowd in the street.  My earlier reconnaissance showed that the end of the run was safer as there were fewer people (still packed shoulder to shoulder), a bit more space on the street and a fence to leap over should the need arise.  So that’s where I planned the start of my run.

I heard the shot indicating that the bulls had left their pens, waited my 17 seconds for them to arrive, and then hit the street.  There they were, 10 agitated, magnificent 2000 pound beasts and me soaking wet at 115 pounds.  This sister ran fast, smelled their musky odor as they swept by and breathed a sigh of relief as I choked on their dust when they roared past.  My 2 seconds of glory.  Not trampled, not hurt and only a slight glow of perspiration on my brow.   I ran with the bulls.  Feel my power now people!

This single mom can do anything these days.   When life gets tough or when I’m feeling a bit beaten up, I don my red sash from Pamplona, look at the photos I took of the bulls on my desk and smile.  I found my inner courage again.  I’m getting to know myself too.  Life’s not so bad as Version 2.0.

 

Cheryl Stahle, memoirist, author and founder ofYour Best Writing Group (www.yourbestwritinggroup.com) lives in Doylestown, PA with her son.  Cheryl consults with aspiring authors to guide them in telling their life stories.  She has a special interest in working with adoptive families as an adoptive parent herself.

*****

Thank you Cheryl for giving women the courage to do something so unique and spectacular for themselves. I am a firm believer that when you get out of your comfort zone, you get that special feeling that you can accomplish anything in your life and you are a perfect example of this.

*****

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

*****

Jill Fales, winner of our first “My Gutsy Story” contest, picked the following prize:

  • Spectrum Specialties and Awards just joined on 11/2/11 with a wonderful prize: 1000 14pt business cards with UV coating, full color process, & double sided print. I am so thrilled as I know they do quality work.

Rhonda Hayes, came in second. Since she was the first to submit her story and since this was the first contest, she also won a prize and selected a chapter critique from Angela Ackerman..

  • Angela Ackerman offered two choices: a first chapter critique or a blog consultation offering her expertise on your blog layout, content, etc and offer advice on tweaking it to improve, draw in visitors, increase visibility, etc. Winner can choose which would benefit them more. Angela and Becca have put together the most helpful blog for writers called The Bookshelf Muse.Check out their emotional thesaurus, weather thesaurus and so much more to help writers.

    Angela Ackerman

 

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Voting for your favorite December “My Gutsy Story” starts on January 1st-January 11th. The December winner will be announced on Thursday January 12th.

Please leave your comments for Cheryl below.

“My Gutsy Story” by Muriel Demarcus

December 5, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

My Gutsy Story
By background, I am an Engineer. I used to be able drive trains and my specialty was Signalling (you know, the stuff that always fails on the railways). I have walked down the tracks while new trains were being tested (scary) and opened new metro lines in Paris. I have also investigated train accidents and tried to re-calculate speed profiles using complicated modeling tools to understand what had gone wrong. I am French-born, and it is fair to say that until recently I was a pure French product: I had been to the right schools and universities, and was pretty much brought up to climb the corporate ladder. Oh, and I could barely speak English -let alone write it, because German was my first foreign language (don’t ask, it is a French thing).
But, in 2004, I had to go out of my comfort zone: to cut a long story short, my husband was offered a job in London. Basically, I had two options: change husband, or change job. I chose the latter, which meant that I had to drop my much-loved job (an important part of my identity!) and find something else, in London this time. My industry works a lot by word of mouth and I eventually managed to find something else, less interesting of course, but somehow I felt that I couldn’t be too picky, given that my English was so basic…
Soon enough, I felt that I was wasting my time and my talents. I felt trapped. As a woman with a French accent, I wasn’t being taken seriously at all. I have lost count of the “Do I know you from somewhere?” comments. My notes were constantly edited to make them “Oxbridge-compliant” (I am used to working in bullet points, but it wasn’t doing the trick over here!). So, after a while, I decided to start my own business in parallel. It was about the development and management of commercial properties, mainly to maintain and store boats –I just saw an opportunity and grabbed it when I bought some cheap land close to the coast.
Eventually, my business started to make more money than my day job. It was time to change my priorities. My boring but comfortable job was holding me back. I didn’t like it any more. Still, finding the strength to resign was more difficult than I thought: most people wait patiently for a nice redundancy package, but that was not my mindset, and I knew that the extra-time spend on my business would bring me new clients anyway. After months of procrastination, I finally resigned and left. Most of my colleagues didn’t understand why I didn’t wait to get some more money.
What I love about my business is that it gives me the time and flexibility to take care of my family and explore other side of my personality, such as writing.
I started my blog (www.FrenchYummyMummy.com) as a new year’s resolution. It became addictive. After a few weeks I had more than 4,000 hits a month. I couldn’t believe that my thoughts and worries could be of any interest. I was clearly wrong.
It felt good.
I am now writing as much as I can, with a view -who knows?- to publish a book one day. It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British. But more importantly, I feel more like myself. I am finally designing my life around what matters to me. I know it is better late than never. But, after years of always doing what was expected from me, I am slowly starting to become what I want to be. Oh, and I am learning to drive boats now!
*****

Muriel Demarcus is a self-proclaimed French Yummy Mummy living in London. She started working in Paris in the Railways industry and never imagined that she would have to move abroad.
At 32 years, she discovered that life outside of France was possible and even enjoyable when all the family had to move to London due to her husband’s new job. It was 7 years ago and since then she doesn’t feel French any more and isn’t British yet.

Muriel and her two lovely daughters

Her two daughters have now started to correct her bad English accent, which she hates. In 2011, she decided to start a blog and hasn’t looked back since. She can be found at www.FrenchYummyMummy.com or @FrenchYumMummy on Twitter.

*****

Our First Story for the December “My Gutsy Story” Contest

Thank you Muriel. What a great story about getting out of your comfort zone and adapting to a new life in the U.K. Not only that, but you started your own company, taught yourself English, and started your successful blog French Yummy Mummy. I love reading books about Americans, Australians and British women who moved to France. One I enjoyed in particular is called, “What French Women Know,” by Debra Ollivier. So now finally, Muriel Demarcus will write a book about the reverse: A French woman living in the U.K.  It is all about explaining how it feels to be French amongst the British.

(Please leave your comments below for Muriel to answer. She will be over I’m sure.)

Sonia Marsh

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VOTE for your Favorite November “My Gutsy Story”

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HOW TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN “My Gutsy Story”
To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO)
Submission guidelines here.

“My Gutsy Story” by Nikki Ah Wong

November 28, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Two bags and a yellow motorbike

 

At 49 years old, I was a manager in a non-profit organisation with a great salary, a company car, a phone and laptop. At 50, I became sort of motorbike riding gypsy, with no regular income. I spent the whole year travelling, exploring and living on an average of $100 a week.

It was a magical year.

I have always loved travelling and started at an early age.  When I was three years old, my parents left England for New Zealand, the land of clean, green pastures, rugged hills, and described in my childhood as the quarter acre, pavlova paradise.  I feel exceedingly fortunate to have grown up there.

I took holidays to Fiji, Singapore and England in my late teens. I got married in Samoa, and lived there for a year, sometimes staying in homes with no glass in the windows, no flushing toilet and a shower that was a hose attached to a tree branch.

Even when I had five sons, we managed a trip to Disneyland with a weekend In Hawaii and another week in Samoa.

I loved being a mother but my marriage was always hard work.

Finally, just before I turned fifty, and the second to youngest turned 18, I finally realised my marriage would never be any better and moved out into a flat of my own. I left my husband the house and children so he could continue his home based business. He repaid me by taking the youngest, who was almost 12, to Australia.

I love New Zealand and it surprised me to see so many of my friends and family move to Australia. I thought it was just a bigger New Zealand, with koalas, kangaroos, giant spiders and poisonous snakes.

I wanted to be closer to my youngest, so I decided to follow.

Before I could set a date to leave, an alcoholic I met online began to cause trouble for me. He called the police to report me missing and then sent hate letters to my employer. Soon after, I was made redundant from my well-paid job.

It seemed like the ideal time to go to Australia.

Luckily, I had also met a wonderful Australian man while online dating. He was my physical and moral support as I left New Zealand to follow my son.

I applied for a live in role at a health retreat but it was only two days before my flight that I received a call saying I could stay with them while they processed my application. The retreat was not what I expected and the job I applied for never materialised, but is set me up as an adventurer. Once I had made the leap, I decided to continue.

After the generous gift of a motorbike from my friend, I began to travel thousands of miles on my own up and down the east coast and mid-western highways. I took up scuba diving again after a thirty year hiatus and began hunting for geocaches*[1] in remote and diverse spots.

Nikki and her motorbike

To solve the problem of a place to live, I began to house sit. I moved into my first suburban home with one small bike bag and a backpack and began a new life. I stayed in 15 homes in one year. A dilapidated bungalow in the city, a recently constructed urban ghetto development, a Midwest country town, and several up market homes in inner city Brisbane, including one in a multi-million dollar gated community.

In between, I travelled and explored. I spent a night in a luxury High Rise overlooking the city and many more nights in a pub rooms that were no better than the back of a stock truck. I even slept in a friend’s car.

It has been a wild and adventurous ride and the adventure isn’t over yet.

I have plans to head to Greece, South America and Malta, the land of my birth. I want to visit Spain, Turkey and as many European countries as possible.

I expect to accompany my friend as he sails from New Zealand to Australia and one day I might try International Housesitting.

I have adopted the quote from the movie called Mr Magorium’s Emporium and now refer to myself as a wonder aficionado. While some people find the years when their children are grown are difficult, I love my new life.

I have written a book about my marvellous year and hope my story inspires others to take a chance on a dream and try something radically new, especially in their later years.

There is a whole wide wonderful world still waiting to be explored.

[1] Geocaching is explained in more detail in my book “Housesitting in Australia – Big Adventures on a Tiny Budget”.

 

 *****

Biography – Nikki Ah Wong

Author of  “Housesitting in Australia –Big Adventures on a Tiny Budget”.

Mr Magorium said it best. I am a wonder aficionado. I love life and adventure.

I am a life coach, mentor, house sitter, writer and lifelong learner. I am also a grandmother and the mother of six wonderful sons. I have been exploring the East Coast of Australia on my motorbike.

I am almost ready to release my new book called “Housesitting in Australia – Big Adventure on a Tiny Budget”. It is a story of my transformation from stay at home mother, to a motorbike-riding adventurer.  I am very happy and I want to share that happiness with others.

 *****

Thanks Nikki for this Gutsy change in your life and for sharing your adventures in Housesitting and traveling around Australia. I can think of several people who would love to start a new life, away from the “conventional” life, and this might inspire them.

Sonia

*****

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (NEW VIDEO)

REMEMBER TO VOTE:

Our first poll starts December 1st-December 14th to vote for your favorite “My Gutsy Story” of the month.

Thank you to those who have already submitted your “My Gutsy Story” to Gutsy Living. We  are saving them for future posts and have five sponsors for November. We shall be getting more exciting sponsors in the future.

Please leave your comments and questions for Nikki Ah Wong below, and please share her” My Gutsy Story” with others who need some motivation and inspiration.

“My Gutsy Story” by Lauri Kubuitsile

November 14, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Running is Not for Cowards

By

Lauri Kubuitsile

That day, I got in a stranger’s car and left-forever. It wasn’t a difficult move. In retrospect I guess it was dangerous, I guess some might have said it was reckless. But it was the choice that brought me here, to this point, to this life I have now. The journey started when I was 16. I was running away from home and it was the most important thing I’ve ever done.

Up to that age my life was divided into sections like an orange. There was the bit where my mother was out of the mental hospital and we lived with her. In that bit we lived on welfare and free school lunches, and when her dark days arrived, she kept us in the house with the windows closed and the doors locked until someone noticed and came and saved us.

There was the bit when we stayed with my father, a long distance truck driver who was gone all week, only home on the weekends. On the weekends he’d hire a babysitter. Sometimes she’d last a week or two, sometimes she’d disappear midweek and we’d have to see how to get through until Saturday when my father came back again.

And then there was the last bit. Maybe the most difficult bit. The bit where my father thought marrying one of the babysitters might solve the problem and instead threw us into a real-life fairy tale with the sticking-to-script wicked stepmother but no happily ever after at the end. My father started coughing in August and was dead by March. I realised quickly I needed to make a decision. I knew without a move, I would be sucked in and lost for ever. I wouldn’t let that happen. I had plans for my life.

So that morning I packed my schoolbag with what I could and got on the school bus, but I never went to school that day. I walked to the highway. I got a lift with a stranger, an old man who had to make a stop on the way to feed some cats. A man who asked me many questions about where I was going that I answered with lies he was able to smile about and accept. I got in his car and set off on the journey leading to my life. The one defined by me. I was tired of being the victim of circumstances I didn’t create. I was not born to be a victim.

I think running away gets a lot of bad press.  Don’t listen to all of the Oprah-speak about how you can’t run away from your problems. I’m proof that it’s a lie. You can. I ran and ran again -and here I am, thousands and thousands of miles away from where I started. I live in Botswana, in a quiet village, with my new family, the one created by me. I hesitate to say I’m happy because for me happiness is not a goal, it’s a by-product. A by-product of living your own life, the one specifically designed for you. In that sense, I did find happiness along the road to finding my purpose.

Running is gutsy too. Don’t accept the hype.

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Lauri Kubuitsile is an award winning, full time writer living in Botswana. Her short stories have been published on four continents and she has 14 published works of fiction, primarily for children.  She’s also written six textbooks, two television series and numerous radio scripts. She has twice won first place in Africa’s prize for children’s writing, The Golden Baobab. Most recently she was shortlisted for the 2011 Caine Prize. Her latest books are a YA book, Signed, Hopelessly in Love (Tafelberg, Aug 2011) and a romance novella, Mr Not Quite Good Enough (Sapphire Press, July 2011). She was born in the United States, but is a citizen of Botswana. She’s married with two teenage children. She blogs at Thoughts from Botswana 

*****

Thank you Lauri for sharing this very moving and “Gutsy” part of your life.

As you can see, each story is very different and “Gutsy” in its own way. We shall select one a week and feature it on Monday. Please comment, and the more comments a story receives, the more likely it is to be selected as the “winner” of the month.

At the end of each month, we shall run a poll so everyone can vote for their favorite “My Gutsy Story” of the month.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page.

Thank you to those who have already submitted your “My Gutsy Story” to Gutsy Living. We  are saving them for future posts and have five sponsors for November. We shall be getting more exciting sponsors in the future.

Questions? Comments? Please share, and Lauri will check back to respond.

Join the “My Gutsy Story” contest and sponsor prizes

October 27, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

Every Monday,  we shall feature a short story on “Gutsy Living”  about something Gutsy you have done in your life that either:

  • Changed you.
  • Changed the way you think about something.
  • Made your life take a different direction.

You can check out all the details on the Join the “My Gutsy Story” contest page.

Starting next Monday, we shall feature the first story, so please submit before then if you wish to be considered for the November 2011 prize.

I would like to thank the following 5 sponsors who have kindly offered their services or prizes to the winner of the “My Gutsy Story” contest.

List of Sponsors and prizes for November contest.
  • Marla Miller has kindly offered one Free Quick Query Critique. She is the expert on Query letters whether you are seeking the attention of an agent, a publisher, a magazine editor or if you wish to offer a guest post on a large blog. She will guide you in making your query hook the reader from the start. (Marla has offered her expertise to one winner/month)
Marla Miller "Quick Query Critiques"
  • GM has been generous to offer a Chevy loan vehicle for 3-5 days for one of the winners ( a one-time prize) in the Western Region. The car will be delivered to your home if you live in Los Angeles, San Diego or San Francisco or surrounding areas.

 

Chevy

 

  • Annabel Candy from “Get in the Hot Spot” and “Successful Blogging” is offering a free copy of her wonderful “Successful Blogging in 12 Simple Steps” e-book. It helped me improve my own blog.

 

Annabel Candy
Successful Blogging in 12 Simple Steps
  • Writer’s Digest has offered a one-year free subscription to the winner of “My Gutsy Story.” I love this magazine with so many tips for fiction and non-fiction writers. Thank you so much.
Writer's Digest November/December cover

 

  • Spectrum Specialties and Awards just joined on 11/2/11 with a wonderful prize: 1000 14pt business cards with UV coating, full color process, & double sided print. I am so thrilled as I know they do quality work.

 

Guidelines and how to submit your “My Gutsy Story” are on contest page.

Good luck. Thanks to all our sponsors and future sponsors coming along.

Please share with other writers, and anyone you know who has an exciting  “My Gutsy Story.”

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