Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

Why it’s important to feel important

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The French are a nation of proud people who believe in projecting an image of self-confidence and “importance.” They demonstrate this clearly in the way they dress, and the food they prepare, and yes, I believe my fourteen years of living in Paris have influenced my way of thinking..

Paris from L’Arc de Triomphe

In her book, Almost French, Sarah Turnbull, an Australian author who married a French man and now lives in Paris, offers hilarious examples of the differences between Anglo Saxons and the French. She talks about the fight she had with her French boyfriend, Frédéric, over what to wear to the bakery. Apparently, “le jogging” or “tracksuit pants” were not appropriate for “le boulanger.” After several years, Sarah admits she’s becoming more Parisienne. “The fight was more than four years ago,” she says, “And I haven’t worn tracksuit pants since.”  She claims to have chucked out her shapeless T-shirts and baggy woolly jumpers, which she donated to a local homeless couple, but even they refused to wear them.

So why am I bringing this up? Because I’m a firm believer that making an effort in life, pays off. Just like being disciplined about writing, exercising, teaching, or whatever else you choose, deciding on your image is also important. I’m talking about looking and feeling your best for you, so that you treat yourself as “an important person.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about being arrogant; I’m talking about treating yourself with the respect you deserve.

A while ago, I wrote a post on “What French Women Know; Can We Learn From Them?” which also brought up some interesting cultural differences between French and American women. The author, Debra Ollivier, an American living in Paris said, “Most French women know who they are.”

I discovered that dressing professionally boosts my confidence and helps me treat my writing as a full-time job, even though I write in my kitchen, or at the library. I do it for me.

Now when I stop at my local Peet’s coffee, I often bump into a group of friends and we joke about who’s feeling important today.

What makes you feel important? It can be anything, no matter how big or small.

Kick your blog up a notch, Come to Blog World.

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If you believe that blogging, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn is the future of media, the way we shall communicate and share information with one another from now onwards, you may want to check out BlogWorld, the largest social media conference in the world.

With over 3,000 attendees, 140 educational sessions, not to mention all the gurus of social media, accessible to talk to, so they say, this may be a perfect way to kick your blog up a notch.

You might be thinking, “I’m not interested in selling anything, or branding myself,” however, every blogger is a writer, who shares content for others to read and as such, learning to improve your content, is not such a bad thing. More and more journalists and businesses are turning towards new media.

Presenters such as Mark Burnett, (Producer of the show Survivor) talk about the importance of story-telling. I sent in a video to the Survivor Show in 2001, to become a contestant. (In the video, I bench-pressed my seven-year-old son and pretended to eat a bowl of worms, consisting of Japanese noodles in teriyaki sauce to make them look real in color.) I was so hopeful to be one of the contestants in the Marquesas islands but was not selected. Just had to tell you my story.

Darren Rowse (one of the approachable gurus of blogging) says that attending BlogWorld, helps you shift your mindset so you start taking social media seriously. There are so many bloggers who fly from all over the world to attend this conference, including Annabel Candy from Australia. I told her I’d like to meet her in L.A. in November, as she plans on attending.

Here are some statistics on the BlogWorld website I found very interesting. Especially the third one, over 57 million Americans read blogs, and spend on average 23 hours a week reading them. For all writers, almost 90% of companies say they think blogs will be more important in the next five years.

* Over 12 million American adults currently maintain a blog.
* More than 147 million Americans use the Internet.
* Over 57 million Americans read blogs.
* 1.7 million American adults list making money as one of the reasons they blog.
* 89% of companies surveyed say they think blogs will be more important in the next five years.
* 9% of internet users say they have created blogs.
* 6% of the entire US adult population has created a blog.
* Technorati is currently tracking over 70 million blogs.
* Over 120 thousand blogs are created every day.
* There are over 1.4 million new blog posts every day.
* 22 of the 100 most popular websites in the world are blogs.
* 37% of blog readers began reading blogs in 2005 or 2006.
* 51% of blog readers shop online.
* Blog readers average 23 hours online each week.

So do you think you’d consider attending a BlogWorld conference? Why or why not?
(I know it’s expensive.)

My first TV interview for "Write Now" show

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My first Gutsy interview
For the past week, I’ve been preparing for my first TV interview on the “Write Now” show.
It’s not for ABC, NBC, CBS, or CNN; it’s for local Public Access channels in seven cities.
I was asked to talk about blogging and my book, which I always seem to enjoy promoting without having a copy to show, give away, or sell to my audience. Hopefully that will change one day soon.
Surrounded by two men and a nice lady at the round table above, my first question was, “Why did your family move to Belize? For the next five minutes, which seemed more like one, I was asked about our adventures in Belize and whether we succeeded in accomplishing our goals. We then switched to blogging and “How do you grow your audience?” I had to think quickly about all the notes, books and blog posts I’ve read over the last three years on:
Darren Rowse, Problogger.net,
Brian Clark, Copyblogger.com 
Annabel Candy, SuccessfulBlogging,and so many other blogs.I’m fortunate to enjoy marketing and promotion, so it seemed natural to speak about the importance of branding yourself, and how new writers need to focus on growing their platform, three years before publication.Prior to the show, I studied women on TV. What do they wear?
  • Solid colors or prints?
  • Bright or subdued?
  • Long-sleeves or short?
  • Jewelry or not?
After a week of paying attention, I came up with:Solid colors, bright is in, short sleeves are in, necklaces are out, big earrings are in. Even Oprah, follows this color scheme, except she wears sleeves.I have learned many helpful tips from publicity expert, Marsha Friedman’s book, Celebritize Yourself. She has a chapter on, “How to be a great radio or TV guest (and be quoted in the news!)” I also read about the importance of “authenticity” in Women Seen and Heard by Lois Phillips and Anita Perez Ferguson.

I hope to be able to show you the interview on my blog, once the editing is done, and if I get permission.

Have you been interviewed on radio or TV? If so, what was your experience like?

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Dying is not scary. Don’t postpone your life

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Ric Elias almost died. He was sitting in row 1D when he heard an explosion. The plane filled with smoke and after two minutes, three things happened:

  • The pilot lined the plane with the Hudson river.
  • The pilot turned off the engines, and everything turned eerily quiet.
  • The pilot uttered three words: “Brace for impact.”

This was Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009.
Ric tells us what went through his mind when the doomed plane went down.

  • “I learned that it all changes in an instant,” he says, and because of that, “I no longer want to postpone anything in life. And that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.”
  • “I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter.” Ric realized that it’s not important to be right, but just to be happy. “I’ve not had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great.”
  • “The only thing that matters in my life is being a great dad. Above all, the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.”

One thing Ric said which surprised me is, “Dying is not scary. It’s almost like we’ve been preparing for it our whole lives.” But he admitted he felt very sad.” I didn’t want to go; I love my life.” He continued to say, “I only wish for one thing. I only wish I could see my kids grow up.”

Ric’s 3 important life lessons:

  • Don’t postpone what you want to do in life.
  • Don’t focus on being right, just focus on being happy.
  • Be a great parent to your children. Put your ego and everything else aside.

So I’d like to ask you to reflect and answer Ric’s question:

What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?

Has entitlement gone too far?

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When your child goes to school, does he ask his maid to flush the toilet for him?
Does your child even have a maid? Not in America, or at least not in my circle of friends, but that doesn’t seem to be the case in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

For a family like mine, who left the U.S., in order to instill a new set of values upon our kids and get them away from peer pressures and entitlement attitudes, this seems like a different form of entitlement: almost like going back in time.

In a recent article sent to me by an American blogger friend, Susie, who lives in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, I was shocked by what I read in this article.

Parents send their maids to chaperon their kids to school, and in some cases, these maids wait outside the school to carry the children’s bags and carry there drinks.

According to Samah Bukhary, a teacher at an international school in Jeddah, “Maids are abused and disrespected when they are made to do everyday chores children can do themselves.” Besides, how can kids learn to do anything on their own, and function in society, if their maid does everything for them?

While some mothers claim that they send their maids for “safety” reasons to chaperon their kids to school, other claim the kids are spoiled, as there are other kids in school, who do not have maids.

I asked Susie, “Where do these maids come from?” and she replied, “they are mainly from places like Indonesia, Philippines, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.” She continued to say that this has been going on for decades,(since the oil boom, probably starting in the 1960’s) and apparently is only getting worse.

So with many kids being raised by maids rather than parents, what is going to happen to these kids who are not taught to be responsible for themselves? Thankfully, we do not have this problem in the U.S., or do we?

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