Ric Elias almost died. He was sitting in row 1D when he heard an explosion. The plane filled with smoke and after two minutes, three things happened:
- The pilot lined the plane with the Hudson river.
- The pilot turned off the engines, and everything turned eerily quiet.
- The pilot uttered three words: “Brace for impact.”
This was Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009.
Ric tells us what went through his mind when the doomed plane went down.
- “I learned that it all changes in an instant,” he says, and because of that, “I no longer want to postpone anything in life. And that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.”
- “I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter.” Ric realized that it’s not important to be right, but just to be happy. “I’ve not had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great.”
- “The only thing that matters in my life is being a great dad. Above all, the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.”
One thing Ric said which surprised me is, “Dying is not scary. It’s almost like we’ve been preparing for it our whole lives.” But he admitted he felt very sad.” I didn’t want to go; I love my life.” He continued to say, “I only wish for one thing. I only wish I could see my kids grow up.”
Ric’s 3 important life lessons:
- Don’t postpone what you want to do in life.
- Don’t focus on being right, just focus on being happy.
- Be a great parent to your children. Put your ego and everything else aside.
So I’d like to ask you to reflect and answer Ric’s question:
What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?
Take a trip around the world with my family..not possible though since I need to work..
Gosh – that's a tough question!
I try to focus on being aware every day – and not try to spend my time wishing for something else (even though I do, of course)…
I guess if I knew I were really going soon, I'd stop work and pull the kids from school and spend all my time with them.
1. Take a road trip with my kids.
2. Finish up my degree.
3. Learn to dance the Tango.
Wow, Sonia. I loved this talk! Thanks for posting it. I'm wiping away the tears. I sent it to my new-dad son. And it confirms the decision I've made to focus on being rather than doing for my last stage of life.
@Anonymous
There are always options. I don't know how old your children are and how much you want to travel in luxury, or more as adventure seekers, but many blogs I follow, such as Chris Guillebeau's AONC (Art of Non-Conformity) talk about ways to make this happen. Another blog I follow is, "1yearsabbatical.com" which I posted about, and he's a young dad, quitting his job to travel with his wife and kids in June 2011,for one year. Online businesses, etc., renting your house out, swapping houses in different countries, are ways to cut costs. I'm attending the AONC conference in June 2011, and you just gave me a great idea to write about. Thanks, and please contact me if you want more info. Sonia.
Quit my job and write full time.
If I die before I've tried to become a "real" writer I will definetly be pissed at myself.
Why I don't? Well, lets call it economical responisbility towards my family.
Dying is quite natural so why dread it ? Fear of death takes away from living life.
@ladyfi
Great answer, as I think most of must focus on what we have; not what we don't have.
@noexcuses
So what are your excuses? Couldn't resist that one.
@Shirley
Congratulations on your son's new baby. Glad it made an impact. Thanks,
@Desiree
I'm curious what your definition of "real" writer is. You blog, you're a real writer. You're published online.
@Paul
Very well said. Thanks for visiting my blog.
@GutsyWriter
Well, I guess "real" for fulltime writers only is not doing justice to every writer doing a splendid job but not having it as a living.
It was a clumsy shortcut for describing the dream I have of being able to plan my time and HAVE time to write.
I'm a full time writer, one of my dreams, but I want to write for a year only exactly what I want to write with no limit on it, no reader or market in my head.
It's nice to know that when the time comes it's not scary I hope it won't be for me.
Sonia I love this! I'm going to spread it around because everyone needs to take a moment and consider this possibility.
11 years ago as my car was spinning in mid air before landing on the Garden State Parkway I had a calm voice in my head saying, "You're going to be fine, you're going to be fine." It was eery.
I was bruised and had a broken arm but essentially walked away. I think I have lived with great purpose since then and try to live every day to the max. Why else would I be spared?
Great post!
I know several people who cannot retire because their identity is caught up in what they do for a living. My work was never my god; my career was unremarkable, but my life and relationships are.
Just to clarify… the summer cottage is a weekend retreat. We will probably be spending more time (and nights) there during the summer holidays. (It's too far from Stockholm to commute really.)
What a great post and advice. A long time ago I read the book, CELEBRATE THE TEMPORARY by Clyde Reid. Basically all things are temporary so be in touch with yourself and your life. Contemplate your death often to realize your life and make it count.
I can relate to Ric's thoughts. When that happened to me, all I could think about was about what would happen to my kids. I was 32.
I can also remember feeling very calm, almost blessed, as if I'd be stepping into a safe haven.
Many years later, I see death more like leaving one adventure (life) and going on into another. But while I'm here, I intend to make the most of the years left to me, and fulfill my greatest dream/ambition – to publish my books, and write a few more still inside me.
Thanks for this great post Sonia. It's a good reminder to all of us!
Larry
I value every moment I'm fortunate to have, since I've had my share of 'close calls'.
I've eliminated unnecessary griping about the small stuff, enjoying my family while I still have them at home with me.