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“My Gutsy Story®”Jan Marshall

August 26, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 19 Comments

Touched by an Angel in an Inappropriate Place

IN THE BEGINNING, they claimed they never promised us a rose garden. Never said there wasn’t one, so I assumed I’d wake up and bees would be a buzzin’.

Then someone up there, said, “Hey lady, wanna learn some great lessons?” Before I could answer, like everyone else in some manner, I endured grief, disappointments, illness including cancer and, more recently, brain surgery, plus some bad fish.

Fortunately, I have a congenital condition known as Opticockyitis, named after the doctor who diagnosed it in a cocker spaniel. It’s an affliction causing me to observe most situations a bit off center. Can’t help myself. It is like being born with a Whoopee cushion in my head. Whenever I was dealt a major blow in life, and after I finished crying, moaning, and complaining, my ability to observe the moment with this unusual perspective saved my life, according to my physicians.

But I have a confession to make. After first being touched by an angel in an inappropriate place, I was shocked. “Not me, not cancer.” I had mammograms every year, ate well, jogged, practiced yoga, laughed and made love frequently (sometimes at the same time — talk about multi-tasking or ADD) so, of course, I had to be immune.

As a motivational seminar leader, teaching about the connection between mind and body, stressing humor was an important element. In my workshops I taught that increasing the laughter in one’s life is essential to one’s wellbeing. I was a newspaper humor columnist and an author of funny survival books. I was founder of the International Humor & Healing Institute and a Certified Master Clinical Hypnotherapist. How could this have happened?

No one in my family had cancer. I did not fit any statistics: oh yeah, except the part about early detection. My trusted radiologist made a major error: He hadn’t noticed the cancer during the last few mammograms in the fourteen years he was my doctor. OOPS!

The situation became worse with every decision. Before the cancer and lousy chemotherapy, I was a healthy lady. Cancer can make you sick; not the illness itself, but the treatment. Years ago, though not now, receiving chemotherapy was like dropping a bomb to catch a fly; killing the insect, but affecting so much more.

I believe in fifty years we will think that placing toxins in our bodies is barbaric.

People will say, “You’re kidding. Do you mean in the twentieth century when people had a severe illness, they removed the part with the problem and then they pumped your body full of crap? EEEW!’

When told I needed a biopsy I asked if it mattered if I waited a couple of weeks. I had a scheduled speaking engagement in Washington, DC, plus a meeting with Patch Adams, that remarkable physician who uses humor in dealing with his patients and dreamed of building a free hospital.

We shared information. I told him about my plan for placing humor/healing rooms in hospitals to start, then corporations and schools.

I had designed rooms to promote healing by inducing positive emotions in a hospital setting in addition to other medical therapies. It was intended to prevent burnout among staff and as a pleasant waiting section for visitors. By placing specific areas with healing colors, soothing sound, ergonomically designed furniture and humor from every medium, enlightened physicians could write a prescription for the patient to spend time in the Humor Room just as they would prescribe any other physical therapy.

The first place was to be the “Steve Allen Humor Room.” Steve had become a dear friend and supporter after he appeared on my television show, and I was a frequent guest on his syndicated WNEW radio program. He was a kind, brilliant and funny man.

The doctor said it would be OK to take my trip if I agreed not to wait more than those two weeks. I took healing tapes to play in my hotel room as well as books and soothing meditations. I knew I’d be OK. I have always believed in the power of prayer and the kindness of strangers. “Not so fast,” Grandma used to say, “Man plans. God laughs hysterically.

It was cancer. It had spread to lymph nodes.

I had chemotherapy and, much later, brain tumor surgery. When my hair grew back an inch, just for fun my caregiver dyed it blonde for two days.

I looked like rocker Eminem, cursed, and grabbed my crotch a lot. I let it grow back auburn.

I was no longer recognizable to myself. I cried in the shower every day. After the screams and unending tears, a new plan was necessary: to do what always helped me before, which was to get out of me and assist others.

I had done that when Steve Allen died suddenly and my grief was so enormous that I gave up dreams of installing Humor Rooms.

Whenever I am in a funk, what often helps me (besides music or funny films) is helping someone else out of his or her distress.

So I presented university programs regarding the benefits of humor in business, which were voted the best for three years in a row, and I shared healing techniques with doctors, nurses, and technicians at clinics, hospitals and major corporations.

But the two actions that proved most helpful to me were: 1) forming “Jan’s Army” and awarding badges of heroism to other survivors And 2) keeping notes and seeking out the humor in daily hassles, such as dealing with new technology, internet dating, and more; then turning them into newspaper columns and books, the most recent: “Dancin’, Schmancin’ with the Scars: Finding the Humor No Matter What! *Dancin’ is code for anything pleasurable.

It is dedicated to veterans, cancer and brain tumor survivors and regular people simply dealing with “stuff.” Most important, it includes tips and techniques for living joyfully, even when going through a rough patch.

I’m still “dancin’ ” as are all you gutsy people, even though your very own scars may not be visible. Cheers to you!

Jan Marshall Book NewDancingWithScarsFront — Click on cover to go to Amazon

Jan Marshall Bio: The cheeky very seasoned Humorologist, Jan Marshall, is author of satirical survival books; her most recent, “DANCIN, SCHMANCIN with the SCARS: Finding the Humor No Matter What!” available through Amazon and on ebook devices. Newspaper columnist and media humorist, Jan hosted her own television series and is a national speaker and consultant.

The International Humor & Healing Institute which she founded in 1986, included among other board members, Norman Cousins, Dr. Bernie Siegel, John Cleese and Steve Allen. Jan is a Certified Master Clinical Hypnotherapist. “Jan’s Army” distributed badges to heroes enduring the battle of cancer. Please visit Jan’s website.

Please visit Jan’s website

Twitter: @JanMarshmellow

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JanMarshallAuthor

Link to purchase Jan’s Book on Amazon.

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Jan, you are one “Gutsy” lady to have overcome obstacles in your life, through humor and helping others. I think you offer a different perspective and admire what you do when you find yourself in a “funk, to do what always helped me before, which was to get out of me and assist others.”

Please mark your calendar for the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” Event on 9-26, where we launch our First “My Gutsy Story®”Anthology Book. During September we shall focus on the event and other posts and October 7th, we shall post Joe Weddington’s inspiring story.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August, Suellen Zima is second and Terri Elders is our third author of the month.

VOTING for your favorite August “My Gutsy Story®”, starts this Thursday, August 29th, and ends on September 11th. The winner will be announced on September 12th.

A Gutsy Pubslush Campaign

August 22, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

http://GutsyLiving.pubslush.com — Click on Photo to see my Pubslush Campaign

Asking for help is not easy, especially for someone like me who believes that I should be able to do everything myself.

I admit, I cannot do it all alone, and so I’m asking you for your support.

By support I mean:

Anything you can to support and spread my Pubslush campaign to the world

I made a short video with 8 super “Gutsy” people which explains the campaign, and the rewards are listed on my Pubslush page.

The link is : www.GutsyLiving.Pubslush.com

I admit this is the first event I’ve put together and I want to do it RIGHT.

You see, I feel a great deal of responsibility towards my fellow authors (64 of them) who have contributed their “My Gutsy Story®” to the launch of our first: My Gutsy Story® Anthology: True Stories of Love, Courage and Adventure from Around the World

In order to make the our September 26th, “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” Anthology launch a huge success:

I need your help in spreading the news, and supporting the event, and there are “Gutsy” rewards based on your help.

We have a professional film company to film our panel of “Gutsy People” and wish to share the video after the event.
We have a famous keynote speaker, Marybeth Bond, the Gutsy Traveler.
A professional photographer will take photos of people attending our event and those will be shared.
We are renting a movie the Regency South Coast Village Movie theater.
We have refreshments and a no host bar.
We are donating part of proceeds to WomanSage, a non-profit that helps women in transition, and I feel this is a great cause to support.

If you have any questions, please contact me at sonia@soniamarsh. com

I was interviewed by Maria Hall Brown on local PBS SoCal TV “Real Orange” yesterday and mentioned the event. It shall air tonight on PBS SoCal around 5:20-5:25 pm PDT. Please check out your local channels listing.

Maria Hall Brown PBS SoCal- "Real Orange" and Sonia after my interview. — Maria Hall Brown PBS SoCal- “Real Orange” and Sonia after my interview.

Here are more photos from the studio yesterday. So much fun.

***

I’m at Costco in Irvine, hope to see you on August 24th, from 11 am-2 pm (MAP)

Book signing of my memoir: Freeways to Flip-Flops.

115 Technology Drive,

Irvine, CA 92618

Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community?

We need your help. Please nominate a “Gutsy” person in one of the following locations.

Orange County
San Diego
Los Angeles

Send us the name, and a 200 word max. e-mail about why this person is “Gutsy.”

E-mail us at: gutsyanthology@gmail.com

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August, Suellen Zima is second and Terri Elders is our third author of the month.

“My Gutsy Story®” Terri Elders

August 19, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 38 Comments

A Happy Heart

“So what do you do?”

In the ‘70s when strangers at parties asked this, I could have fudged…just say I worked for the county, and leave it at that. Instead I’d provide a flat-out conversation-stopper.

“I’m the psychiatric social worker for MacLaren Hall’s nursery,” I’d answer. “That’s where neglected and abused kids await court disposition. I do play therapy with the toddlers, and try to get help for their abusing parents.”

I’d smile and wait. People usually inched away, as if I’d confided that I ran pigeon drop scams on senior citizens. Or that I might be contagious.

During the ensuing silence, I’d watch eyes glaze and jaws drop.

“Oh,” they’d sputter, “I couldn’t do that.” They’d nod and sidle off in search of someone with a more socially redeeming occupation.

Burnout rates soar in my profession. Social workers, like police, rarely get thanked. Instead, they’re criticized by the very people they strive to aid, and vilified by the press and the general public for not doing enough.

I didn’t expect accolades, parades, or even sympathetic ears from strangers at parties. Nobody wants to hear about babies who’ve been abandoned in garbage bins or children who’d been tortured. I understood that, so I didn’t tell horror stories.

If anybody stuck around long enough, I could relate sunny tales. Many addicted parents I’d counseled successfully completed rehab, found jobs, and visited their children who were in foster care. I could mention the four-year-old voluntary mute who spoke again as we manipulated finger puppets.

In earlier days, my husband, Bob, a policeman, listened patiently when I vented. With an equally stress-filled job, he empathized. Over the years, though, he’d sought relief in vodka, eventually spiraling downwards into alcoholism. He’d been in several out-patient programs, and on and off the wagon, but nothing took. I’d occasionally think of divorce, but I’d shove that troubling notion aside. He needs me, I’d convince myself.

Not long before I started at MacLaren, Bob entered an in-patient program. This one worked. With a commitment to sobriety, he no longer was around to give me emotional support. He spent every free minute in Twelve Step meetings and hospital aftercare programs.

I needed to find support elsewhere. I recognized that some of my colleagues already suffered from compassion fatigue, burnout, and depression. Some coped by eating compulsively or relying on tranquillizers. I wanted to continue with my job, but certainly didn’t want to pack on unneeded pounds, float through my days like a zombie, or eventually be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

I started to frequent an art gallery that published a magazine. I wrote articles for it, and made friends who were artists, photographers and poets. I enrolled in an aerobic dance class, and lost myself in choreographed routines, pretending to be a Broadway chorine.

Despite these distractions, my marriage continued to unravel. One day, toweling off after a particularly invigorating aerobics session, I noticed my heartbeat seemed to stutter. By the time I got dressed, it beat normally again. I forgot about it until one day at work when I broke out in a cold sweat. The stutter had returned.

I saw my doctor, who gave me an electrocardiogram test.

“You’re experiencing premature ventricular contractions, commonly called PVCs,” she explained. “It’s not dangerous yet, but it could be. What’s going on in your life?”

“My husband and I may be headed for divorce,” I confessed. “I worry about that, and about the children I work with. I try to take care of myself. I go to aerobics three times a week, but drink a lot of coffee.”

“Caffeine, too much exercise, a high stress job, plus anxiety over your marriage, all could be contributing factors,” she said. “The sooner you make decisions, the better you’ll be. Not knowing one way or another how a marriage or a job will work out adds to your stress. Rid yourself of uncertainty. Don’t be afraid to take the first step.”

Bob resented my new activities, preferring that I devote my free time to accompanying him to recovery meetings. Delighted with his progress, I still didn’t want my life to revolve around his sobriety, as it had around his drinking. I wanted to write and dance.

That issue resolved itself after Bob confessed he’d fallen in love with one of his outpatient counselors. We agreed to separate.

I continued working at MacLaren through one administrative upheaval after another. I’d think about leaving for a job with more regular hours, one that wouldn’t require me to work on Sundays. But I’d remember the children. They need me, I reasoned.

Then one afternoon, after I learned that my play therapy room would be converted into an additional dormitory, I felt my heart skip a beat again.

The arrhythmia was back, but this time I knew what to do. Not burned out yet, but I scented smoke. Even though I’d invested 15 years in county employment, a future retirement pension wouldn’t keep my heart healthy today.

I updated my resume, sent out applications and within months landed a new job in the private sector with an HMO. Not perfect, but a change. And my happier heart calmed down permanently.

It’s been over 25 years now since I’ve experienced any arrhythmia. It’s not as if I’ve lead a stress-free life. I’ve worked overseas with Peace Corps and held other demanding jobs. I remarried and saw my second husband through a long series of illnesses and eventual hospice care.

I do the routine things: keep caffeine to a minimum, exercise reasonably, and get enough sleep.

But my real secret is that I don’t remain immersed in uncertainty. I don’t allow myself to feel trapped by the perceived needs of others. I seek a way to take that first step. After all, I need my heart to live. I owe myself good health.

Now when people ask me what I do, I have a favorite response. It raises eyebrows.

“I keep a happy heart,” I say.

TERRI ELDERS, LCSW, lives near Colville, WA, with two dogs and three cats. A lifelong writer and editor, Terri’s stories have appeared in dozens of periodicals and anthologies, including multiple editions of Not Your Mother’s Book, Dream of Things, Chicken Soup for the Soul, A Cup of Comfort, Patchwork Path, Thin Threads, Tending Your Inner Garden and God Makes Lemonade. She is the in-house copy editor for Publishing Syndicate, and co-creator of its anthology, Not Your Mother’s Book: On Travel. She blogs at http://atouchoftarragon.blogspot.com/.

Please visit Terri’s blog.

Please (like) Terri Elders on Facebook

Terri Elders Book Cover — Click on book to view on Amazon

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Your strength and determination to keep yourself “in balance” despite your demanding job and the pressures in your marriage, are admirable. I am a curious person and would love to have asked you more about your profession, had we met during a social occasion. I was touched by your statement, “Social workers, like police, rarely get thanked.” So I’d like to thank you for all your years of helping neglected and abused children.

An Exciting Pubslush Campaign and Video

I’m starting a Pubslush campaign for the launch Event on September 26th of our first:

My Gutsy Story® Anthology: Real Stories of Love, Courage and Adventure from Around the World.

MGS FINAL COVER Small — Click on book to see video

There are many exciting rewards. Please WATCH the VIDEO I made with 8 Gutsy people in it.

I am grateful for any level of support and please make sure you share the link (http://GutsyLiving.pubslush.com) with all your friends, followers and more. ENJOY!

Winner of the July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” Contest

August 15, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

I am thrilled to announce Sharon Leaf as the winner of the July 2013, “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology series.

Congratulations Sharon for a wonderful story of courage and faith, and not letting fear rule you.

In a very close 2nd place is, Patti Hall.

Patti wrote an inspiring story about how her personal tragedy brought her passion for writing back into her life.

In 3rd place, we have another amazing story by Destiny Allison.

Destiny is the perfect example of a “Gutsy” woman who was able to turn her love for sculpting into a profitable business as a single mother to support her family.

In 4th place, Liz Burgess, shares her story of “letting go” and how we need to find the courage to do this.

Liz Burgess

In 5th place we have the amazing story by Donald Dempsey about a father’s love for his son and how he would change his life after having years of abuse by his own mother.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our August stories have started with Janet Givens and Sue Ellen Zima sharing their “My Gutsy Story®.” Next Monday, Terri Elders will share her story.

***

Come back next Thursday for some exciting news about a new PUBSLUSH campaign and VIDEO for our September 26th, “My Gutsy Story®” event.

“My Gutsy Story®” Suellen Zima

August 12, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 13 Comments

A Hummingbird Life

Unexpectedly, but very clearly, I heard myself thinking, “I know what the next 20 years of my life will be like.” Immediately, and also very clearly, I heard, “But I don’t want to know what the next 20 years of my life will be like.” That realization didn’t make much sense to me since I was living the life I had always wanted to live. I was in my mid-30s, happily married to my high school sweetheart, full time mom to a healthy son, doing meaningful volunteer work, and all was well – wasn’t it?

I had lived a mostly traditional lifestyle, except for consciously choosing to adopt rather than having a biological child. I had been a foster care social worker, so it made more sense to me to take a child without a family rather than create another child. We were white, and our son was black. We were a somewhat unusual family, but a happy one.

About the only thing my husband and I disagreed about was how long to go away on vacations. I loved traveling in a way he didn’t. I wanted to go longer, and farther away. While my son was still a toddler, although I had no intention of ever doing so, I signed up for a community college short course called “Traveling Alone As A Woman.” What I remembered most from that short course was seeing a woman who had done such a thing. A visiting guest from Israel casually mentioned that it was possible to be a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel. I felt a shiver of excitement.

Something deep, powerful, and unrelenting inside kept pushing me out of the cozy confines of the life my husband and I had created together until, by the age of 37, I had destroyed what I had spent so many years building. Our 12-year-old son, unable to feel secure with the mother I had become, chose to stay with his dad when I moved away. In the summer break from getting a Master’s degree in Social Work, I finally got to see Israel for the first time as a volunteer on a kibbutz. I was the oldest volunteer there. In 1983, at 40, I started life as an immigrant in a new land, with a new language to learn, and a new culture to decipher.

I also had chosen a new name for myself – one I fashioned from a Swahili word that incorporated my pain at leaving the husband I loved, and my hope for the future. Unfortunately, I found out when I moved to Israel that it was, coincidentally, a very bad word in Hebrew.

Five years later, when my savings were down to $5,000, I thought, “I need to go around the world before I run out of money.” Simple curiosity made China a priority. What I didn’t expect was that China’s complicated society would intrigue and magnetize me for the rest of my life.

I found that the hummingbird and I shared several characteristics. We both plant our feet firmly in mid-air, hover, drink deeply, and then flit away. We are very independent creatures who live life quickly and intensely. If someone tries to hold us, we will die. But we can fly backwards as well as forwards at will.

I was content and, indeed, often elated living as a hummingbird throughout the world for over 16 years. Continuous new experiences challenged me. Although there were many discomforts and inconveniences, especially in third world China, I knew I tired of the “known” much more than the “unknown.” From my first teaching job in China, found by knocking on doors and saying, “Hi, I’d like to teach English,” I knew I’d found my happiest career.

My journeys were geographical, but also explorations into deeply personal, emotional, and cultural dimensions. There were many truly magical moments of serendipity along the way, as well as pure luck. I am grateful I found what my soul craved. I don’t have to say, “I wish I had ..”

I discovered the parts that made me whole – my personality was American, my homeland was Israel, my heart was in China, and my spirit was in Bali. I turned into a sculptor of sorts, able to carve out niches for myself wherever I went. I was at home being housemother in an Israeli boarding school to newly arrived Ethiopian Jewish teenage immigrants, then living and working in an Israeli-Arab town trying to promote mutual respect between Israeli Arabs and Israeli Jews. I loved the adventure of finding teaching jobs in China, Taiwan, Macau, Bali, and Korea that allowed me inside the cultures.

From inside China, I saw the tumultuous changes in the lives of my students over more than two decades. By continually nurturing the relationships I made with my students through frequent letters and visits, I stayed in their lives and they remain my friends today. Six of my students asked me to be the honorary grandmother to their children. Being in their children’s lives as they grow up has been a continuing joy in my life.

The journals I kept as my constant traveling companions turned into my first book, “Memoirs of a Middle-aged Hummingbird,” published in 2006. The book is the link with that life that can never die.

My son never forgave me for leaving the family, and often refused any contact with me. However, he did re-establish contact when he knew he was dying of AIDS. He died in 2003. I recently published “Out of Step: A Diary To My Dead Son.” I have to live with a lingering guilt for having left my husband and son, but my nomadic years traveling solo to unusual nooks and crannies in the world were undoubtedly the most fulfilling years of my life.

I am now a more settled senior hummingbird who only sometimes wanders, still wonders, and often writes.

SUELLEN ZIMA: One lucky Friday the 13th began the unusual journeys of my life as wife, mother, social worker, world explorer, English teacher, and author. My journals captured the details of my travels, published in “Memoirs of a Middle-aged Hummingbird.”

The need to make my dead son come more alive to me became a diary. “Out of Step: A Diary To My Dead Son,” attempts to repair our damaged relationship by interweaving past and present, interracial adoption in the 1970s, divorce and guilt, HIV-AIDS, homosexuality, and one mother-son relationship.

I continue to wander, wonder, and blog as The Senior Hummingbird. You can find both books on Suellen’s Website.

Please join Suellen on Facebook. Also on Twitter: @SuellenZima

Suellen Zima Book cover — Click to go to Amazon

suellen zima 2nd book — Click to go to Amazon Kindle

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Suellen, I think you are such a courageous person to share your story and the guilt of “abandoning” your family as well as being true to yourself. I understand your “hummingbird” desires to explore and experience as much as you can in life. I hope to see you at our September 26th event and meet Marybeth Bond, the “Gutsy Traveler.”

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”

(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)

The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August.

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“My Gutsy Story®”Jan Marshall

Please mark your calendar for the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” Event on 9-26, where we launch our First “My Gutsy Story®”Anthology Book. During September we shall focus on the event and other posts and October 7th, we shall post Joe Weddington’s inspiring story.

A Gutsy Pubslush Campaign

Anything you can to support and spread my Pubslush campaign to the world

I need your help in spreading the news, and supporting the event, and there are “Gutsy” rewards based on your help.

Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community?

“My Gutsy Story®” Terri Elders

An Exciting Pubslush Campaign and Video

Winner of the July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” Contest

Come back next Thursday for some exciting news about a new PUBSLUSH campaign and VIDEO for our September 26th, “My Gutsy Story®” event.

“My Gutsy Story®” Suellen Zima

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