Welcome to Our New 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” Series
“Giving Up the Illusion of Control”
“Can’t we just sail around the world now, instead of waiting until we’re retired?”
My story begins with that simple question to my husband Tom, posed on a snowy February night in 1985.
The answer seemed an obvious “no.” At age 40, we both had successful careers in high finance. My success was all the more significant as a woman in what was still very much a man’s world. Abandoning the career I’d worked so hard to build seemed crazy. After five years at sea, I’d be approaching 45 and totally out of touch with the ever-innovative financial markets. The odds of getting back into that competitive world would be perilously small.
But something didn’t feel right. Tom and I both worked long hours, week in and week out. We had no time to enjoy the fruits of our success. Life seemed to passing us by.
And so, Tom and I held hands and jumped off the corporate ladder. Barely seven months later, we headed out of New York Harbor on a 37-foot sailboat en route to the rest of the world.
Almost nothing on that voyage worked out as planned. But what I learned, as I recounted in Sailing Down the Moonbeam, is that sailing is a metaphor for life. The route is not well marked. You can’t control your environment. All too often, you end up somewhere other than where you intended to go. As Ted Turner famously noted, there’s no point in worrying about the wind; the only thing you can do is adjust your sails.
It was a lesson I learned early in the voyage, and it changed my life almost at once. But the way that lesson applied to my career was not apparent until years after the voyage ended. That is the story I will share here.
I began my professional life as a researcher and problem solver for companies with financial exposure to interest rates, currencies and commodity prices. I loved the work, which appealed to my analytical nature. It seems I was good at it and I moved steadily up the corporate ladder. But with each move, I was spending more time managing people and their schedules, and less time doing what gave me a sense of satisfaction. A nagging concern about my ability to master the job I’d been promoted into—I hated routine and didn’t think I was a very good people manager—was a significant factor in my decision to leave on that sailboat.
At the time, I felt I was running away from a looming sense of failure. But as the analogy between sailing and real life began to rise to my consciousness, it struck me that during those last few years in New York, I’d been trying to control the metaphorical wind … trying to make my career go in a direction that my introverted, analytical persona was not designed to go.
With the realization came an understanding of what I wanted, what I was willing to do— when and if I returned to the work-a-day world. I liked research and problem solving. I didn’t like jobs with routine and repetition. I didn’t want to manage people. I didn’t want to waste energy trying to be good at what other people thought I should do.
With that insight came another. Fancy titles and big salaries mattered far less to me than having an interesting job in which I could continue to learn and grow. As I thought back over my career, the jobs I had loved most had constant variety with little or no managerial routines, as well as the opportunity to learn even as I used my analytical skills to help others. It was the classic consultant role.
It was easy enough, sitting on the deck of my sailboat, to say what I wanted. But what if the world didn’t care what I wanted?
And for a time, it seemed the world didn’t care. When I did go back to work, I started out as a mid-level financial consultant in Auckland, New Zealand, much lower in the pecking order than I’d been when I left New York. Within four years, however, I was running the financial risk management practice for Peat Marwick in Australia. In 1994, Arthur Anderson recruited me to return to New York. In 2000, I was appointed Chief Financial Officer of one of the twelve Federal Home Loan Banks.
Although I didn’t seek them out, promotions and handsome salaries came my way. It was like being paid to go to school. It seems that what mattered was not being good at everything, but focusing my energy and attention on doing what I loved and was good at.
With the benefit of hindsight, a career decision that initially looked like a “gutsy” thing to do seems to have been the safer course of action. In New York, every rung on the corporate ladder is a stop on the road to somewhere above. If you don’t move up, you’ll get pushed off. I have no doubt that, had I stayed on that management track in New York, I would eventually have been pushed off by someone who loved managing people in a way that I did not.
My point is not just that I took a risk and it worked out. My point is also that doing what is expected, following the conventional path may, in reality, be the riskiest choice of all. We all know people who stayed in jobs they didn’t enjoy just because they thought the job was safe—and lost their jobs in the last recession.
I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t gone sailing. Would I have stayed in a miserable job? Perhaps not. But if all I did was change jobs in the competitive, high pressure world of New York, I would not have learned the lesson I absorbed as I crossed the Pacific Ocean … that you can’t control your environment … that you can only control how you respond to it. Given that reality, you might as well spend your time doing what you love.
Go for it!
***
Mary Gottschalk Bio:
Mary has made a career out of changing careers. After finishing graduate school, she spent nearly thirty years in the financial markets, as an economist, a banker and a consultant. Her work took her to New York, New Zealand, Australia, Central America, Europe, and amazingly, Des Moines, Iowa.
Along the way, she dropped out several times. In the mid-1980’s, Mary and her husband Tom embarked on the round-the-world sailing voyage that is the subject of her memoir, Sailing Down the Moonbeam. Several times, she left finance to provide financial and strategic planning services to the nonprofit community, both in New York and Des Moines.
In her latest incarnation, she is working on a novel, writing for The Iowan magazine, and lecturing on the subject of personal risk.
Mary has two websites which you can view here and here.
Please join her on Twitter and Facebook, and her memoir, Sailing Down the Moonbeam is available on Amazon.
Sonia Marsh Says:
“Abandoning the career I’d worked so hard to build seemed crazy,”
and yet, this is what you did. I find it amazing that stepping out of the corporate world into a world where nature is your boss, can give you clarity, and make you realize what’s important in life. You state the message you learned with such clarity:
“that you can’t control your environment … that you can only control how you respond to it. Given that reality, you might as well spend your time doing what you love.”
Many of us need to hear your message to get the courage to take a risk, rather than staying in a situation we’re not happy with.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
A great gutsy story.
An Arkies Musings
Richard Lawry recently posted..William Rainey Photography Show
Thanks from a fellow lover of Peanuts!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Mary, I read your book and loved it, as well as the details about your career that you’re sharing here on Sonia’s wonderful blog. Also, a great quote from Ted Turner – don’t we all strain against the wind sometimes? I recall another saying from a guru: “What you resist will persist.” The trick is to approach our adventures with an open mind; it’s not always easy, but I’m, thankfully, much more aware of that principle these days.
Belinda … that’s high praise from someone who is probably made an even gutsier decision than I did as you tell so eloquently in your book. I guess the Turner quote appeals to me so much because it’s one I have to remind myself of with every day. I’ve got the principle down pat, but the day-to-day practice is a bit harder. Maybe I’ll get there someday
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Mary, What a fascinating journey you have had. You write with a clarity that resonates at every juncture and strikes at a universal theme that many of us have experienced in our professional lives- staying in a job that doesn’t fit, for all the wrong reasons. I love how you defied convention and sailed off that corporate ladder. I am looking forward to reading your memoir. Thank you for sharing your very “gutsy”story.
Kathleen Pooler recently posted..Hope Matters: A Memoir Moment
Again, Kathleen, I take it as high praise from someone who knows firsthand what it takes to make a gutsy decision. I find so much inspiration in what I have read of yours so far.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Wonderful writing and wonderful story, Mary. I can relate. I jumped off the corporate ladder early on as well and never looked back. Being in control of our lives is the key. Thank you.
Hi Madeleine … I would love to know the story of how you came to “jump off” but it seems you have a lot of other skills. Your book on your son is on my TBR pile … I spent several years in NYC working with an agency that provides housing and support services for the mentally ill, so I know how difficult it can be to deal with.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Thanks to all of you for leaving a comment for Mary. I love her message of not being able to control your environment, but how you respond to it. I have a friend in a very sad situation right now, and Mary’s message it so appropriate, even as it relates to family issues.
Sonia … thanks so much for letting me be your “first” gutsy story of 2013. It is a privilege indeed, and I can’t wait to meet you in California in February!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Mary, I can easily relate to your story in many ways. I know how hard it must have been for you and Tom to override what your brains were telling you about your careers, in order to follow your hearts instead.
Although our big adventure started much earlier than yours (1955-1961)and mode of travel was different, it did incorporate a lot of unpredictable events and on-the-spot changes we had to respond to.
Just a note: One of our adventures included a trip from Tahiti through the Panama Canal on a two-week voyage across the Pacific, going fourth class steerage aboard a French Ship. Although it was a challange, it wouldn’t begin to meet the challanges you had to deal with.
I noticed that right above your comments, Sonia has entered under “related posts”, my short story. I hope you have time to read it.
Mary so good to hear from you again. I’m curious to hear whether you are back on track with your memoir? I know you took a break, but hope 2013 motivates you to keep writing.
Happy NewYear. Hersh would want you to finish it. Please let me know. Sonia.
Mary … I did read your story, and loved it …. I see you as a kindred soul, and I share your philosophy: “Take advantage of your opportunities, follow your passions, and never stop learning.” That is as important to me today as it was in 1985. On another note, I just came back from trekking in Nepal with Above & Beyond Cancer. I blogged about it from July through November of 2012. It might trigger some old memories.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Giving Up the Illusion of Control
Mary, your story is so moving and inspiring and helps me embrace a life other than what is planned or expected. This line stuck with me the most: “My point is also that doing what is expected, following the conventional path may, in reality, be the riskiest choice of all.” Thank you for sharing your gutsy story.
Thanks C.S. It scares me sometimes to think how how badly my life might have turned out if I hadn’t stepped out of the N.Y. rat trace when I did. The city is an exhilarating place to be when you’re young and learning, but it can be brutal to those who can’t keep up … and I suspect I wouldn’t have been able to do it for too much longer. Maybe it’s the big fish/small pond issue! But better to know which pond you belong in than be eaten alive in one that’s too big!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
I never followed a corporate path because my husband did and it took us all over the place. I learned while dabbling in different creative endeavors that I would have never made it in a corporate environment. It’s totally against my nature.
I think what you were able to do and what you learned from it was very gutsy.
b
Barbara recently posted..Can We Afford to Live 100 Years?
Thanks Barbara … I actually loved the corporate world …. but there there a lot of different jobs within it … I got sidetracked into a part of it that I really didn’t like. I was lucky to have the opportunity to jump out and take time to rethink where I wanted to be in the corporate environment.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
Mary–Love your story and cant wait to read your book…my TBR pile is more like a mountain range, but I will get to it…it’s taken me until today just to read your entry on Sonia’s page. (I apparently need more hours than seem to be available.)
Your jumping off the deep end as you did when you were 40 resonates with my own plunge at the same age, except I joined the circus–in the form of Club Med. I left my Atlanta business behind for living on the beach in Mexico and then St. Lucia, working as a riding instructor. Club Med was the only corporation I ever worked for as a salaried employee–and the work was hardly that of climbing the traditional corporate ladder. It lasted a year, and that was enough of that.
I’m amazed that you actually did return to the corporate world after getting a taste of the life outside, but you were smart to figure out how to manage your passion and thrive within the corporate framework and take advantage of the benefits that offers–that’s an extraordinary talent. I’m as amazed at myself for having been able to thrive (although it wasn’t always easy) by steering clear of the corporate culture altogether. Being a huge risk taker was very helpful–the Club Med experience was only one of among many jumps off the cliff into who-knew-what, and I’m so glad I didn’t worry about the possible consequences as I did it (or I would never have jumped).
My own memoir is in the final (I hope) editing phase…it’s about another of the plunges in my life, but this one of the romantic sort.
I’m very interested to maybe read (or listen to/watch, if you’re doing audios/videos) some of your lectures on personal risk. Loved this post. Thank you to both you and Sonia.
Nancy Babcock recently posted..Nothing Is As It Appears…and Happy New Year
Greetings to a fellow risk taker … the sailing trip was not my first “gutsy” act, and certainly not my last. Most make for a fun dinner conversation, but aren’t worth writing a book about … as I noted below, I’m always in search of wonderful metaphors, and sailing was perfect.
BTW I noticed your reference to Terry Tempest Williams on your blog … have you read “Refuge” … I am not Mormon, but thought it one of the loveliest and most inspiring things I’ve read.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
Mary–I haven’t read “Refuge,” and I’ll check it out…it will likely become part of that mountain range of TBR. (I’ll try to keep it at the top of one of the peaks so I get to it sooner than later.) Thanks for mentioning it.
Nancy Babcock recently posted..Nothing Is As It Appears…and Happy New Year
Hi .. I know about those TBR piles! They make me a little panicky, sometimes!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
What a great story. Love the metaphor of having to adjust your sails on the voyage of life.
ladyfi recently posted..Recipe for happiness
Thanks ladyfi … metaphors play a large role in my life and I am always looking for one that offer yet another insight!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
Mary, I once left a job that was going in to direction and lacked mental enrichment, so I can very much relate to this story and understand the risk you took. Sounds like it all worked out great for you! P.
Thanks Paige … I think there are so many who find themselves stuck in dead-end jobs … walking away looks risky at the time but it’s generally the right thing to do!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go
You have guts AND chutzpah. Thank you for sharing it and inspiring others!
Thanks Sheree .. I take that as a high compliment from one of the gutsiest people I know!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Writing is Living Twice
Mary,
You know I loved your book – incredibly “gutsy” to even consider a five-year sailing voyage. Your journey of making it on your own as a single woman after your divorce is a testament to your intelligence and motivation. Your insight about dead-end jobs that don’t inspire or nurture the spirit, is right-on and so timely. Unfortunately, we live in a world and economic times where many are ensnared in soul-depleting, low-paying jobs, particularly women. I feel blessed that I was able to risk doing something new and different with my life before it was too late, primarily due to the economic security of receiving VA benefits after the death of my husband and a shrewd financial advisor. So many women are not as fortunate as I. Unemployment among older workers is one of the greatest tragedies of our times.
Susan … thanks for your thoughtful comments. I feel that I too have been very lucky overall, but my belief is that staying in “safe” but “soul-deadening” jobs is often not the wisest course of action, particularly in these uncertain economic times. As you portray in Morning at Wellington Square, doing something you love and have a passion for often is the most rewarding financially as well as emotionally!
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Writing is Living Twice
Yours was a brave decision to leave a career in the corporate world and follow a dream. I find it sad that so many people seem to be caught in the all-consuming jaws of a miserable job while putting their personal dreams on hold for the day they can escape. You had the courage to free yourself from corporate bondage, put your career on hold, and undertake a five-year voyage around the world when you still had the youth and energy for it.
Penelope J. recently posted..Never Give Up on Your Dream
Thanks Penelope … as I mentioned in my comment to Susan above, I have been very fortunate at many stages of my life. At a point when I felt unwilling to put my life “on hold,” I was married to a man who was also willing to “jump off the cliff and grow wings on the way down!”
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Writing is Living Twice
Thanks for spreading the word !
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..Letting Go