What Do You Do when the Good Times End?
My advertising career started in London and ended in Mexico City in 1990 when my boss persuaded me to take early retirement. I heard “corporate takeover casualties,” but he was so smooth that for several minutes I didn’t understand that he meant “you’re fired.”
After I agreed, in exchange for a hefty sum, to resign, he asked, “What will you do next?”
“I’ll get rid of my high heels, give away my business suits, let my hair grow down to my waist—and strangle you with my pantyhose. Then, I’ll open a restaurant.” I’d been toying with this idea for a while. Just needed the money to get it going. With my severance package, marketing savvy, and cooking expertise, I knew it would be a success. Provide me with an income for life. At forty-six, I had high expectations.
Handling millions of dollars of other people’s money was easy compared to handling my own. There’d always been someone to go to the bank for me and help with my accounts and investments. Now I had to do them myself. Maybe I had a flutter of unease when I invested all of my money in this venture, took out loans and used credit cards up to the hilt, but I never expected I’d lose it all. My heart was not in this business; it was more like a romance on the rebound after the end of a long-time relationship.
The restaurant folded after a year, leaving me broke, rudderless, with no idea of where I was heading except, it seemed, downwards.
One morning a sudden urge woke me before dawn and I wrote the first chapter of a novel that would become my companion for nine years. I completed a full draft in four-and-a-half months, right before my fiftieth birthday. Set in both contemporary and 18th century Mexico, my book had two protagonists and two plots. Overambitious, perhaps, but it kept me going through loss of business, money, status, and my home of 16 years. Gave me a goal. By my mid-fifties I’d be a published author and over this economic hump.
Catering provided an income though not enough to keep up my former lifestyle. I sold half my belongings and moved to an apartment with a view of the Valley of Mexico. This inspired me to enter a world of mysticism, witches, brews, spells, and past life experiences that all became fodder for the book. I taught business English and catered events until one afternoon an earthquake rocked my building and sixteen trays of hors d’oeuvres slid off tables and smashed on the floor. Lost my best client, my income plunged, and I fell behind with the rent. My landlord agreed to take my living room furniture and most valuable painting in lieu of what I owed him.
I downscaled to a bungalow, former servants’ quarters, and plodded through a second draft. I wrote my frustrations, disappointments, fears into the pages, and the book became Gothic dark. An aching hip slowed me down.
A friend offered me a three-month housesitting job in Santa Fe, New Mexico with the bait that I’d have time to write. I ended up stranded, sleeping at her home between housesitting gigs until she turned unfriendly. Tried pet-sitting. A client asked would I sleep with his basset hound, meaning on the bed with me. A large, solid, tank-like dog that dribbled? My refusal didn’t bode well for my career as a pet-sitter.
My computer conked out, so I wrote the old-fashioned way, by hand. My protagonists faced significant obstacles as did I. A doctor diagnosed degeneration of my hip. I needed an operation. When? A year at most depending on my tolerance to pain.
My hip deteriorated; I couldn’t walk without a cane. I exchanged Santa Fe for life as an invalid in my son’s apartment in Tijuana, a city on the Mexican/US border. A doctor promised treatment to help regenerate cartilage. For eighteen months I believed I was making progress, even as the biting pain in my thigh grew worse. I wrote another two drafts of my book, a masterpiece of drama, supernatural happenings, and sex. Since I wasn’t getting any, it helped to write about it.
My mother died and left a life insurance that covered a hip replacement. Within weeks, I set out on a job search in San Diego. With no business contacts there, no car, no phone, and almost no money it meant, at fifty-six, trudging the streets looking for work instead of inhabiting an executive suite.
First I interviewed in ad agencies where I came face-to-face with young MBAs bristling with Internet knowhow and new marketing techniques. Next, want ads. Not computer savvy. Not qualified. Overqualified. A “We’re Hiring” banner offered a stopgap measure—a job as a phone researcher. $8 an hour. What a comedown, but the 1 to 9 p.m. shift was convenient for commuting across the border.
I became Susan—my first name – J. Whatever happened to Penelope who worked in solitary splendor in an elegant office? Now one of the hundred interviewers in the phone room, I sat in a cubicle wherever supervisors placed me. Another low-wage worker.
For four months I commuted four-and-a-half hours until I saved enough to move to the US. My new home was a hotel room. I wrote an eighth draft of my book. Gave my protagonists some happiness. They deserved it after all they had gone through.
Easy work, easy life. A two-year trap in a nothing job. An offer to work as a Hispanic research report writer put me back on track. In two weeks I made the same as in three months in the phone room. A new career beckoned. I could afford an apartment with a view of San Diego Bay. I shelved my book and started writing a riches-to-rags memoir.
Time to move on to the next stage in my life.
***
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PENELOPE JAMES: Anglo-Mexican-American. Born in England, moved to Mexico City at 10. Worked in advertising agencies in New York, London, and Mexico City and in Hispanic Research in US. Author of Don’t Hang Up! What Do You Do when the Good Times End? to be published this autumn. Co-writer of Barriers to Love, a memoir by Marina Peralta. Currently lives in San Diego, CA.
Former Spanish-English translator, copywriter, report writer, columnist “Insights into Mexico” for The Baja News. Has published nonfiction short stories. A judge for the San Diego Book Awards 2010 to date. Website: http://www.donthangupbook.com
SONIA MARSH SAYS: What a life you’ve had Pennie. I admire your courage and determination and can understand the frustrations you faced, and how you never gave up. Your passion for writing will pay off. I know how hard you’ve worked on your writing career.
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Dixie Diamanti’s is the 2nd story in our “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology #2. Mary Hamer’s is the first one.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE SPECIAL EVENT TO LAUNCH OF OUR FIRST “My Gutsy Story®” ANTHOLOGY, ON SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2013, IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA. Click here for your invitation.
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®,” to be considered for our 2nd Anthology. Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
Great story. Also Great writing. I don’t think you’re alone, either. I think there are many people who invest unwisely and end up starting over. People need to hear that retirement isn’t always a happy ever after story. But, that you still persevere.
Cathy, Your comment is right on. So many people have gone or are going through similar trials in midlife. It is not easy for them – as it wasn’t easy for me – to have to make a new start at a time when they should be comfortably set for the rest of their lives.
I love your enduring story, and your honesty about failures and success. We all have failures but sometimes we’re afraid to write about them. I’m a savvy Senior, and believe me, I have had my share of failures too. Perhaps that’s why I can relate to your story and laugh along with your wonderful sense of humor. I Wish you smooth sailing and oceans of blessings in your future endeavors.
Sharon,
I’m so glad you can relate to my story. I guess we can’t live to a certain age without having our share of failures, but it’s recognizing and owning up to them that can be difficult. Over the years my failures rather than my successes have served as motivation to find a way up again.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Goodness – what a life! What determination you have – inspirational in your will never to give up!
Lady Fi recently posted..Field of wishes
Lady Fi, This is just the tail end of my life. My determination I owe to my indomitable mother and some little light inside me that won’t let me give up.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Penelope, can I just say that I admire your resilience and your ability to bounce back? This is an inspiring story and I was wondering how you found the strength not to give up.
I can’t wait to read your book!
MuMuGB recently posted..Where Has Chivalry Gone?
Muriel, I think we all have that inner strength, but it may be easier to give up or give in when things don’t work out. I’ve known people to go through far worse – war victims or cancer survivors come to mind, but the loss of work – our means of survival – can have disastrous effects. It can diminish self-esteem and sense of worth to the point of depression, hopelessness, loss of dignity, suicidal thoughts, etc. I was lucky to have a goal, a dream that kept me going.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Pennie, if this is not inspirational, I don’t know what is. I HONESTLY cannot fathom the depth of your tenacity and given all that you’ve been through, I have only one question. If you were to be asked what was that one thing, one thought, one whatever, that just kept you going, what answer would you give? Anyway, thank you for being so inspiring as always!
Joy recently posted..When Vacations Cost ME Too Much
Joy, I’d have to say the one thing that kept me going was my writing, which is why I give it such prominence here. When I lost everything, when I was alone and confused in Santa Fe, and especially when I was in pain and couldn’t walk in Tijuana, my writing kept me going. That, and the encouragement of family and friends. Thanks for asking this question.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Well done Penelope. Your determination to bounce back each time disaster struck is a testament to your will.Many people would have just folded. You’re quite the inspiration to those who suffer health problems too, showing that it doesn’t have to place us on a scrapheap of unemployables and accepting it as your lot in life.
Good for you !
David Prosser recently posted..In and Out of Fashion.
Hi David, Thanks for your heartwarming words especially the ones about health problems. While my sojourn as an invalid was difficult, I’m glad I had to go through it. I learned compassion, and how pain is a solitary place to be, and this knowledge has enabled me to help others in similar situations.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
I’d like to thank Sonia Marsh for publishing “My Gutsy Story” on her Gutsy Living page and, I hope, in the second My Gutsy Story anthology. Sonia has motivated many of us to share our story whether it be dawdling in our minds or on our computers or recently published.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Pennie,
I am so glad you reached out and shared your inspiring story. I thank everyone who has opened up, shared their personal stories, and all those who have commented. Thanks Pennie, and keep writing. next your memoir. 🙂
Sonia Marsh recently posted..“My Gutsy Story®” Penelope James
It has been a real pleasure reading these stories that Sonia has gathered and Penelope yours is just as inspiring as always. You have encountered so many challenges and it is good to see you still moving. Still trying to make the best of things.
I look forward to seeing your book come out and I would love to see you finish that novel. It sounds so complex and multi-leveled. Maybe it should be a trilogy.
Best wishes for a brighter year to some.
Hi Nikki, thanks for your comments. I’ve had a few setbacks, but I’m well on my way again. As for my novel, I’m working on it. I outlined a follow-up book, but don’t know if I’ll have time to write more since the stories are so complex.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Penny – you are the quintessential survivor, bless you! It hasn’t been easy but your courage, perseverance and dogged determination shine through. You should win the contest hands down!
We will certainly be rooting for you! We look forward to the publication of the book and then, watching you on the press tour!!
Hi Daphne, One of my early lessons in courage and survival came from you when we were both in London.
Actually, I wrote this book more to reach out to others like me who also have suffered or are going through career/financial/home/health loss and find themselves facing the lot of many older, former professionals–nothing, unless they reinvent themselves.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Penny, take one inspirational and determined woman and couple her with writing that resonates and honestly spills her story on the screen, and you’ve got one gutsy story! One that should give hope and encouragement to so many others like you. Thanks for your willingness to share the worst alongside the best of your story.
Sherrey Meyer recently posted..KDP Select – Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down??
Hi Sherrey, I’m happy to see that my message – to give hope and encouragement to others like me – resonated with you. I’m only one of many who’s endured career loss and its repercussions in midlife. I want to put a face on a problem that has affected many people over 45 for decades before the current economic crisis.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
What a gutsy lady! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for your future!
Hi Marie, I can’t wait either. I’m as impatient as a schoolgirl, but at the same time it’s taken so long to get where I am today that I also have a sort of fatalistic “que sera, que sera” feeling. What will be, will be.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Can’t wait for the “rest of the story” in your upcoming memoir Penelope!! I can say it was the best thing I ever did and it really helped me see how there was always a plan for my life when I really looked at my life as a whole. Great story and so truthful. I believe what makes a difference in the lives of others is our own transparency and vulnerability. Great writing!!
Dixie Diamanti recently posted..Finding My Real Daddy
Hi Dixie, I agree that what makes a difference is opening ourselves up in all honesty, which can be painful, draining, but cathartic. This is especially relevant when you can say – as you do – that writing a memoir was the best thing you ever did.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Nicely done. Working with you was great, but nothing compares to being your friend. The ups and downs on our careers, the ups and downs on our lives, but the fortitude to keep going, the strength to look for what gives us a sense of achievement, that is something we look forward to.
Hi Sergio, Yes, the ups and downs of our lives. We never expected it to be a smooth ride, but we never foresaw such a rocky one. On the other hand, as you say, we gained the fortitude to keep going when times were rough. We’ve been able to start new midlife careers and in my case, end up in the one I always wanted to follow.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Dear Pennie: it’s been a while, I’m sorry to have missed you all these years and so happy to have reconnected. I could not put down your “gutsy story”, it really made me feel humble and grateful for whatever I have. It sounds like you’ve triumphed over all odds and are on your way to your goal. I look forward to reading and learning more from your example. With love & respect Teresa
Hi Tere, I’m very happy to reconnect with you over my story. From what I recall, you have also triumphed over many odds, and I’m sure you have a story of your own to tell. I’m only one of many professionals who have been laid off, who have to find a way to make a new career start even if it’s at the bottom.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
When it comes to a long series of losses, resilience is what it takes to stay sane, I know. Kudos to you for holding onto your book project, Pennie. I can’t wait to read your story.
Hi Belinda, Appreciate your comment. As you say, resilience is key after experiencing losses. Also the determination to move on and make a new start. As for the book project in this story, I took it out of the closet and am revising it again.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Pennie,
Thank you for replying to each comment you received. Your story touched so many and I’m not surprised. Look forward to meeting you in person again soon. All the best. Sonia.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..Gutsy Flip-Flops and Toenail Contests
Hi Sonia, Thanks for your kind words and for the opportunity to share my story on your Gutsy Living page. Now I have to get that book out. “Don’t Hang Up!” should be published in the autumn. Best wishes, Pennie
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Truly gutsy story, Penelope! You remind us that sometimes we have to take a step back to find our true calling. Also, the initial “firing” appears to have been a blessing in disguise, making way for your real passion, writing. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story and for showing us what resilience looks like.
Hi Kathy, You are absolutely right. My Gutsy story and my Don’t Hang Up! book premise is precisely that major setbacks/losses may also provide opportunities to make a new start or follow a passion. Career/job, financial, home, status loss may affect us deeply but none is as important as how we deal with the loss and get on with our lives.
Whoa! Talk about gutsy. I should have thought of that adjective when I first heard your story. What a perfect way to describe all the ways you faced life as it came, always demonstrating your adaptability and strength. I love how every time I read something you write, your story fleshes out a little bit. Thank you for continuing to inspire me, to show me that it’s worth it to take chances and that there’s always a solution, even if it’s a solution that we would never have imagined. =)
Samantha Bangayan recently posted..Living with an Open Heart of Learning
Sam, You are one gutsy lady yourself and you know a lot about adaptability and strength. Your last two lines say it all. There’s always a solution even though we may not want to accept it as such. We’d rather try to control or dictate a solution, but often we come crashing down when things don’t work out the way we expected/planned. We have to become adaptable, resilient, and accepting of change – the great leveler of our lives.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
You are truly amazing, Penelope. What courage and perseverance. It’s great to hear that happiness has been written into your life at this stage. All the best for continued success and your new book.
Adriene,
I’m honored to receive such compliments from an amazing poet. You know as well as I do how much our happiness is related to our writing. As long as we have that we’ll find a way to vanquish most if not all of the obstacles in our way.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Love your story, Penny, and had to laugh out loud, great writing. You fall down you get back up again, even with a deteriorating hip. Ouch! So happy for you that things are looking great and you seized the proverbial silver lining. Good luck with finishing your book and I look forward to reading it.
Barbara recently posted..Some Circus And More
Barbara,
Glad to hear that my story made you laugh. Then so will the book. Even bad memories have their humorous side with the benefit of distance. As for the silver lining, sometimes there’s no other option except to go find it. The book, “Don’t Hang Up!” is finished and should be coming out this autumn.
What a great photo and wonderful story to go with it. I love your sense of humor in relating the series of miserable events, I admire your great spirit.
Claire,
Glad you liked my sense of humor. I find there’s always – if you look for it – a light or a humorous or an ironic underside to miserable events. You’re no stranger to that yourself. Thanks for your uplifting comment.
Inspirational and determined – love it!
Lucy,
Thanks for your kind words. Hope you will the same when you read the book. Coming out in autumn.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
I love reading and following you Penelope. I really do. You are an inspiration and I’ve loved getting to know you over these last few years and seeing you through your journey, on and off. I can’t wait to read your books and am so happy you are on the up and up, as you most certainly deserve it my dear.
xx
Janine, Likewise. We’ve both taken a long journey together over the last few years. Thanks for your constant encouragement and support.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
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What a roller-coaster ride! Great and inspiring story Penny!
Joaquin,
A roller-coaster ride indeed that I shared with many other professionals after career loss. Glad to see you here.
Penelope J recently posted..Making a New Start – Not What I Expected
Hi Pennie … just realized you won the June contest. Congrats and WELL DESERVED. It was wonderful to read about how you kept on going … but I wanted to see the how it all worked out (since I know it did!)
Can’t wait to see you book.
Mary Gottschalk recently posted..A Fitting Place – Another Comfort Zone
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