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Skydiving at 80 and Rowing 3,107 miles.

November 17, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Who goes sky-diving on their 80th birthday?

Who rows the distance between Paris and New York in just over two years at 80?

Doris Walsh does and you know why?

Because after her loving husband of 59 years passed away, four years ago, Doris decided she could either:

  • Stay home and grieve
  • Do something Gutsy.

So Doris decided to start exercising and developed a passion for rowing.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Doris in her cozy home over a cup of freshly brewed coffee. When Doris greeted me, I thought I had the wrong address and glanced at the unit number, just to make sure.  This woman seemed too young and bouncy to be eighty. I kept comparing her to relatives and friends of mine in their eighties, and thought she must be hiding some secret that all of us need to hear about. (Her secret below.)

“Where would you like to sit?” she asked, pointing to three different locations in her clutter-free living area. I picked her dining room table and Doris placed a small dish of wafers, to go along with our coffee. I noticed her fuchsia polished nails matched her lipstick.

Her tidy home and toned body made me realize: this woman takes care of herself and is disciplined.

Doris Walsh was born on February 1st, 1931, in Rosemead, California. She married at 17, and had seven children in ten years. All of her adult children are between 52-62.  She now has 24 grandkids and 17 great grand children.

After some background questions about how many siblings she had, “six” and whether she had a happy childhood, “yes” I wanted to prove something that I truly believed. In order to become “gutsy” in life, you must have traveled as a child, and Doris proved me wrong. She said she was rather shy as a child and never moved around more than a 45-mile radius, her whole life. She does believe that being raised to be “independent” as a child and not “coddled,” is very important though.

Doris believes she has done three major Gutsy things in her life:

  • She went back to school and became an RN (registered nurse) at the age of 56 when she no longer had kids at home.
  • She went skydiving at 80.
  • She started rowing and set goals for herself. Her first goal was 2 million meters, which she reached, 3,107 miles and her next goal is to reach 3 million meters. So far she’s rowed 1,864 miles this year.

Doris rowing and listening to music

Doris says that rowing relaxes and takes away any stress. She listens to music and gets motivated when she hears her husband singing, “Some Enchanted Evening” their favorite song when he was alive.

She has become a rowing champion and was interviewed in the Orange County Register.

“I put on my music and just row away. Since I made my goal, I have cut back and now train 3-4 times a week for an hour. I walk here and back home as well. That’s about a mile.”

Doris has a secret: it’s called discipline and setting goals. She says, anytime she says she’s going to accomplish something, she sticks with it.

It’s obvious that Doris and her husband were deeply in love during the entire 59 years they were married. Her daughter showed up during our interview and said, “My parents were joined at the hip. They were the perfect example of soul-mates.”

Doris told me that Faith, is what gets her through everything in life. She knows that she will join her husband one day.

When I asked her what other Gutsy things she would like to do, she mentioned “Sky jumping.” She said it’s different from bungee jumping, which she refuses to do as it can detach your retina. Doris said there’s sky-jumping in New Zealand where you can jump from a tall building. I looked it up and think this might be what she wants to do next.

Plus, Doris wants to keep sky-diving on every single birthday. The problem is her daughters don’t want to.

Perhaps I should volunteer on Doris’ 81st birthday on February 1st 2012, as I’ve never tried.

The secret is: Setting goals, discipline and sticking with it, as well as exercising as you get older. This is how you can make your life exciting and Gutsy at any age. Doris Walsh is proof. I forgot to mention Doris also walks everywhere, even to the grocery store, and does yoga which explains her flexible, youthful stride.

What do you think? Have you met any older Gutsy people? If so, please share what you admire about them?

Don’t forget our weekly “My Gutsy Story” contest. Great sponsors and prizes. Please read guidelines and submit here.

“My Gutsy Story” by Lauri Kubuitsile

November 14, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Running is Not for Cowards

By

Lauri Kubuitsile

That day, I got in a stranger’s car and left-forever. It wasn’t a difficult move. In retrospect I guess it was dangerous, I guess some might have said it was reckless. But it was the choice that brought me here, to this point, to this life I have now. The journey started when I was 16. I was running away from home and it was the most important thing I’ve ever done.

Up to that age my life was divided into sections like an orange. There was the bit where my mother was out of the mental hospital and we lived with her. In that bit we lived on welfare and free school lunches, and when her dark days arrived, she kept us in the house with the windows closed and the doors locked until someone noticed and came and saved us.

There was the bit when we stayed with my father, a long distance truck driver who was gone all week, only home on the weekends. On the weekends he’d hire a babysitter. Sometimes she’d last a week or two, sometimes she’d disappear midweek and we’d have to see how to get through until Saturday when my father came back again.

And then there was the last bit. Maybe the most difficult bit. The bit where my father thought marrying one of the babysitters might solve the problem and instead threw us into a real-life fairy tale with the sticking-to-script wicked stepmother but no happily ever after at the end. My father started coughing in August and was dead by March. I realised quickly I needed to make a decision. I knew without a move, I would be sucked in and lost for ever. I wouldn’t let that happen. I had plans for my life.

So that morning I packed my schoolbag with what I could and got on the school bus, but I never went to school that day. I walked to the highway. I got a lift with a stranger, an old man who had to make a stop on the way to feed some cats. A man who asked me many questions about where I was going that I answered with lies he was able to smile about and accept. I got in his car and set off on the journey leading to my life. The one defined by me. I was tired of being the victim of circumstances I didn’t create. I was not born to be a victim.

I think running away gets a lot of bad press.  Don’t listen to all of the Oprah-speak about how you can’t run away from your problems. I’m proof that it’s a lie. You can. I ran and ran again -and here I am, thousands and thousands of miles away from where I started. I live in Botswana, in a quiet village, with my new family, the one created by me. I hesitate to say I’m happy because for me happiness is not a goal, it’s a by-product. A by-product of living your own life, the one specifically designed for you. In that sense, I did find happiness along the road to finding my purpose.

Running is gutsy too. Don’t accept the hype.

*****

Lauri Kubuitsile is an award winning, full time writer living in Botswana. Her short stories have been published on four continents and she has 14 published works of fiction, primarily for children.  She’s also written six textbooks, two television series and numerous radio scripts. She has twice won first place in Africa’s prize for children’s writing, The Golden Baobab. Most recently she was shortlisted for the 2011 Caine Prize. Her latest books are a YA book, Signed, Hopelessly in Love (Tafelberg, Aug 2011) and a romance novella, Mr Not Quite Good Enough (Sapphire Press, July 2011). She was born in the United States, but is a citizen of Botswana. She’s married with two teenage children. She blogs at Thoughts from Botswana 

*****

Thank you Lauri for sharing this very moving and “Gutsy” part of your life.

As you can see, each story is very different and “Gutsy” in its own way. We shall select one a week and feature it on Monday. Please comment, and the more comments a story receives, the more likely it is to be selected as the “winner” of the month.

At the end of each month, we shall run a poll so everyone can vote for their favorite “My Gutsy Story” of the month.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page.

Thank you to those who have already submitted your “My Gutsy Story” to Gutsy Living. We  are saving them for future posts and have five sponsors for November. We shall be getting more exciting sponsors in the future.

Questions? Comments? Please share, and Lauri will check back to respond.

52 + 1 Chat Groups for Writers on Twitter

November 10, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Do you like to chat? Do you feel lonely sitting on your perch?

Well, if you’re a writer, this may be your lucky day. There’s something for everyone.

Onlinecollege.org contacted me with a list they composed for writers and asked if I’d be interested in sharing their amazing list on my blog. The list is called: 52 Wonderful Chitter Chats for Writers

“There are many places for writers to find help and inspiration for every part of the writing process. One of the newest sources of support is on Twitter, through a wide variety of writing chats.”

Since  I thought their list is extremely helpful, I decided to share it and to add a Gutsy twist. Our own # (hashtag) where we can discuss our #MyGutsyStory.

This is why I call the list 52 + 1

Here is a list of 52 chat groups + 1 Newly created chat group

Slow Chat: These chats don’t always have a set time or day that they meet. Writers and readers simply post to them whenever they come across something they’d like to share with the community.

  • #wip: WIP stands for “work in progress” and that’s just what these writers share, offering tips to make your writing better and excerpts from their own.
  • #iamwriting: This chat is exactly what it sounds like. Anytime writers are working, they share their progress, or lack thereof, to this hashtag chat. It can be great to motivate you to get your own writing done.

Weekly Chats: If you’re looking for a more structured chat, any of these options for writers can be a good choice.

  • #writechat: Writers can find a wealth of information and a thriving community through the weekly chats held at this #(hashtag). Simply head to Twitter from 3-6 p.m. EST to join in the fun.
  • #storychat: Share any progress you’re making (or not making) with your short stories and other writings through this weekly chat.

Not just novels:  While many of the chats on Twitter are geared towards novelists, there are still plenty of options for those who prefer screenplays, memoirs, poems, and other forms of writing.

  • #memoirchat: Every other Wednesday at 8 p.m. EST, writers working on their memoirs can head to Twitter to engage in a thoughtful chat, offering tips, advice, and excerpts of their writing.
  • #journchat: Discuss issues pertinent to journalism and PR through this chat, held on Monday evenings.

Genre: These chats focus on a single genre, like sci-fi, romance, or young adult literature.

  • #kidlitchat: This chat is the perfect place for writers penning works for young readers to keep in touch with others in the field. The chat begins at 9 p.m. EST on Tuesdays, and topics are announced before the chat.
  • #romancewriter: Find others who share your love of writing romance through this hashtag.

Professional: Learn more about what it takes to work as a writer, get published, and have a successful book with some help from these professional chats.

  • #askagent: Have a question you want to ask a book agent? While chats often go on all week, Tuesdays provide the biggest opportunities to talk with professionals.
  • #publishing: Learn more about the publishing industry though this slow chat. Your newfound knowledge could just help you get your own book published.

Help and Inspiration: Whether you need some writing help or a creative spark to get you going, these chats offer a way to find it.

  • #writegoal: Setting goals for writing can be a very important part of actually getting a work done. Use this chat to share your goals and your successes as you move through the writing process.
  • #creativity: Get into your creative groove with a little help from the chat that goes on pretty continuously under this hashtag.

Did you know you can create your own chat group on Twitter? So let’s start a group for all those interested in the Monday series called: #MyGutsyStory and grow a community of writers, who would like to join and participate.

Do you use Twitter? If not why not? Need help? Ask away, and we’ll see if we can help one another.

It may take a little while to get the hang of it, but once you do, it’s a great way to find people, join groups you’re interested in and share. Any questions?

Take advantage of all the Twitter Chat groups available to you and share your writing, offer suggestions and learn from others. Join the 52+1 (#Mygutsystory)

Please remember to join the contest #MyGutsyStory. You can see guidelines here, and read about sponsors and prizes here, and see our first two stories for November’s contest, Rhonda Hayes and Karen van der Zee.

 

 

“My Gutsy Story” by Karen van der Zee

November 7, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Go to Africa? Marry a Foreigner? What Was I thinking?

by

Karen van der Zee (aka Miss Footloose)

 

“If you don’t go, you’ll never know,” my mother says. It’s the perfect answer to the question I’ve been struggling with: Should I get on a plane and go to Africa to be with the man I’ve only known for a short time? He’s an American Peace Corps Volunteer and I’m a Dutch girl, in love, and dreaming of adventure. But we haven’t seen each other for six months and is he really the one? This is risky business, I’m sure you agree. Maybe I should just stay in Holland and marry a dentist and have a safe and unadventurous life in a nice, clean Dutch suburb.

But, no, I get on a plane to Kenya. Kenya is not Holland and I find it all a great adventure.  And I’m in love with my Peace Corps hero. A couple of months after my arrival we decide to get married and purchase two 9-karat gold rings, the cheapest we can find because we are poor.

On a sunny tropical morn, my hero and I walk to the District Commissioner’s office in the town of Nyeri for the joyous event, at least we’re expecting it to be joyous. It turns out to be rather bizarre but we don’t know that yet.

Our wedding party of twelve strong awaits us at the door, a hippie lot consisting of one Swede, one Brit, a couple of Kenyans and several Peace Corps volunteers, all dressed up in their finest jeans and cleanest shirts.

We squeeze ourselves into the small office, a humorless space devoid of festive adornments and full of stale air. Behind the desk stands the District Commissioner, a man of solid build and serious demeanor. Also present are two mystery maidens, pretty Kikuyu girls in neatly pressed frocks. We do not know who they are, but soon discover they’re here to serve as our witnesses in case we don’t have any. We do, but the girls do not leave because (I assume) seeing wazungu (white people) getting hitched in this town is not a daily occurrence.

It may well be a very rare occurrence because the DC, wearing a suit and tie as is befitting his status, is sweating bullets.  Not only from the heat, because along with the sweating he is also trembling and displaying a nervous tick.

After various solemn greetings, the ceremony commences. The DC directs himself to my man, ignoring me.

“Do you understand,” he asks, his cheek twitching, “that this is a civil ceremony and not a tribal one?”

My husband-to-be says yes, he does.  So do I (this is, after all, Africa), but my understanding is of no importance apparently. I am not amused.

“And that under civil law, you can only have one wife?”

My man says, yes, he understands.

The DC’s hand trembles so much he drops his pen.  “And do you understand that if you want another wife under civil law, you must first divorce the first one?”

Ye gods. Is this an omen? Am making a terrible mistake? We are talking about getting rid of me before I’m even married. How cool is that? I’m standing here in all my bridal glory, miniskirt and all, and the DC is talking to my man as if I am not even here. I’m overwhelmed with emotion at this sacred matrimonial moment. I’m sure, dear reader, you can identify.

My not-yet husband says he understands about divorce. (He hails, after all, from America.)

I’m aquiver with nerves. Should I get out of here, go back to Holland?  Marry a dentist instead?  What was I thinking, traveling to Africa, marrying a foreigner?

“However,” the DC continues, cheek twitching some more, “in the event you want a second wife but don’t want to divorce your civil-law wife, you’ll be allowed to marry a second one under tribal law.”

This is good news!  My man won’t have to get rid of me if he wants another wife!  I’m overcome with emotion. (This is, after all, my wedding day.)

After some more of this scintillating discourse, we finally get to the one single question I have the privilege to respond to:

“Do you take this man . . . . ”

I say yes, I do.

*

Years have passed. So far no second wife, tribal or otherwise.

Getting on that plane to Africa was risky business, but I ended up with the man I wanted and together we live a globetrotting life, which is never boring.

_____

NOTE:  This wedding was not a recent event, and I am sure that the ceremony I have described has been changed and modernized.  So if you want one just like it, you are out of luck.

 

Karen van der Zee grew up in the Netherlands and has cooked, shopped, mothered, traveled and written romance novels and stories in Africa, Asia, Europe, the US and the Middle East. You can read about her (mis)adventures on her blog Life in the Expat Lane (www.lifeintheexpatlane.com)

******

Thank you Karen for sharing your Gutsy marriage in Kenya. We’re glad to hear there is no second wife, tribal or otherwise. You can find out more about Karen van der Zee, her travel adventures and her present expat life in Moldova on her blog.

So far, the stories are all very different and “Gutsy” in their own way. We shall select one a week and feature it on Monday. Please comment, and the more comments a story receives, the more likely it is to be selected as the “winner” of the month.

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can do so at Join the “My Gutsy Story” contest.

Here you can find out more about our sponsors and prizes for November 2011 contest.

Thank you to those who have already submitted your “My Gutsy Story” to Gutsy Living. We  are saving them for future posts and have four sponsors for November. We shall be getting more exciting sponsors in the future.

Questions? Comments? Please share, and Karen will check back to respond.

Interview with famous photographer Alissa Everett

November 3, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

When I first read about world famous photographer, Alissa Everett,  in the August 2011 issue of Oprah magazine, I knew I had to interview her. She’s incredibly Gutsy, and decided to turn her passion into her job. Alissa is so busy traveling around the world, using her photography to tell the success stories that we need to hear about: women in Africa, and so many others.

Interview with Alissa Everett

I discovered you and your work through the August issue of the Oprah magazine and was fascinated by your story.

As someone who believes in taking risks in life, what fascinated me was how you gave up the idea of following the career path, (100 hour work weeks), getting a business degree and changed your course to follow your passion.

Sonia: Tell us briefly the process you went through between the time you decided to quit your job and the time you left on your backpacking trip. Was there one critical moment that made you decide to go for your passion? Which countries did you visit first and why? How old were you? Did you travel alone? Were you scared? What did your family and friends say? Any regrets or advice?

Alissa: There actually was a very clear moment.  I was looking through my business school acceptance package, looking for classes I wanted to take.  I remember seeing economics, statistics, calculus, flipping each page faster and faster thinking “I don’t want to take any of these.  What am I doing??”  I had achieved acceptance into a top five business school and was on my way, but on my way to a destination I knew I didn’t want.

I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do so I went traveling to give myself some time and space to figure things out.  I went to South East Asia, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and Burma and explored, sometimes with a friend, sometimes alone.  I took my camera and began photographing again, something I had neglected for several years.  During those travels I decided that I wanted to pursue my photography full time.

I was a little nervous at first, as this was my first big trip alone, but that quickly faded.  And my family was very supportive.

Sonia: You mentioned you wanted to be a National Geographic photographer as a kid. Did someone try to talk you out of following your passion? Did you ever stop taking pictures?

Alissa: No one talked me out of it, but no one really encouraged me either.  My parents are both professionals with graduate degrees and I really felt I needed to follow that same path.  The only time I stopped taking pictures was when I was in investment banking, too busy to do anything but my work.

Sonia: In 2003 you made a gut decision “to go where the news was happening.” What prompted this decision? Tell us where you went and why? What aspect intrigued you? Was there a moment were you feared for your life?

Alissa: I was in the Middle East in late 2002 and was sure that the United States was going to go to war in Iraq.  I also knew that the whole world would be watching and that if I managed to get in, someone would want to publish my photographs.  I went to cover the war to begin my career.

Sonia: Did your Peace Corps work in Senegal, West Africa, influence you in terms of your future career choice and your desire to return to Africa?

Alissa: Absolutely.  Africa has a way of getting under your skin and always calling you back.  After living in a village in Senegal for over two years, the United States felt like a foreign country and a part of me will always feel more at home in Africa.

Alissa Everett Photography

Sonia: You’ve done so many gutsy things in your life most people would be scared to do. What advice do you have for someone who wants to try something new but is stuck in their comfort zone?

Alissa: You don’t have to go to a war zone to get out of your comfort zone.  Most of us have small things every day that challenge and scare us.  My advice would only be to take those things head on. I make it a point to do anything that scares me even a little bit, for example, public speaking.  When I was a kid, I would stay home from school “sick” on the day I had to give a class presentation.  When O Magazine called and asked me to speak at their annual conference three weeks ago, I was terrified, I reverted to that shy kid, but accepted to conquer that fear and ended up speaking on a stage in front of 5,000 people.

Sonia: I am fascinated by how you want your photography to show us “the under-the-radar stories that have passion, hope, and optimism.” Most of us see only the atrocities on TV, so can you give us specific examples of your favorite up-beat stories in parts of the world like Darfur, or DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo) that give us hope?

 

Alissa Everett Photography

Alissa: There are so many amazing stories – I wish the mainstream media would focus more on the positive happening in the world.  A great example, and only one of many, is from my last trip to the DRC. Care Through Action funded a safe house in an area of eastern DRC, along the Ugandan border, an area that is still today very volatile.  We also funded a rotating credit fund.  In this program, women receive an initial loan of $100 and repay $2 a month.  As they repay the loan, once the $100 is reached, the repaid sum rotates to a new woman entering the program.  The women were doing so well, they began paying back the loan plus interest, thus growing the initial sum of the fund.  Rather than distributing the profits amongst themselves, the women decided to take that money and pay for all of the orphans in their village to go to school.  Stories like those inspire me in my daily life and keep me motivated to help more women.  The women in these communities will take care of their own if we empower them to do so.

CTA teaching women to read and write

Sonia: What prompted you to start “Care Through Action”? Who is involved? I read that you focus on helping women with loans that they repay. They are taught skills such as sewing, basket weaving and baking bread. How easy is it for them to make money through selling their goods? Are they protected from all the atrocities we hear about like rape? Does CTA (Care Through Action) help them learn how to read and write? What about the children?

Alissa: Care Through Action was born in 2007 in response to my work in Darfur.  I began exhibiting my work to show a different side to the tragedy, to show the strength and the dignity of the refugees, rather than focusing on their suffering.  I felt a great responsibility to help the refugees in the camps I had been photographing, as well as a responsibility to those who viewed my work to provide them a way to help.

Thus, with Care Through Action, we can discuss difficult subject while finding hope in a solution.  Our mission is to inspire involvement and action – providing donors specific projects to fund that make a difference in people’s lives.

Women learning how to grow their own food

We are currently working in the DRC with survivors of sexual violence.  The biggest issue is that they are abandoned by their husbands and often ostracized by the community.  Through our partner, HEAL Africa, we build safe houses, provide counselors, skills training, and rotating credit funds for survivors of sexual violence.  The women form small cooperatives, choose the training the want (sewing, baking, basket weaving, etc.), and work together, supporting each other both financially and emotionally.  The safe houses become community centers of activity, and often the women begin to include women from the surrounding community who are not necessarily survivors of violence, but are just as poor.

 

CTA funding to help women learn new skills

Sonia: What are your goals over the next 5-10 years?

Alissa: My goal for Care Through Action is to grow our donor and issue base. We envision a global, informed community where the human rights of every individual are protected, connected by images and stories of hope and dignity that nurture the spirit and create empathy for one another.

We want to be a resource for this goal, a place where people who want to help can come to learn more about the most important issues facing women today and provide them with tangible and powerful ways to create lasting solutions at the local level.

Sonia: What can we do to help Care Through Action?

CTA- helping rape victims in the DRC learn new skills

Alissa: Spread the word and donate!

 

Please consider helping CTA

My favorite quotes from Alissa are:

  • “I was a little nervous at first, as this was my first big trip alone, but that quickly faded.”
  • “Africa has a way of getting under your skin and always calling you back.”
  • “You don’t have to go to a war zone to get out of your comfort zone.”
  • “I make it a point to do anything that scares me even a little bit, for example, public speaking.”
  • “I wish the mainstream media would focus more on the positive happening in the world.”

Photos (c) Alissa Everett. All rights reserved.

” Thank you so much for answering these questions Alissa. I hope you enjoyed reading this interview with a fascinating woman. I have donated to help women get loans so they can learn new skills and help other rape victims and their children start a new life. “

 

Remember to please submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” whenever you’re ready. One new one will be featured every Monday on this blog and you can read the guidelines and sponsor prizes offered. More sponsors added all the time. Thanks. 

 

 

 

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