Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Share One Sentence & One Photo About You

August 8, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

Share One Sentence & One Photo About You

Is there something “Gutsy” you really want to do? What is it?
Is there something “Gutsy” you’ve already done? What is it?
Is there something “Gutsy” you regret not doing? What is it?

Please answer in no more than 25 words the above question. (Answer only one of the 3 questions.) Please send a photo of you to go along with your answer.

My Answer: I wish I’d become an international journalist to help the public understand global issues. (Christiane Amanpour, is my gutsy hero.)

Sonia -2 — Reflecting on a career as an international journalist.

I’m putting a short video together with “gutsy” dreams of people around the world, and wish to share these in my video. Please e-mail me at: Sonia@soniamarsh.com with your (one sentence-one photo contribution.) I shall notify you if your sentence is selected. The sooner you send it, the better your chances of being selected.

This video will be no more than 1minute 30 seconds, so please keep it brief.

I am starting a Pubslush campaign next week, offering various “Gutsy” levels of incentives. I hope you’ll be interested in seeing the fun, final video and more on the incentives. (Updates coming soon.)

If selected, your sentence and photo will be featured, and your website link. Click here to read more about the event.

The goal of the My Gutsy Story^® Anthology series is to build a safe community aimed at helping one another overcome life’s challenges, encourage adventure and grow stronger with the knowledge that there are always options in life.

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”

(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)

The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August.

Next Monday, August 12th, look for Suellen Zima’s story.

“My Gutsy Story®” Janet Givens

August 5, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 9 Comments

Leaving A Life I Loved: When the Peace Corps Beckoned

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” Lucille Ball

I joined the Peace Corps June 10, 2004. I was 55 and my husband Woody was ten years older. The application process took us two years, as our commitment to Peace Corps would be.

I’d initially ignored my husband’s suggestion, two years earlier, that I “just check out their website.” But after two weeks of seeing him so excited by the idea, I finally did.

He’d sprung his “I think we should join Peace Corps” idea in late May of 2002. At that time we’d not yet been married three years and — critical piece here — he’d retired the year before. For nearly thirty years, he’d been a professor of Speech Science at Temple University in Philadelphia and had traveled and written widely in his chosen subfield, stuttering. He was looking for a new challenge. I was not.

I already had a life I loved, including a new career. After a lifetime in the non-profit world raising money and organizing volunteers, I’d completed an extensive three-year training in Gestalt psychotherapy and, five years early, had opened what came to be an inherently rewarding private practice in the living room of my three-story Italianate home on Philadelphia’s west side.

I also loved playing host parents with Woody to foreign students living on our third floor. They came generally from parts of Asia and South America, and were enrolled in the University of Pennsylvania’s ESL program. The students filled our home with youthful energy, new ways of seeing the world, and a very nice rental income.

It was a life I envisioned having into my eighties. But, the Peace Corps had been a dream of mine since I’d watched my college classmates join and go off to parts unknown nearly forty years before. I hadn’t applied in 1971 because I was sure the stuttering I’d struggled with since childhood would keep me out.

By 2002, my stuttering had been a non-issue for many years. Besides, Woody felt that if we were ever going to go, the time was then — he wasn’t getting any younger, after all. Browsing through their website, reading about the places we could go, people we could meet, work that was waiting for us, I was smitten. Within two weeks, we’d sent in our online applications. I could be a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) after all.

My memoir, At Home On the Kazakh Steppe, tells the story of this mid-life jump into the unknown. But it doesn’t tell much about what I left behind. Somehow, writing about it felt like whining. I did, after all, join voluntarily. I did sell my Philadelphia home with the six-foot-long tub and French bidet I’d added during renovations only a few years before. I’d sold my two-year old car for one-third what I’d paid for it. I’d parted with furniture I loved; hundreds of books, some of them mine since high school; closets full of clothes; stuff. It was all just stuff, I reminded myself. And it still feels like whining. Except for Merlin.

A rescued greyhound, Merlin came into our lives in August of 1999. Woody and I joke that we got married just so we could adopt him. Not my first dog by any means, but a different dog than any I’d had before. He carried himself with a graceful dignity that let us know that chasing a silly ball — never mind bringing it back just to do it again — was beneath him. He taught me patience (ever a challenge), and he was truly the world’s fastest couch potato. He and I bonded quickly, and life without him was unthinkable. Until the Peace Corps entered the picture.

During the final year that it took for our medical clearance to come through, we lined up a foster home for him. But in the weeks before our departure, the family’s circumstances changed and they had to renege. With two weeks to go before we were scheduled to leave, we found a second family who wanted him, but they would take him only if they could keep him. I was devastated. After forty-eight hours of angry, broken-hearted sobs, I signed him over to them permanently.
Such was the pull that becoming a PCV had on me.

Though I’d wanted to join Peace Corps for nearly forty years, by the spring of 2002, there was an even stronger pull on me to join. With the fall of the Twin Towers, Woody and I felt an unusual type of patriotism. Initially proud of the outpouring of public sympathy, even from longtime adversaries of our country, we were dismayed to find that support evaporating as our country drew closer and closer to war. We wanted to take a stand, make a statement, and be counted among those who preferred peace.

Janet Givens Photo 23 — The Kara-Kengir river flowed into and through Zhezkazgan, where we lived. A bit upriver, and out of town, this was the scene of a great picnic one May afternoon.

I’ve only mentioned the permanent losses (or what I believed at the time were permanent; we actually did get Merlin back and enjoyed him for four more years). I haven’t talked about leaving behind my network of friends and colleagues, not being able to participate in two years of my grandchildren’s lives, or leaving the rest of my family: the part of my life I put on hold.

Some of this was mitigated by technology: the Internet was far more available than I ever imagined it could be in a Peace Corps country. But the pain of letting go of attachments — what had, according to the Buddhist teachings I am drawn to, created my misery — did not hit me until it was too late to grab any of them back.

Janet Givens Zhezkazgan — These ladies sold paper products at the bazaar in Kazakhstan. They wanted their faces to get to America.

People often comment on how brave we were. I can see how it might look that way: newly married, older couple abandons worldly possessions in pursuit of loftier goals. But I never felt it took any particular courage. In fact, I’ve come to believe that by leaving so much of what I valued behind, I was more committed to success — to “making a difference” — than I might have been otherwise, though I was never sure what that “difference” might be.
In writing my memoir, I’ve discovered the difference I really made was in me.

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NOTE: The Peace Corps is a U.S. State Department program begun in 1961 by President John F Kennedy. Since it’s beginning, it has had three goals: To provide training and skills to countries that ask for our help, to bring aspects of our culture to the people in these foreign lands, and (when we return) to teach about these cultures to the people of the United States.

The Peace Corps has no upper age limit and requires only that their volunteers be US citizens and have either a college degree or “life experience that can be taught” (such as farming or fishing). There is a lengthy application process, background check, and a quite detailed medical clearance is required. For more information, their website is www.peacecorps.gov

JANET GIVENS BIO: Just when her life felt right — new home, new grandchildren, new career, new husband — Janet Givens left it all behind and, with her new husband, joined the Peace Corps.

The latest of many jumps into the unknown, her two years in Peace Corps were filled with struggles, surprises, and rewards, vividly recalled in her memoir, At Home on the Kazakh Steppe, out later this year.

Fascinated with the “Oh no” moments that make us gasp and curious about behaviors and beliefs we often take for granted, she blogs about negotiating boundaries, making connections, and embracing transitions at http://janetgivens.com/blog. Join her on Twitter @GivensJanet, and on her Facebook Page: Janet_Givens_Author, as well as her own FB Personal Profile: givensj48

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Since I have a strong desire to join the Peace Corps, it was interesting for me to read how you felt prior to leaving. I look forward to reading your memoir and the adventures and misadventures you had while in Kazakhstan. The part that intrigued me was your personal discovery. “I’ve discovered the difference I really made was in me.” This is what happened to me after my year in Belize.

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”

(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)

The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Vote for your Favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®”

August 1, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

The voting starts right now for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Vote on Sidebar. Only ONE vote each.

Our first moving story of the month was from Liz Burgess.

Liz reminds us that learning to be patient and to accept change is not easy, and her story about “letting go,” is inspiring.

Our second story this month is by Sharon Leaf.

Sharon’s story has two important messages: Are you going to let fear rule you? You don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy—four gym lockers will do.

Our third story is by Patti Hall.

Patti has such an inspiring story about how she focused on her passion to write while overcoming the loss of her husband.

Our fourth story is by Destiny Allison.

Another inspiring story about how Destiny turned her love for sculpting into a profitable business, and how she found a way to juggle her business and home life with three kids, as a single mother.

Our fifth story is by Donald Dempsey.

Considering Donald’s own childhood, with an abusive mother, I found his story fascinating, especially how much he wanted to give his son everything he did not have as a child.

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Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Visit us on Monday August 5th. Janet Givens will be sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

“My Gutsy Story®” Donald Dempsey

July 29, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 10 Comments

Birth

“Listen, I need you to understand what we’re up against going in,” the Doctor said again. His almost serene manner was infuriating. He kept gazing at me like he was waiting for me to understand, or explode. “There is a very real possibility the baby won’t make it. You will need to be strong for your wife.”

My wife was a nineteen-year-old girl in a room down the hall. She was currently hooked up to so many tubes and machines that it was hard to look at her without fainting. She was pale and frightened, and in pain. It was more than six weeks before the baby’s due date and she’d lost nearly twenty pounds, instead of gaining weight like a normal, healthy mother-to-be. Her appearance was haunting and surreal.

I felt more helpless and scared than at any other time in my life.

“I understand.”

“We expect the baby to weigh somewhere between 2 and 2-1/2 pounds, and we’ve taken every precaution. I have a specialist here who will take charge of the baby as soon as we deliver. Your wife will probably require some special attention during and after delivery.” He leaned forward and peered at me to stress his next point, his eyes widening a bit. “If you can’t remain calm and supportive it would be best if you waited this out with her family.”

Afterward, I washed my face with water and caught my reflection in the mirror above the sink. I was looking pretty haggard myself. Little sleep, long hours in the factory, and the stress of my wife’s difficult pregnancy was taking a toll. I noticed my hands trembling. My breathing was irregular. My heart was pumping so loudly I could hear it.

Without planning to I reached over and locked the door, then flicked off the light. I could still see a shadow of myself in the mirror. There was a hum of activity on the other side of the door. I hated myself for feeling so weak. I detested being afraid. My normal response to these emotions was anger. I could get downright hostile when pushed on. Such a response would do me no good in my present situation. In fact, such a response never did me any good. I just hadn’t learned that valuable lesson yet.

I dropped my head and began to talk. My hands gripped the cool porcelain of the sink. My words were quiet, but earnest and sincere. I wasn’t religious but I did believe in God. I had learned a few things about churches and pastors, none of them pleasant. But I found myself praying nonetheless, hoping that God would hear me and take pity on my wife and unborn son. It didn’t take long until I was on my knees and begging.

I promised I would be a better father than the man I had never known had been to me. I beseeched God for the chance to break the cycle of pain and despair I’d been born into. My troubled childhood and a stint in the Marine Corps had transformed me into a young man who was hard to get close to. Dropping my pride wasn’t easy. I had always counted on myself during tough times. It would be years before life would teach me how important humility truly was.

As I composed myself I felt the familiar anger rising, but squelched it. I knew I was at a crossroads. I had come so far, overcome so much. I’d worked hard to put the past behind me. But I knew if something happened to my wife or son I was going to suffer terribly. I didn’t think I’d be able to get past such a tragedy. I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to deal with anymore pain.

A few grueling hours later I was peering through a glass window at my infant son. My wife was resting comfortably. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d done it. I was certain it was going to be many years before I recovered from the harrowing experience we’d just survived. As low as I’d been before the delivery, I now found myself surging with hope and promise. I couldn’t stop smiling. I kept touching the glass and leaning toward my son, straining to get a better look. I had never been happier than at that moment.

A man next to me chuckled. “Your first?” I barely glanced at him but nodded. “Yeah, I can tell.” He didn’t sound nearly as excited as I was. “Which one’s yours?”

I pointed. A nurse was still attending my son, taking blood from the sole of one of his feet. He was squirming and giving her hell. “The good looking one,” I told him needlessly.

“A boy,” he muttered. “Good for you. That’s my third girl over there.” I glanced in the direction he indicated and smiled just to be polite. “You won’t be nearly so excited the second or third time around.”

I wasn’t listening to him any longer. What did he know? My son was going to change my life. He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something. He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be. Everyone would see. All that I never had would be his. I’d see to that. No matter how many hours I had to work, there would be no sacrifice I wouldn’t make. He was going to want for nothing and have everything.

My life changed drastically that day. Almost every decision I made from that point on was focused on that boy. He became my reason for living. I pushed for the best grades and accepted nothing less. I demanded success from him in every athletic endeavor, and there were many. And I never forgot my promise to God. I gave him everything I never had, and I never walked away.

The poor kid.

About the Author:

Don Dempsey experienced childhood abuse and neglect first hand, but went on to have a fulfilling family life as an adult and to own his own business. “If you’re lucky, you make it to adulthood in one piece,” says Don. “But there’s no guarantee the rest of your life is going to be any better. Abused kids are often plagued by fear and insecurity. They battle depression and have trouble with relationships. In the worst cases, abused children perpetuate the cycle.” But Don is living proof that you can overcome a childhood of abuse and neglect. “You start by letting go of as much of the guilt (yes, abused kids feel guilty) and as many of the bad memories as possible. At the same time, you hold on to the things that helped you survive. For me, it was the belief that you can make life better by working at it and earning it. It helps to have a sense of humor, too.”
Find out more about the author by visiting him online:

Betty’s Child website: www.BettysChild.com
Donald Dempsey Facebook: www.facebook.com/donald.dempsey.3
Twitter hashtag: #BCDempsey
You can order Betty’s Child on Amazon

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Thank you Donald for sharing your life-changing moment, when your son was born. I found it so moving when you said,

“My son was going to change my life. He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something. He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be. Everyone would see.”

After reading this, I realized how much you wanted to give your son everything you did not have as a child, but then I thought about the pressure on your son to become your “reason for living.” Also to get “the best grades” and how you “accepted nothing less.” I love the way you ended with “The poor kid.”

(Donald Dempsey is on a blog tour with WOW! Women on Writing. I requested he write a “My Gutsy Story®” which he accepted.)

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Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess and Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall all sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

Do You Know Someone “Gutsy” in Your Community?

July 25, 2013 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

100_1418test_small2 — Sonia Marsh on her son’s unicycle

Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community?

We need your help. Please nominate a “Gutsy” person in one of the following locations.

Orange County
San Diego
Los Angeles

Send us their name, and a 200 word max. e-mail about why this person is “Gutsy.” Please send e-mail to: gutsyanthology@gmail.com

We would like to bring them on stage for the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” event for the launch of our first Anthology on September 26th, in Orange County, CA.

For more information, and to sign-up for the event, please click on the event page and sign-up to attend. It’s FREE.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

When: September 26, 2013.

Where: Regency South Coast Village 3, 1561 W. Sunflower Avenue, Santa Ana, Calif. (MAP)

Time: 6 to 9 p.m. (Photos of where we shall be here.)

There is no charge for the event, whose theme is “Bring Out the Gutsy in You.” I hope attendees will be inspired to step out of their comfort zone, take risks and follow their passion.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess , Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall and Destiny Allison all sharing their “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.