Archives for 2015

Am I Going to Live on Papa in Lesotho?

July 23, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 13 Comments

I’m getting prepared for my 27 months in the Mountain Kingdom of Lesotho, in southern Africa, and it looks like I’m going to live on Papa in Lesotho. Papa even has its own special wooden utensil for mixing.

Papa, seems to be the main starch eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s bland, so you can add milk for breakfast or vegetables for dinner.

“At the heart of the Basotho diet is a corn-based food called papa. Papa is served almost every lunch and dinner. Papa le moroho (cooked greens), papa le nama (meat), papa le lebese (milk), papa le linaoa (beans), papa le beet root, paper le lihoete (carrots), papa le mahe (eggs); the possibilities are endless. This is because papa is a classic starch. It is a mildly flavored, completely unseasoned base to every meal.” — Beth Spencer.

My author friend Lauri Kubuitsile from Botswana, introduced me to Rethabile from Lesotho, who now lives in Paris. He then informed me about a chef from Lesotho and her cookbook. Here is a BBC video on Chef Ska Mirriam Motteane, and her goal to teach women to become chefs in Lesotho.

The Mountain Kingdom Cover_ — Click on cover to see on Amazon

I’m also reading Greg’s fascinating memoir, The Mountain School, and learning about what to expect as a primary education teacher in Lesotho. I’m so excited to meet him for lunch tomorrow in San Diego. Greg lived in Lesotho as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and as I’ve connected with other Peace Corps Volunteers and shall be asking him to answer all of our questions about his life as a primary education teacher in the Mountain Kingdom. I’m already learning about what to expect.

I hope there is more to eat in Lesotho than Papa, and Moroho.

Moroho consists of greens: spinach, cabbage, collard greens etc. I shall have to bring some seeds to plant my own vegetables.

I wonder where I shall get my protein from? Eggs? They have beef, mutton and chicken, but Papa, seems to form the main part of the dish.

Anyway, I’m getting more and more excited about this life change, and hopefully the Peace Corps won’t turn me down at the last minute for some medical reason. I’ve uploaded all my medical and dental exams to their portal, which is quite time-consuming.

If you have any suggestions as to what to bring or to plant, please let me know.

What’s It Like to Date In Your 50s

July 21, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

Please click on photo to read article: 3 Reasons Why Dating in Your 50's is Fabulous — Please click on photo to read article: 3 Reasons Why Dating in Your 50’s is Fabulous

I’ve been dating, so I figured I’d share what it’s like to date in your 50s, and don’t worry, there’s no naughty stuff here.

The best way to date in your 50s, and to not get upset or frustrated, is to treat dating as a research project rather than an act of desperation.

Why do women never seem to give up on the “Cinderella” dream, even when we’re in our 50s?

If you’re confident, and have “semi-realistic” goals, regarding what you consider to be your ideal mate, you’d better start developing a sense of humor if you want to stay sane in today’s online dating world.

Dating in your 50s, and older, is like dating in your twenties but worse.

My Observations:

Most people lie about their age, stating that they’re ten years younger in their online profile. I don’t lie about my age. I’m 57, and proud of it. I plan to continue being honest about my age even though men say they want younger women. The opposite is true as well.
Most men are fatter and older than their photos. (To be fair, I’ve heard the same comment coming from men, about women mis-representing themselves on their photos.) We don’t need to show what we looked like at 25, when we’re 65!
Most men in the U.S. think that a motorcycle or a sporty car, is the way to get a woman’s attention. Come on, can’t you be a little more creative/different? The men I saw on U.K. dating sites had more intellectual photos, like “swinging in a hammock and reading a “real book.” OK, I don’t care for motorcycles, or fancy cars, as I don’t believe it’s your car, when I see a Lamborghini. Why are you on a free dating site if you’re so successful? I’m sure many women are attracted to your materialistic toys, but that’s not me. I’d prefer to see you on a camel in the Sahara desert, or scrubbing the elephants on a vacation in Thailand. At least that’s different, and shows that you’re unique and stand out from the rest.
Women don’t like to see a man’s photo with an ex-spouse or girlfriend clinging onto him, even if he’s tried to photoshop her out of the photo. We are good at detecting red nail polish, especially when it’s grabbing your waist.
Women especially don’t want to see you with that “boyish” grin on your face when half-naked show girls cling to your sides. That might impress your guy friends, but not a woman whom you’re asking out on a date.

Here’s my advice.

Treat dating as a research project and you can learn something from it, I promise.
You can learn about yourself, and what’s important to you in a relationship when you date.
You can enjoy the company of another man when there’s a stimulating conversation.
You can become a journalist, and take notes for your next article or novel.
If there is no connection, dig for that one quality or quirk that you find fascinating and use it in your next novel.
You can learn to become more accepting and tolerant.
You can laugh, especially if you haven’t been out on a date in a while.
You can learn to figure out the best way to escape without hurting the other person’s feelings.
You can become friends, although I’ve been told that men hate to hear, “Let’s be friends.”
If you’re looking for love, you can move slowly and see what develops.

Here’s a video on dating after 50. They selected 6 women, and here’s the message I got from this, that rings true:

“You can learn about yourself and what you’re willing to accept.”

Here’s a 15 minute podcast on “How to Attract Your Soul-Mate.”

“If you’re thinking about getting back into dating after a long hiatus, take the time to figure out what fits for you now versus what fit for you when you were in your twenties. Be open to trying new things and moving out of your comfort zone. And, if by chance the opportunity for a passionate romance, comes you way, I say go for it!”– Karen Kanya Daley, MA/MFT

In the meantime, to all the women out there waiting for a date with the “right” man for you, why not enjoy Magic Mike XXL for therapy. I have seen it twice.

Any comments? Please share your stories or points of view.

Less Stuff = Freedom + Happiness

July 14, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 6 Comments

empty-room-with-bed — Click on photo to go to website

I’m a “happy” person so why did I buy a book called, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D?

Because it explains why I want to go back to Africa, and work with people who have far less than me. Here’s why:

“While levels of material prosperity are on the rise, so are levels of depression. Even though our generation–in most Western countries as well as in an increasing number of places in the East–is wealthier than previous generations, we are not happier for it.” —Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I have become happier with less “stuff,” and why I’m attracted to living a simple life.

I don’t have a home, or furniture, except for two armchairs, a Chinese chest, and a tropical painting that inspires me to stay “gutsy.” Nothing within my control can prevent me from following my passion to ‘be free’ and experience new adventures.

Volunteering in a Mayan Village in Belize in 2009, and seeing these beautiful children, full of smiles, made me realize that happiness does not come from having stuff. Look at the small girl on the left; her parents can’t afford a pair of shoes.

Belize kids — The children I met while volunteering in a Mayan village in Red Bank, Belize, 2009.

Here’s what makes me happy.

Click on Photo- credit from malidoma.com

Am I being selfish in wanting to work with children in Africa? Perhaps. I realize that there are going to be many challenges adapting to a new life in Lesotho, in southern Africa, but just to feel the love and enthusiasm of the children, is enough to fuel my own energy.

I became fascinated with photo-journalist Alissa Everett, and what she has done to bring us closer to the positive side of what we don’t see in African countries, such as the DRC-(Democratic Republic of Congo.) She is truly “gutsy” and not only has she served in the Peace Corps, which is what I shall be doing starting in October, 2015, (Read more here) but she shares her stories during my interview with her.

This is her recent wedding photo with a message, I truly love.

Alissa Everett's wedding photo credit — Alissa Everett’s wedding photo credit

I realize we are all different, however, it saddens me to see people who have everything in life to be happy, and yet they’re unhappy.

Who Has Time to Read Long Blog Posts These Days?

July 6, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 21 Comments

attention-spans-shorter-longer-1024x512 — Click on photo to go to Nick Leffler’s post for more details

Who has time to read long blog posts these days, let alone take the time to comment?

I wish I did, but I don’t.

I only have time to read a few blog posts a week. Forget crafting detailed and thoughtful comments, the way I used to a few years ago. I know I’m not alone here; other bloggers have expressed the same.

Things are changing in the blogging world, and just as I was about to write, “Our attention spans have decreased,” I found a better reason expressed by Nick Leffler in his blog post:

“Attention spans aren’t getting shorter, they’re becoming more selective for good content.”

— Nick Leffler

After all, states Nick, we’re able to sit through a 3+hour movie, so our attention spans have not decreased.

As Nick Leffler says:

“We’re getting more selective about what we pay attention to. There’s a lot of information coming at us. It used to be just newspapers where we got our news, then came radio, then TV, then Internet, then our brains exploded.

There’s a lot of great stuff to read, watch, and listen to. There’s also a ton of crap.

Attention spans haven’t gotten shorter, they’re just more selective for good content. So if I’m not writing good content, I’ll lose my audience within 8 seconds and it’s not their fault, it’s 100% mine.”

There is presently a shift towards writing shorter (300-word) blog posts. How do you feel about that?

There is of course an exception to this; longer, more detailed posts (about 1,000 words or more,) from experts who cover specific topics that readers are searching for.

So from now on, I’m going to write shorter blog posts, whenever I have something to share. My upcoming adventures lend themselves to shorter more frequent posts, just like we see on FaceBook.

What about you. Are you changing the length of your posts?

Ian Mathie: A Life of Adventure, Danger and Excitement in Africa

June 30, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 3 Comments

Ian Mathie, one of my favorite memoir authors, has packed more adventure, danger and excitement during his thirty years in Africa, than anyone living a ‘normal’ life at home.

I spent a weekend with Ian and his wife, Gay, in their village about an hour north-west of London in Warwickshire. I had just finished my TESOL course in Greenwich, London, and needed a relaxing weekend.

The countryside was magnificent, and so green, compared to the drought we’re experiencing in southern California.

Ian met me at the Banbury train station, and drove me to his lovely home.

Warwickshire countryside where Ian Mathie lives

During my visit, Ian showed me the chest where he keeps several African artifacts, that make his memoirs come to life. For example, the monkey below, was the actual carving in his book Bride Price , the first book I read from Ian’s collection. It was so interesting to see the actual collecting basket which Abélé (from Bride Price) took into the forest each day to gather fruit and roots. (Scroll down to see it.)

Hardwood carving of a monkey – makaka – made as part of the bride price he paid for Abélé by Mputu Ngakwe.

Cooking pot made to replace the one I broke. Made in a spiral from clay taken from the river bank and baked on the fire outside my hut. It still works!

Ikobio – woven and plaited raffia mats presented by Mputu as part of ibene (bride price) paid for Abélé. Some are stained by smoke and tar from where they were stored in the rafters above the cooking fire.

baPende dancing mask made by one of the village men for me to use at Abélé’s wedding. Made from softwood and raffia, coloured with sap from a forest vine.

A comb made for me by Abélé from bamboo and palm fibres.

The collecting basket which Abélé took into the forest each day to gather fruit and roots. When she married she gave the basket to me and made herself a new one as her first married duty.

Three ndaba hoes made for me by our village blacksmith in Anéhigouya,Upper Volta (called Burkina Faso today.) Each is a traditional design and is used for different purposes from farming to well digging.

Two Akua fertility dolls, from Ghana. Made from soft wood, these are not made to last. They would be placed in their fields to encourage the yams to grow strongly and allowed gradually to rot away in the weather, returning fertility to the earth.

A pair of traditional embroidered leather slippers peculiar to the northern region. Given to Dad in 1961 as a gift of Alhaji Muhamadu Aminu, the Emir of Zaria, on the first anniversary of Nigerian Independence Day.

A traditional Hausa knife with a leather scabbard. This is the knife with which I won the goat skinning competition at the Zaria Agricultural Show in 1961. It was very blunt when first handed to me and I had to sharpen it on a stone before killing the goat and skinning it.

Ian Mathie interviewed on Gutsy Google Hangout

One year ago, I interviewed Ian about his life in Africa. You can watch the entire interview below.
Ian submitted a story to the “My Gutsy Story” series. It’s a camel story at the Bilma Oasis in Niger.Ian is not only a brilliant author, but a good friend and supporter of my desire to serve in Africa with the Peace Corps. Ian Mathie was born in Scotland and taken to Africa aged three, Ian Mathie grew up in the bush. After short service as a pilot in the RAF, he returned to West Africa as a rural development officer. Well adapted to living in the bush, Ian worked with isolated societies, sharing their hardships and understanding cultures from the inside.