Where do you start when you experience a life changing event?
For several days now, I’ve mulled over the notes in my journal; the one I kept during my week volunteering at a medical mission in the Mayan village of Red Bank, in Belize, and I keep coming back to the same phrase spoken by nurse Judy Krieg, our contact in Belize.
This is Judy, always giving to others.
We call her “The Mother Theresa/Indiana Jones of Belize.” One of the first pieces of advice she gave to all eleven nurses from Orange County and myself was, “Open your heart first if you want to help.” During orientation, she described how we should approach Mayan women and their children. “Look that mother in the eye and touch her child,” she said. “She will remember you if you give her your undivided attention, and that makes all the difference in the mother and her child’s life.”
So why am I writing about Judy’s comment rather than sharing our travel adventures, beautiful accommodations at Belizean Dreams in Hopkins Village,
Xunantunich archeological site and Thatch Caye magical island resort? Because I want to focus on one aspect only, and that is what happened to change my thought process.
I realized that all mothers are the same despite our differences in skin color and level of education. A mother is a mother, even if she doesn’t know her child’s birthday. The love she feels for her child is universal. During a brief moment, my eyes locked with a Mayan mother cradling her sick five-year-old daughter. The tiny girl reminded me of a doll. Her long eyelashes looked sticky and sealed shut; her yellow dress clung to her skinny chest and limbs like a wet rag. Was it the humidity or a fever? I watched the mother pull back wet strands of dark hair glued to scabs around her daughter’s nostrils. For one brief second, the mother and I had a rare connection. I felt intense love for her and the child and then I had to turn away. I started to cry.
A four-month-old little boy. He was the chubbiest of all the kids I saw. Adorable.
I have a wonderful life, and there I was staring at a Mayan mother, who might lose a child to disease or malnutrition. My kids are getting an education and have food. This woman is doing the best she can, and I felt ashamed to be judging her as uneducated and “inferior,” to me. I realized that I was simply lucky to be born with the life I have. Why me and not her?
The island of Ambergris Caye where my family lived from 2004-2005 seemed different, or perhaps it’s my outlook that has changed. Have you experienced a complete change in how you perceive a place after coming back?
The mothers are lucky to have you care for them. Good for you.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences from Belize.
To answer you last question, yes I have. Coming back to Canada for a visit after 13 years away, was an eye opener. Many people there strive only for the luxury´s in life. Their goal is to plan one vacation to the next. And years in advance!! Which exotic place have we not been to yet? is the biggest question in their minds.
Of course not all are like this, but many, and it brought many things into perspective for me.
I´m glad you had such an eye opening experience in Belize and hope it will stay with you in your "real life". 🙂
It sounds like your heart was totally open to your experience and that you let all that you saw become a part of you. Your "Mother Theresa/Indiana Jones sounds like a very wise woman. I wish we had answers to why some have struggles in life that others can't begin to imagine.
How wonderful for you to focus on the most important aspect of your trip!
I spent three years as a volunteer teacher in China back in the 80s and will never again judge anyone as inferior to me or wrong. I lost my selfishness over those long years and realized that there are many different ways of doing things and more than one right way.
Most importantly, we are all people – no matter what we look like.
@Kay
Thanks for your comment. We were also lucky to be given this opportunity.
@CairoTyp0
it's been a long time since I visited you. I wonder if you're still in the U.S.?
@Betty
Glad to read the point you made. My experience was more personal in that I had changed the way I viewed life. Perhaps getting older is another factor.
@Jeanie
Yes, you are right. I was open to listening and learning, but when the Mayan woman looked into my eyes, I like we were on the same page.
@LadyFi
I do love your last sentence, "We are all people-no matter what we look like." Thanks.
Sounds like you had an amazing experience. It's always good to be jolted out of our own lives, you seem to go to the extremes to do so, ;-), which makes you a special person. Not everyone would go to such lengths to help others.
My life changing experience was when my toddler grandson died four times and was brought back to life, but they told us he would be a vegetable but he came to and was talking and re-learning how to sit up and then he suffered more seizures, even more brain damage, (due to an incorrect diagnosis), and our families had to endure the roller coaster ride all over again. Watching a baby go through all this has changed me forever.
I think we always see things a little differently when we go back. Being away helps us to gain perspective. It sounds like this trip had a positive impact on you.
You have so much love inside of you which you are willing to give to complete strangers to help them. The women and their children you meet there are so fortunate to have you crossing their path in life.
I really loved reading about this Sonia. Judy's quote is so perfect, we should always keep that in mind.
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in". You follow it with love and this is a great. Hugs.
Great experience and spirit of service and ministry. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the comments on Family Fountain about the book, and esp. your insights into the divorce/marriage discussion.
You have a lot of wisdom. I'm sorry I haven't been visitng here more often recently. Too much going on. Off to Calif. now for speaking engagement – Placerville area.
it's gratefulness, dear sonia……it changes your vision, and your life….talk to you soon
Sonia,
Why not me? is a question I've often asked myself during my years in developing countries. There you cannot help but be confronted with people who have a more difficult life simply by being born in a particular place.
There is no answer to this question, at least I have not found one. But at least we have this awareness of it and can respond by being grateful and helping where we can.
One of the more difficult issues for me is being back in the "rich" world and finding the general culture is so geared toward wanting to have it all and feeling the entitlement to having it all. Which is not to say that there are not people we are disadvantaged in the West. I'm speaking generally, of course.
I'm interested to know how you are going to process your experience in Belize in the next few weeks. Do you have people you can talk to about it? Are people interested?
@ Elizabeth
I can only imagine how life changing and traumatic that must be for you and the parents of your grandson. How is he doing today?
@Brenda
I am interested to hear how you viewed San Francisco when you came back and how you might feel when you return to Paraguay.
@Jientje
This is a new experience for me, and I have to say, I feel like I've lived a more selfish life, which I'm willing to change, now that I'm getting older and my kids are leaving home.
@Phivos
Yes, that is a great way to live life. I wonder why it's difficult for so many of us to live that way?
@Warren
Don't worry about visiting. I've been slow myself and hope you have a great experience in California, talking about your book.
@Donna
Thanks Donna. Look forward to our next chat.
@Miss Footloose
You always open up interesting topics. I feel like we should both have "presentations" together, although you have more experience living in different countries than I do. One thing Belize always seems to do for me, is to give me a "relaxed" attitude towards life. It's almost as if I come back more calm and people actually comment on that. "You look so refreshed." I think it's the "I don't care about not conforming to the way life is pushing me in Orange County. I don't want to rush like everyone else. I want to enjoy nature and people." Now the secret is, "How do you make that last in a busy society?"
This touched me deeply, Sonia. I have goosebumps and my eyes are wet. I hope I get to do something like this one day. You. are. amazing. And so are all those beautiful mothers and their children.
I think that it is so great that you gave of your time to these people. Often people feel that a monitory donation is all they want to do and while that is *always* greatly appreciated, time is just as valuable and can be even harder to come by. I love hearing about your travels.
Judy sounds like an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing about her 🙂 I love her words of advice. That's so true and it's sometimes the truest things that are the hardest to put into words.
Thank you for sharing your experience in Belize with us.
Years ago, I use to volunteer in a nursing home and I must say sometimes I was near tears. It's always a mixed feeling, tears of sadness, but also of joy, and hope.
Hello Sonia,
I came here via BLOGitse, and have been reading through your thoughtful posts. I've never lived out of England so I don't have the experiences you talk about to fall back on. What you say, and the impact it has all had on you, is very similar to what I see on TV. Next Friday will be our regular annual TV charity evening, which grew out of Live Aid. Each year it raises millions of £££ for children and adults in need both in Africa and in this country. Celebrities go to Africa prior to the event and are filmed in the kinds of situations you've faced, and often with similar results – they break down in tears. As for the question why did I get to be so lucky, being born in this country instead of those women whose lives are so different from mine, I ask myself that question often. And I can't come up with a valid reason. What I do know is that life in a developing country is often poorer only in cash terms. In terms of community and values I believe they are often richer.
Janice.