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“I Became the Man I Always Wanted to Marry” — Inge Bird

July 14, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

Me full length

“I Became the Man I Always Wanted to Marry”

“My Gutsy Story®” by Inge Bird

A while ago a friend told me that my childhood experiences probably gave me the tooIs to deal with cancer. I have been giving her comment a lot of thought lately. Looking back, I can say my life journey (so far) as been one hell of a ride. I have no regrets. There have been points in my life where I seemed to always be swimming against the tide though.

My mother was an addict. Her drug of choice was codeine. Back in the 60s doctors (or maybe it was just our family doctor) wrote prescriptions anytime a patient asked for them. My mom ate codeine pills like they were candy and washed them down with good old-fashioned whisky. When I turned ten, she wanted me to join “the party.” I never liked the taste of alcohol so I pretended to go along, to keep from getting a beating. My dad worked a lot. He was pretty much an absent parent. I don’t blame him, when he was home he was the brunt of my mother’s anger.

Two months shy of my eighteenth birthday, I had a chance to get away from my abusive home-life and hit the road in a compact car, with two boys and set out for North Carolina. At night I slept in a sleeping bag outside closed businesses and looking back, I probably looked like a bonafide Hippie. I had no life skills and was pretty naïve, but I learned to be street smart pretty quickly. For the next few years I dated abusive men, before settling down and marrying a drunk. I believed I could change him. Don’t we all?

We had a son and that’s when I changed. I would not allow my child to grow up in the same environment I did. The cycle ended with me. I became independent. I left my husband. A few years later my dad had a serious heart attack and me and my son moved back to California.

I was working at a women’s clothing store, when one day I saw an ad in the local newspaper for a delivery person. It was the early 80s and women didn’t take delivery jobs, especially delivering “auto parts.” I got the job because I was the only person who brought a resume to the interview, I had zero experience delivering stuff and knew less about cars.

My manager at the clothing store thought I was crazy to take such a “menial” job and insisted it was not lady-like. She gave me all kinds of grief over my decision, but I was about to double my pay, get health insurance for me and my son and become a Teamster.

I would be delivering auto parts to local repair shops for a dealership. Learning my job was easy. Working with the male employees was another story. Some resented that I was doing a job that “rightfully” belonged to a man who needed to support his family. “

“What’s wrong with you?” they would ask. “Couldn’t you find a man to take care of you?”

Sexual harassment on the job was a common occurrence in the 80s and working in a male-dominated auto industry was no exception. The company’s break room walls were lined with centerfold pictures from Penthouse and Playboy. If I wanted to buy a drink from the soda machine, I had to push the “tits,” ass,” or “bush” buttons. One day I brought in a centerfold picture of a naked male and taped it to the break room wall. All hell broke loose! The guys were “creeped out.” and it was immediately removed. When I complained about the double standard, I became the company “bitch.” The men’s pictures of naked women stayed.

Mind you, my mother had called me lots more creative names than the men so I learned to tune those guys out. I was also gone most of the day, delivering auto parts. I rarely got help loading my small Toyota truck, except with the heavy auto engines. If I was going to do a man’s job, then I would have to do it alone.

I think working in that type of environment made me stronger,not just physically, but emotionally. It taught me to never give up.

Then I remarried. My dad died soon after and I found myself in “crisis.” Not giving in I went to group counseling and read self-help books. Not giving up I started college, wanting to learn more about the world. Soon everything I thought I believed in was challenged and I became what Rush Limbaugh likes to call a “Femi-nazi.” My new husband was overwhelmed by the “new me” and decided it was better if we parted ways.

Still I continued my education and new-found activism, like organizing and participating in marches against the war. I fought to save the planet, the whales and whatever else needed saving. I became the man I always wanted to marry (just kidding). I was happy with my independence. I would never be a victim again.

Then cancer smacked me in the butt. I had a new husband. My son was now grown. They became my support system. I owe them a great deal for helping me. I don’t know if I would have had the same successful outcome without them, but I do know I was not going down without a fight.

So my friend is probably right. Not only did my childhood prepare me for the fight against cancer but all of my life experiences laid down the groundwork for that battle.

I am not alone. I have met plenty of others who have had a “rocky” period in their lives, and it is those persons who seem to do the best. Not all of them survive, but they never give up trying. They keep showing up.

Wasn’t it Woody Allen who said, “The key to success is to keep showing up?”

INGE BIRD: I am a stage 4 rectal cancer survivor (cancer free since June 2011), speaker, healthy food advocate/activist, vegan, practicing Buddhist, ostomate,  and well-being coach. I volunteer at UCI Medical Center Infusion Center, where my main goal is to offer hope to patients getting cancer treatments. My story is also featured on the American Cancer Society’s Website “Stories of Hope.” Website: www.rectalcancermyass.wordpress.com

Join Inge on Facebook:

Join Inge on Twitter: @IngeScott

SONIA MARSH SAYS: You are one “gutsy” woman Inge, and I love your style, and proactive approach to life. The statement you made says it all:

“ I became the man I always wanted to marry.”

You are amazing, and I admire what you have done with your life.

July 21st, “My Gutsy Story®” by JAVA DAVIS

July 28th, “My Gutsy Story®” by RITA GARDNER 


 

NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

Volunteer in Africa: Tanzania, Moshi, Zanzibar, Mt. Kilimanjaro

July 10, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 3 Comments

Photo credit Peace corps website
Photo credit Peace corps website

As some of you know from my recent posts, I’m in a period of transition, re-evaluating my next move. I’ve recently trademarked:

GUTSY LIVING™

and I’m looking for other adventures, including the Peace Corps. On July 11th, I have an appointment with a Peace Corps recruiter to ask many questions, including my desire to blog for the Peace Corps, and more. Here is my list of questions for my recruiter appointment.

Peace Corps Questions

  • I am fluent in French. How likely is it they will send me to a French speaking country?
  • As a published author and blogger, can I blog for PC site?
  • Do we get to bring our laptops?
  • How likely is it that we have Internet in our country? Senegal, Madagascar, Benin, Vanuatu?
  • Any Caribbean countries that need a French speaker?
  • What about personal supplies like face cream, sunblock, toothpaste we like, etc? Can we receive care packages? How often?
  • When do we need to start the doctor/dentist visits?
  • I have a degree in Environmental Science but prefer to work with helping women and children. Is that possible?
  • Can you connect me with other women 56+ who are PC volunteers?
  • Can I work as a trainer for PC?
  • How easy is it to get a job as a recruiter for baby boomers when I return? Is it a full-time paying job?
  • Do recruiters get to travel around the US?
  • Are there other jobs available for older PC volunteers when they return?
  • An ex-PC volunteer sent me this. Is it true that I could perhaps apply for an assignment for 6 months ? “Peace Corps Response is now open to non RPCVs.  It’s a shorter term assignment, usually about 6 months, and they take volunteers with specific skills.  In your case, I’d imagine organizing and marketing.  And the fact that you are already fluent in French can be a real asset.”

Yelena Parker is a global citizen who has worked in over twenty countries, and who just completed 4 months in Moshi, Tanzania, followed by Zanzibar. I first interviewed her with Monika Fox who founded “Give a Heart to Africa” where Yelena volunteered for two months.

 

 

Follow-up Interview with Yelena Parker after her 4 months volunteering in Moshi and Zanzibar, Tanzania. She also talks about her 6-day climb up

Mt. Kilimanjaro.

 

Yelena Parker is an expert on expatriate life and has published a guidebook-meets-memoir called Moving Without Shaking, available now in Kindle format, and very soon in print format.

Yelena Parker Book Moving_Without_Shaking_Book-Cover-200x300
Click on cover to order on Amazon

 

“Finding Heaven” My Gutsy Story® – Patrice Garrett

July 7, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 2 Comments

Patrice Garrett

Finding Heaven

“My Gutsy Story®” Patrice Garrett

 

Many moons ago, when my world was young, my husband, and I packed into our old van, and headed south to Mexico for rest and relaxation.

On our travels we befriended an American hitchhiker, a likeable fellow in his late teens, who’d had his money and gear stolen. Peter spent three weeks with us, roaming dirt roads and Mayan ruins south of Cuernavaca.

He told us little about his life in the States except to say, his folks had mandated a change of scene, and shipped him West to live with his cousin, Ben.

When he finally decided to head for home, we drove him up to Mexico City and staked him to a bus ticket and pocket money. As we hugged goodbye we accepted his proffered invitation to visit him on our way back to California, and “stay as long as you like.”

“Take Black Canyon exit off the freeway. Go about ten miles. You’ll see the place off to your right. There’s no street address, but you can’t miss it,” he said, and scooted into the waiting Tres Estrellas bus.

We tooled around Mexico for two more weeks, making our way north through marketplaces and fiestas. When our trip ended, we pointed the van toward the Arizona border crossing and decided to find our mysterious friend, Peter, and say hello.

His simple instructions were easy to follow. We took the proper freeway exit, shocked, when in less than half a mile, all asphalt vanished. Wondering what we were getting into, we drove on. Surrounded by an endless, cactus studded desert, and imposing flat-topped mesas, we bumped along a dirt road in the afternoon heat, at speeds below five miles an hour. I grew anxious, picturing crazed, back-country cult communities … then suddenly, to the right and slightly below us, a vast swath of lush green appeared. There it was!

Several houses, palm trees, flowerbeds, and barns were visible as the dusty road wound down into a shallow valley. I could hardly believe my eyes when white-fenced pastures dotted with grazing horses came into view. Excitement shot through me. Worries about safety evaporated. Horses. My childhood fantasy! My wannabe inner cowgirl danced a jig.

We pulled into a dream world, where “Cookie” provided meals in the main house. All of us, Peter, his older cousin Ben, the ranch manager, horse trainers, my husband and I, gathered around a big, wooden mess table and ate beautifully prepared food. Our seating shared floor space with a priceless four hundred year-old, blue and white, porcelain Dutch oven. My husband spent afternoons in the swimming pool—a glittering jewel, set in a sea of sand.

In the evenings we tumbled into our guesthouse digs, complete with French antique furnishings, a huge comfortable bed, and centuries old Chinese embroideries, artfully hung. Stone by stone, a floor-to-ceiling fireplace climbed one full wall. There was a tiny kitchen. The bathroom offered shampoo and toothpaste, and engraved matchbooks.

My first thought was, Peter lived at some sort of fancy western dude resort. I was soon set straight. It seems that our hitchhiker was the son of an American banking family. I was in horse heaven on Ben Rockefeller’s tax loss ranch.

The first few days, I jumped out of bed early, pulled on my cowboy boots, and wandered the property. One particular animal caught my attention. She lived alone in a big pasture. A dark bay, with flecks of gold in her coat-she was a beauty. Her name was Teya, an Arabian mare, ranch hands told me, shaking their heads, warning me off.

I spoke to Peter about her, over a breakfast feast he explained she wasn’t a good horse to ride. She was hard to catch, unsociable, mistrustful, and quite uncooperative under saddle, dangerous.

Naturally, after hearing that, all I wanted to do was win her over. So, every sunup I trotted out to her paddock with an apple in hand. I stood for long times near the fence, sometimes quietly, sometimes chattering in soft tones, inviting her into my space, holding apple halves out in my palms. Finally, one day, she ever-so-slowly picked her way towards me and daintily gathered up her treat. ‘I’m gonna ride that wild horse,” I announced at dinner. Peter choked on his beef stew. My husband drained his wine glass.

Each morning, she came more quickly than she had the day before to collect her apple chunks. In less than a week, Teya let me rub her muzzle, fling my arms around her neck, and press my face into her long, thick mane. That little mare stole my heart. I never had to catch her. She willingly slipped into her bridle for me, she was all mine, and I treasured her.

My biggest delight was taking her on trail rides. We explored dry desert washes and wended our way up onto ancient mesas. Teya loved to run, hated to stop, and on narrow tracks tried to push her nose into the rear end of any horse that dared step in front of her. She had no respect for the bit. It was a challenging riding experience that came with a gift, the realization of my lifelong desire—she made a cowgirl of me. When our splendid visit came to an end, leaving Teya and Peter’s ranch was especially hard. Wrenching.

Though Teya’s gone to her reward, I always smile when I remember riding horseback on an Arab mare, some forty years ago, wearing leather gloves to protect my hands from rope-rein blisters. It changed me. I found my courage and self-confidence on her back. Because of Teya I bought my first horse. I learned that horses mirror the fears, thoughts and resolve of their riders; they decipher nuance and interpret body language. Mine have taught me patience, honesty, leadership, and conscious riding. My acquired saddle skills also inform how I walk life’s road. I’ve learned there’s no faking it. I live with intention.

PATRICE GARRETT embraces the American West and has a penchant for the cowboy way of life. Her published writing includes press releases, articles, and short fiction. She has a first novel in rewrite, a website where you can enjoy her stories and blog. Her work has appeared in the Nob Hill Gazette, Marin Independent Journal, FYI San Francisco, The Horse Journal, Family News, Up Beat Times, Petaluma Post, Tiny Lights, Call of The Wild, and other publications. In 2014, her stories are appearing in two new anthologies. She is a member of Redwood Writers. Contact Patrice thru her website: www.wordwranglingwoman.com

SONIA MARSH SAYS:  I have always had a fear of horses, mainly because I am not used to being around them. Your “My Gutsy Story®,” showed me that:

“Horses mirror the fears, thoughts and resolve of their riders; they decipher nuance and interpret body language. Mine have taught me patience, honesty, leadership, and conscious riding. My acquired saddle skills also inform how I walk life’s road. I’ve learned there’s no faking it. I live with intention.”

 

NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

 

 


 

Next Webinar with expert Jason Matthews on July 11th at 9 a.m., PST. “Metadata Made Easy: Find the Best Keywords for Books, Blog Posts and Social Media.”

Send your questions to me at :Sonia@SoniaMarsh.com.

SIGN UP  HERE AS LIMITED SPACE.

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If you need help with blogging, book marketing and promotion, please contact me and visit my

CLICK HERE for Gutsy Book Coaching

Writers: Keep Your Day Job Unless…

July 3, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 16 Comments

 

Businesswoman on phone trapped inside small cubicle

I’m tired of being politically correct so once again, I’m going to be “Gutsy” and say what I think.

In my recent article, “Do authors make money? The real truth,” I emphasized one point:

  • Don’t quit your day job

Well, my day job for the last eight years has been raising my three sons, writing my memoir, and more recently, developing Webinars and Workshops, and launching a “Gutsy” Book Coaching business.

This is all fantastic and I’m loving it, however, like my author-blogger friend, Susan Weidener, said in her recent post: “So Much (Little) for Digital Book Sellers”:

“I ponder new ways to market and promote my books. As John Lennon said, I just “keep on keeping on.”  Selling books, one at a time – still, hopeful, checking my Amazon rankings, although less and less. Frankly, it’s just too discouraging.
But I’m a writer. I have to write.” — Susan Weidener.

I’m not trying to discourage writers to keep writing and marketing their books, heck no. I’m just sharing stories from most of my author friends who are struggling to sell their books and make a living at it.

I like to brainstorm with other authors and here are some of the questions we cover.

  • Should I make short e-books and sell them for $1.99-$2.99 
  • Should I turn my blog posts into e-books?
  • Should I do join some affiliate sales program?
  • Should I make videos and sell them on specific topics?
  • Should I offer free or paid Webinars?
  • Should I write another memoir?
  • Should I start writing novels?
  • Should I keep blogging even though it takes time away from my writing?
  • Should I get a day job so I can pay for my “hobby?”
  • Should I tell writers I make $15,000/month in book sales and make them believe they can too? (Unfortunately some sales people lie and I HATE that.)

Fortunately, most of them write because they love it and have another income stream.

So ladies and gentlemen:

I’m looking for a day job.

There, I said it. So here are some ideas I’ve had, and for those of you who know me, please tell me what you think I should do, and if you have an idea for me, or a job, let me know.

 

  • Apply for the Peace Corps and keep my “Gutsy Living” theme going. Blog about my adventures in Africa or Vanuatu.
  • I speak French, and American Airlines is looking for a French flight attendant. Am I too old for that? 
  • A personal assistant to a CEO
  • Work for a non-profit– Which one, other than Peace Corps
  • Other? Please let me know.

 


Next Webinar with expert Jason Matthews on July 11th at 9 a.m., PST. “Metadata Made Easy: Find the Best Keywords for Books, Blog Posts and Social Media.”

Send your questions to me at :Sonia@SoniaMarsh.com.

SIGN UP  HERE AS LIMITED SPACE.

Meta Data Number Pound Hash Tag Sphere Metadata Hashtags


If you need help with blogging, book marketing and promotion, please contact me and visit my

CLICK HERE for Gutsy Book Coaching


 

 

NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

How to Create Outside-the-Box Book Events

June 30, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 1 Comment

Sonia Marsh with Susan McBeth at PWSD meeting
Sonia Marsh with Susan McBeth at PWSD meeting

 

“Start planning your book’s destiny-NOW”

This is a phrase I got from Susan McBeth, founder of “Adventures by the Book.”

Susan creates events for authors, and says she has a “connector personality.”

Like Susan, I also like to connect people and one of the first questions Susan brought up during her presentation at Publishers and Writers of San Diego (PWSD), is to ask yourself:

“What am I good at?”

There is no one-size fits all, as far as book events, and Susan believes that we need to take our time and do it right.

Not everyone likes, or wants to speak in front of large crowds, so why not organize a smaller event where you have a glass of wine and chat one-on-one with each person.

I know how terrifying it can be to stand in front of even 100 people and speak, and since I was made fun of as a teenager, when I made a speech in front of my peers, I’ve decided to get over it, and prove that I’m no longer going to let that bother me.

“What do you consider a successful event?”

Everyone is different, and as Susan states, there are many ways to measure a successful event. Here are some of the ways:

  • Book sales
  • Attendance
  • Exposure (get your message out)
  • Engagement (one-on-one)
  • Personal Satisfaction
  • Other

From my own experience, I have different objectives for my book events, and book sales is never the main reason. I believe if you focus on sales, you may be disappointed, and you won’t focus on your audience and creating relationships with them.

“Word-of-mouth” is still the best way to sell books, and to ask for Amazon reviews–Sonia Marsh

Most indie authors hope to sell hundreds of books, and the most I ever sold was 37 books at my book launch. I remember saying that I should bring 100 books to Laguna Beach Bookstore when I did my first launch, and someone told me that even Bestsellers don’t sell 100. That was a wake-up call for me.

I launched my memoir: Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of gutsy Living on a Tropical Island, at Laguna Beach Books, and offered a themed party, rather than a traditional book launch. Since my memoir takes place in Belize, I organized a Caribbean party and had sponsors. We offered a traditional rum punch, and food.

Themed events offer a myriad of possibilities and increase press opportunities–Susan McBeth

There are many ways you can have a non-traditional book event. Susan McBeth listed the following, which she organizers for both traditionally published authors and self-published authors.

  • Book Clubs
  • Fundraisers
  • Panels
  • Themed Events
  • Cultural Events

When I created the launch for the 1st: My Gutsy Story® Anthology: True Stories of Love, Courage and Adventure From Around the World, I decided to make it like an Academy Awards event and held it in a movie theater in Southern California.

ANTHOLOGYMarqeeS

 

I did everything right, except I should have charged an entrance fee and offered a copy of the Anthology, free wine and food

Thanks to my connections, asking my author friends to participate in a panel, and inviting Marybeth Bond, (the Gutsy Traveler) to be my keynote speaker, and giving back to a non-profit, Womansage, I know that you can also create a unique book event based on a theme.

I would like to share some articles I’ve written on various book events I’ve done, and hope that you’ll get some ideas for your own events.

  • Costco is definitely for exposure, not to make money.
  • How do I sell my book?
  • A Different Way to Market Your Book
  • Why book promotion is like being a Viagra salesman
  • Book Promotion is like Breathing; You can never take a rest from it or you might die.

Susan McBeth is offering a workshop on August, 9th, 2014  from 12-4 pm., on Video Presentations for Authors. For more information, visit: www.adventuresbythebook.com.

If  you need help with blogging, building your platform, publishing, marketing or planning a book launch, please visit my “GUTSY BOOK COACHING” page.


Next Webinar with expert Jason Matthews on July 11th at 9 a.m., PST. “Metadata Made Easy: Find the Best Keywords for Books, Blog Posts and Social Media.”

Send your questions to me at :Sonia@SoniaMarsh.com.

SIGN UP  HERE AS LIMITED SPACE.


If you need help with blogging, book marketing and promotion, please contact me and visit my

CLICK HERE for Gutsy Book Coaching.

Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

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