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My Marriage Proposal in a Taxi

July 31, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 15 Comments

TAXI parked outside Mary's
A marriage proposal in a taxi like this one. Very Romantic.

Today was one of those “rare” days in Lesotho, were everything fell into place, and to top it all off, I received a marriage proposal. I’m not sure how this happened, but it might have something to do with a change in my attitude since I got back from a much-needed vacation in Paris and California. For some reason, I’m far more relaxed in Lesotho than I was before I left. Why? I’m not quite sure, but knowing that I still remember how to drive a car, that the world back home has not changed—even though mine has—that my three sons love and miss me, and that I have some amazing friends who truly care about me, has boosted my confidence in a country where I often wonder whether I’m making a difference.

So what does this have to do with the marriage proposal during my taxi ride?

Well, for the first time, I was able to communicate in English with my new taxi driver, Elliott (his English name) and John (the man who proposed to me.) Apparently my favorite taxi driver, Sheleng, crashed his taxi during my vacation, and is at home recovering from some minor injuries.

John opened the front passenger door, and scooted over when he saw me waving down the taxi on the side of the slushy, dirt “path.”  He happened to be a retired primary school teacher in the next village, and I was relieved to finally engage a Mosotho in a conversation, other than the formal greetings.

Elliott started the conversation. “Do you like Eminem?”

“Yes,” I said.

“I know all the words to his songs,” he continued and proceeded to sing.

“Have you met him?” he asked.

A question that did not surprise me as previous Peace Corps Volunteers said they’ve been asked if they know Michael Jackson. Apparently he’s still alive.

John then asked me where I was from, and where my husband lives.

I told him I was divorced and he asked me why?

I told him to ask my husband, as I had no intention of getting into that discussion with this man.

“I have ten children,” he said.

“Wow! How old are they?”

“I cannot remember.”

“How old are you?” he asked.

“Fifty-eight,” I said, “Any you?”

He wouldn’t say.

“I guess you’re sixty-eight,” I told him. His face was heavily wrinkled, and he looked older, but I was trying to be polite.

When he didn’t reply, I said, “Older?”

He then told me he was younger than me: fifty-four.

“Will you marry me?” he asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to get married.”
“You don’t want a  nice man, and to stay in Lesotho?”

“No. It takes a while to get to know someone,” I replied.

“You don’t want to live in Lesotho?” he continued.

“Have you ever traveled outside Lesotho?” I asked.

“No.”

“Come and visit me at home,” he continued.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

He would not stop, so I finally told him that I only like tall men.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I’m tall.”

That finally got John to stop asking me to marry him.

Meanwhile Elliott was laughing, and he finally said something that surprised me,

“It’s impossible to get a white person to marry you. If a Mosotho woman (person from Lesotho) is asked by a white man if she will marry him, she will not hesitate to say yes, immediately.

So this was an interesting taxi ride, and I made sure I got Elliott’s phone number, as I like the fact that we can have a conversation in English, plus he’s a much safer driver than Sheleng.

 

Join Me on July 19th For My Peace Corps Presentation

June 23, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 13 Comments

 

Sonia Marsh Peace Corps Volunteer in Lesotho

If you’re considering serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, or you’re curious to learn more about what it’s really like to move away from luxuries like electricity, toilets, showers and running water, join me on July 19th, for my Peace Corps presentation, in Orange County, California.

I plan to delve into the reality of working as an English teacher in a tiny village, where the only traffic seems to be herds of cows, sheep, goats, and blanket-clad men on horses. The only sounds are roosters, pigs, donkeys that sound like elephants, fighting dogs, and the Basotho people who yell from one mountain to the next. My new life is 6,000 feet above sea level, in “The Mountain Kingdom of Lesotho,” Southern Africa.

During my presentation:

I plan to delve into the nitty-gritty of my life as a Peace Corps Volunteer and entertain you with my daily challenges:
  • Learning to live with zero privacy
  • My “failed” attempts at communicating in Sesotho which have barely progressed beyond formal greetings
  • My amazing public transportation adventures
The positives of my Peace Corps experiences and what I’ve accomplished so far:
  • Improving the English teaching program at my school
  • Forging friendships with teachers and my counterpart at school
  • Receiving numerous donations of clothes, shoes, books and school supplies from wonderful people through my blogging which have greatly benefited the orphans and vulnerable children at my school
  • Other recent accomplishments I shall mention during my presentation
What I plan to do after the Peace Corps, and how I hope to motivate more 55+ to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer.

I started my Peace Corps “PST” (pre-service training) in Lesotho in October 2015, and this will be my first visit home. I have shared many stories on my blog since I arrived, and as time goes by, I keep learning new things about my environment, and myself.

Julia Capizzi, the amazing Peace Corps recruiter in Orange County, asked me if I’d like to share my experiences when I return this July for a quick vacation to visit my family and friends. I said “Yes,” and am asking all of you who live close by to attend, and bring a friend(s) along.

The Peace Corps Presentation will take place from 5:30 p.m., until 7 p.m. on Tuesday, July 19th at Mimi’s Cafe in Irvine, CA.

 

Sonia Marsh

Peace Corps Presentation of my life as a Volunteer in Lesotho, Southern Africa

(December 2015-December 2017)

Mimi’s Cafe

4030 Barranca Pkwy,

Irvine 92604

5:30 p.m.-7 p.m.

(You are welcome to stay longer and ask me questions)

I would like to share a power point presentation so you can see what my daily life is like, my school, and more.

Please e-mail me, at Sonia@soniamarsh.com, or Julia Capizzi  at jcapizzi@peacecorps.gov if you’d like to attend, if you are bringing a friend(s). Please write ATTENDING in the subject of your email, as we need a head count.

I hope to see you very soon.

 

Working as a Peace Corps Volunteer Can be Tricky

June 5, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 5 Comments

Kids watching Shrek video-back view

Working as a Peace Corps volunteer in a foreign culture can be tricky. On the one hand, you need to be respectful and not impose your ways on the people you work with, and on the other hand, you want to improve things. It can be a frustrating balancing act, and last week, I had a moment when I spoke out, because I knew what would happen if I kept my mouth shut.

My rural school in Lesotho was hooked up to electricity two weeks ago, and the Minister of Education donated four computers and a printer. My counterpart could not wait to learn how to use a computer, and to show educational videos to his students. He asked me to set up the computers, and to offer a workshop on how to use a computer to the seven teachers at my school.

I set up one computer, just to make sure we had Windows 7 and Office 2013 installed, and then noticed that the printer was missing a cable.

Our school already had one laptop, a projector and speakers, donated a couple of years ago, but they were sitting in my Principal, Sister B’s convent, collecting dust.

The day after I tested the computer in our staff room; the only room where we have electricity, Sister B returned the equipment to her convent for security reasons.

Proud of setting up computer in our staff room
Computer removed the next day

Our winter break starts in less than two weeks, and I knew that if I didn’t say something about getting burglar bars set up on the window in the staff room during the holidays, nothing would get done. Once again, the equipment would collect dust in the convent.

I’ve noticed how the teachers do not speak out during a staff meeting. Things never seem to get done, yet they often complain when we’re alone.

So this time I said what I thought needed to be said. “Sister, why don’t we get a quote for the burglar bars. I heard it doesn’t cost a lot, and that way, we can set up all the computers and the printer.”

“The school has no money,” she replied.

I’m so used to hearing that all the time, so I decided to try another approach.

With the help of a male teacher, we set up the laptop, speakers and projector, and got the system working. The teacher placed two large white sheets of paper on the wall, and the kids brought in rows of wooden benches. I found a Shrek Christmas preview DVD and “Pitch Perfect” about college kids and their acapella singing competition, which I borrowed from the Peace Corps resource center in Maseru.

As usual, I hate to admit this, but it’s the truth; three teachers did not show up at school on that day. So my counterpart suggested we show the movies, and I did not realize that for many of these children, this was their first time watching a movie. We crammed in three grades at a time, and the other children were trying to get in, but there was no room.

When the 6th and 7th graders finished their exams, they too wanted to see Shrek, and “Pitch Perfect.” Even the teachers sat inside the room, and Sister B. loved Shrek. The kids couldn’t believe a donkey could “talk.”

Kids watching Shrek video-2
Kids watching Shrek Christmas preview video 5 times in a row.

So my approach of showing the entire school two movies might have done the trick as most have never seen a film, and would tell their parents about it. Sister finally seemed ready to ask the parents to help raise money, and said she would call them to a meeting before school is out.

My counterpart and another teacher thanked me for telling Sister that we need burglar bars on the windows, and that if we don’t get this started, the computers will remain in the convent collecting dust for years to come.

REQUEST

If you have any used educational DVDs, phonics DVDs or any children’s or pre-teen DVDs that you no longer need, please e-mail me (Sonia@Soniamarsh.com) as I’ll be in California this July, and can bring them back in my suitcase, when I return to Lesotho.

 

Is The Internet Preventing Community Integration?

May 13, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 6 Comments

woman on computer

One of the objectives of the Peace Corps is to have volunteers integrate into their communities, but I started to question whether the Internet is actually having an adverse effect on my ability to fully integrate within my community.

I arrived in Lesotho in October 2015, and have tried to be flexible, share and learn new skills,  but I admit that remaining connected to the Internet has hindered my ability to fully integrate into my rural African community.

Peace Corps staff often warn our host families that Americans like their “alone time” and that this does not mean we are bored or unhappy, it’s simply a cultural difference. But unlike my friend, Ian Mathie, who lived in Africa for thirty years, when snail mail was the main form of communication, most Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) today have laptops.

Ian was fully integrated with the village folk. He spoke various African dialects, lived and ate what everyone else in his village ate, and there am I purchasing data to Google my lesson plans, read the news, and to stay in contact with my three sons, relatives and friends.

The good news is that I am fulfilling the 3rd goal of “The Peace Corps Mission” with my blog, and FaceBook posts which states:

“To help promote a better understanding of other people on the part of Americans.”

WhatsApp seems to be the preferred method of connecting with other PCVs in Lesotho, and several groups have been created to communicate with one another. As a 50+ volunteer, I am not as involved as some of the younger PCVs who communicate daily.

I have added local Basotho to my WhatsApp contacts, and this at least makes me somewhat “integrated.” My counterpart teachers discuss what we’re going to teach on WhatsApp, and how I let the local public taxi driver in my village know that I hope he stops to pick me up.

Being in touch with family, friends and social media, is “safe.” It’s like a security blanket, and I admit that I like that feeling, especially after school, when I can come home and have my coffee and write.

When I lived in the U.S., I was actively involved in promoting my own books, as well as those of others. I also started offering Webinars and videos on book marketing and realized how the Internet allowed me to connect and form relationships with people from all over the world. The Internet was my close friend, and still is; only now, it’s for a different reason.

I admit that my lack of full integration can be attributed to the fact that I am lousy at speaking Sesotho. If I were fluent, I could speak to everyone, and joke with them, but I think that’s highly unlikely during my two years of service.

The good news is Mary, my lovely “host-mother” speaks English, and at least I can say I’ve been accepted within her family. At least that’s a good start; I’m close to my teachers, Mary and her family.

Children Debate Major Cultural Differences-Gutsy Living

April 27, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 11 Comments

Team A proposing that "Yes" teachers are to blame for the poor performance of students.
Team A proposing that “Yes” teachers are to be blamed for the poor performance of students.

As a Peace Corps volunteer teacher in Lesotho, I’m discovering major cultural differences, even in the classroom. What may seem, “normal” in a school in Lesotho, would be cause for jail, in the U.S.

I’m helping grade 7 prepare a debate on, “Are teachers to be blamed for the poor performance of students?”

While brainstorming points on the affirmative side, one girl, Lineo, who is smart and ambitious, brought up the following points which no longer shock me, as I’ve heard them before.

DEBATE - grade7-Lineo

“Teachers fall in love with their students. This can lead to the poor performance of learners as learners would concentrate more on their affairs with teachers, than on their school work. Apart from that, it would not be easy for teachers to correct their learners when they are in love.”

Some male teachers will fail female students who refuse sex or who report them. I have not had anyone at my school report this, but this seems to be common in high schools as well as with professors in college. The problem is that once the girls fails, they lose their tuition fees in college and are forced to quit. One woman told me about this at the college level and is helping college girls win a lawsuit.

There was a scandal recently when a teacher killed one of his students in high school, after she told her parents she was pregnant. He wanted to  “hide” the evidence.

Lineo also wrote about alcohol.

“Use of alcohol by teacher. When drunk, a teacher would not use the appropriate language or examples to learners. In addition a teacher would not prepare his/her work well.”

Lineo brought up a third point regarding  teachers checking their cell phones during class, and not paying attention to their students.

In my school, none of the children have cell phones; their parents cannot afford them, however, all the teachers have one. I agree with Lineo, they are addicted to their phones, and although they don’t use them to Google lessons or to show children photos relevant to what they are teaching, they are constantly checking their phones.

Some of the other points the students brought up:

  • The teachers are not interested. They are bored.
  • Teachers test their students on topics they have not taught
  • Teachers arrive late at school, or do not bother to show up
  • Teachers hit the children with sticks. (I’ve seen this happen.)
  • Teachers don’t speak English to the children, even tough the curriculum is in English
  • The teacher is not qualified, or does not teach well
  • The teachers are often in conflict with one another

We did a mock debate, and I was teaching the kids how to project their voices, and become more confident in expressing themselves. I can see light bulbs going off in Lineo’s head. I cannot believe her mother died a few days ago, and yet she doesn’t seem to show any sorrow. How come? Was she not close to her?

There are so many things I’m learning about the Basotho culture, and many that I cannot understand.

 

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