My Gutsy Story Archives - Page 21 of 46 - Sonia Marsh

“My Gutsy Story®” Donald Dempsey

July 29, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 10 Comments

Birth

“Listen, I need you to understand what we’re up against going in,” the Doctor said again. His almost serene manner was infuriating. He kept gazing at me like he was waiting for me to understand, or explode. “There is a very real possibility the baby won’t make it. You will need to be strong for your wife.”

My wife was a nineteen-year-old girl in a room down the hall. She was currently hooked up to so many tubes and machines that it was hard to look at her without fainting. She was pale and frightened, and in pain. It was more than six weeks before the baby’s due date and she’d lost nearly twenty pounds, instead of gaining weight like a normal, healthy mother-to-be. Her appearance was haunting and surreal.

I felt more helpless and scared than at any other time in my life.

“I understand.”

“We expect the baby to weigh somewhere between 2 and 2-1/2 pounds, and we’ve taken every precaution. I have a specialist here who will take charge of the baby as soon as we deliver. Your wife will probably require some special attention during and after delivery.” He leaned forward and peered at me to stress his next point, his eyes widening a bit. “If you can’t remain calm and supportive it would be best if you waited this out with her family.”

Afterward, I washed my face with water and caught my reflection in the mirror above the sink. I was looking pretty haggard myself. Little sleep, long hours in the factory, and the stress of my wife’s difficult pregnancy was taking a toll. I noticed my hands trembling. My breathing was irregular. My heart was pumping so loudly I could hear it.

Without planning to I reached over and locked the door, then flicked off the light. I could still see a shadow of myself in the mirror. There was a hum of activity on the other side of the door. I hated myself for feeling so weak. I detested being afraid. My normal response to these emotions was anger. I could get downright hostile when pushed on. Such a response would do me no good in my present situation. In fact, such a response never did me any good. I just hadn’t learned that valuable lesson yet.

I dropped my head and began to talk. My hands gripped the cool porcelain of the sink. My words were quiet, but earnest and sincere. I wasn’t religious but I did believe in God. I had learned a few things about churches and pastors, none of them pleasant. But I found myself praying nonetheless, hoping that God would hear me and take pity on my wife and unborn son. It didn’t take long until I was on my knees and begging.

I promised I would be a better father than the man I had never known had been to me. I beseeched God for the chance to break the cycle of pain and despair I’d been born into. My troubled childhood and a stint in the Marine Corps had transformed me into a young man who was hard to get close to. Dropping my pride wasn’t easy. I had always counted on myself during tough times. It would be years before life would teach me how important humility truly was.

As I composed myself I felt the familiar anger rising, but squelched it. I knew I was at a crossroads. I had come so far, overcome so much. I’d worked hard to put the past behind me. But I knew if something happened to my wife or son I was going to suffer terribly. I didn’t think I’d be able to get past such a tragedy. I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to deal with anymore pain.

A few grueling hours later I was peering through a glass window at my infant son. My wife was resting comfortably. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d done it. I was certain it was going to be many years before I recovered from the harrowing experience we’d just survived. As low as I’d been before the delivery, I now found myself surging with hope and promise. I couldn’t stop smiling. I kept touching the glass and leaning toward my son, straining to get a better look. I had never been happier than at that moment.

A man next to me chuckled. “Your first?” I barely glanced at him but nodded. “Yeah, I can tell.” He didn’t sound nearly as excited as I was. “Which one’s yours?”

I pointed. A nurse was still attending my son, taking blood from the sole of one of his feet. He was squirming and giving her hell. “The good looking one,” I told him needlessly.

“A boy,” he muttered. “Good for you. That’s my third girl over there.” I glanced in the direction he indicated and smiled just to be polite. “You won’t be nearly so excited the second or third time around.”

I wasn’t listening to him any longer. What did he know? My son was going to change my life. He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something. He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be. Everyone would see. All that I never had would be his. I’d see to that. No matter how many hours I had to work, there would be no sacrifice I wouldn’t make. He was going to want for nothing and have everything.

My life changed drastically that day. Almost every decision I made from that point on was focused on that boy. He became my reason for living. I pushed for the best grades and accepted nothing less. I demanded success from him in every athletic endeavor, and there were many. And I never forgot my promise to God. I gave him everything I never had, and I never walked away.

The poor kid.

About the Author:

Don Dempsey experienced childhood abuse and neglect first hand, but went on to have a fulfilling family life as an adult and to own his own business. “If you’re lucky, you make it to adulthood in one piece,” says Don. “But there’s no guarantee the rest of your life is going to be any better. Abused kids are often plagued by fear and insecurity. They battle depression and have trouble with relationships. In the worst cases, abused children perpetuate the cycle.” But Don is living proof that you can overcome a childhood of abuse and neglect. “You start by letting go of as much of the guilt (yes, abused kids feel guilty) and as many of the bad memories as possible. At the same time, you hold on to the things that helped you survive. For me, it was the belief that you can make life better by working at it and earning it. It helps to have a sense of humor, too.”
Find out more about the author by visiting him online:

Betty’s Child website: www.BettysChild.com
Donald Dempsey Facebook: www.facebook.com/donald.dempsey.3
Twitter hashtag: #BCDempsey
You can order Betty’s Child on Amazon

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Thank you Donald for sharing your life-changing moment, when your son was born. I found it so moving when you said,

“My son was going to change my life. He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something. He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be. Everyone would see.”

After reading this, I realized how much you wanted to give your son everything you did not have as a child, but then I thought about the pressure on your son to become your “reason for living.” Also to get “the best grades” and how you “accepted nothing less.” I love the way you ended with “The poor kid.”

(Donald Dempsey is on a blog tour with WOW! Women on Writing. I requested he write a “My Gutsy Story®” which he accepted.)

***

Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess and Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall all sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

Do You Know Someone “Gutsy” in Your Community?

July 25, 2013 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

100_1418test_small2 — Sonia Marsh on her son’s unicycle

Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community?

We need your help. Please nominate a “Gutsy” person in one of the following locations.

Orange County
San Diego
Los Angeles

Send us their name, and a 200 word max. e-mail about why this person is “Gutsy.” Please send e-mail to: gutsyanthology@gmail.com

We would like to bring them on stage for the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” event for the launch of our first Anthology on September 26th, in Orange County, CA.

For more information, and to sign-up for the event, please click on the event page and sign-up to attend. It’s FREE.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

When: September 26, 2013.

Where: Regency South Coast Village 3, 1561 W. Sunflower Avenue, Santa Ana, Calif. (MAP)

Time: 6 to 9 p.m. (Photos of where we shall be here.)

There is no charge for the event, whose theme is “Bring Out the Gutsy in You.” I hope attendees will be inspired to step out of their comfort zone, take risks and follow their passion.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess , Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall and Destiny Allison all sharing their “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

“My Gutsy Story®” Destiny Allison

July 22, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 17 Comments

In an instant

In an instant, my world collapsed. It wasn’t just the absence of planes in the sky or the way people wandered around blank and numb. By then, I’d turned off the news, not wanting my young children to be more frightened than they already were. Like most, I did what I had to do to get through the days. I even bought a flag and hung it on my porch — solidarity with my country, grief for what had been lost. I went to work, interacted with a new boss I couldn’t stand, and did my job. Until, that is, I didn’t have one. 9/11 had destroyed the economy and crushed the annual fundraiser our small non-profit depended upon. As fast as the planes had hit the buildings, and with the same shock of disbelief and terror, I was unemployed.

I was a single mom, raising my three children alone. There was little in the way of child support, only a pittance in my savings account, and a new mortgage I couldn’t afford. Everything in me froze. Where would I find a job? How would I care for my kids? Through long and sleepless nights, I stared at the ceiling, my heart racing. Then as winter crept up frost covered windows, something in me started to thaw. Could my layoff have been a gift? Was there a message in all of this?

I had been an artist for years, wrestling my clay and wax at night and on weekends when my children were sleeping or occupied. I had placed a few pieces in local galleries and even sold some, but never enough to let me quit my proverbial day job. Making art was the only thing I never gave up on, the only thing that offered my hard life a measure of relief. In those cold days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, while I worried how to keep the heat on, a voice kept whispering, “Now or never, girl. It’s now or never.”

I made the leap. Instead of job hunting, I started making things, submitting my portfolio to shows, and praying. Instead of reacting to my circumstances, I would change them, take control of my life for the first time, and become the woman I wanted to be.

The first show was hard, but I sold just enough to pay my bills and get to the next one. I learned everything I could about my new business and applied it quickly. The second show was a little better. By summer, I was making more money than my old job had paid me. It was hard. Really, really hard, but I was doing it.

I worked seven days a week building sculptures as fast as I could. Some of them I didn’t like, some were okay, and others had that glimmer of something that sparked my breath. It didn’t matter what I thought about the work. It sold. All of it. What I thought was terrible brought a buyer to tears. The art moved people. I learned how to talk about my work and share the personal stories that inspired the pieces. I learned how to price, when to spend money and when to save it, and how to be myself. Instead of dressing to impress, I dressed for comfort so I wasn’t self-conscious while selling my work. Every six weeks I took to the road for a week or two. I hired nannies — something I will always regret — missed my kids, and worried they felt I had abandoned them. In some ways, I did. There wasn’t a choice. They needed food, clothes, a roof over their head, and a decent education. Their teenage years were hard on all of us. Every time I wondered if I was doing the right thing, I thought that if I gave up my passion I would teach them to do the same. I couldn’t live with that so I chose to model what it takes to make it and spent as much time with them as I could.

Fast forward twelve years. My children are grown and I am proud of them. They are wonderful, self sufficient, and kind. I met the love of my life and married him. I am internationally collected, exhibited by top galleries, and living the dream come true. Then, unexpectedly and in the weirdest way, I threw my back out permanently. My studio days are numbered, my income is dropping, and all of a sudden I’m writing. I released Shaping Destiny last year. It is the story of how I found my voice as an artist. Having just released my second book, Pipe Dreams, I am reminded of that first journey. Like then, I’m facing a road that is long and hard, but I trust it will be infinitely rewarding. I can do this. I can face my fears and conquer my misgivings. That little voice is whispering again. “Now or never, girl,” it says. The difference this time is that I know who I am, what I can do, and have a family who understands and supports my process. Because I believe in myself they do, too.

Destiny Allison Book Cover — Click on cover to get to Amazon page

DESTINY ALLISON: Destiny Allison is an award winning sculptor, businesswoman, and community builder, but writing was her first love. Last year, she published Shaping Destiny: A quest for meaning in art and life. The non-fiction work was recently awarded 1st place for non-fiction/memoir in the 2013 Lucky Cinda Global Book Contest.

Pipe Dreams is her fiction debut and other fictional works are soon to follow. Allison believes that our lives are our greatest works of art and that we have to be who and what we are, not who and what we’re supposed to be. This theme is reflected in her written works, sculptures, and business endeavors. Allison lives in Santa Fe, NM with her husband and dogs, alternately missing and celebrating her three grown sons.

Pipe Dreams on Amazon

Artwork: http:/www.DestinyAllison.com

Twitter: @sfcsculptor

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Destiny, I truly admire how you were able to turn your love for sculpting into a profitable business, and how you found a way to juggle your business and home life with three kids, as a single mother. Now you’ve switched to another creative outlet: writing, and from your strength, talent and determination, I’m sure this will be another successful part of your life to celebrate.

(Destiny Allison is on a blog tour with WOW! Women on Writing. I requested she write a “My Gutsy Story®” which she accepted.)

***

Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess and Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall all sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

“Bring Out the Gutsy in You” with Marybeth Bond

July 18, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 18 Comments

Marybeth BBondwglobe2 — Marybeth Bond, “Gutsy Traveler.”

Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

I’m thrilled that author and intrepid traveler Marybeth Bond has agreed to be my keynote speaker for this launch party, which will introduce the My Gutsy Story^® Anthology – the first book in the “Gutsy Anthology” series.

Marybeth Bond is a National Geographic author, contributor to LA Times, USA Today, PBS, CNN and guest on Oprah.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

When: September 26, 2013.

Where: Regency South Coast Village 3, 1561 W. Sunflower Avenue, Santa Ana, Calif. (MAP)

Time: 6 to 9 p.m. (Photos of where we shall be here.)

There is no charge for the event, whose theme is “Bring Out the Gutsy in You.” I hope attendees will be inspired to step out of their comfort zone, take risks and follow their passion.

Marybeth, known as “The Gutsy Traveler,” is the author of 12 National Geographic travel books, including two Gutsy Women books. She’s traveled to more than 100 countries. Two summers ago, she biked 3,115 miles across the United States with her 22-year-old daughter and raised $52,000 for women’s osteoporosis research. Marybeth’s goal is to encourage women to step out of their comfort zones and travel beyond the group tour.

You’ll also hear from a panel of authors featured in the My Gutsy Story® Anthology.

Moderator: Marla Miller, Author and founder of The Marketing Muse workshops

Sonia Marsh: Award-winning author and founder of the My Gutsy Story® series.
Linda Joy Myers: President of the National Association of Memoir Writers and co-president of the Women’s National Book Association, SF.
Jason Matthews: Hosts a weekly Indie Authors Google+ Hangout, and is an e-publishing expert.

Marla Miller, will serve as moderator, asking questions about how to make “gutsy” happen. I’ll be one of the panelists, along with Linda Joy Myers, and Jason Matthews.

A percentage of the proceeds from book sales will go to WomanSage, which provides opportunities, experience and education to enhance and empower all women.

Please contribute to the PUBSLUSH Campaign to help support the event, and OFFER YOU REWARDS in exchange.

Click on Book Cover to Reserve Your Seat Today

(Name and e-mail required)

The goal of the My Gutsy Story^® Anthology series is to build a safe community aimed at helping one another overcome life’s challenges, encourage adventure and grow stronger with the knowledge that there are always options in life.

Do you live in Orange County, Los Angeles or San Diego area?
Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community that you’d like to nominate?

If so, please e-mail us at: gutsyanthology@gmail.com and write “MY NOMINATION” in the subject line. Please write no more than 100 words as to why you nominate this person, what they’ve done that’s Gutsy and why you believe they deserve to win.

We shall select 3 people based on your nominations, and mention them at the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” event on 9-26-13.

Look forward to seeing you on September 26th. Please share with all your friends on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and in person.

Comments and questions ARE ALWAYS appreciated.

“My Gutsy Story®” Patti Hall

July 15, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 41 Comments

Runaway Writer Found on Beach, Heart Broken, but Alive!

One of the best moves I’ve ever made was to run away from home when I was almost fifty-one years-old. Once I made the move, my life changed. I did meet a small new circle of friends, but the biggest change was in my writing life.

It had been over 10 years since I was actively writing online. Back then I was writing for online magazines, a weekly column on the now defunct “She’s Got” network, and I ran a site for young writers. I wrote children’s stories, poetry, and a novel, while plotting my moves to publish them all. Then life took another swing at me and my writing life was back to just me and my journal, which satisfied me for a time.

In 2008 a personal tragedy brought writing back into my life; I wrote online updates to friends and family about my husband’s fight with leukemia. I wrote from Paul’s hospital bedside and from the desk at our temporary housing near the hospital and clinic. I wrote about our thoughts and feelings, about the latest medicines, and their cruel side effects. I tried to keep positive and I tried to make our weird humor an ingredient of my updates. Amazingly to me, I kept getting comments on my updates like, “I hope you’re saving this for a book,” and “This is going in the book isn’t it,” and “You have to write a book to help others through what you and Paul have been through.”

Almost a year from the day he was diagnosed, Paul passed away at home in our bed. Even stunned by his death though, I missed writing those updates. A few weeks later I began an email journal of my painful progress through nightmare estate issues and my stunted grief process. My email journal went out (and still does) to our same circle from the leukemia updates, with pictures, poetry, and reader comments. My audience continues to laugh, cry and cheer for me.

It was six months after Paul’s death that I ran away from home. Our home was home no more; it was a torn shell that had once been the comfortable shelter of our love. Home was now held hostage in a gripping tug-of-war between lawyers and heirs. All I could focus on during those first six months was Paul and my driving need to be near the ocean; a need that pulled me like the moon tugs at the tides. Some of our most fun and soothing times had been spent walking sandy shores.

During those six months before I ran away, I thought of other times that I had found sanctuary on the beach. As a young divorced mother, I had often bundled up my nursing son and my toddler-daughter and made excursions to a friend’s beach cottage, or to the sands of Ocean Shores Washington. I recalled treasured memories of Huntington Beach California, with my beautiful red-headed sister and our young families.

As beach memories crowded my thoughts, automatic pilot (that self-protective part of me) managed the details of the next episode of my life. Without that autopilot, I could never have abandoned our home; that sacred place of “us.” Autopilot shielded me from sinking into fear and served up a pair of wings for my flight to the beach.

Maggie’s as safe as the closet that our dog, Jake, snuggled into during fireworks or storms (and she’s not much bigger than that closet!). Maggie is a travel trailer who beats her chest with happiness when salty winds batter her metal skin. She sings along with the chimes I hang, and apologizes unceasingly when her plumbing proves imperfect. Maggie is home, and only a short walk to the beach.

Once settled into my new life, the addiction began. I dug out old work. I produced new work. I started writing under my maiden name, which I had not used since 1977. The solitary writer’s life I led now had little resemblance to any of the former lives I’d led the past 36 years, so a new (old) name made perfect sense to me.

I polished a children’s book written for my children when they were young, and then I wrote a 4000-word story based on my granddaughters. I pulled out a series of poem-stories that I wrote years ago; I had drawn little booklet covers and attached the poem-stories to whimsical creatures that my girlfriend made for sale.

I spent hours researching and educating myself on writing and publishing in this new modern world. I joined a local writer’s class in the arts center and an online memoir class. I began attending a local writing group at my library. There, I presented a new story I was writing based on the superhero flights of fancy of one of my grandsons, but written for all three of them.

More research. I followed a course online on building a writer’s platform. I made my website to blog my future readers. I joined Twitter and Facebook. I passed the initiation and became a member of several online writing groups. I was writing new material every day and blogging most of it. The feedback was encouraging, more than encouraging, as several professional and/or published writers were insisting I publish my work. I was on a roll.

I’m still on that roll. I’ve had two other very close deaths recently that almost stopped me in my tracks again. The grief is overwhelming, but what I can do is write. I can write of the cold dark hours and long, never-ending days of my grief. I can even write and photograph the joyful minutes that I allow myself to see and feel the miracles of nature; the raging waves reaching for the shore, the dancing birds on the sand who rejoice in flight, the moss-covered shack I capture being swallowed by vegetation. I’m at my beach and I’m writing a memoir. I’m alive and I’m hopeful.

PATTI HALL is currently working on her memoir series, Souvenirs from My Heart, about love, illness and loss.

During the 90’s Patti wrote online articles and a weekly column for a now defunct network. Her site, Rising Writers, for aspiring young writers was voted Top 101 Writers Web Site in Writer’s Digest for 2000. She wrote poetry and essays, an anthology of women’s writing, newsletters, and edited her college newspaper.

Patti lives near the beach and enjoys her solitude. She spends her time walking on the beach, writing, reading, taking photos, gardening, traveling and genealogy. Visit Patti at www.1writeplace.com

Follow Patti on Twitter @PattiHallWrite, and on Facebook.

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Your story is so beautiful, and I felt such strength within you to focus on your passion to write while overcoming the loss of your husband.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess and Sharon Leaf, both sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

Don’t miss Thursday’s post on SURPRISE KEYNOTE SPEAKER for “My Gutsy Story® event on September 26th, 2013.