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You are here: Home / Archives for Inspirational

Dying is not scary. Don’t postpone your life

April 25, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

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Ric Elias almost died. He was sitting in row 1D when he heard an explosion. The plane filled with smoke and after two minutes, three things happened:

  • The pilot lined the plane with the Hudson river.
  • The pilot turned off the engines, and everything turned eerily quiet.
  • The pilot uttered three words: “Brace for impact.”

This was Flight 1549, the plane that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in January 2009.
Ric tells us what went through his mind when the doomed plane went down.

  • “I learned that it all changes in an instant,” he says, and because of that, “I no longer want to postpone anything in life. And that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.”
  • “I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter.” Ric realized that it’s not important to be right, but just to be happy. “I’ve not had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great.”
  • “The only thing that matters in my life is being a great dad. Above all, the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.”

One thing Ric said which surprised me is, “Dying is not scary. It’s almost like we’ve been preparing for it our whole lives.” But he admitted he felt very sad.” I didn’t want to go; I love my life.” He continued to say, “I only wish for one thing. I only wish I could see my kids grow up.”

Ric’s 3 important life lessons:

  • Don’t postpone what you want to do in life.
  • Don’t focus on being right, just focus on being happy.
  • Be a great parent to your children. Put your ego and everything else aside.

So I’d like to ask you to reflect and answer Ric’s question:

What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?

Want to quit your job and travel around the world?

April 7, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Do you dream about quitting your job and traveling around the world? How can you make your dream a reality?

Larry Jacobson did just that, and his motivation was his search for happiness. Like so many under stress, Larry said, “my job was slowly killing me. I subscribe to the philosophy that our purpose in life is to be happy.”

So in 1998, Larry Jacobson, author of The Boy Behind the Gate, sold his business, and three years later sailed west on his 50 foot sailboat, making his dreams come true.

After reading about Larry in the OC Register’s article, “Sailor survived ‘Pirate Alley,’ worried mom,” I knew I had to interview him, and find out more about his Gutsy side: the one that resulted in a six-year-adventure, sailing around the world. I especially wanted to find out how he had changed after such a long adventure.

Here is my five-minute interview with Larry Jacobson, author of The Boy Behind the Gate
at the Newport Beach Public Library, California, March 29th, 2011

This interview explores the background that led up to Larry selling his company in 1998, and purchasing his boat in March 2001, which he worked on, until he and his partner and a few crew members sailed off from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco on December 7th, 2001.

How were you able to finance such a trip?
“By selling my travel incentive business.” This enabled Larry to finance his trip for two years. After he ran out of money, he decided to sell his house and continue his six-year adventure.

How many countries did you visit?
“We visited 40 countries.” They decided to sail west to the South Pacific, and their journey was spontaneous. They stayed in Auckland, New Zealand for 9 months and Australia for 8 months, as well as Thailand for 3 months and Turkey for almost a year; so the trip was about “getting to see the world and live it,” Larry said.

Which island was the most beautiful?
“The French have all the good stuff. French Polynesia, is the most beautiful. Tahiti, Bora Bora, Tuamotus Islands, Moorea, the Marquesas islands, these are all French,” Larry said, with a huge smile as he seemed to be reliving their natural beauty.

The best scuba diving?
The Tuamotus islands in French Polynesia, coral islands with no dirt on the island, so there is no run-off and about 120 feet of visibility. There were other places too, which you’ll discover in his book.

How long into the trip before you acquired the skills to overcome, “seamanship, personal strength and perseverance?”
Larry said that he struggled for the first year, and that it’s not the fun and dreamy vacation that we may think. “It’s a lot of hard work. Things break down constantly, and we had to learn along the way,” he said.

What was the first thing you noticed when you returned to San Francisco after six years of traveling?
“That nothing had really changed, except me. I didn’t see things the same way, I didn’t see money the same way, I didn’t see food, cars and people the same way. I had a new appreciation for what I felt was important in life, and it’s not sold in retail stores; it’s love and friendship.” Larry said he’s still struggling to fit in, despite it being four years since he’s been back in the U.S. His conclusion is that he’s changed permanently and he’ll never fit back in. “I think I’m a better person for it, I treat others better for it, I have a sense of community and camaraderie with friends and family that I probably didn’t have before.”

So what are some of the important lessons that you learned from escaping the rat race?
“That the rat race is not the only race going on, and you don’t have to take part in it.”

How do you stop yourself from getting caught up in it again, especially when you have to make money?
“Well, it’s tough. Not long ago I found myself yelling at someone in traffic at another driver, and I’m not supposed to do that, because that’s what I learned not to do. That it’s not important, that it’s OK, you can take your time, you don’ have to go so fast. As far as money, I’m counting on my book and I am a professional speaker. That’s going to be my next career, my next living.”

What do you tell someone who says, I’d like to do something like you did, but I can’t afford it?”
“The most important thing is to re-prioritize, because you can afford to do something. Anyone can afford to do something. It doesn’t have to be to sail around the world, that’s a pretty big thing.You can sail to Catalina island (an island off the California coast.) So re- prioritize. Save enough money to rent a boat and sail to Catalina and back. You’ll have a week-long adventure that will be unbelievable. You’ll be talking about it for years.” Larry said he put money away for years to fulfill his dream. He planned ahead. He called it his sailing fund. “If you really want to sail, don’t go skiing, save your money. Don’t buy a 50″ TV, by a 40″ TV.”
Larry’s enthusiasm was contagious.”You have to really want this, and I was unstoppable,” he said.
“People will always say, you can’t do this. You don’t have the money, the knowledge, or some other excuse, but if you really want this, you’ll make it happen.”

I want to thank Larry for his wonderful words of wisdom. and for all of us with dreams, no matter how big or how small, let’s remember to become unstoppable.

You can order Larry Jacobson’s inspiring book with many colored photos inside to carry you on a journey around the world, on his website or on Amazon. Please hop over to his Larry Jacobson’s site.

If you have any questions for Larry, please ask in the comment section and he’ll be happy to answer them.

4 Important Keys to Prepare for a Happy Marriage (After Retirement)

March 31, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

My Guest today is Bob Lowry From
Satisfying Retirement

Bob started his blog Satisfying Retirementin June 2010. He gives us tons of helpful advice, and whether you’re a retirement “veteran,” have newly joined the ranks of the “no longer working,” or are still a few years away but have questions, you’re in for a treat today.

4 Important Keys to Prepare for a Happy Marriage (After Retirement)

One of the biggest adjustments most of us will have to make after retiring is being around another person, all day, everyday. Whether we are the one who has stopped working, or it is our spouse, it is hard to ignore the “extra” person in the room. Marriage manuals tell you that together time is great. They are right. After all those years of leaving the house each day it feels really special to be together.

However, There is a flip side. All that together time can make for a rocky journey if not handled properly. Routines and responsibilities that have been dealt with a certain way are suddenly upended. Here are 4 keys to help make your married life after retirement satisfying and fulfilling.

Spend time on shared interests. Retirement gives you and the other person a chance to spend more time doing something you both enjoy. Notice I used the word chance. This won’t happen just because you are together. It will only happen if the two of you strive to make it happen.

Here is something many of us forget about shared interests: you may have a shared interest you don’t know about yet. Try this: each of you agrees to do something the other person enjoys for a set period of time. If it doesn’t work, drop it and try something else. You just might discover something you love and don’t know how you got along without it.

Develop complementary interests. This doesn’t mean telling the other person how good he or she looks today, though that isn’t a bad idea. I’m referring to combining interests that compliment each other. For example, I like to take photographs and have a decent eye for composition. But, I do not have the patience to edit each photo for color balance, sharpness, or perspective. Luckily for us my wife loves that kind of work and is very good at it. She likes taking photos too, but secretly I think it is just so she can edit them. Our skills compliment each other and allow us to complete a project that neither one of us could tackle as well individually.

Understand the need for private time and space. Each of us must have a period when we are alone. We must be able to simply “be” without having to respond or comment or decide. We must have time to be involved with interests and activities that we don’t share with another. It is important to make it clear you are not avoiding the other person because he or she irritates you. Both of you must discuss boundaries of duties and time so each protects what is important to the other person.

Above all communication is crucial. Effective communication is hard work. It involves a type of listening called reflective listening. This is when you briefly summarize what you believe the other person has said and then respond. Reflective listening is a sign of respect because you are not formulating your answer while he or she is speaking. Trust me. Without strong communication the other three keys won’t matter.

Bob has put together a 61-page e-book, which you can download for FREE.
I have it and am sharing it with my husband. It’s great to plan ahead.

From Building a Satisfying Retirement: How to Make the Most of this new Phase of Your Life

Successful bloggers tell stories like Darren Rowse

March 24, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 Darren Rowse in Tanzania March 2011

A few weeks ago, I discovered something about Darren Rowse, the Australian guy (guru) behind ProBlogger I didn’t know. Apart from his expert advice on blogging, he wanted to share another facet of himself by conducting a bold experiment called: the Tanzania Blog Project. He decided to take us into the lives of ordinary Tanzanians, especially women and children with medical issues, and share the wonderful work conducted by CBM: an Australian non-profit..

Darren wanted us to see and feel like we’re with him, without leaving our comfortable armchair. Through his daily interviews on video, we’re able to follow the lives of Tanzanian kids like Athman, the ten-year-old boy who is constantly picked on because of his disability. Darren’s video shows us what CBM in conjunction with CCBRT (a Tanzanian non-governmental organization) are doing to help at their disability hospital in Dar es Salaam. Darren states that Athman’s biggest problem isn’t his physical disability, but his “social isolation.” He managed to capture Athman getting mobile on this video.

We get to hear about another common problem in Tanzania, women with fistulas. This is a problem that can be treated, but many women live in “shame” and are also “socially isolated” or badly treated by others. Darren interviews two women, Hadija, who is older, and who has suffered 30 years with her fistula problem. She did not realize it could be treated until a younger woman, Niguala (who’s had a fistula for two months) heard about the hospital from a neighbor.

Some of the harsh realities of Tanzanian life are:

  • 35 women die a day from maternal health issues.
  • 120 babies die within 24 hours of being born every day.
  • Fistulas are a common problem in women in Tanzania, many caused by child birth.

Darren says in his final video, “Instead of thinking about the depressing aspects, we need to focus on the fact that there are people out there helping.” Disability is more about not being able to participate, because kids and adults are secluded by others. “It’s our attitudes that stop disabled people from reaching their potential.”

I agree with Darren that getting involved with project like the Tanzania Project, reminds us of some of the things happening in other parts of the world. I think it’s uplifting to see volunteers helping. I know I benefited tremendously from my ten days of volunteering with a group of U.S. nurses in a Mayan school in Belize.

It’s difficult for many to travel to far away places like Tanzania, however, I appreciate the way Darren captured the “stories” of many women and children, and opened our eyes to what’s being done, and how we can help.

Don’t be afraid to experiment like Colin Wright.

March 9, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 Colin Wright
The ExileLifestyle

I just got an idea while jumping from The Skool of Life blog to The Exile Lifestyle blog to this TEDx Phnom Penh. I know, I know; I cannot sit still and FOCUS, which is probably why I need to get Leo Babauta’s free 121 page e-book. (Please note on page 14, he asks a simple question that I can relate to, how about you? Here it is: “As you read this chapter, how many times were you distracted or tempted to switch to another task? How many times did you think of something you wanted to do, or check your email or other favorite distractions?”

Anyway, back to Colin Wright from ExileLifestyle. What I love about this young guy is that he lives a Gutsy Life: something I admire and could see myself doing, if I had an income. You know what he does? He polls his bloggers and asks them, “Where should I live for the next four months?” and then he moves to the country that received the most votes. That’s why Iceland is his next move. How cool is that? I could easily pack my bags and live that way. Can you imagine how great it would be to live in a place for four months and learn about the country, the people, nature, food and customs, and then move on. (Maybe that’s why I can’t sit still for too long.) It would be like a personal survey of each country, and if you don’t like it, you’ve only made a four month commitment, and you can always blame your “voters” for picking a lousy place.

Anyway, in case you don’t have time to sit through Colin’s motivational TEDx Phnom Penh speech, let me summarize what I found interesting.

  • Carry a camera with you daily, and take it with you wherever you go. 

This will add a “new light” to your life. Don’t be afraid to experiment. It will make you see things through a different “lens” and perhaps give you an “aha” moment as did the man on the bench with the chihuahua, in Colin’s case.

  • Make a commitment to blog about one photo daily for one year, and see where it takes you. 

It might even take you to attempting the “extreme lifestyle experiment” like Colin Wright. In case you’re wondering how he finances his life abroad, he runs an online business which he can do anywhere in the world, using Skype, except New Zealand. Strangely enough, Internet connections are terrible in New Zealand, according to Colin Wright.

Thanks to Srinivas Rao and his thought-provoking Skool of Life blog, where he states, “I’ve never been the type of person to fit in,” I discovered Colin Wright.

Is there something you’d like to try but haven’t had the guts to? Don’t be afraid to experiment.

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