How I Learned to Let Go of Security

January 5, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 5 Comments

“My Gutsy Story®” Connie Fenty

Even now, 30 years later, I can recall the sharpening of my senses and how I responded to the growing fear of what I was about to do that night. Standing in the midst of the forest, my feet cushioned by winter softened leaves, I peered at the jungle gym of ropes in the branches of the trees far above me. This was the famous challenge course of the West Virginia Outward Bound School. Now it was my turn to climb up to the first of several obstacles requiring courage and agility. I knew on a rational level that I would be safely attached at each of the challenges to an overhead rope clipped into the harness I wore wrapped around my waist and legs. Even so, my body began to shake almost uncontrollably, fueled by the release of terror related adrenaline.

Each swinging bridge, cargo net, tight rope, and balance beam began at a firm supportive wooden platform. From those perches, I could stop trembling long enough to take comfort from my surroundings: newly leafing branches, a sunset forming in the distance, the odor of cool damp earthy forest air, the sounds of birds flying to roost, and the encouraging shout from the instructor below, “Just let go, Connie. L-e-e-t g-o-oh.” In spite of the empowering knowledge that I had successfully completed another aspect of the course, as I approached each new obstacle, debilitating fear returned. Repeatedly, I forced myself to leave my safe and secure base and step into the unknown.

On the last platform, I sat elated, exhausted, and feeling finished. “Just one more challenge, and I’ve got this,” so I thought. The spotter seated beside me drew a long sturdy rope toward the two of us and attached me to it, explaining, “Hold the rope, scoot to the edge, and then you’ll drop about 20 feet.” He promised that the rope would stop short of the ground and I would get to have the swing of my life as a reward. That’s when I looked down and froze to the platform.

After a while I said to my patient guide, “I’ll close my eyes and you can just push me off.” “No,” he replied, “it must be your decision to plunge.” Finally as night began to creep through the trees, I edged closer and closer to what felt like nothingness and eventually plummeted quickly down, down, down. The rush of air as I picked up speed in my free fall was exhilarating. My elongated scream pierced the darkening forest. As the slack of the rope wound out, the rope and I moved to and fro in a wide arc. It was the best swinging I had ever experienced. Slowing, I stepped onto ground level and unbuckled. I felt a satisfying sense of pride like that of a child when she has accomplished a new feat. I wanted to shout, “Look at what I did.” I didn’t understand until later how strongly I had internalized what had happened that night.

My Outward Bound experience was like a boot camp for teaching me to conjure up courage when future happenings threw me off course. To move forward from minor setbacks, like being transferred to a different teaching assignment than the one I had hoped for, I daringly leaped into the unknown. When faced with moving from a happy home to live in a different town, my mind told me that change of my choosing should not elicit fear, but still my heart raced as I left. Through continued practice of the lessons I learned on the ropes course, it was easier to let go of the security and safety of the known enabling me to step away from my living “perch” and embrace the choice to dwell elsewhere.

Later on, I would need even fiercer courage during my process of recovery from a major setback. My husband and I back then were just adjusting to our lives with young children and a new house when he was diagnosed with cancer. His battle was a short one. One month and he was gone. I found myself stuck on an ungrounded metaphorical “challenge course platform” named widowhood. Below and in front of me there lay an abyss as far as I could imagine. Calling me back from that ledge the “rope” that I held tightly was the knowledge that I had two young daughters who needed me. Sometimes, I could swear that the ghost of the voice I heard all those years before in the West Virginia woods was urging me to “let go-o-o-oh” once more. Instead, fear of what lay ahead kept me anchored to the past wishing someone would give me a push to catapult me forward.

And then, I am drawn into the present by graceful moments. While running to maintain my sanity, the autumn wind rains bright yellow leaves upon my head. A double rainbow appears in the sky one day while my daughters and I play together outside. We sniff the earth as we dug holes to plant daffodil bulbs so we can watch them appear in the spring. I remember to open my senses and take in the world around me. Consciously, I begin to connect to the calming powers of nature. Fear dissipates and I scoot to the edge of a new beginning. Trust propels me forward. After a while, I am welcomed to solid ground.

CONNIE FENTY has a Master’s degree in education and is a retired elementary school teacher living in Bucks County PA. She is the founder of Your Nature Connection Seminars, Common Ground Labyrinths, and co-founder of Sacred Steps Journeys.

Connie’s presentations feature themes of Healthy Living through Meditative Practices as well as Awakening Connection to Nature, Ancestors, and Spirituality. Whether facilitating a labyrinth walk; teaching yoga; providing a retreat in nature; or leading tours to sacred sites in Europe, her programs are full of experiential activities and inspiring content. She is in the process of writing a travel memoir. Check out her website: www.yournatureconnection.com

SONIA MARSH SAYS: I admire the way you were able to use the courage and resilience you received from your your boot camp experience, and apply it to tragedy in your life.

2015 “My Gutsy Story®” has started, with the 1st VOTING of Kenn Ashcraft, Suzanne Chun and Lola De Maci, stories, as well as the Monday, January 2015 “My Gutsy Story®” stories. So you will be able to VOTE for your favorite of 7 stories on January 29th-February 11th, 2015, with the WINNER announced on February 12th.

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“My New Life” Chapter One

January 2, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 18 Comments

I am turning a new chapter in my life prompted by my divorce after a 28-year marriage.

Instead of feeling “sorry” for myself, I’ve opted to view this as an opportunity to explore new avenues and adventures. As I often say to others:

“There are always options in life. View setbacks as opportunities to do something new and don’t be afraid to take a risk.”

Baby boomer women are taking charge of their life and according to: New York Times “Divorce After 50”

“So much for “till death do us part.” For the first time, more Americans 50 and older are divorced than widowed, and the numbers are growing as baby boomers live longer. Sociologists call them gray divorcees.”

SONIA’s 2015 Gutsy Adventure:

Cert-TESOL certificate in London in May 2015, a one-month course. This is the “Teaching of English to Speakers of Other Languages,” course which is respected and recognized globally by language schools. I have always wanted a qualification I can use anywhere in the world, and thanks to Rebecca Hall, who writes about “Life Beyond Borders” blog, I was guided to this specific course. Watch my interview with Beccy here. Another interview with her on January 24th, 9 a.m.
I signed up for the Peace Corps, and have followed numerous PC social gatherings during the past year.

IMG_20141208_220907 — Julia Caipizzi, Orange County Peace Corps Recruiter, Sonia and Theresa Elders (RPCV)

PEACE CORPS: I am currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Lesotho, a tiny land-locked country in southern Africa.The good news is that the PC wants to recruit more people over 50, so if you’re looking for another adventure, here are some people over 50 serving.
MY TIME NOT SOCIAL MEDIA’S TIME: I’m going to do things according to “my time,” not according to social media expectations. So what if I don’t post exactly at the same time each week. Will I get punished by Google, SEO, Twitter, FB, etc.
“GUTSY” INTERVIEWS: I shall keep interviewing “Gutsy” people, and my first interview in 2015, is the talented, Rebecca Hall. Click here to join this live awesome interview on Saturday, January 24th, at 9 a.m. PST. Please tune in and listen to my friend who lives in Athens, Greece. We shall discuss:
- Her new site, “Life Beyond Borders” originally called Leaving Cairo, and why she changed it.
- What Beccy does, her travel work (especially Rough Guides), why she started a blog, and what she hopes to achieve from her blog in 2015
MY GUTSY STORY® ANTHOLOGY: I submitted the “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology for another Award and plan to attend the IBPA (Independent Book Publishers Association) conference in Austin, TX, April 10-11th, 2015. Hopefully all 46 authors who contributed their story, will win this Award.
WORK ABROAD: I plan to volunteer in Spain again in May-June 2015, with Vaughan Volunteers, speaking English to Spanish business people for one week. Last year I was in Torrecaballeros, (see my post here.) This time I shall be in a 13th Century village called, Pedraza. I also hope to work either with the Peace Corps, or as a teacher of English, abroad in 2015.
PUBLISH 3rd MY GUTSY STORY® ANTHOLOGY IN 2015. Please submit your stories for our next Anthology. It’s FREE on GUTSY LIVING® site, and only $79, to be considered for publication in our 2015 Anthology.
CONTINUE HELPING AUTHORS PROMOTE THEIR BOOKS. See what I can do for you HERE.

(WE NEED MORE STORIES, SO HERE’S YOUR CHANCE TO GET PUBLISHED IN THE AWARD-WINNING ANTHOLOGY.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR with fresh flowers from Amsterdam market where I was on December 30th, 2014

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Every Monday, we shall feature a short story on “Gutsy Living” about something Gutsy you have done in your life that either:

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Changed the way you think about something.
Made your life take a different direction.

You can check out all the details on the Join the “My Gutsy Story” contest page.

Each month, the winner gets to pick one prize.

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Staying in the “Red Light” District of Amsterdam

December 29, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 5 Comments

old nickel photo — Old Nickel Hotel, Red Light district, Amsterdam. Click on photo.

The youth hostel I booked for my 20-year-old son, Jordan, and myself, is located in the heart of the red light district of Amsterdam.

What an experience walking through the streets at midnight, and seeing beautiful young women in minuscule bikinis, standing behind glass windows offering their services.

As a mother, I couldn’t help but think:

How sad for young women to sell their bodies
How sad for the mothers of these young women
I hope they’re warm behind these windows. It’s freezing outside

It reeks of weed everywhere, especially in our hostel. The narrow, winding staircase, proved to be a major workout with my 50- pound suitcase, and a backpack. I asked for a quiet room, and was allocated one on the 3rd floor, with a shared toilet and shower.

It wasn’t quiet all night. I guess, I’m roughing it, as far as a middle-aged, western woman, however, I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have a twin bed and central heating.

We checked in the “Old Nickel” youth hostel at 4 p.m., after our 3-hour train ride from Paris to Amsterdam, on the comfortable, Thalys train from, Gare du Nord, Paris.

Amsterdam is quite the booming city, and our ten-minute walk from Central Station to the hostel–with suitcases and backpacks–proved to be quite a “gutsy” adventure, especially timing the crossing of the streets, attempting to avoid trams, bicyclists, cars, and people.

I should have read the “Lonely Planet” description of the hostel, before booking it.

“Location, location: the Nickel will appeal to everyone looking for a simple place to crash after a red-light romp. Go up (and up and up) the steep stairs from the historic, well-stocked pub, and you’ll find clean no-nonsense rooms, all bathrooms shared. Rates include a big cooked breakfast and drop sharply during the week.”

Instead, I focused on the fact that the hostel is, supposedly, only a 3-minute walk from the Central Station of Amsterdam. I guess if you have no luggage, and know where you’re going, you can jog in 3-minutes.

One of the reasons I picked Amsterdam, was to meet my friend, Ubit. I have not seen Ubit since 1974 when we were at boarding school together in the UK.

Ubit hasn’t changed, and we reconnected instantly. She said a couple of things that made me happy, as I had forgotten what I was like in boarding school.

“Sonia, you were always the one who asked the teacher questions. None of us had the courage to ask the strict teachers what you asked.”

I took that as a compliment, and it reinforced the concept of being “gutsy,” even when I was seventeen.

Ubit took us to her friends who have a bike shop called, Starbikes rental. Dan from Australia, and his partner, Linda, from Holland, specialize in bike rentals, and even offer a way for people in wheelchairs to ride a bike.

Dan demonstrating an engine to hold on from a wheelchair

We decided to take a bike rental tour of Amsterdam. I think this may be a fabulous way to see the city, as long as I follow the Dutch bike rules. At least we’re not in the U.K. where they ride on the left side of the street.

More news later….

“Joyeaux Noel” from France and “God Jul” from Copenhagen

December 25, 2014 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

Copenhagen Airport Christmas Tree — Copenhagen Christmas Tree

“Joyeaux Noel,” or Merry Christmas to all my friends from Paris.

We arrived in Paris yesterday from Copenhagen. My son, Jordan, was surprised that he didn’t need to show his passport or stop for customs in Paris. We walked straight through and avoided those who guided us towards their taxi service. I wasn’t sure if they were legitimate taxi drivers, so we followed the arrow to “Taxis,” where several cars were waiting.

Everything is closed on Christmas Day, except for the bakers. We bought several loaves of fresh bread this morning for our French Christmas dinner tonight.

Dad and Jill offered champagne and canapes (small appetizers) to celebrate our arrival in Paris.

I’m getting used to youth hostels, however something strange happened in Copenhagen. I booked a double room with a shower. The bathroom had a baseball-cap sized sink, and I didn’t realize the shower was attached to the ceiling. You were supposed to turn on the faucet and pull on the pop-up drain stopper to make the water spray from the shower above us. This meant that the entire bathroom became the shower.

front part of the Copenhagen Youth Hostel

Our Copenhagen Downtown Youth Hostel was located in the perfect place to walk on Stroget, the famous pedestrian street in Copenhagen, Tivoli, and the little Mermaid.

Sonia enjoying Danish wienerbrod (Danish pastry)

Lilian on Stroget (The pedestriaan street in Copenhagen)

A fish spa, where tiny fish clean your feet

I hope you have a lovely Christmas and holiday with your family and friends.

Christmas Time in London, Suffolk and Copenhagen

December 22, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 6 Comments

100_2714 — Santa and his elf at Heathrow Airport, London

After a couple of nights in our first youth hostel, close to Paddington Station in London, Jordan and I took the train from Liverpool Street station to Stowmarket in Suffolk.

The train was full of commuters heading back to the countryside after a days work in London. My friend, Sallyann, picked us up at the train station, and drove us to her charming, countryside farm house where they raise chickens and grow their own vegetables.

We visited the seaside resort of Southwold, on the Suffolk Heritage coast. Although quite cold in December, with one “gutsy” surfer trying to catch waves in the North Sea, Southwold is booming with tourists in the summer.

After catching up with Sallyann, and a fun evening at a local village pub, we caught the National Express bus from Ipswich to Heathrow airport. It took three hours on a comfortable bus, then we headed to Terminal 2 for our SAS flight to Copenhagen.

Heathrow airport has personality. It’s one of my favorite airports, and as soon as we passed security, we were welcomed by Santa and his elf. I could not resist a photo opportunity with Santa.
Families traveling to Copenhagen for the holidays, or ending their vacation in London, brought a festive atmosphere to the flight.

Jordan and I showed our American passports and received a warm and welcoming smile from the customs agent. The woman before us, dressed in a burka, was told to step aside; she did not have a visa to enter Denmark.

My Danish friend, Lilian, and her husband, met us at the airport and drove us to our second youth hostel in downtown Copenhagen called CPH Downtown.