Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

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From Frugal to Regal thanks to Buick

October 6, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

My cell phone rings, “We’re here to deliver your car,” the guy from Page One Automotive says.  I have no idea what to expect, and run down the hallway to open my garage door. There, parked on the street, sits a gorgeous silver 2011 Buick Regal Turbo Sedan. A little intimidated,  I stop half way down my driveway. The delivery guy hands me the remote, requests my signature on his paperwork, and within seconds he’s gone. Now it’s just me and my luxury car for the next four days.

Buick Regal CXL Turbo charged

It takes me a while to pluck up the courage to check her out. First I have to get my heart rate back to normal and make sure my hair and make-up look just as polished as Regal, before I take her for a spin.  Her flowing lines and sculpted body deserve to be seen, so what better place to take her than the upscale Newport Beach Library, where I’m editing my travel memoir.

As I roll my computer case through the garage, my Kia Rio looks concerned. “Don’t worry, you’re still mine,” I say.

My Kia Rio

 

Regal is outside, waiting for me, and as I click on the remote to open her trunk, I realize, “OMG, I lost the key.” I back track through my garage, eyes focused on the cement floor but I can’t find it. I ask my 23-year-old son to help me look for it. He inspects the remote and all of a sudden, this metal prong ejects. “There’s the key,” he says. Now I feel dumb.

The silver button releases the metal prong key

I head back to Regal, open the doors and slide into the soft leather seat. I already feel pampered, wondering if this seat will start pulsing and kneading my back like the one at the nail salon. I insert the key and the engine purrs ever so smoothly.

Everything is elegant inside, from the leather steering wheel to the ebony trim with its piano-black accents. But like any woman, I need music to get in the mood, so I play with the sound system first.

I’ve never been inside a car with a seven speaker sound system, and once I discover XM Radio, I’m hooked. I find my favorite dance hits on “The Groove,” and start wiggling to the beat, reminiscing over my night club days in Paris where I’d dance to Donna Summer and other disco hits. Now I’m relaxed in my elegant interior when I hear a tapping on the window. It’s my neighbor from across the street.

“Got a new car?” he asks.

“GM offered me a car to drive to Speed Fest this weekend,” I reply.

“Looks great,” Jim says.

“I love it, but I can’t figure out where the hand break is.”

“Let me take a look.”

I get out and Jim gets in.

“See the red light with the P?” I say “Well, does that mean the brake is on?”

Jim fumbles around with various buttons, then pulls out the manual from the glove box and thumbs through to the correct page. He reads the instructions.

I’ve never heard of an electric park brake before, and once Jim figures out how to release it, I take off and start jammin’ to Ray Parker Jr. & Raydio playing,  “For those who like to Groove.”

As my foot pushes down on the accelerator, I feel the turbo kick in, giving me the boost I need to pass a slow Lexus before the on-ramp to the 405 freeway. I’m in my own cocoon, happy and enjoying a luxury I’m not used to. What a difference from six years ago when my family lived a simple life on the island of Ambergris Caye.  We would take our kids to school by boat.

My husband can’t wait to drive Regal to Speed Fest.

“Here’s the address,” I say, handing him the paper.

“Why don’t you enter it in the navigation system,” he says.

“I’m not sure how it works.”

It’s not as easy to figure out as I thought so I pull out my tablet for navigation. Too much technology to keep up with, and we’re running late.

The ride to Coronado is smooth, turbo-powered and luxurious. I head over to the Chevy booth where they are celebrating 100 years of Chevy + 100 years of Naval Aviation, and thank Dave Barthmuss and Sara Leeper for offering me four days of luxury driving.

Sonia and Chevy Horse less carriage

 

Speed fest car racing
Sara and Sonia at Chevy Speed Fest booth

 

Not long ago, I contributed to a blog post on GM’s the future is electric blog and was offered a nice car to drive, plus 8 tickets to attend Speed Fest in San Diego. Since my youngest son, 17, enlisted, I have been involved with Cell phones for Soldiers which Chevy is also helping raise funds for. Please contact me if you have a use cell phone you wish to get rid of.

 

Navy Seals parachuting
Sonia at Chevy Booth for Speedfest

 Photos of Buick Regal above

Do you enjoy driving? What features are important to you in a car?

Project Runway: Nick Verreos hosts Style Week OC

October 3, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

 

Imagine my excitement when Suzanne Broughton, and Marcy Massura, founders of  OC BlogCrush asked me to participate at Style Week Orange County and blog about the event.

Photo of the selected OC BlogCrush team of bloggers, (I’m top row, second from the right, Marcy is next to me with reddish/brown hair, and Suzanne Broughton is next to Marcy Massura.)

Suzanne Broughton and Marcy Massura started OCBlogCrush in 2009 and here they are with the host Nick Verreos

Suzanne, Nick, Marcy

This was my first event and all of us enjoyed a fabulous fashion show with the latest fall fashions and beautiful models with Nick Verreos, former contestant from Project Runway as our host.

Here’s a video of Nick demonstrating the catwalk to one brave guy who tried it out.

In going with the theme of my blog, I could not resist asking Nick,

“What are the  “top 3″ most Gutsy things he’s ever done?”

Below are Nick’s responses, which he took the time to write over the weekend.

1) First on my “Top 3” Most Gutsy things I’ve ever done: After years of studying and getting my Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science/International Relations, from UCLA and even after taking the Foreign Service Exam to go into the State Department’s Foreign Service–I decided to secretly apply to all the top Fashion Colleges and see if I would get accepted (based only on my sketching ability) and they ALL accepted–and that’s when my life took a new turn and I decided “No Should’ve Would’ve Could’ve” and went on to follow my real dream of studying fashion and becoming a Fashion Designer.

Sonia flattered when Nick Verreos tells her, "You have a model's figure."

(I told Nick that famous photographer Alissa Everett,  whom I hope to interview when she returns from her trip abroad, also turned her passion for photography into her job.)

2) Second on my list of Gutsy Things–was after 10+ years of working for many, many fashion companies and many, many designers–as an Assistant Designer, Pattern Maker, Designer–you name it, I did it–I decided to start my own label NIKOLAKI--along with my partner David Paul, in 2001. Giving up a stable job to start my own company and all the MADNESS and stress that comes along with that–was definitely Gutsy. It could have failed but here we are ten years layer!

 (I told Nick about Chris Guillebeau whom I met at Book Soup in LA, wrote the book, The Art of Non-Conformity, which appeals to all those who are looking to quit their 9-5 “cubicle” job and follow their passion.)

3) Doing Project Runway back in 2005. This followed on my “No Should’ve Would’ve Could’ve” mantra—I already had a successful NIKOLAKI line, had been teaching at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising for several years and so why would I want to do Project Runway? Why not? I wanted to reach a wider market and have my gowns and dresses be seen by a larger demographic. And also I just wanted to shut my friends up, who kept insisting “You should TOTALLY do this!”. I never expected to be on the show. I just wanted to say “Look, I did it, I went to the casting…I tried…” Well, the rest is, I guess, “history”. But also a lesson in Being Gutsy!

 Love your mantra Nick, “No Should’ve Would’ve Could’ve”

I’ll add a Fourth for good measure: Buying a House!! All on my own, with my own money–without “mommy and daddy’s help” thank you very much! That was probably one of the GUTSIEST things I’ve ever done! I cannot remember the last time I had such stomach aches and headaches. I think during that time, I lived permanently on Mylanta, Pepto Bismol and Imodium AD! ( I know, sorry, T.M.I.). I would definitely put it as one of the Top Most Gutsiest Things I’ve done in my life so far.

“Congratulations Nick. Look forward to when my own three sons can afford their own houses.“

I apologize for the lack of “I Bungee Jumped from the tallest building in the World!” or “I dived off the rocks in Acapulco”, or “I traveled through Afghanistan and Nepal without my Gucci Loafers”–I’m sure compared to other people’s “Most Gutsiest” things, mine are oh-so boring…but they were Gutsy to me 🙂

Best–

Nick Verreos

The models were gorgeous and with our own VIP lounge,

Our own VIP lounge for bloggers

and the gracious hosting of  StyleWeek OC, with generous gift cards (yes, I was lucky to win one), tons of goodies, a wonderful meal served in a shoe box from NordStrom’s Cafe Bistro.

Nordstrom offered a tasty dinner in a shoe box.

 Here are more photos of the Nick Verreos, the models, the bloggers and the whole Syle OC Event.

Hope you enjoy the photos of the fashion show and I’ll post a short video of the models and the show on my FB Gutsy Living page.

 

99-years-old and still upbeat

September 29, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

As many of you know, I seek out “Gutsy” people and when Posie showed up, I couldn’t resist.

Posie is a clown, but not your ordinary clown. She’s a 99-year-old clown.  (More photos of Posie )

Her real name is Marie Kellogg, and guess what? She’s a world traveler, scuba diver, business entrepreneur and wisdom giver.

When people interview Posie she says, “You’re here because I’m a clown, right? Or do you just want to know the secret of a long life? Well, I’ll tell you both. There’s no secret. “Have fun and keep breathing.”

The problem Posie has these days is her hearing, and with one hearing aid in each ear Posie is concerned. “You’ve got to be able to hear,” she says, “especially with little kids. A clown has to talk to her people.”

When asked about travel, Posie says something truly inspiring:

  • People think they can be too old to travel.
  • I’ve got the time to do it.
  • I’ve gone by myself, with friends and in groups.
  • You experience life better when you go.

What a brilliant piece of advice from Posie. I believe travel benefits the mind, and that seeing other places and experiencing new cultures helps you get out of your comfort zone. As you can hear in my podcast with Robert MacPhee, travel makes it easier to take risks and overcome your fears.

Posie visited Africa two years ago and says:

“When you see how little people really need, all the stuff you want doesn’t make sense anymore.”

Once again, Posie and I are in agreement. Living in a third world country is the best way to learn the difference between wants and needs.

Not only does Posie have eight passports, each a reminder of her travels from London to Australia, but she’s also planned a cruise to Hawaii in March, 2012. I love the fact that Posie is looking for a date, and find it interesting how people’s expectations change with time.

“If you know a 90-year-old man, let me know. But he has to be able to walk, and it would be nice if he could still drive.”

Here’s what Posie had to say about her first time para-sailing a few years ago:

“Oh, you don’t do nothing except stand there and let them hook you up.”

Then she discovered scuba diving.

“I was in the water with Cousteau. Not Jacques but his son. I was in seventh heaven looking all around.”

Posie or perhaps I should call her by her real name, Marie Kellogg, was born in 1912 in Kansas.

Life hasn’t always been easy for her. She married a widower with four children when she was 24, and raised his children. She always wanted her own children but tried for sixteen and a half years, and never conceived.

She worked hard in a man’s job in those days, running a gas station.

“I sold more fan belts than anybody,” she says. “In those days, women weren’t supposed to work, and my husband said he wouldn’t trust a woman to do a lube job anyway.”

Her husband died of pancreatic cancer when Kellogg was only 40.  She had very little money and no income, so she moved back with her siblings and disabled mother in Kansas City.  But Kellogg was a sharp business woman and started small. She bought her first apartment, then the one above and below her. Then she bought a fixer upper house.

“I have enough money. It’s not everything, believe me.”

Her real joy in life is to dress up and perform as a clown.  Although she no longer performs as a clown, her main reason is make-up:

“It kept drifting into my face cracks and, well, I looked scary…You know, noses never wrinkle?”

But as a clown, Posie is ageless, although she states:

“I hope to hell I don’t live to be 107. My doctor says I’m depressed. But I’m realistic. I’ve lived a fun life with good times, and why would I want to stick around for the bad part?”

Photo credit and the entire article linked here:

“What’s so funny about turning 99? Ask Posie the clown. “

Please share with someone in your life who needs uplifting. Do you know any “Gutsy” people you’d like me to interview?

Please contact me.

 

“How to get out of your comfort zone” podcast

September 26, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

Last week I asked Robert MacPhee all the questions I received from you on my blog and via e-mail. Here in my very first podcast interview (44 minutes long) and your chance to listen to Robert’s answers. I have outlined the order in which I asked the questions below. Please contact Robert directly if you wish to purchase his book, Manifesting for Non-Gurus: How to Quickly & Easily Attract Lasting Results, and the companion journal. Robert is very helpful, if you have other questions for him. (Please click link below to listen to podcast.)

PODCAST WITH ROBERT MACPHEE 9-22-11

  • Not getting the results I want: Why? Q: Over the years I have been told that to manifest something one has to be pure of heart as well as intentioned, however, I have noticed that I have had clear intentions which have manifested nothing or not what I desired, and other times with unclear intentions manifest things better than expected. What is going on there?
  • Procrastination and self-sabotage. Q: My comfort zone is impeding me from going ahead with a lot of seemingly easy things that would not stop someone like you. By now, after 18 years and 4 finished books, I should have published much more than I have yet I constantly self-sabotage my chances. Lots of people have encouraged me, but I procrastinate, make excuses to myself and others, and put up obstacles in my own path. It’s as if I’m expecting, by some stroke of fortune, that this will all just happen. My question might be: Why do I constantly self-sabotage myself from making any real effort to be published?
  •  How not to fall back into old habits and choices. Q: I’m in the process of recreating a new life for myself after a divorce and want to know how I can avoid falling into the trap of doing things that are familiar and comfortable that will take me back to my old life. For example, I’m dating a guy that has the same 4-5 characteristics of my ex-husband and I don’t want to go there again.
  • Divorce, Loss of Spouse, Feeling stuck. Q: My friend Tina lost her husband three years ago. They lived in Panama and she was forced to come back to the U.S. to live with her dad in Colorado for financial reasons. She’s in her 50’s and her dad wants her to move out by December and get a job.
  • Travel and your comfort zone. Q: What effect do you think travel has on a person to get out of their comfort zone and change?
  • Fear and how to overcome it. Q: As I have gotten older I have developed an intense fear that sometimes cripples me. Some days are ok and some days I can’t do anything. It comes over me like a panic attack. I know this fear is keeping me from doing things. For example, I would love to teach at a college but I am afraid to stand up in front of a group. How do I stop this “fear”? I have become fearful of the fear! I know it’s irrational and silly but I can’t shake it. I have even thought of acupuncture or hypnosis. It is stopping me from being gutsy.

 I hope your questions were answered. Please share if you have a friend who might be going through a similar problem and needs to get out of their “comfort zone.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

How women need to speak to men to get results.

September 22, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

If  I told you that most women don’t speak the language that men understand and get upset when their needs aren’t being met, would you agree?

As the only female in my family (expect for my dog) I did not realize how much more effective my communication skills with three sons and husband could have been if I had learned how to speak, “Men-glish.” No, this is not a joke, I’m serious. I could have had results when I asked instead of “nagging” for things to get done around the house. But fortunately, it’s not too late. I listened to Alison Armstrong speak at the “Inside Edge” about effective communication with males, whether at home or in the work place, and bottom line, there is a huge difference between the way men and women communicate and how they interpret what they hear.

Alison Armstrong started studying men, twenty years ago,  Like so many women she thought:

  •  Men don’t care.
  •  Men were actively withholding  it.

She soon discovered how much men want women to have what they need and that women don’t know how to ask for what they need. The problem, according to Alison, is that:

  • Women need to ask for what they need.
  • Women need to stop asking for what they want.

One problem is that most women say, “But I don’t know if I deserve what I need?” A lot of this stems from their upbringing and how their own mothers used guilt; for example, “Do you know how much I’ve sacrificed for you?” which explains why women sometimes have trouble asking for what they need. Alison believes that women don’t ask for what they need (like attention) because of these issues of (not) deserving.

  • Women and men don’t ask for what they need so the other person can understand.
  • Men often exert so little pressure that their partner didn’t realize they were asking and interpreted it as simply “sharing.”
  • Women have a tendency to ask-ask-ask-ask, the same thing over and over again, so men tune out and think they’re “nagging.

Alison says a woman needs to ask herself, “Do I really need this?” first before she follows through with the four steps below.

We need to go from Ask to Enforce to get what we need.

(Level of escalation) is marked with numbers

  • Ask (3)
  • Insist (5)
  • Demand (7)
  • Enforce (10)

Have a great ASK. For example, “I need you to organize your closet.” (if you’re talking to a teenager.)

INSIST, is a reiteration of ASK adding, “Was there something you needed to get it done?

DEMAND, “I asked, gave you what you needed, but you didn’t get it done. I want to give you another chance, but if you don’t want to, then you go to ENFORCE.

There are 4 element to a great ASK.

  1. I need______ (simple statement)
  2. It looks like______ (what, when, how often, by when) describe details. Most couples assume the other person knows what this means and looks like. Describe it. For example if you want more affection, describe what theat means to you. Don’t assume the other person knows.
  3. It would provide______ (give, allow, create, results, qualities) Explain this is why it matters to me. Alison gave the example of what she said to her small kids. “If you let mom sleep until 7, mom will be more patient.” Let the other person know what’s in it for them.
  4. What do you need to give me what I need?______(This is the partner question.)

You can also ask your partner, “What’s your favorite way to be asked?”

or “What do you need to give me what I need?”

I experimented yesterday with my husband and it worked. Instead of say, “Can you check out…..” which is usually how I ask my husband, I said, “I need you to check out….” and he did it right away, which avoided all the nagging.

Do you already know how to communicate efficiently with men, your spouse, your kids?

If you’re a guy, do you agree that you prefer to be asked directly, with a “I need you to…?”

Please don’t forget to call in with your questions today, September 22nd, at 4pm PST with expert Robert MacPhee. Check out how and why

 Photo credit above

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