When I was six years old, my second grade teacher, Ms. Medley, gave me my first writing assignment. The only rule of the assignment was to write one paragraph about something that I wanted. My assignment was titled: I Want A Dog. Paragraph one started with how much I would have liked to have a dog (very much), why (because they are so cute and fluffy), and why I couldn’t have one (our home was too small). Then, when I finished with the reason as to why I couldn’t have a dog, I began a second paragraph. Then a third and a fourth. By the time I ran out of paper, I had written 100 pages.
Monday morning came, and Ms. Medley read a few students’ paragraphs aloud. When she finally got to mine, she held up my notebook to the class and said, “Felicia has written a novel! It is called I Want A Dog.”
After school, Ms. Medley took the time to explain to me what a novel is. She explained that a novel is a prose narrative made up of characters, emotions, and expressions. She told me that the writers who produce these novels are called authors. Ms. Medley said that if I keep writing, filling up a hundred-plus pages of notebooks, then one day I could be an author.
I asked her if I was in trouble for doing the assignment incorrectly. Ms. Medley’s reply was not what I had expected. She said, “Felicia, the assignment was completed correctly as long as it was written by you, and you feel that everything that you want to express is in the story.” I said it was, and she replied, “Okay. You’re a writer. Keep on writing.” I never forgot Ms. Medley’s encouraging words, and I kept writing through my adolescent years.
Growing up, I suffered from child abuse. My parents had me when they were very young, and my mother was single for the majority of my teenage years. As the oldest of my mother’s four children, I took on a lot of responsibility taking care of my brothers and sister. Being forced to grow up fast had its consequences.
When I was fifteen years old, I had a best friend named Holly. Holly was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My friend lost her battle with BPD and committed suicide when she was only fifteen years old.
I developed major depression and I was put on medication and saw a therapist. However, I found that writing was the best therapy. I wrote journals about my memories of Holly, and what it was like growing up. Before I realized it, the journal had turned into a novel of great memories. Coping with depression through writing saved my life.
Years after Holly’s death, I had an idea to write a story about a girl who suffered from depression and BPD, but survived all that she had been through. I started on a story, with Holly in mind and combined a bit of what it was like growing up for me and surviving my own experiences.
I knew that if I had continued down the path of healing, that I would be able to help others who had suffered from child abuse and mental illness through my writing. Therefore, I continued to write and produced my first novel called Her. Her is a story of hope and survival.
Speaking out through writing was the gutsiest thing that I can say I’ve done. My gutsy story is about speaking up and speaking out through my writing. I use writing to help others who have suffered abuse, people who struggle with mental illness and their family, friends and loved ones. I share my story to help others, instead of using it as an excuse to not accomplish my goals and move forward in life.
I’m a youth advocate, mentor, and behavioral health worker. I speak out against child abuse and work to raise awareness about mental illness, particularly personality disorders. As a mentor, I’ve helped youths who are in patient treatment transition to living an independent life outside of the hospital. I’ve helped them prepare for job interviews, pay their own bills, and apply for colleges after finishing high school. I’ve seen many youths who struggle with mental illness transition from being completely dependent on they system, to gaining their independence and living on their own.
I’ll never forget the first time Ms. Medley had told me what an author is. From that moment, I knew that was my calling. Writing is my life because writing saved my life. Writing brings out many relatable emotions and thoughts to share with others. I don’t only write for myself, but I write for others. I try to always write with a purpose. It is as Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will not forget how you made them feel.” I write to make my readers feel. Writing about the truth and speaking out is the gutsiest thing I’ve done and will continue to do.
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Fee, I am so glad you wrote about the topic of “writing as therapy.” I know #NAMW and so many memoir writers talk about this. Are you a member of the National Association of Memoir Writers? Linda Joy Myers is the President. I shall post your story there.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..“How Writing Saved My Life” by Felicia Johnson
Sonia, it would be great to share this with Ms. Medley. I hope to one day be able to get in touch with her. I’ll check out NAMW. I’m not a member yet, but I will certainly look into it per your recommendation. Thank you so much!
I think you’ll find this group very helpful and they are on FB as well as a membership if you wish to follow their webinars, etc.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..“How Writing Saved My Life” by Felicia Johnson
Felicia, this is an amazing and heartfelt gutsy story. It sounds like writing has helped you get on the other side of all the pain. You have endured so much in your young life so now you can pay it forward to others who need the hope and courage to rise above their challenges. Thank you for sharing your story so openly and bravely. And thanks to Ms. Medley. Congratulations on publishing your book. How proud she would be to see what you have done with the talent that she noticed in you in the 6th grade. Your beautiful photo says it all. Blessings to you,
Kathy Pooler
http://krpooler.com
Thank you so much Kathy! Hugs and blessings to you. 🙂
A very moving story. i had to laugh loud when Ms. Medley said, “Felicia has written a novel! It is called I Want A Dog. what a way to recall such a beautiful moment. please could you explain to me why the death of a person causes depression? also, w’d like to find out about your time with the therapist. what did she tell you.
Hi Joe! Thank you so much for reading my gutsy story. It is kind of funny now that I’m older. But when I was a kid and she said that to the whole class, I remember feeling a bit embarrassed. I think that it was because I had no idea what a novel was at the time. LOL As far as my depression, it was caused by Holly’s death, but it definitely was depressing to lose a dear friend. Thanks again for reading my story, Joe! Take good care!
What a wonderful story!
I don’t envy your childhood but I envy you having a Mrs. Medley who understood that telling the story is what is important and that writing can impact on a persons life more than almost anything.
Again this was incredible–but so are you
pia recently posted..Under Construction
Pia! You’re too awesome. Thank you. Mrs. Medley was an incredible teacher. I remember her the most out of all of my elementary school teachers. She pushed me the hardest and she was constantly encouraging me to write. Everyone should have a Ms. Medley in their life no matter what their passions and aspirations are. We all need someone to encourage us and push us forward.
Hi Fee! 🙂 I didn’t know that you were a writer! I write too! I even write a daily blog. 🙂 Nice to know that a former student of mine has a love for the ‘truth’ and for words! 🙂
Debbie Malloy recently posted..“I Have No Birds!…Or Do I?!”
Debbie!!! I miss you, sister. How are you? I didn’t know that you’re a writer. That’s so great! I’ll have to check out your blog, for sure. You were also one of my good teachers. 🙂
Awwwwwww! 🙂 I’m sorry I’m just now answering this. I just saw it now!! Ha! Ha!…I’d love to hear how you’re doing! Email me some time!!! ♥
Felicia, how fortunate you were to have a teacher encourage you to write. I was incredibly moved by your story and how writing helped you work your way through tough times. My sister committed suicide and though it has taken me time to be able to write about that, the pieces I’ve written have been critical to healing.
Carol Bodensteiner recently posted..Historical Fiction Reading Challenge – 2014
Hi Carol,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my gutsy story. Writing does help through the most difficult of times. It’s wonderful that you’ve been able to use writing as a way of healing from your own loss. Suicide is such a hard reality to face. It’s even harder when it hits close to home. I’m encouraged by you sharing your story of losing your sister and finding a way to heal.
This has made me cry, but in a good way because I feel some hope. I have BPD and It controls my life it seems. Reading this has given me hope that I can change this. Thank you, thank you so much Felicia
Hi, Victoria. Thank you so much for your comment. Reading it made me tear up a bit. It is so great to hear that you feel hope because it is so true that there is so much hope out there for you and all of us who suffer from mental illness. Having major depression is not easy, but like you, I’m highly encouraged by others who are gutsy enough to share their stories of hope and encouragement.
Felica!! You continue to inspire my dear. I know there is a writer within me somewhere so I want to thank you for keeping me motivated to bring her out! Love your story!
Teresa, you definitely have an incredible story to share. I encourage you to continue to write. There are so many people who will be moved by your story.
Felicia recently posted..My Gutsy Story
I am feeling your love! Writers can relate to your story. Keep up the wonderful work. I wish you oceans of blessings for the new year.
Thank you, Sharon. Many blessings to you and yours!
Felicia recently posted..January Blog Tour with Dreams Come True!
Hey Fee!
you are amazing and your story is gutsy, just like you!
Ms. Singh,
The same can be said for you! 🙂
Felicia recently posted..Blog Tour Links for 1/12/14
Fee, your writing has inspired me. I am writing my first book and knowing you and how you came to write is helping me get through some of the difficult things I am writing about…child abuse, foster care and a cat! You encourage me so much and I appreciate you sharing your gutsy story, and I know how much guts it takes to write your feelings. Great job on your book. You are an amazing woman!
Kathy, it takes one to know one!!
You’re too kind Fee!
Thank you!!
Fee recently posted..The Women’s Festival and Gutsy Gals Inspire Me Awards 2014
Just wanted you to know I’m not ignoring you or any of your posts. Having a hard time getting on Facebook and my messaging is messed up. Still love you Fee! email me at the email listed here if you need me or you have an important event going on so I’m sure to get it.
Felicia Johnson.