Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

“My Gutsy Story” by Barbara Ehrentreu

by

The Night I Changed My Life

 During my senior year of college I spent half of it with my boyfriend. Then he left to go to New York City to take a job so he could make enough money to come back for the following year. Every night we talked on the phone for hours and though nothing had been said we were each so involved I knew this wasn’t any ordinary relationship. When at last I returned home for spring vacation, my parents had a long talk with me one night. They were concerned that I was wasting my chances with this young man who had just come back from serving in the military and hadn’t graduated from college. The year was 1965 and my parents wanted me to date other men. The argument went on for hours with me trying to explain why I was drawn to this extraordinary man and how he had affected me. They were worried that maybe he was going to dominate me and I wouldn’t reach my full potential. He had said some really dumb things in an attempt to be controversial as some young men who are rebelling within society will sometimes do. So my parents were worried and urged me with their angry voices to stop this nonsense and give him up. I wound up with tears streaming down my face staring my parents in the eyes and telling them I couldn’t stay there one second more.

In 1965 young girls did not wander around at night alone. I could barely see from the tears blinding me and I grabbed a few things and ran out the door screaming to them that I was leaving and going to my boyfriend who lived in an apartment hotel in Manhattan in a very seedy area. I lived in Kew Gardens, Queens and had to take two subway trains to get to him. I walked outside to a dark and empty street and hopped on a bus to the subway. I called him from a pay phone and said I was coming. We were very much in love so he was thrilled to have me come over to him. I didn’t care that it was past midnight and the subway was filled with the usual characters. There were homeless men who sat alone in the middle of a circle of empty seats. There were the entertainers who went from car to car trying to get people to give them money and of course there were the normal people who rode the subway with vacant eyes. I, not even 21, though a veteran subway rider during the day, had never been alone on the subway at night. I gritted my teeth and tried to be as invisible as possible as I rode the train to the hotel near 14th Street. When I got up the subway stairs to the bustling street I had a moment of panic. What was I doing? Would my parents ever talk to me again? I had no other place to live until I had to go back to school.

Approaching the apartment hotel, I felt a little awkward. Nice girls didn’t go into these places at night and especially to a man’s hotel room alone. I felt almost cheap and nearly left. However, I sucked in my breath and walked through the lobby to the desk clerk and asked him to notify the room. Riding in the elevator I still had second thoughts. But when I found the room and my boyfriend opened the door and saw me I walked into his arms. We spent the night together and the next day we went for a walk on a horse path near the hotel. He seemed nervous and unsettled. Finally, a little way down the path he stopped and got down on one knee with a ring box in one hand. He asked me to marry him and placed the ring, his grandmother’s pearl ring with diamonds on either side of the pearl, on my finger. I said yes and hugged him so hard we almost couldn’t stand. I knew then that my life had changed forever. I had made a decision to spend the rest of my life with this firebrand of a man and it went against all my parents had wanted for me.

Nothing was ever the same again and at that moment I said goodbye to the girl I had been and became the woman I was to be. The future was an open book and I was very happy to open it and begin my new life.

My life has had its ups and downs since that day and I have been at the side of this man as my husband since the day we married. We have navigated a very unusual life that has not been quiet or uneventful and he has never stopped being the same opinionated and argumentative man. My parents are long gone, but after that night they eventually learned to love him too.

Barbara Ehrentreu Bio:

Barbara, a retired teacher with a Masters degree in Reading and Writing K-12 and seventeen years of teaching experience lives with her family in Stamford, Connecticut. She has been editing for 4RVPublishing for several years. When she received her Masters degree she began writing seriously. If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor is Barbara’s first YA novel published by MuseItUp Publishing.

In addition she has a story in the anthology: Lavender Dreams and three poems in Prompted: An International Collection of Poems.

Barbara was a NY Literature Examiner for Examiner.com with several articles for them. Her blog, Barbara’s Meanderings, is networked on both Facebook and Blog Catalog. She hosts Red River Writers Live Tales from the Pages on Blog Talk Radio every 4th Thursday. In addition, her children’s story, “The Trouble with Follow the Leader” and an adult story, “Out on a Ledge” are published online She has written book reviews for Authorlink.com. and several of her reviews have been on Acewriters and Celebrity Café. She is a member of SCBWI. Writing is her life! You can find her on Twitter and on Facebook, and LinkedIn

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Sonia Marsh Says: What a lovely story of the power of love, and how your “gutsy” decision at twenty, was the right one for you. As a mom, I understand what your parents were thinking and feeling, but you proved them wrong by having a long lasting marriage.

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Please leave your comments for Barbara below and share with your fellow readers. Thanks.

Barbara Ehrentreu’s story is the third one this month. We also have Heidi Morrell’s, and Sharon Melton Lippincott’s. The vote for your favorite August “My Gutsy Story” will start on August 30th, until September 12th. The winner will be announced on September 13th.

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Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Comments

  1. Sonia Marsh says

    A wonderful love story. What passion you guys had and what a romance. So happy your love has lasted and your parents changed after they realized how much you were in love.

    • Barbara Ehrentreu says

      Hi MuMuGB. Thank you for visiting and reading my story. My parents didn’t know where I was until the next day. I only called them just before I went back home. Of course, my mother was thrilled I was engaged and so the whole thing kind of dissipated. They were still very lukewarm about my marrying him, but they realized how much in love I was and that I couldn’t stop me.:)

      I hope that answers your question.

  3. Big Josh says

    sad to say, i was there to hear all the commotion before the famous subway ride and its aftermath.
    in defense of the dead, being a parent is the best worst job anyone can have. children come with no manual and very few knobs and dials to monitor and control. i am sure they had the best interests of their children (mixed in with their own particular neuroses).

    • Barbara Ehrentreu says

      Big Josh, so true!!! Unfortunately that is the problem with having an older sibling. Their misfortunes and tirades affect you. You are right about parents and I know our parents did have my best interests at heart. However, their resistance was not the answer then and they probably realized it. As a parent myself, I know that your kids sometimes do the craziest things, but you need to let them do them and learn from their own mistakes. In this case, it was a question of their worrying and you can’t stop parents from doing that!!!

      The good thing about them is that there was a safety net and if things hadn’t worked out they would have been there for me too, I know. I also know that night was probably one of the worst of their lives with no word from me. You, of course, had to suffer it all. Sorry.:)
      Barbara Ehrentreu recently posted..Marva Dasef Unveils Setara’s Genie!!!My Profile

  4. Arlene Webb says

    I knew the moment I meant you in Montreal you were a rebel.
    Thanks for sharing a sweet and heart warming personal story, as well as your novels.

  6. Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane says

    It’s easy to see both sides of the story, and I am very happy for you that you were the one in the right! It makes a great story with a happy ending. Sometimes, even at a young age, when we think we “know” we actually do.

    Sometimes we don’t and it is one of the hardest things to do as a parent to allow your children to dive off the deep end. As a parent, of course, you know 😉
    Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane recently posted..Expat Foodie: It’s Not Just White Stuff?My Profile

    • Barbara Ehrentreu says

      Hi Miss Footloose. Yes, it’s not good when it works out the other way. It’s hard when you’re young, because you want everything right away. Until that moment I had always followed my parents’ wishes and been the “good” girl for them. So I am sure they were horrified to see my behavior. Though we made up, my mother and I didn’t really have the same relationship again. It was about ten years later when we finally were able to really heal and become mother and daughter again.

      Thank you for visiting and for your excellent comment.
      Barbara Ehrentreu recently posted..Marva Dasef Unveils Setara’s Genie!!!My Profile

  9. barbara says

    Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith. I’m happy it worked out so well in the end. In my case it was ‘His’ parents who were against it. On our 40th anniversary they admitted they’d only given us 5 years before we would divorce. It’s good to be right.
    Great story!
    b
    barbara recently posted..The Atmosphere of AbuseMy Profile

    • Barbara Ehrentreu says

      Barbara, I was lucky in that way. When I married him his parents were gone. All we had were his great aunt and uncle and his aunts and uncles. One side of his family was very open and warm and the other was cold. However, almost all of his relatives are now gone. I always wished I could have met his parents so I’d know a little more about him before we met. All I have are old photos.

      Thank you for visiting and for the lovely words.:)
      Barbara Ehrentreu recently posted..Marva Dasef Unveils Setara’s Genie!!!My Profile

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