” Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that has the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.” Dale Carnegie
It’s Wednesday night and I’m cooking dinner wondering, “What the hell am I going to post tomorrow?” (I apologize, I do swear once in a while.)
Does this happen to you or are you so organized that all your posts are prepared weeks or months ahead of time?
Please don’t answer if you’re one of those because you’ll only make me feel like a loser. OK, I admit, I’ll feel happy for you and perhaps a smidgen of envy will creep in wishing that I could be more like you.
So while I stir the mushrooms, let me take a moment to think about what to write next.
I have a confession to make. I’m still working on the rewrite of my travel memoir. I know, I know, why is it taking me so long to finish my travel memoir?
Do you want to know the real reason?
Here it is. “I finally listened to agents, editors, a memoir teacher I had three years ago, and someone important: my husband.”
“Start with the action in Belize,”
“Sonia, too much fluff in the beginning, get to Belize faster.”
It has taken several years for me to hear them, and as I mentioned in the truth about writing a book, publishers are looking for unique stories.
Unless you’re a celebrity, it’s highly unlikely that an editor will be interested in publishing your manuscript if it relates to any of the following problems:
- raising a difficult teenager
- an alcohol problem
- an autistic child
- you’re a cancer survivor
- you suffered abuse as a child
- you left your abusive husband
At least that’s what I’ve heard over and over again. I’m sorry, it sucks, but that’s a fact today and I realize it. That’s why I’m trying very hard to become a celebrity. (Please don’t laugh.)
OK, so here’s something else I want to talk about. I’m very confused about the way I was taught to write in Europe, and the American way. I used to say, “I learnt this,” and it’s taken me almost twenty years to realize that in the U.S. it’s, “ I learned this.”
I also have comma problems. I truly believe the British use more commas than the Americans. At this point I’m so confused, I add a comma just to be on the safe side.
Let’s not get distracted here; I know you care more about other things than my grammar issues. I would like to find out a few things about you.
- Do you find it a challenge to stick to the theme of your blog?
- Are there times when you’d like to write whatever, just like I am today?
- Once you hit publish, do you get nervous what readers will think of your post or should I say you?
- Do you wake up at 2 a.m., in a sweat (ladies you know what I mean) and panic because you don’t have a topic to write about, and you work yourself into a tizzy because you realize your book is more important than your blog, so you start worrying about your kids, your marriage, your life, and global warming? Then by 3 a.m., you finally relax enough to sleep until you decide to get up and write your post before you forget what you wanted to write about.
There are days when we think we’re on a stage, performing for an audience, and in a way being a writer/blogger is the same. Even if we think we wrote a brilliant post, article or book, we can’t be happy until we know what our audience thinks of our “performance.” Of course we can judge by the number of comments, Tweets and reviews we receive, however, this shouldn’t matter as much as what we think of our self.
Oh you made me laugh Sonia. I can so relate to ALL of this. Let me answer your questions… it might help me sort things out, too.
1.and 2. I had no idea what my theme or niche was when I began and I’m still not 100% sure. I now call it the prelude to the memoir. Problem is I can’t write the memoir stories every time. I need a break from it and then I just write whatever is on my mind.
3. I spend so much time editing that I have no problem hitting publish MOST of the time. There are times when I wonder if I spouted off a little too much but sometimes you can’t worry what anyone else thinks.
4. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just gotten up at 4am to write because I know if I don’t I won’t get any sleep at all the rest of the night. Then of course I don’t get anymore sleep anyway and crash and burn at 8pm.
I have to say that I also do that when I’m painting, too. If I wake with the need to get it done I HAVE to do it right away. I have no idea why but I do.
Don’t worry over much… you are perfectly normal my friend!
b
Hi Barbara,
Thanks Barbara. I’m happy to find out I’m normal. I did think I was but had to double check. If I had to paint as well, then I’d never get to sleep. At least we understand one another.
You really made me laugh, too, Sonia! Note position of commas, this is old style English grammar. I love how this post really allows your comedic side to come through. And as for you wanting to become a celebrity………I did laugh at that; not at of the idea of you being famous, you go girl, but because of your writing. Something happened to your writing in this post where you’re writing whatever!!!
In answer to your questions:-
* Sticking to theme? No probs it’s VERY loose.
* I ALWAYS write what I want.
* If I feel nervous I feel the fear and do it anyway.
* Wake up at 2am? I’m never in bed before then and regularly stay up far beyond that. One night I played music for 12 hours straight (Yes, I’m a celebrity in my own lounge. A legend actually.) and when I Finally gave in I looked at my tv only to discover London was burning. It was the first night of the riots.
Maggie recently posted..PARADISE
Maggie,
Please explain what your commas remark “this is old style English grammar,” means. Are you saying that the English no longer use as many commas as they did in the past? Have they become more American using commas more frugally than before? I need to know.
You answered your own question with your recent FB post so much better than I ever could have done.
Maggie recently posted..THE AUTOMATIC PILOT
Yes, Strange that I found it at the right time.
That’s synchronicity!!!
Maggie recently posted..THE AUTOMATIC PILOT
Sonia, I certainly lie awake at night wondering about various issues: my writing in general, my book, and how to choose where I’m going to be living in the next couple of years (an embarrassment of choices, yes). And then I can’t go to sleep and start writing in my mind and might as well get up.
Although my blog’s subject is well-defined, I still don’t know each week what I’ll come up with and often find myself scrambling around at the last minute finding a story to tell. But so it goes.
Don’t worry about the commas. I also learnt 😉 English British style growing up in Holland, but I think I’ve mostly conquered the American version by now. If you pay attention when you read some good American writing, you’ll get it soon enough.
Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane recently posted..Expat Adventure: Dancing with the Gypsies
Miss Footloose,
It sounds like the majority of writers have the same problem. As far as grammar and punctuation, perhaps I can use my foreign upbringing as an excuse. Sounds good to me.
I think that we do tend to use a lot more commas in British English. For exampe: if we begin sentences with However, or One day, etc… then I definitely want to use a comma whereas Am. English doesn’t.
It doesn’t matter really as long as you find your own style and are then consistent.
Lady Fi recently posted..Dancing in the dark
LadyFi,
I must have kept that comma after however, as I use it in American English too.
I treat my blog as a kind of diary-I write for myself but of course, I am happy when someone else will read it:)
Ola recently posted..Dookoła Lesbos – cz. I/Round the Lesvos island – part I
I know you have many beautiful photos in your posts, whether it’s cooking, or traveling.
Sonia, I loved this blog entry! You’re sooooo honest and it made me laugh too! I’ve got a ton of anxieties too; so do the rest of your readers, I bet.
…I’m only preparing to start a blog and I’m already lying in bed at night wondering what others will think about me & my entries. The idea of “branding myself” is sort of freezing up my sensabilities… But I’m going forward soon anyway.
Thanks for sharing your fears and your courage.
Kas
Kas isn’t it crazy how much time we spend worrying what others will think or say about our writing rather than just writing. I know you’ve published already so you’re ahead of me and many others. I have tons of ideas I want to share, not always related to my theme though.
go sonia! yes – what others think of us shouldn’t matter as much as what we think of ourselves. so i say, it’s your blog and it’s a free-will zone – write about whatever you feel like….remember, you named it gutsy living! i’m always interested in posts in which you reveal more of yourself and your life. why not intersperse that with the more topical issues which also interest you?
Amanda recently posted..athens – city of wisdom, beauty… and sausage the riot dog
Amanda,
I’m going to start a Gutsy submissions request tomorrow.
Oh you are a great storyteller and of course an excellent writer too Sonia!!
Thanks Philip. You’re a great photographer and worldwide networker.
Sonia,
Thanks so much for sharing Dale’s “I can only be me” extract; so true and comforting, what a change from everything we tend to hear around us. We all seem to be having the same dilemnas etc., whether we write books or not ! I personally thought we could CHOOSE between “learnt” and “learned”! On the subject of commas : British people like semi-colons too !
Looking forward to reading all those gutsy stories, what an excellent idea …and it’ll give us the urge to write !
Thanks Carol. I didn’t realize we could write both “learnt” and “learned.” In fact on my blog spell-checker, it doesn’t like, “learnt.”
Thanks for you comment.
Sonia,
I identify with so many of the thoughts/subjects you brought up here. The “what will I blog tomorrow?” feeling when I should (and did) have ones stored up – when I was blogging.
Heeding editorial and a reader’s advice to change the start of the memoir – this, after six years with the same beginning that no one previously had objected to.
The British and American punctuation differences. Like you, I don’t know where to put commas as, different from you, I found the Brits use less and Americans more. Also, punctuation inside a quote rather than outside it.
Until 2008, I thought I had a pretty unique memoir. Turns out that with the way the economy has been going, mine almost falls into one of the above categories that you mentioned.
Finally, the tussle between blogging and social media and writing. If this were my only book, I’d opt for the former, but I have too many other books either written or ready to be written and so I’d rather do that. I know this will change as soon as the book comes out. Keep on putting off the date as I really want to promote it and even with a ready made following, that costs money. So I also have to work.
Penelope J. recently posted..Never Give Up on Your Dream
Pennie,
I understand what you’re saying. It’s very confusing to all of us, and it’s nice when we can open up and share what we’re going through. Many people don’t “tell the whole story” of how they’re struggling too, so it’s refreshing to hear from you. I know you’re working very hard trying to keep all aspects of marketing, working, writing, going at the same time. Keep going.It will all happen for you.