When I first started blogging, I thought, “What has our society come too?”
We sit at our computers, “talk” to others and how sad is that? We should be doing things the good old-fashioned way:
Stage One: Visit/talk
Stage Two: Coffee
Stage Three: A glass of wine with cheese and crackers
Stage Four: Dinner invitation
Stage Five: Long-term friendship.
But isn’t this the same in our social networking world?
First you visit. If you like the person, and what they say, you might hang out and comment or have a coffee with them.
Your new friend comes to visit and has a coffee at your place and then a few more coffee sessions until you jump into the wine, cheese and crackers stage, where you open up a little more, expressing your thoughts. You learn more about your friend’s personality, their thoughts, and what’s important to them.
Finally your dinner invitation. This is when you start e-mailing friends you’ve met online, exchanging phone numbers so you can speak in person, and hear the sound of their voice. If you travel to their town or city, you’ll call and arrange to meet them in person. I’ve done this with some of my online friends. It’s all about adding the human connection to your online friendship, which further strengthens the bond of a true friendship. After all, we are still human and have a desire to see the real person. I believe in making long-term friends.
Just as in the “real” world, some relationships never make it past the visit or the coffee stage. Others, with time, can make it to the dinner and long-term friendship stage. Where are you on this beautiful journey of connecting with people?
I really like how the world has gotten smaller and we can find friendships around the world.
I like how you compared to friendships the old-fashioned way.
Beautiful essay my friend. I couldn't agree more.
Craig
I've just started meeting a few of my cyberfriends. I'm always nervous, but it is fun!
This is an interesting article and i've been discussing this very thing. In the last few months, i have met people on line and become VERY good friends with them. This normally occurs when you get to the email stage and can actually open up about things. One such friend is a telephone buddy now and we're making plans to meet up. You need to be wary but there are great people out there.
I like it! I have met a few new friends in person, and they have all been just as wonderful IRL as they were online.
I've met a couple bloggers. I have a few friends – and I mean friends – and a lot of acquaintances…
Living abroad and always too little time back at home is challenging to meet people but we have email and telephone but it's not the same…
ps. sorry you were late with your WOrds! Perhaps you have time this Friday to be on time! 🙂
Greetings from snowy Helsinki!
@J.D. Meier
I know I've changed from when this whole social networking thing started. I agree, the world becomes smaller and you connect with fabulous people you may never have had the chance to meet before.
@Craig
Thanks Craig.
Comedian Demetri Martin says that real friends are people you can call up in the middle of the night to pick you up at the airport.
Oh I love this… I am at various places with different bloggers I have met. There are 3 or 4 where, if we even lived remotely CLOSE, we would SO be going to each other's houses for dinner. Then, there are bloggers who DO live close to me, and I don't know them well, but b/c of proximity we're planning to meet up. So sometimes it's a matter of convenience! 🙂 Still, I am loving meeting people this way. It's I think a bit more time-consuming but… it's fun!
Hi Sonia!
I have become good friends with several of my blogger friends. Email, snail mail, secrets and happiness!
I like to think back to the days of Pen Pals. Remember those? People never thought that they were any less of a friend than one we would befriend face to face.
So why would this blogging world be any different.
As I've said before, it's the human connection. We all long for it to some extreme.
Actually I think that it is rather presumptuous to presume that we have to be face to face with someone to care for them!
I love the way that you described the relationship! I've never actually thought of it in that way but it is so true! Stages.
Love Di ♥
I really like the comparisons you made. I cherish the blog friends I have made and I think we are sometimes more open with each other than in some face to face friendships.
This is very thoughtful, Sonia.
Sadly, I live hundreds, more like thousands, of miles from my fellow bloggers.
While the stages you identify and explain are real, most are just not part of my reality. Sadly. I e-mail a few, but that's about it.
So much for living in the hinterland.
This is a great post. I am on various stages with my online friendships, but a couple have progressed to the last stage.
And I personally make no difference between 'real' and 'virtual' friends- friends are friends whether you've met them or not
You may well be the first blogger friend I'll meet in "real life" and I'm sure it would be great 🙂
Good post. I've been thinking about the issue of friendship a lot. I do think blogging can leand to valuable and intersting cyber friendships, but I still think there is nothing better than having a real frien in the flesh nearby.
A friend of mine says someone is a real friend if you don't mind her seeing you in your underwear. And I think she meant this both literally and figuratively.
This is a bit difficult to develop in the bloggosphere, but you can certainly develop good vibes and connections that can lead into real-life friendships that then move to the in-the-underwear stage.
I have met a couple of bloggers in real life, and have rather enjoyed it. I've only kept up with one of them, but it's fun to email people that I've got to know through blogging, even if it never progressed beyond the odd email. Good post.
What a wonderful post! It's always exciting when someone leaves a comment or an email that is personalized. I would love to get to the "coffee" stage with many of these lovely people.
Thank you for writing about this!
@Robert
What a wonderful test we can experiment with.
@JKMommy
I do agree that we can broaden our experiences and meet people we may never have met before. Thanks for your visit. Please come back.
@Diana
I had forgotten about PenPals, but I have a few during my childhood. A great reminder. Also, Diana, your post today about your stroke was incredibly moving and brought me close to what you must have been going through. Thanks for opening up about this. Congrats on your two year Anniversary.
@Jeanie
I wonder why we are more open than face to face relationships?
@Rob-bear
I thought you also had some Canadian "close-by" bloggers. Perhaps that's something you should start. Only bloggers who live within 40 miles of my town may join my exclusive Rob-bear club.
Oh nice. Good analogy to real life.
I'm in different stages with different bloggers. From one end of the spectrum to the other. I've met a handful so far, and they are just like they depict themselves in their blogs. Real, genuine people.
@Ladyfi
Have you met many?
@Lynn
I've met Nancy in Florida from my bogger friends. She's wonderful.
@Andrea
I can't wait to connect with at least five online friends, in person.
@BLOGitse
Are you using Skype? I just started.
I love the blogging and social media world because of the wonderful friends I've made online. My world is bigger (because there are more people in it) and lots more fun now. Sometimes when I think about how much time I'd have for writing if I gave up the blog and Facebook and Twitter, I feel a little frightened by the isolation that could result. My local friends are no longer enough. Guess I'll stay online. 🙂