When I mention my fifteen-year-old son is going to Military school, most parents give me their sympathy look. “Oh, you poor thing, your son has behavioral problems.”
I know this look and before they utter a word, I add, “He wants to go. It was his idea.”
Why do so many in the U.S. perceive these schools as a place to send “bad” kids who need discipline and view military school as a form of punishment? Can it not be regarded as a reward? It certainly costs enough to be considered a huge reward in receiving a better education.
I remember asking my own parents to allow me to attend boarding school in England, when I turned fourteen. Why? Because my school in Paris did not offer the subjects I wished to study. There was also another reason; perhaps the same reason why my son wants to leave home.
As an only child, I felt the need to get away from home. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the close relationship I had with my parents, especially my mother, but in order to grow up and make my own decisions, I felt the need to get away. I think my almost sixteen-year-old feels the same. Now that his two older brothers are out of the house, he misses the camaraderie he had with them. Living with other young cadets, will fill him with
long-lasting friendships and a sense of purpose: belonging to a group that studies together with duties and sporting activities on a daily basis.
I am disappointed with public education in California. 2011 is going to be worse than 2010 due to lack of funding and increasing classroom sizes, 40+ students and teachers who no longer have time to motivate those who are average. My youngest son is one of those, and I hate to see his growing lack of interest in school and college. Disgruntled teachers are not going to create a positive school environment, and I cannot blame them.
Over the Easter holidays, my son and I flew to Albuquerque, New Mexico, and drove 200 miles, southeast to Roswell where the New Mexico Military Institute is located. Driving along a ninety-five mile stretch of road without a gas station, building, or human, with winds blowing my car off the road, made for an eerie start to our adventure.
I would not call Roswell a pretty town. It’s isolated, dry and spooky, and apart from NMMI, and the UFO museum, there really isn’t too much to see. (That’s my opinion.)
A replica of an alien found near Roswell on a ranch from UFO crash in July 1947.
After a morning at the UFO museum, my son had a one o’clock interview and test at NMMI. He passed the entrance exam, and I was pleased to hear that NMMI checks students are not being forced to go there against their will.
Ninety-five percent of all NMMI graduates, both high school and junior college, go on to premier 4-year colleges and universities such as Princeton, Cornell, Stanford, Texas, Temple, VMI, The Citadel, and the nation’s Service Academies.
This is therefore not a school that pushes Cadets to enter the military. The first 21 days are not easy: no electronics, only contact with parents is via good old-fashioned letter writing. They wear uniform, they learn structure and discipline, they have study hall every night, and they also have to earn privileges. What a concept in today’s world of entitlement. The school is co-ed, and they have a beautiful gym and game room for kids to enjoy. My son can paintball every afternoon, as a sporting activity. This is his passion.
So I hope he thrives during the last two years of high school and learns the importance of receiving a good education, despite his desire to become a professional paintballer.
What are your opinions regarding military schools, boarding schools etc?
It sounds to me as though your son is craving to challenge his body and his intellect… he sounds like a bright boy. Setting aside all that I personally believe about the Military Industrial Complex and all, if it were my son, I would encourage him. He wants to be part of something larger than himself and the capability to rise to that challenge. Your pride and support should be his.
I would be proud of my son, if he wants to go to a school like that. Like you say, in this age of entitlement, nothing like a good military school to prepare kids for life.
~ Rayna
It seems like he's thought it through, and discussed it with his parents. Full marks for doing those things right at square one.
I hope it works out as well as he hopes.
And what are you going to do in your "empty next" in Naples? Another consideration, for another post.
Of course you should support his choice, he is who he is, and he needs you. Like Robert the Skeptic said, you may need to set aside your own military thoughts and judgments. I have a wonderful cousin who went on to a military college and right into the military, and now, 21 years later, he can retire! How about that at 42! He has a wonderful wife and 4 kids. He calls me his liberal cousin and I call him some names, but we have a wonderfully respectful relationship. Best wishes.
I think that if this is where he feels he belongs, then you have given him the strength and courage to strive for what he longs for.
I have not thought much about military schools, but ever since moving overseas (out of the US), I have a completely different view of boarding schools. I have met many families whose children have attended them and they seem to be just as "normal" as the the person who went to the same school in their hometown their whole life!
When the time comes for our children, of course the decision will be a personal one for what is best for each of our children, but the option has opened up, if needed, to me.
BG
Congratulations on your son's decision! Our daughter is, within the next month, completing her first year at NMMI and was 15 when she started the year. The decision to attend NMMI was solely hers and we supported her 100%. It's been a tough year, both for her and for us, however I will say – without any doubts – that it was the *right* decision. The quality of education for these high school kids is top-notch, an all-around solid experience.
Both of my kids went to boarding academy and had positive experiences. The friendships made at a boarding school seem to be much longer lasting that those made when a child stays home to go to school
An Arkies Musings
@Robert the Skeptic
I think you're right about the challenge part. He wakes up at 4:30 a.m. with me to go to our local 24 hour fitness. Not many 15-year-olds would do that.
@Not Enough hours
Thanks for the encouragement.
@Rob-bear
Rob-bear, you scare me. You seem to know what I'm thinking. This isn't the first time either. Naples would be a great new place for us to move to. My husband and I are already setting up a website for a business, but we also have 2 kids in college and one going to military school. We all know that I shall make tons of money with my first book. Isn't that what the publishers promise? We get a huge advance, they do all the editing to make it perfect, and they pay for a publicist so I don't have to spend a dime of my own. That's what I heard and read.
@Andrea
I'm happy to hear about your cousin and his success. At this point, I'm looking at the military institute as a way to start taking charge of his work and become organized and dedicated. I also think the smaller classrooms will offer him more interaction with the teachers etc.
@Ballerina Girl
I agree that boarding schools, like the one I attended in the UK, offer a wonderful education. All the girls I went to school with were strong self-sufficient women, many extremely bright.
@Anonymous
Thanks so much for your feedback. Perhaps you can e-mail me at:
agutsywriter@gmail.com so U can ask you a few questions. You're the first parent I know with a child at NMMI. Thanks again, Sonia.
@Richies
Where those military? I'm glad to hear that. I also still keep in touch with some of my English boarding school friends.
Military school and boarding school are not for everyone… Hope he enjoys it!
As for me, boarding school was a prison.
I have learned from being in DK that going away to boarding school is such a common thing here..for 1 year or 2. And all my students at the gymnasium that I have asked about their boarding school experiences say the same thing…they would not trade them for ANYTHING! That it was at a time when they were able to figure out who they were without being at home under their folks…
Wow! It sure sounds like he has high standards and priorities. That is so wonderful. Good luck!
Sorry to scare you, Sonia. I'm really quite a gentle Bear. Honest!
If he really wants to go, and you support his desire, then I say go for it. Are there no private day schools/boarding schools near you that he might investigate as well. I work in a private k-12 independent Episcopal school and I absolutely love it. The kids here are really nurtured and want to be here. A caption somewhere on your blog caught my eye right before I started to comment. It said is education a privelege or a right. Having taught in the public schools for thirty one years, many might not want to hear my answer. I will have to go and read what you wrote. I got tired of being the teacher that got a lot of hard core discipline problems "because I could handle them".
Getting back to your post, I do feel that your son will get challenged in a private setting. My daughter went to a private day/boarding school from public school. When she left public school, she was making straight A's in all honor classes. Her first year in her private all girls school, she almost flunked out and we had to hire tutors….what does that say about public education????? She did go on to graduate with honors though. I hope I didn't ramble too much!
It seems like he has thought it through and knows what he wants. I agree with you regarding the benefits and would add that having someone besides his parents making the rules for him is a positive thing.
@LadyFi
I agree with you.
@Mads and Kelli
I didn't realize this was so common in Denmark. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
@Lady Glamis
I was thinking of you today and then I got your comment. It's been a while since I visited your blog and hope your novel is going well.
@Rob-bear
I know you're a gentle bear. You just seem to read my mind.
@Anonymous
Thanks for your comment and all your suggestions. I was surprised to hear about the difference in grades between public school and private. Sounds like University Admissions must prefer students from private schools. Glas you've switched to a teaching job you prefer.
@Jeanie
Yes, you know all about that. Having someone else make the rules is quite beneficial.
Let him does what he likes Sonia!
One of my friend's son went to one of these Military Schools. It was the most beneficial experience. He did not go there due to behavioral problems. What most people don't know is that there are military schools for problematic kids and then there are some really good ones that focus on developing young kids and turning them into well trained and disciplined kids. That is one thing I wish I had done for my boys. Good luck. I bet he will love it. BTW… The kid I am talking about went to Citadel.
I've been thinking about you, too! How is your book going? Mine is currently finished and locked up for awhile, hah. 🙂
That school looks beautiful. That alien, on the other hand, looks scary.
Hi Gutsy,
I just noticed that I posted as anonymous yesterday? How odd! It actually didn't have anything to do with university admissions. She went from ninth grade in public to tenth in private. I think the private school curriculum was much more rigorous and really forced her to put forth more effort. In any event, she caught up by second semester, with the help of tutors and did graduate with honors.
I hope you had a great day!
@Phivos
He wants to become a professional paintballer. Do you know what that is? Do they have that in Cypress?
@Scriber's Web
What great news about the way your friend's son turned out. How are your boys? Hope all worked out well. It's so tough to not worry about them.
@Lady Glamis
My revisions are still progressing but I admit, I'm slow. I do it every day for 3 hours at least though. Are you going to revise again after a while? I wish you all the best as I know that you've mastered the craft.
@Lauri
They used it in the movie about Roswell.
@ veterankindergartenteacher
First, what a long name, but a good one. I'm curious if your daughter is in college like my two older boys.
Wow, Gutsy Writer!
I am so glad I found your website. My son too, wants to go to NMMI. He is a great kid and I am worried that parents send their kids there to get rid of them, i.e. right the check out, so they can get rid of them. I was assured that was not the case. My son has never gotten into trouble at school. My husband and son went to the open house last month (March 2010) and both were impressed. We are waiting for a letter from them. What do you think about the kids that are there?
@Elle
I am very impressed with NMMI and the staff, their cadets and the facilities. I know they want kids who want to be there. My son was asked why he wanted to go, while I was in the other room. He gave them the answer they wanted to hear. I am happy to hear your son wants to go there too. Please send me your e-mail if you wish to correspond. Mine is: agutsywriter@gmail.com. Thanks for contacting me. Sonia.
This is exactly why I find Military schools frustrating – most of them are in America. And America's military schools are very good ones. They don't cost half your parents pay checks in a year, and there are a lot of them that you can find.
The problem with the UK is that there are barely any Military schools out there that are big enough to be spotted by Google. Which is why now I'm spending hours trying to find a military school on the internet which is located in the UK.
@Prettycutie
I went to boarding school in the UK, and thought that in the 1970's, boys boarding schools were supposed to be very strict and disciplined. Have things changed? I'm sure they have. Anyway, most military schools in the US are very expensive, somewhere around $26,000-$36,000/year. NMMI is much more reasonable. The only one I've found, and I was very impressed with their facility. Good luck searching in the UK. Come back and let me know.
@gutsywriter Yes, military schools are strict. It's just that in England, it's extremley hard to find more than 2 military schools… that actually let you do the dirty work (shooting practise in the dirt lol) and they can cost a fortune to cover. I'm glad for your son, I'd really want to be him in this stage!
I would like to read a bit more soon. BTW, pretty nice design that blog has, but don’t you think it should be changed every few months?
@Anonymous
I'm always open to new suggestions.
Hi!
I am currently a student at NMMI, and I do encourage it. There are some flaws, especially about rat week, but after rat week, you realize what your capabilities are and also that the world does not revolve around you. You learn to build strong relationships with people in your troop because you have to live with them and see them everyday.
I am a girl at NMMI which makes things extra hard. This is because the rate it about 1/7 girls to boys. Not easy, but if I could do it, im sure your son could just as easy.
Be prepared for some running though! (:
I graduated from NMMI High School back in 1977. It was the experience of a lifetime and I would not trade it for anything. I encourage you and your son to make the most of your time there.
Walt
I graduated from NMMI High School in 1977. It was the experience of a lifetime and I would not trade it for anything. I encourage you and your son to make the most of your experiences there.
My son just turned 15 on the 10th of June and found out on the 23rd that he was accepted to NMMI. My father went there his Junior and Senior year of high school. My son looks up to his grandfather and is proud to follow in his footsteps. I have a lot of unanwered questions and would love to contact a few NMMI moms who have the time to email me. Let me know @ richardsontina@yahoo.com if you have time to answer questions.
Thanks Tina for your comment. I sent you an e-mail from my personal e-mail if I can help with a few of your questions.