Yesterday morning, I started nagging my husband about making a decision regarding our summer vacation. We were getting nowhere, so I finally said, “If it’s too expensive for all of us to go, why don’t you go alone,” and then something happened; my back froze. I had just placed my right foot through my gym pants when a shooting pain caused me to grab the wall, so I wouldn’t collapse.
Angry at myself, I forced my left foot into my gym pants and hobbled to the kitchen.
I turned on my coffeemaker, microwaved some milk and waited, fingers pressed hard against my lower back. There was no way my damn back would stop me from working out. The coffee finished perking and my spasms escalated to the point where I started barking orders at my poor husband. “Get me Advil. Carry my mug. I have to lay down.”
“You can’t workout,” Duke said as I turtled down the long hallway to our bedroom.
“In a few minutes, I’ll feel better,” I said.
I swallowed 3 Advil, and waited fifteen minutes, expecting to jump into my car and head to the gym to start three sets of squats, lunges and leg presses.
An hour went by, and I couldn’t get out of bed. It was impossible for me to sit. I felt claustrophobic, stuck in my room with no one to help and then I thought of others who suffer on a daily basis. I had visions of healthy men and women injured in a car accident or at war. Those with amputated limbs, now dependent on a wheel-chair and others’ help to get around.
I thought of Brenda, a blogger friend, who is undergoing chemotherapy, and all the unpleasant side-effects she has to suffer.
I thought of how marriages change when one person is ill for a long period of time. How do most spouses react? Are they tolerant for a while, then they no longer want to help?
All these thoughts came to mind, and while I was stuck in bed for half the day. I picked up my phone, and called an 85-year-old neighbor, just to see how she was doing. I felt selfish that it took me feeling sorry for myself, in order to find the time to call this kind old lady and check on her.
So to all of you who are suffering, my heart goes out to you. I admire your courage and shall stop taking health and mobility for granted.
Have you thought about how you would deal with a long term illness? How you would cope with not being able to do the things you used to do? What about your relationship?
Sorry you had to feel that but what great insights!
Have you had this back problem before?
Good for you, for listening to your inner voice. Good for you, for acting on it and calling that neighbor.
Hope you feel better soon!
Hope you are feeling better, Sonia. I have several friends who get back spasms and are totally flattened by them. Hope this is the last one for you.
Suffering does make us all more empathetic. That's a silver lining that always helps me persist in pain.
Is it feeling more obile now?
Oh no! How are you doing now? Pam
Are you okay, Sonia? Do you know what happened? 🙁
**hugs and healing vibes**
I have stopped taking EVERYTHING for granted…
health, life…
I hope that you are feeling better now. Remember to ice it! You can never go wrong with ice!
BG
I have similar thoughts once in a while – whenever I think things are bad, I think of how many people have worse problems than me. I hope your back feel better soon.
Very true! I hope you start feeling better soon, that sucks.
So sorry to hear you were in pain! Yes, I have thought of these things before, and it pains me every time. I think it would be the most difficult for me to have a handicapped or injured child and to see them suffer on a daily basis. My heart hurts just thinking about it. I hope your back feels better. I've had back problems before. It is NO fun. 🙁
Hope you're feeling better, and soon!
Chronic illness puts a lot of strain on a marriage. It tests your level of commitment to one another.
Despite my long history of health problems, my wife and I are still together. It will be 40 years in August.
I hope your back is feeling better. I was rear ended in April and my lower back hasn't been the same since.
I keep telling my kids that they should treat me really good because someday they will be taking care of me and I will treat them the same. Haha
I'm hoping that I will have my three loving children and someday a great soulmate to help me out.
*Have you thought about how you would deal with a long term illness?*
YES! Just had a breast cancer operation on Wednesday. But I'm already feeling fine. (You can read my story on my blog.)
Positive attitude, not to worry about things you can't do anything, helps.
We are vulnerable – physically and mentally.
*How you would cope with not being able to do the things you used to do?*
So far okay…trying to train my left hand back to normal movements, not so easy but a must, otherwise I'll have pain on the other side rest of my life (from typing for a long time etc.)
I'm a little bit restless already not able to do normal daily things but I do understand to take it easier…
*What about your relationship?*
My husband is in Cairo, working. But because I'm fine, not depressed or sad, he's okay. We're both okay! 🙂 He's flying to take me home for couple of weeks before my 5 weeks radiation therapy starts Jul/Aug here in Helsinki…
My husband had the similar back problem as you couple of months ago. Since that he's been doing pt every morning and in the evenings he sits on the gym ball just to relax his back…The ball is a must in everybody's living room!!! 🙂
Hope you're feeling better already!?
Hope your back is feeling better! My husband was once forced to lie on the floor for several days and pee into a bottle because of back problems…
I admire all those who cope with illness and suffering with grace. My MIL was a shining example when she had cancer for the past two years.
My husband had a bad accident that meant he couldn't walk and those first few months were tough – on him, and on me, the carer…
Hope your back is better.
Oh my goodness – how are you, now?
Whenever I get laid up for any reason (thankfully it's rare) I always wonder about those who are affected by immobility every day.
Quite frankly, it scares me.
(Hope you feel better soon.)
We are all so different and our coping mechanisms are probably as varied as we are. I cope by keeping as much of a routine as I can and by doing as much as I am able. By participating in as much life around me as possible, even when its hard. And by staying active.
But a bad bad is tricky, I hope you are feeling better soon!
Thanks to all of you who sent me kind wishes. I am feeling better and hope you're well too.
@Jungle Mom
Yes, I have had this problem before, and it scares me if it gets to be every 3 months.
@Shirley
Hope you haven't had that yourself.
@Louise and Pam,
Moving more each day.
@CairoTyp0
Really don't know what triggered it. perhaps nagging at my husband?
@BGirl
I put a heat pad that a friend gave me. It glues on your back for up to 8 hours.
@Christina
Sad that we have to think that way to feel better. perhaps it's just our human way.
@Lady Glamis
Yes, it would be terrible to see a kid unable to run and do what other do.
@Rob-bear
I know you've been suffering for many years. I think your wife is amazing. I know it's tough to put up with someone like me, when I'm grumpy.
@My 3 sons
I hope your back problems go away from the accident. I know you have nice kids and spend special time with them. So they will when you need them.
@BLOGitse
I'm amazed you wrote to me so soon after surgery. Must be tough for you to take care of yourself with your husband in Cairo. Do you have family to help in Helsinki? Shall come and read your posts.
@LadyFi
That must have been a shock for both of you after the accident. I hope he's recovered completely.
@Kit,
I think you said it right. It's scary!
@Brenda
I am amazed how much you go out and do things. You shall heal fast.
Sonia, I've been fine! Before the surgery I did shopping with my elder son and that's it. I do everything I need by myself. Haven't been for a long walk yet, maybe next week with a friend…
I do pt several times a day, streching, gently of course…
I eat mild pain killers so no problems at all…
It's so easy to magnify our own problems and forget about those who are in worse situations. I try to keep perspective by appreciating all my good fortune in life, but there's nothing like a health problem to make you sit up and take notice of how tenuous life can be and how quickly things can chance. Hope you are feeling better.
Sonia, my younger son has family of his own in Beijing! 🙂 Most of the time I'm alone and fine…I'll post some pics tomorrow on my main blog…
Amazing, isn't it? I think about that stuff whenever I have a little health thing (that seems big to me) bugging me.
I know what I'd *want* to be like if I'm ever faced with an acute health challenge, but I'm not sure if I'll ever have that kind of grace.
How are you feeling on Sunday night? Lots better, I hope.
@Susan
I am getting better and can go to the gym today. Sorry I missed DimeStories in Laguna Beach yesterday. Would have loved to hear you read.
@BLOGitse
I shall be over to see the photos of your son.
@Jennifer
Yes, I also wonder if you change your outlook about life, when some disease or accident forces you to change your lifestyle.
@Rob_bear
Now I can get in and out of bed and armchairs more easily.
I'm a bit late reading this, I was busy over the week-end and didn't blog. I hope by now you are feeling much better.
Your blog link is on my today's post… 🙂 it's about tattoos…
Is it sciatica? I ask because I have had two back surgeries and am trying to avoid another. I feel your pain so to speak.
I have learned that the quickest way to recovery is anti- inflammatory meds and rest. Not fun, but, as you point out here, it could be worse!
Please get better soon!
I'm reading this a little later, so I was able to read your responses to some of the others who posted. I'm glad your back is feeling better! Figure out what caused it? I do admire that after your mind went racing through all the scenarios you described, it came back to some solid thinking, and you called someone else to check on them. From someone in my line of work, I consider that as emanating from some deep spiritual health. Good job.
I watch this several times every week with my Mom. She had a frostbite accident in 2005 which necessitated amputating her fingers. I do her shopping, but I have to open everything for her and reclose it lightly – pop, spreadable butter lids, cookie packages, crackers, juice, chip dip, chips – you name it. Everything opened and reclosed.
She still has beautiful handwriting – far better than mine. She manages, but she is so unhappy. I have mostly learned from her how not to be, but I admire her courage in managing to go forward every day even if that just means eating, watching TV and feeding her cat.