Sonia Marsh Archives - Sonia Marsh

Why I Quit Dating Apps at 68—And My 35-Year-Old Son Has the Same Problem

April 30, 2026 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

I quit dating apps—and oddly enough, my 35-year-old son and I are in the exact same boat. He has women lining up, I’m attracting men 10–17 years older who need a caregiver, and yet… neither of us is finding what we actually want. So what’s going on here?

Why I’ve Stepped Away from Dating Apps

I have quit dating apps for a while for two reasons: one, no luck, and two, people keep telling me that you meet someone when you least expect it.

The Surprising Truth: My Son and I Have the Same Dating Problems

What I find so interesting about online dating is that my 35-year-old son is having the same issues as me.

We’ve actually become quite close as mother and son, sharing dating stories. The main difference? He has no problem getting dates, while I’m only getting a few dates with older men who have health issues.

The Dating Imbalance: Age, Attraction, and Expectations

My son is a doctor who makes a good living and is 6’4” tall, so women flock to him. Listening to dating podcasts, he fits into that tiny fraction of men who are young, tall, and financially successful.

I, on the other hand, fall into the category of mature women who can only seem to find men 10–20 years older than me—men who often need a woman to take care of them.

This feels unfair, especially since I’m thin, active, intelligent, and fully capable of taking care of myself.

The Real Issue: Avoidant Attachment Style

So what’s the problem for both my son and me? Are we both too picky? Isn’t chemistry important?

During our phone conversations, we’ve realized that we are both “avoidants.” This comes from attachment theory (I’ve included a quick YouTube link if you want to explore it further).

Basically, we are not the clingy type. We’re independent and tend to have our guard up—at least I know I do. We don’t easily show physical affection unless there’s real chemistry.

In other words, we’re picky. And maybe a bit naïve in believing there’s someone out there who meets at least 95% of our criteria. Listening to podcasts on relationships and dating, I’ve come to the conclusion that we look at photos of men, (in my case) and women, (in my son’s case) as products. It’s become online shopping for a partner, just like shopping on Amazon, but without the reviews.

Chemistry vs. Companionship

Intellectually, I understand that perfection doesn’t exist—and I’m certainly not perfect either.

But at this stage of my life, I’m not willing to be with a man I’m not attracted to despite what relationship coaches tell us. “You can grow to fall in love with someone’s personality.” Well, I’m sorry, I need to be attracted to the man physically as well.

I work hard to stay fit, healthy and to keep learning. I travel, build friendships, host gatherings, and genuinely love who I am.

I’m tired of hearing, “You can develop chemistry with someone who’s kind or has a sense of humor.” I call that a friend.

And in my online dating experience, I’ve yet to meet a man—even at 80—who wants to be “just friends.” You know what I mean.

I also have no interest in becoming someone’s caregiver at the beginning of a relationship. It’s different if you’ve been married to this person all your life.

Should I Date Younger Men?

Friends tell me I should date a younger man.

And I would—if I knew he genuinely liked me for who I am. Maybe it’s my avoidant attachment style that makes me feel there is always an ulterior motive on their part. A lack of trust on my part.

What I’m Doing Instead: Real-Life Connections

So these days, I’m focusing on real-life interactions.

I’m joining discussion groups and attending art museum events in Laguna Beach. I love meeting intelligent people—men and women—who have traveled, who are curious, and who refuse to become stale in their thinking.

What I’m Hoping For

What I would truly love is a natural introduction—to meet a single man through someone I trust.

Someone who shares my love of travel, snorkeling, swimming, and staying active. Someone who wants a companion, an equal—not a caretaker.

If you can introduce me to that man, please email me at sonia@soniamarsh.com!

And As for My Son…

As for my son, I’m sure he’ll have no trouble finding someone he can love and marry…

As long as he’s not holding out for 100% perfection.

How to Keep Your Mind Off the Coronavirus

March 22, 2020 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

Join An Online Class

During these days of coronavirus where we’re all stuck at home, why not brainstorm ideas to either learn something new or think of a passion that might serve others. Here is a new book and course that might be right for us now.

When I started my blog GutsyLiving.com, I tried to learn as much as I could about how to promote your book as an Indie Author. It then morphed into sharing my life in the Peace Corps in Lesotho. During that time, in 2010-2017, I met Chris Guillebeau in LA (when he launched his first book) The Art of Non-Conformity and admired his creativity, and the way he connected with people around the world. I attended 3 of his conferences in Portland, OR, where I met inspirational speakers, some of whom are now famous, like Gretchen Rubin, “The Happiness Project.” I just signed up for his latest book, The Money Tree and his online Master Class, which is free, if you pre-order his book. I’m sharing this with all of you who love to learn and get fresh ideas.

Chris Guillebeau and me at Book Soup Bookstore in LA in 2010 when Chris launched his first book, *The Art of Non-Conformity*

The class is for you if:

You’re worried (aren’t we all!)
Remote work feels unfamiliar and a little strange
You understand that uncertainty can also create opportunities

It’s that last part that I want to talk about the most. Let’s be clear: I’m not saying there’s anything good about a virus that makes a lot of people sick and threatens our economy. If I could magically make it go away, I would.

I just mean that you should only worry about what’s within your control to change. So yes, wash your hands—and also think about your future. What do you really want? Are you prepared for a new way of life? If you lost everything today, what would you do?

Let’s talk about it! In this all-new, three-hour master class, I’ll be teaching on these topics.

Module 1 – Finding opportunities in the midst of chaos
Module 2 – Building extra income even when you already have a job
Module 3 – Adjusting to or learning to thrive in working remotely
Module 4 – Open Q&A (ask anything, I’ll stay as long as there are questions)

I promise that you’ll go away with new ideas and a practical action plan to improve your life and profit in a time of uncertainty.Attend the Masterclass

To Sign Up, Get My New Book THE MONEY TREE

How much does it cost? The masterclass isn’t for sale, at least not yet! And this isn’t something where you get some material in the class along with a pitch to buy something else. You’ll learn everything you need to know, and there is literally nothing for sale.

I expect to sell this course later for several hundred dollars, but the only way to get it for now is by pre-ordering my new book, THE MONEY TREE.

That’s it—buy at least one copy of the book, in any format, upload the receipt, and you’re in. You’ll get an email with a schedule for the workshop. If you can’t make it live, it will be recorded so you can watch it later.

I’d love to see you in the masterclass. Let’s find a new way to see the world!

To your future,

Chris Guillebeau

P.S. I want to reach as many people as possible with this message. The book is very affordable ($26 or less!), but if you really can’t afford it, let me know and I’ll help you out.

Pre-order & Submit Your Receipt to Attend the Masterclass

To register for the Financial Security in Uncertain Times masterclass, simply purchase at least one copy of THE MONEY TREE, and submit your receipt below.

Amazon Barnes & Noble Audible Apple Books Indie Bookstores

What are you doing to keep your mind busy while stuck at home?

Sonia wishes you a Gutsy Holiday Season

December 22, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

It’s getting close to the end of the year; a time to reflect on what’s important in life, how we can help others, our goals, what we are grateful for and so much more.

Thanks to the Internet, and social media, I’ve met so many wonderful people, and read so many inspiring, funny, sad, informative and motivational stories.

One thing I’ve learned is that we all have our own unique “My Gutsy Story” and I am grateful to Jill Fales, the winner of our first “My Gutsy Story” contest, for her comment.

“I really appreciate everything you do for women and men who want to take a risk. I feel that there may be people out there on the fence and through this contest, they may be convinced to go to the other side!”

I think Jill brought up something even bigger than what I had hoped for with the “My Gutsy Story” series. By reading other stories and sharing our own, we truly help one another realize we have options in life. We are all connected and through our stories and those of famous inspirational people, like Jane Goodall, I find myself more and more attracted to global issues.

I have always wanted to be like Jane Goodall. Perhaps living in Nigeria as a child, has given me the desire to return to certain parts of Africa, or maybe it’s the fact that my children are growing up that has sparked a need to help others less fortunate than me.

As Jane Goodall says:

“If you really want something, work hard, take risks, grab opportunities, and never give up … then there is definitely a way to success.”

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a wonderful holiday season with family and friends and look forward to reading and sharing your, “My Gutsy Story.”