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You are here: Home / Archives for My Gutsy Story

Time to Bring Family Secrets and Stories to Light

July 28, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 8 Comments

Rita Gardner

Perilous Footing on the Path Home 

 “My Gutsy Story®” by Rita Gardner

 

The old ferry boat was ready to board. It lurched on frayed ropes each time a wave shoved the dilapidated vessel close enough for another passenger to be hauled aboard. I asked myself for the hundredth time if I was just plain crazy. An old woman covered in a black shawl crossed herself as she was handed across, and the boatman caught her just before she could slip. From the dock, men threw battered luggage, one live pig, and household belongings onto the deck. Piercing sunlight bounced on wave tops and sweat dripped from my armpits.

I’d just arrived at the harbor near my childhood home in the Dominican Republic. Having spent two weeks visiting the village I’d not seen for years, I was now on a mission to find a writer I’d never met on the far shore of the Samana peninsula. My vague instructions were to get to the village of Samana and find a ride eastward 12 kilometers, and then to ask anyone to lead me to “Don Alejandro.” I’d not crossed this bay for over thirty-five years. The dock was wet with gaps that made any foothold challenging. Heart pounding, I hoisted my backpack and prayed for safety.

Edge of Samana Bay
Edge of Samana Bay

Only two months before I was sitting in a dentist’s waiting room in California thumbing through Travel Holiday, escaping into worlds far away. I encountered an article by Alastair Reid that propelled me into this journey. The story was about the very same bay I was now crossing. Titled “My Several Selves,” it was about being at home wherever you are. On staff at The New Yorker, Reid lives in New York but for many years he wintered in a simple dwelling on Samana hillside, writing and translating works by Pablo Neruda, Jorge Luis Borges, and other noted authors.

I went home that day and wrote a letter to him about how I hoped to meet him when I next traveled to the island. His handwritten reply arrived the next month saying he’d be delighted to see me. He had no telephone on the island, but reassured me he’d likely be there all winter.

And so I traveled that December to my childhood home, site of my expat family’s coconut farm on an isolated beach, and a country we’d left decades ago.I was welcomed home with typical Dominican exuberance. One day I walked the path to my family’s former house, still owned by the same man who bought it ages ago. Now used infrequently as a backcountry retreat, it was all locked up, shrunken and lonely.

The next day I decided to journey across the bay and try to find Alastair Reid in his winter lair. So here I was, hanging on to a broken rail as the ferry plunged drunkenly along. When the boat landed on the far shore I found transport on the back of a motor scooter. The driver didn’t know Reid (known locally as Don Alejandro), but for 50 centavos he drove me anyway. After a while we stopped a farmer at the side of the road and asked if he knew Don Alejandro. “Ah, si.” he nodded, “it’s very near.” He pointed to a clearing to a simple one-room structure, open on one side. I waved away the scooter uncertainly and hiked through the woods as if I knew what I was doing.

Barefoot and dressed in faded khaki shorts, Alastair Reid greeted me as if he’d known I’d pick that day and time to show up in his clearing. We talked for hours, about writing, about the lure of this island despite its troubled political history. When it was time to leave, he presented me with a book and walked me up to the road until a crowded pickup came by. I crammed myself into the back, avoiding a squirming pig, trussed and unhappily serving as someone’s seat. In Samana, I found a small inn and settled in to read. The tattered volume, written by an American in 1958,was titled Trujillo, Little Caesar of the Caribbean. It was published when I was 12 and living in Miches. An account of Generalisimo Trujillo and his reign of terror, it never would have been allowed in the Dominican Republic during Trujillo’s rule. I felt I was reading forbidden material. For all our years on the island, our lives depended on not ever speaking ill of the dictator. This book was an entry into what I wasn’t allowed to think about for all those years.

I read until my eyes hurt, trying to reconcile the factual portrayal of one country’s nightmare with my parents’ decision to raise a family under such a government. At midnight, needing a break, I walked down to the harbor. A light breeze tickled the coconut palms into slow dancing silhouettes. Across the bay to the southeast a faint light glowed—Miches. I pulled the night around me like a warm shawl and hugged myself at the memory of countless evenings like this when I was a child. The next morning I caught the ferry.

Beach near Miches, Samana Bay
Beach near Miches, Samana Bay

On my last day in Miches, I was drawn back to my old house for a final look. A crowd of emotions welled up and I cried for longer than I can remember. I understood only dimly that this trip was just the first step on a longer journey to reconcile my own disparate selves. And now I was to begin a new journey, much more dangerous than crossing a bay in storm-tossed waters. It was now time to bring family secrets and stories to light, and just maybe, find some peace about the meaning of home.

 

Fast forward to 2014: I’m thrilled to have completed my memoir, titled “The Coconut Latitudes: Secrets, Storms and Survival in the Caribbean.” Publish date: September 2014 by She Writes Press, Berkeley, CA.

Bio:

Rita M. Gardner grew up on her expatriate family’s coconut farm in the Dominican Republic. Home-schooled as a child, she began writing, reading and painting at an early age. She now lives in California where she follows her passions – writing, traveling, hiking, and photography. Her published essays, articles, poems, and photographs have appeared in literary journals and travel magazines. Her memoir “The Coconut Latitudes” debuts September 2014 . Rita continues to dream in Spanish and dance the Dominican merengue; her favorite color is Caribbean blue. www.ritamgardner.com

Amazon link : http://amzn.to/1jJ5qg6

Click on cover to purchase on Amazon
Click on cover to purchase on Amazon

 

 

Twitter link: Please follow @ritamgardner

Facebook link: Please (like) Rita M Gardner https://www.facebook.com/ritamgardner

SONIA MARSH SAYS: I had the pleasure of reading Rita’s memoir and was intrigued by her island life and how she captured the vivid details of her childhood in a remote part of the Dominican Republic.

VOTE FOR YOUR  FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®” STARTS ON JULY 31st AND ENDS ON AUGUST 13th.

THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON AUGUST 14th.


NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

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A Life Changing Moment–Java Davis

July 21, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 2 Comments

20140714_075716

Gas Station

 “My Gutsy Story®” by Java Davis

I spent the summer before senior year of college working as a gas station attendant in Lodi, NJ.  I was 21.  When I think of that summer, I can only recall hot, sunny days, and bright, well-tended flowers in the beds around the station.  In the beginning of the summer, I couldn’t lift the hood of a Cadillac, they were so heavy.  By the end of the summer, I could pop any hood, reveling in my hard won muscle tone.

There were lots of chores, many more than pumping gas and checking oil.  I learned to stock supplies, rake the garden mulch, and paint the yellow trim around the pump islands.  I’d never seen a urinal before until I cleaned those bathrooms.  Every day, I’d arrive and put on my clean, crisp uniform.  At the end of the day, I’d drop it in the station’s laundry hamper, the thighs stained with the dirt from leaning over car engines, and smelling of gasoline fumes.

My coworkers are still clear to me.  There was the station manager, a cheerful, round little man reminiscent of Lou Costello.  There was the young man just starting out, this being his first job.  He focus was on one of the regular customers, a woman known as “the slut.”  He lived to see her decrepit car chugging into the station.  Another coworker was a retarded young man – in those days, retarded wasn’t a curse word.  He knew what he was, and he knew that the gas station job was as far as he would progress.

The last coworker was 19 years old, two years younger than I was.  We made the same money.  I saw the money as summer savings, to be spent during my senior year in college.  My young friend was earning a living, supporting a wife and baby.  He would often tell me how wonderful it was to go home to a loving wife and adorable baby.  I don’t like children and would frequently make retching noises.  I never asked if the baby was a boy or girl.  Baby and burden were the same words to me.

My adult life hadn’t even started yet.  I needed to finish college and settle on a career.  I wasn’t nearly ready to be anchored down.  He would tease me about it, asking me the same question every week: “So when are you getting married?”  And I would always give the same answer:  “I don’t have to.  You’ve already done it for me.”  Very soon, I understood that he was looking for me to validate his life.  I couldn’t ever do that.  I believed that his life was already derailed.

“So when are you getting married?”

“I don’t have to.  You’ve already done it for me.”

He seemed resigned to his fate, cheerfully trying to make it sound like true domestic bliss.  I thought he was crazy.

The summer was coming to an end.  Very soon, I would leave the gas station job and go back to school full-time.  I had just moved into an adorable little apartment.  I couldn’t wait to start the new term and to finally finish my college years.

Two weeks before the end, my boss called me over for a quiet conversation.  My young friend had blown his brains out.  The really sad part was that he botched the job and would be a vegetable for years to come.

I felt like I’d pulled the trigger myself.  When you’re young, everything revolves around you.  If only I’d been more supportive.  Ultimately and objectively, I feel pity and compassion for that poor baby, child, young adult, whose accident of conception drove Dad to such despair.

JAVA DAVIS BIO: I’m retired/disabled. I travel as I please and carve out my own hours for writing. My Jewish roots tend to creep a little into most of my work. Road trips, too. I love road trips and classic cars. I studied English and Linguistics in college. In graduate school, I studied typography and type design. The printing, advertising, and public relations fields had me hogtied for about 15 years. Which authors have inspired me? Ernest Hemingway for his terseness, Marge Piercy for her ability to get into people’s heads, and Robert Pirsig for showing me the value of a journey.

 

SONIA MARSH SAYS: What a terrible tragedy and this must have been a life-changing moment for you.

Join Java on Twitter: @javadavis

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/java.davis

Pinterest: http://bit.ly/Uncmm9

Webspot: http://www.theroadtripwriter.com

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4970385.Java_Davis

CreateSpace: http://bit.ly/1lFJqys

Email: javadavis@live.com

Depression Carpenter

Amazon U.S.: http://amzn.to/NbjFGr.   Amazon U.K.: http://amzn.to/NymdO6

Triptych

Amazon U.S.: http://amzn.to/MwXf5J.  Amazon U.K.: http://amzn.to/MBwK9V

Cowgirl

JavaCowgirl

Amazon U.S.: http://amzn.to/MhIOh4.  Amazon U.K.: http://amzn.to/MiZX7K

 

 

 

 

Commune

JavaCommune

Amazon U.S.: http://amzn.to/1f8CJ4M.  Amazon U.K.: http://amzn.to/1oXeCwj

 

 

 

 

On Becoming a Dinosaur

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July 28th, “My Gutsy Story®” by RITA GARDNER 

VOTING FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®” STARTS ON JULY 31st AND ENDS ON AUGUST 13th.

THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON AUGUST 14th.


NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

“I Became the Man I Always Wanted to Marry” — Inge Bird

July 14, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

Me full length

“I Became the Man I Always Wanted to Marry”

“My Gutsy Story®” by Inge Bird

A while ago a friend told me that my childhood experiences probably gave me the tooIs to deal with cancer. I have been giving her comment a lot of thought lately. Looking back, I can say my life journey (so far) as been one hell of a ride. I have no regrets. There have been points in my life where I seemed to always be swimming against the tide though.

My mother was an addict. Her drug of choice was codeine. Back in the 60s doctors (or maybe it was just our family doctor) wrote prescriptions anytime a patient asked for them. My mom ate codeine pills like they were candy and washed them down with good old-fashioned whisky. When I turned ten, she wanted me to join “the party.” I never liked the taste of alcohol so I pretended to go along, to keep from getting a beating. My dad worked a lot. He was pretty much an absent parent. I don’t blame him, when he was home he was the brunt of my mother’s anger.

Two months shy of my eighteenth birthday, I had a chance to get away from my abusive home-life and hit the road in a compact car, with two boys and set out for North Carolina. At night I slept in a sleeping bag outside closed businesses and looking back, I probably looked like a bonafide Hippie. I had no life skills and was pretty naïve, but I learned to be street smart pretty quickly. For the next few years I dated abusive men, before settling down and marrying a drunk. I believed I could change him. Don’t we all?

We had a son and that’s when I changed. I would not allow my child to grow up in the same environment I did. The cycle ended with me. I became independent. I left my husband. A few years later my dad had a serious heart attack and me and my son moved back to California.

I was working at a women’s clothing store, when one day I saw an ad in the local newspaper for a delivery person. It was the early 80s and women didn’t take delivery jobs, especially delivering “auto parts.” I got the job because I was the only person who brought a resume to the interview, I had zero experience delivering stuff and knew less about cars.

My manager at the clothing store thought I was crazy to take such a “menial” job and insisted it was not lady-like. She gave me all kinds of grief over my decision, but I was about to double my pay, get health insurance for me and my son and become a Teamster.

I would be delivering auto parts to local repair shops for a dealership. Learning my job was easy. Working with the male employees was another story. Some resented that I was doing a job that “rightfully” belonged to a man who needed to support his family. “

“What’s wrong with you?” they would ask. “Couldn’t you find a man to take care of you?”

Sexual harassment on the job was a common occurrence in the 80s and working in a male-dominated auto industry was no exception. The company’s break room walls were lined with centerfold pictures from Penthouse and Playboy. If I wanted to buy a drink from the soda machine, I had to push the “tits,” ass,” or “bush” buttons. One day I brought in a centerfold picture of a naked male and taped it to the break room wall. All hell broke loose! The guys were “creeped out.” and it was immediately removed. When I complained about the double standard, I became the company “bitch.” The men’s pictures of naked women stayed.

Mind you, my mother had called me lots more creative names than the men so I learned to tune those guys out. I was also gone most of the day, delivering auto parts. I rarely got help loading my small Toyota truck, except with the heavy auto engines. If I was going to do a man’s job, then I would have to do it alone.

I think working in that type of environment made me stronger,not just physically, but emotionally. It taught me to never give up.

Then I remarried. My dad died soon after and I found myself in “crisis.” Not giving in I went to group counseling and read self-help books. Not giving up I started college, wanting to learn more about the world. Soon everything I thought I believed in was challenged and I became what Rush Limbaugh likes to call a “Femi-nazi.” My new husband was overwhelmed by the “new me” and decided it was better if we parted ways.

Still I continued my education and new-found activism, like organizing and participating in marches against the war. I fought to save the planet, the whales and whatever else needed saving. I became the man I always wanted to marry (just kidding). I was happy with my independence. I would never be a victim again.

Then cancer smacked me in the butt. I had a new husband. My son was now grown. They became my support system. I owe them a great deal for helping me. I don’t know if I would have had the same successful outcome without them, but I do know I was not going down without a fight.

So my friend is probably right. Not only did my childhood prepare me for the fight against cancer but all of my life experiences laid down the groundwork for that battle.

I am not alone. I have met plenty of others who have had a “rocky” period in their lives, and it is those persons who seem to do the best. Not all of them survive, but they never give up trying. They keep showing up.

Wasn’t it Woody Allen who said, “The key to success is to keep showing up?”

INGE BIRD: I am a stage 4 rectal cancer survivor (cancer free since June 2011), speaker, healthy food advocate/activist, vegan, practicing Buddhist, ostomate,  and well-being coach. I volunteer at UCI Medical Center Infusion Center, where my main goal is to offer hope to patients getting cancer treatments. My story is also featured on the American Cancer Society’s Website “Stories of Hope.” Website: www.rectalcancermyass.wordpress.com

Join Inge on Facebook:

Join Inge on Twitter: @IngeScott

SONIA MARSH SAYS: You are one “gutsy” woman Inge, and I love your style, and proactive approach to life. The statement you made says it all:

“ I became the man I always wanted to marry.”

You are amazing, and I admire what you have done with your life.

July 21st, “My Gutsy Story®” by JAVA DAVIS

July 28th, “My Gutsy Story®” by RITA GARDNER 


 

NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

“Finding Heaven” My Gutsy Story® – Patrice Garrett

July 7, 2014 by Sonia Marsh 2 Comments

Patrice Garrett

Finding Heaven

“My Gutsy Story®” Patrice Garrett

 

Many moons ago, when my world was young, my husband, and I packed into our old van, and headed south to Mexico for rest and relaxation.

On our travels we befriended an American hitchhiker, a likeable fellow in his late teens, who’d had his money and gear stolen. Peter spent three weeks with us, roaming dirt roads and Mayan ruins south of Cuernavaca.

He told us little about his life in the States except to say, his folks had mandated a change of scene, and shipped him West to live with his cousin, Ben.

When he finally decided to head for home, we drove him up to Mexico City and staked him to a bus ticket and pocket money. As we hugged goodbye we accepted his proffered invitation to visit him on our way back to California, and “stay as long as you like.”

“Take Black Canyon exit off the freeway. Go about ten miles. You’ll see the place off to your right. There’s no street address, but you can’t miss it,” he said, and scooted into the waiting Tres Estrellas bus.

We tooled around Mexico for two more weeks, making our way north through marketplaces and fiestas. When our trip ended, we pointed the van toward the Arizona border crossing and decided to find our mysterious friend, Peter, and say hello.

His simple instructions were easy to follow. We took the proper freeway exit, shocked, when in less than half a mile, all asphalt vanished. Wondering what we were getting into, we drove on. Surrounded by an endless, cactus studded desert, and imposing flat-topped mesas, we bumped along a dirt road in the afternoon heat, at speeds below five miles an hour. I grew anxious, picturing crazed, back-country cult communities … then suddenly, to the right and slightly below us, a vast swath of lush green appeared. There it was!

Several houses, palm trees, flowerbeds, and barns were visible as the dusty road wound down into a shallow valley. I could hardly believe my eyes when white-fenced pastures dotted with grazing horses came into view. Excitement shot through me. Worries about safety evaporated. Horses. My childhood fantasy! My wannabe inner cowgirl danced a jig.

We pulled into a dream world, where “Cookie” provided meals in the main house. All of us, Peter, his older cousin Ben, the ranch manager, horse trainers, my husband and I, gathered around a big, wooden mess table and ate beautifully prepared food. Our seating shared floor space with a priceless four hundred year-old, blue and white, porcelain Dutch oven. My husband spent afternoons in the swimming pool—a glittering jewel, set in a sea of sand.

In the evenings we tumbled into our guesthouse digs, complete with French antique furnishings, a huge comfortable bed, and centuries old Chinese embroideries, artfully hung. Stone by stone, a floor-to-ceiling fireplace climbed one full wall. There was a tiny kitchen. The bathroom offered shampoo and toothpaste, and engraved matchbooks.

My first thought was, Peter lived at some sort of fancy western dude resort. I was soon set straight. It seems that our hitchhiker was the son of an American banking family. I was in horse heaven on Ben Rockefeller’s tax loss ranch.

The first few days, I jumped out of bed early, pulled on my cowboy boots, and wandered the property. One particular animal caught my attention. She lived alone in a big pasture. A dark bay, with flecks of gold in her coat-she was a beauty. Her name was Teya, an Arabian mare, ranch hands told me, shaking their heads, warning me off.

I spoke to Peter about her, over a breakfast feast he explained she wasn’t a good horse to ride. She was hard to catch, unsociable, mistrustful, and quite uncooperative under saddle, dangerous.

Naturally, after hearing that, all I wanted to do was win her over. So, every sunup I trotted out to her paddock with an apple in hand. I stood for long times near the fence, sometimes quietly, sometimes chattering in soft tones, inviting her into my space, holding apple halves out in my palms. Finally, one day, she ever-so-slowly picked her way towards me and daintily gathered up her treat. ‘I’m gonna ride that wild horse,” I announced at dinner. Peter choked on his beef stew. My husband drained his wine glass.

Each morning, she came more quickly than she had the day before to collect her apple chunks. In less than a week, Teya let me rub her muzzle, fling my arms around her neck, and press my face into her long, thick mane. That little mare stole my heart. I never had to catch her. She willingly slipped into her bridle for me, she was all mine, and I treasured her.

My biggest delight was taking her on trail rides. We explored dry desert washes and wended our way up onto ancient mesas. Teya loved to run, hated to stop, and on narrow tracks tried to push her nose into the rear end of any horse that dared step in front of her. She had no respect for the bit. It was a challenging riding experience that came with a gift, the realization of my lifelong desire—she made a cowgirl of me. When our splendid visit came to an end, leaving Teya and Peter’s ranch was especially hard. Wrenching.

Though Teya’s gone to her reward, I always smile when I remember riding horseback on an Arab mare, some forty years ago, wearing leather gloves to protect my hands from rope-rein blisters. It changed me. I found my courage and self-confidence on her back. Because of Teya I bought my first horse. I learned that horses mirror the fears, thoughts and resolve of their riders; they decipher nuance and interpret body language. Mine have taught me patience, honesty, leadership, and conscious riding. My acquired saddle skills also inform how I walk life’s road. I’ve learned there’s no faking it. I live with intention.

PATRICE GARRETT embraces the American West and has a penchant for the cowboy way of life. Her published writing includes press releases, articles, and short fiction. She has a first novel in rewrite, a website where you can enjoy her stories and blog. Her work has appeared in the Nob Hill Gazette, Marin Independent Journal, FYI San Francisco, The Horse Journal, Family News, Up Beat Times, Petaluma Post, Tiny Lights, Call of The Wild, and other publications. In 2014, her stories are appearing in two new anthologies. She is a member of Redwood Writers. Contact Patrice thru her website: www.wordwranglingwoman.com

SONIA MARSH SAYS:  I have always had a fear of horses, mainly because I am not used to being around them. Your “My Gutsy Story®,” showed me that:

“Horses mirror the fears, thoughts and resolve of their riders; they decipher nuance and interpret body language. Mine have taught me patience, honesty, leadership, and conscious riding. My acquired saddle skills also inform how I walk life’s road. I’ve learned there’s no faking it. I live with intention.”

 

NOW Accepting story submissions now for our Award-winning “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology

READ MORE HERE

MGS FINAL COVER Small

 We just won our 4th Award for the Anthology. 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT ABOUT OUR AWARDS.

IMG_20140702_070759918

 

 


 

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CLICK HERE for Gutsy Book Coaching

Winner of the May 2014 “My Gutsy Story®” Contest

June 12, 2014 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

Laura McHale Holland
Laura McHale Holland

This May we had FOUR OUTSTANDING  “My Gutsy Story®” authors. Their stories will be included in our 2nd “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology, published in the Fall of 2014.  Thank you to all four authors. Your stories are all WINNERS.

Our first place goes to Laura McHale Holland  who won 1st Place for her “My Gutsy Story®” about how she started a new adventure and a new life.

Laura McHale Holland face

2nd Place goes to Jennifer Barclay, who shares what she did to make her life happy.

Jennifer Barclay
Jennifer Barclay

 

4 (1)

 

3rd Place goes to Robin Korth who shares her story about her journey towards self-honesty.

Robin Korth
Robin Korth

Robin Korth

 

 

4th Place goes to Nancy Sharp with her inspiring story called, “The GIft of Bold Living.”

0855 _Nancy_Sharp_13March2012

  Thank you to all four authors. Your stories are all WINNERS.

 

MGS FINAL COVER Small
Click on cover to go to Amazon

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 3rd anthology?

NEW GUIDELINES  contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

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