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Life's too short to play it safe

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I can only be me.

October 20, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

” Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that has the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.” Dale Carnegie

It’s Wednesday night and I’m cooking dinner wondering, “What the hell am I going to post tomorrow?” (I apologize, I do swear once in a while.)

Does this happen to you or are you so organized that all your posts are prepared weeks or months ahead of time?

Please don’t answer if you’re one of those because you’ll only make me feel like a loser. OK, I admit, I’ll feel happy for you and perhaps a smidgen of envy will creep in wishing that I could be more like you.

So while I stir the mushrooms, let me take a moment to think about what to write next.

I have a confession to make. I’m still working on the rewrite of my travel memoir. I know, I know, why is it taking me so long to finish my travel memoir?

Do you want to know the real reason?

Here it is. “I finally listened to agents, editors, a memoir teacher I had three years ago, and someone important: my husband.”

“Start with the action in Belize,”

“Sonia, too much fluff in the beginning, get to Belize faster.”

It has taken several years for me to hear them, and as I mentioned in the truth about writing a book, publishers are looking for unique stories.

Unless you’re a celebrity, it’s highly unlikely that an editor will be interested in publishing your manuscript if it relates to any of the following problems:

  • raising a difficult teenager
  • an alcohol problem
  • an autistic child
  • you’re a cancer survivor
  • you suffered abuse as a child
  • you left your abusive husband

At least that’s what I’ve heard over and over again. I’m sorry, it sucks, but that’s a fact today and I realize it. That’s why I’m trying very hard to become a celebrity. (Please don’t laugh.)

OK, so here’s something else I want to talk about. I’m very confused about the way I was taught to write in Europe, and the American way. I used to say, “I learnt this,” and it’s taken me almost twenty years to realize that in the U.S. it’s, “ I learned this.”

I also have comma problems. I truly believe the British use more commas than the Americans. At this point I’m so confused, I add a comma just to be on the safe side.

Let’s not get distracted here; I know you care more about other things than my grammar issues. I would like to find out a few things about you.

  •  Do you find it a challenge to stick to the theme of your blog?
  • Are there times when you’d like to write whatever, just like I am today?
  • Once you hit publish, do you get nervous what readers will think of your post or should I say you?
  • Do you wake up at 2 a.m., in a sweat (ladies you know what I mean) and panic because you don’t have a topic to write about, and you work yourself into a tizzy because you realize your book is more important than your blog, so you start worrying about your kids, your marriage, your life, and global warming? Then by 3 a.m., you finally relax enough to sleep until you decide to get up and write your post before you forget what you wanted to write about.

There are days when we think we’re on a stage, performing for an audience, and in a way being a writer/blogger is the same. Even if we think we wrote a brilliant post, article or book, we can’t be happy until we know what our audience thinks of our “performance.”  Of course we can judge by the number of comments, Tweets and reviews we receive, however, this shouldn’t matter as much as what we think of our self.

Photo credit above

My blog was hacked. Why me?

October 10, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

 

My website was hacked last Friday and I felt sick to my stomach. It felt like an intruder entered my home, stole  my belongings and left me naked and vulnerable.

How could this happen to me? I’m not a corporation or a business selling products; no I’m Sonia Marsh, author and blogger who enjoys a community of people from around the world.

So here’s what happened. (I am not a professional website designer or coder who can offer technical advice.)

I logged onto my hosted WordPress website and noticed that the photograph on the most recent post on the landing page had disappeared. A black dot had replaced the photo. The photo was still on the post, so why wasn’t it being “pulled” onto the home page? (My website designer and coder had written code to do this automatically.)  I experimented uploading another photo hoping  this might be the solution. After deleting photos from my Gallery, and uploading them directly into my post, nothing worked. Within an hour or so, all photos on my home page were replaced by small black dots. I felt like my blog was slowly crumbling in front of my eyes just like the frightening photos of the Twin Towers on 9/11.

I checked all three of my domain names and my website never popped up. The directory no longer had an index file. I no longer existed on the web. As I mourned the death of my website with hundreds of posts, photos and comments gone forever, my immediate reaction was the most common one: panic, which can also be the most dangerous one. Douglas Karr explains in his article “WordPress Hacked? Ten Steps to Repair Your Blog,”

  • “Stay Calm! Don’t start deleting things and installing all kinds of crap that promises to clean your installation up. You don’t know who wrote it and whether or not it’s simply adding more malicious crap to your blog. Take a deep breath, lookup this blog post, and slowly and deliberately go down the checklist.”
  • Call your web-hosting company, if you use one, and ask them to look into it.
  • Act fast. Get immediate professional help if you don’t know how to fix yourself.

I went from panic, to mad to Gutsy, and said, “That damn HACKER is not going to get away with this. I’m not giving up after all these years of blogging, I have to get it back.”

I e-mailed my web-designer who got back to me right away and said, “Sonia, you’ve been hacked. Call your web-hosting company immediately and find out what’s going on.”

She is not a coder but put me in touch with a fantastic guy who informed me the problem lies with a script called: timthumb.php. That script had a ‘hole’ in it that would let people take over WordPress sites.

From there it infected almost every other file in WordPress, the plugins and the theme.
In order to reduce your risk here are a 5 steps to take if you use WordPress:
  1. Keep your themes and plugins updated – #1 cause of malware infections and hacks independent of any platform!
  2. Only download from reputable sources (WordPress.org).
  3. Only use plugins and themes that are being actively developed and have good, trusted reviews. Do your homework
  4. Keep an eye on WordPress security news to see if there are any issues with the plugins or themes you are using.
  5. Don’t just disable, remove any software that you’re not actively using. Just because it’s not active doesn’t mean it’s not vulnerable
I lost two pounds on Friday from nerves and not eating and had an event to attend in the evening. Fortunately, when I returned, Loren, the tech guy, left me this message.
“I pretty sure I’ve got it clean
I had to completely re-install WordPress
Delete all plugins
Re-install all plugins
clean every theme file.”

I clicked on my website: soniamarsh.com and I was back online. I celebrated with a glass of wine, and deleted a couple of plugins I don’t use. I hope this never happens to you, or to me again.

Don’t forget to change your passwords frequently.

Have you been hacked before? How did you react?

 

Above Photo Daniel Conway

 

 

My "Gutsy" Interview on The Blogstress Network

March 14, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

I was interviewed on The Blogstress Network as their featured Blogstress of the month and hope you visit and comment on their blog. It would be an honor for me to respond to your comments.
Thanks and I’ll chat with you over at The Blogstress Network.

Thank You, and please join their fabulous network.

Is blogging messing with your mind?

February 28, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Victoria House, Ambergris Caye, Belize

For once, I’m determined to get my posts ready for the week. It’s Sunday afternoon and I’ve been glued to my office chair, staring at my computer for several hours. What the hell am I doing? the sun is shining and I’m inside my kitchen writing. (No need to tell me I’m crazy, I already realize that thank you.)

Fortunately, I find a blog post that resonates with what I’m thinking today and it’s called: “5 ways fear can mess up your blog,” by Tess Marshall from The Bold Life.

Tess points out “5 ways fear steals your joy and what action you can take in order to enjoy life and the blogging process.” Please hop over to read her great advice.

1. You obsess about the competition.
2. Your content Lacks pizzazz.
3. You Doubt Yourself.
4. You’re unmotivated and stuck.
5. You want to give up and quit.  
  
“Become aware of how many times in one day you wish for a better and bigger blog and all that goes with it?

Now estimate how many times a day you say to yourself,’My life is great just the way it is today!'”

Of course Tess is right, but once you get bitten by the blogger bug, it’s very difficult to erase it from your mind; especially when you’ve been asked to join a panel and speak about “Beyond Blogging” at the Orange County Branch of the California Writers Club.

A romantic dinner at home.

Last night I set a romantic table next to our fireplace. I had candles, roses in a vase, and champagne flutes ready for our dinner. With the kids gone, my husband and I can finally have romantic dinners at home. As we sip our champagne with some smoked salmon appetizers, I ask him, “Do you think I’d spend as many hours in front of my computer if we moved back to Ambergris Caye? (Photo at the top is from Ambergris Caye where we lived from 2004-2005. This is Victoria House, a beautiful resort on the island.) Before he has time to answer, I say, “I’m sure I’d blog and spend hours on my laptop.” In a way I’m scared Gutsy enough to admit that blogging and writing is my obsession, but since statistics show that women outnumber men in the social media world, perhaps society has created a new female disease that requires a new form of treatment.

So my question to you is: “Is blogging messing with your mind?” If so, in what way? 
This question is for men too. Please ask your friends and share.

If you were a logo what would you be?

February 17, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

If you were a logo what would you be?

Or let me rephrase that. If you were to create a logo for your blog, how would it look?

Many of you already have logos, and if you do, you can skip to the bottom section if you like, where I ask your opinion.

It wasn’t until a few months ago when I contacted Annabel Candy, from GetintheHotspot, about revamping my blog, that the question of a logo arose. You’ll notice her logo: three orange circles and a red one. She even has it on her T-shirts, which you might recall I posted about. Up until that moment, I thought logos were for other businesses, but then I realized, I am a business. You see, I’m selling “myself” well, as a writer that is, and if you listen to agents and editors at conferences, they want “unknown and unpopular” people, to become “known and popular.” That’s all there is to it. Become famous and you have a chance.

So how do you become popular and famous? With a logo? Well, why not? Other businesses have. Of course it takes much more than a logo, like a great concept and a message is helpful too. Look at Chris Guillebeau and The Art of Non Conformity logo. It’s memorable, because it’s different in that it’s non-conformist.

Then there’s Darren Rose of Problogger, whose guest post by Liane from Blog Design Team, resulted in my logo post today: “The ultimate guide to creating your blog logo.” If you’d like to read about the importance of a blog logo in more detail, please head over to Problogger. Liane states that there are three important reasons to have a logo:

  • branding 
  • recognition 
  • authority

 The makings of a great blog logo require these five components according to Liane.

  1. A color scheme that works
  2. Good typography
  3. An original concept
  4. Good resolution
  5. Conveys your blog’s or your personality.

So coming back to my question above, if you were a logo what would you be? (Take into account the five components mentioned above.)

If you have a moment, I’d appreciate your input on a logo for my blog. What logo should I have?
Thanks, and please share with your fellow bloggers. We could make this a fun group exercise and help one another.

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