Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Social media addicts take worlidays

August 15, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

I admit I’m an addict, a middle-aged social media addict. How do I know? Because of two things I did while on vacation last week with my husband and youngest son.

It’s our 25th wedding Anniversary and we’re checking into a nice hotel on Pensacola beach, Florida. The first thing I ask before we get our room key is, “What’s your Internet access code?” Then I start thinking, perhaps we can order a bottle of champagne and say cheers in front of our laptops. The good news is my husband is an addict too, but not the BA kind (blogging addict), no he’s an FA (forum addict) the kind where people discuss cameras.
My husband finds a great restaurant within walking distance from our hotel to celebrate our Anniversary. He’s dressed and ready to go and I say, “Let me just finish commenting on this friend’s blog and then we can go.” Is that sad or what?

Now that I’m back home, with no excuses to not get back in the swing of posting, I discovered this article, “Scrap holidays, bring on the ‘worliday’,” which made me realize that perhaps I should quit criticizing social media, and those who participate in it, and simply accept that, old-fashioned holidays are gone forever, and we now have to call them “worlidays.” Lucy Kellaway of the Financial Times, invented this word. Another term is the “workation.”

“Worliday is a bit like holiday and a bit like work. It’s the future for most professional workers – and actually, contrary to what most people would have you believe, worliday is really rather nice.” says Lucy Kellaway.

I think most of us are programmed to believe that vacations are about de-stressing and spending time with family, not checking our FaceBook, Tweets, or whatever else we do. Some experts believe we cannot recharge our batteries unless we “disconnect,” completely from work.

But Kellaway brings up a great point by claiming that we don’t:

” always respond well to a sudden cold-turkey immersion in idleness with the family in a strange place.”

I feel better after reading her article where she points out that prior to Internet days, it would take a good week to “unwind,” and relax and stop worrying about work. Since most Americans take a week or less off, I guess they never have enough time to “unwind.”

Benefits of taking worlidays

There is no stark transition between work and holiday
You can get away more often, since you’re still (sort of) working

Obviously this more flexible system may not work for professionals with fixed holidays and hours, however, certain companies like Netflix, allow their employees to go on vacation when they feel like taking one- no-one keeps records.

So are the good old-fashioned board game days of family vacations gone forever?

I think so. When people sunbathe with their i-phones and eat breakfast with their laptops and tablets, perhaps the newspaper is the only thing left of the good old days.

Are you in favor of worlidays or the traditional pre-Internet holiday?

Are you capable of a complete disconnect? If so what is your maximum time to stay away from the Internet?

Worliday man Photo credit

9 things you don’t know about me (on vacation)

August 9, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Are you the same person when you’re on vacation as you are at home or are your more Gutsy?

Do you try new things like:

Parasailing
Bungee jumping
Sky diving
Helicopter rides
Wave runners
Snorkeling
New foods
New drinks
Dancing at local night spots
Meeting new people
Morphing into a crazy, wild person

Here are 9 things you don’t know about me when I’m on vacation.

1. I let my hair go wild and curly: its natural state.

2. I love to dance. My husband and I lucked out with the Bag of Donuts, and The Molly Ringwalds, 80’s music. Pensecola Beach has live music everywhere, and my poor ears are not used to loud nightclubs. I shall remain deaf for weeks.

3. I drink and eat a little more while on vacation. Pensecola’s specialty drink is called: The Bushwacher. It tastes like a vanilla shake with Kahlua and rum: a great smoothie for hot weather and dancing.

Sonia and Duke Paeg Leg Pete's — Sonia and Duke at Peg Leg Pete's

4. I try to workout a couple of times at the hotel gym, and am happy when the equipment is in good condition.

5. I love to walk along the beach at sunrise, with my first cup of coffee.

Sonia walking on beach — Sonia walking on Pensecola Beach

6. I bring my own ground coffee fom Peets to our hotel room, as well as cashews, almonds and cookies from Trader Joe’s for the flights since they no longer offer meals.

Hush puppies sweet donut rolls served with dinner

7. I hate sunbathing. Many of my European friends can sit for hours in the sun. As long as I’m swimming, walking or doing something other than sunbathing, I prefer to be outdoors.

8. I enjoy talking to people and making new friends. I met Nancy, the jewelry lady from our hotel, and we shared our travel stories. My husband enjoys reading for hours, and like most women, I have to talk.

: Sonia and Duke on Snorkeling/Sailing boat trip

9. I try to do something different every day. Either an activity like snorkeling or parasailing, or visiting local sites.

We had a wonderful time sailing and snorkeling with Captain Jim and his wife Cindy. You can check out their Jolly Sailing website with photos.

: Cannon at Fort Pickens

We visited Fort Pickens, the largest of four forts built to defend Pensecola Bay and its navy yard. Built in 1829 and completed in 1834 by African-American slave labor. Fort Pickens was named after Revolutionary War hero General Andrew Pickens.

What about you? Please share 1-9 things about you when you’re on vacation.

Follow your dreams and find yourself

August 4, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

A guest post by Melissa Adams.

I met Melissa Adams at the Southern California Writers Association and knew I had to interview this Gutsy Lady. She’s doing what many of us hope to do: following her dreams. If you’ve never heard of a cycling Safari, you’re in for a treat.

Getting Lost to Find Yourself

You traded Southern California for Amsterdam. Why?
I grew up in L.A., earned a degree in English from UCLA and became a professional travel writer right out of college. I married, moved to Newport Beach and pursued a career as a corporate communicator, newspaper columnist, advertising copywriter and freelance journalist. While raising two children, my husband and I traveled frequently. But the rift in our values grew with the years. I wanted fun, risk and adventure. He was content pursuing a materialistic American dream.

Our 1999 divorce ended a 23-year marriage that lasted 22 years too long. After a lifetime in California, I felt bored, empty and restless as a mid-life single in an upscale beach town—land of eternal sun and sometimes eternal sadness. Glorious Newport Beach had become a cultural vacuum for me; I’d lost my sense of childlike wonder and was plodding along on auto-pilot.

What was the catalyst for change?
In 2007, I took a trip that changed my life. After a week of cycling on the Italian Adriatic with my bike club, I visited my son studying in Florence, then flew to Amsterdam. The minute I landed in Holland’s laid-back capital, I had an epiphany: I was living in a three-bedroom home in a town I’d become jaded about with my cat! My parents were gone, my kids had flown the coop. My possessions owned me, rather than the other way around. Starved for new experiences, I needed a change and was prepared to make one. “I’m moving to Amsterdam,” I announced. And so began My ‘Dam Affair.

Is that the title of a book you’re writing?

It’s an unpublished memoir about my 2008 European adventure. It will be rewritten into My ‘Dam Betrayal, An Expat’s Tale of Scents and Sensibility, a true story about friendship, betrayal and my 2010 entanglement with a Dutch aroma jockey, Dr. Stinky and his Ministry of Nonsense. Stay tuned!

Why Holland?
Since 2007, I’ve been intoxicated by The Netherlands’ beauty, culture, history and quirky residents. Even the weather fascinates me, as I’ve never lived with seasons before. Here, I feel authentic in a way I never did in California. I’m entranced by A’dam’s bohemian vibe, Old World charm and non-snooty attitude toward alternative lifestyles. Dutchies are direct, casual and open-minded, with an egalitarian outlook that eschews authority and welcomes debate. Which makes for interesting discussions. Everyone under 50 speaks English, but you hear many languages on the grachts and straats—evidence of a multicultural population and A’dam’s draw as a world-class tourist destination.

My new hometown is a village where I’m not anonymous as I was back home. Local merchants know me. I meet friends on the street. It’s easy to get around via foot, bike and public transport, so no need for a car. A’dam is also a good base for foreign travel; a 20-minute bus ride gets me to Schipol, gateway to the world. But the best thing about the town is its connectedness. In all my travels, I’ve never found another city where it’s perfectly normal to chat up perfect strangers.

I’d like to know about your cycling.

Melissa and Doug — Touring South Africa's Cape Peninsula with Doug Lofland & Beyond Boundaries Travel

I’ve been an avid recreational cyclist and member of the Bicycle Club of Irvine since 1994. The group offers something for everyone, from casual weekend riders to elite athletes. Cycling dovetailed with my freelance writing; I’ve ridden and written about bike-barge tours in Italy, Holland, Turkey and the Greek Islands and Egypt.

In May 2011, Beyond Boundaries Travel invited me to scout two South Africa cycling itineraries on the Western Cape and “glamping” (luxury camping) on The Savannah Game Preserve near Johannesburg. Outside stunning Hout Bay, we sang with an African gospel choir, climbed Chapman’s Peak Drive (one of the most spectacular coastal stretches in the world) and visited Kirstenbosch Botanical Garden, Constantia Valley Winelands and Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 years. We pedaled mountain bikes through tunnels hewn of sheer rock, past foraging baboons and a Jackass (African) Penguin colony at Boulders Beach.

Our adventure continued on the Savannah Game Preserve, a 2,500-acre spread on the Vaal River where more than 25 mammal species roam freely. In luxury tents with electricity and full baths, we roughed it like royalty overlooking the watering hole of rhinos, kudus, buffaloes, zebras, jackals, elands, nyalas and duikers.

ParyGameLodge — "Glamping" on the Savannah Game Preserve

Here we journeyed “into Africa” with Earth’s fastest endangered cat. Established in 2001 to breed and reintroduce cheetahs to the wild, Savannah Cheetah Foundation is a nonprofit organization dedicated to protecting Africa’s indigenous wildlife and ecosystems.

Beyond game drives and relaxed meals on the preserve, we rode through Tumahole Township, stark contrast to mansions perched on cliffs with to-die-for sea views in Clifton and Camps Bay. We bid our hosts and fellow travelers farewell at a South African braai (BBQ) and roaring bonfire that illuminated Zulu dancers.

Who’s a good candidate for a cycling safari?

Like people, bike-barge tours and cycling safaris come in all shapes and sizes. There are tours in flat countries like Holland and hilly ones like Greece and Italy, where most monuments are on hill summits. Options include guided, self-guided, themed, family and special interest tours. Many are available through Bike Tours Direct and Beyond Boundaries Travel.

Riding with the Rhinos. Savannah Game Preserve

Anyone with moderate fitness and desire for immersion in a foreign culture will enjoy cycle-touring. On two wheels you see, smell, hear, taste and experience more than you do in a bus or car in an up-close-and-personal way. Plus, you enjoy the exhilaration of riding a vehicle associated with childhood freedom through exotic destinations.

Do you consider yourself a risk-taker? If so, why?

Melissa and dancers — Zulu dancers at our braai (BBQ)

I consider myself someone who lives life to the fullest, leaving no space for regrets. I re-invented myself after a mid-life divorce with a move that shocked, surprised and puzzled people. For me, the alternative was emotional suicide. I never bloomed where I was planted. But I’ve bloomed on the flip side, in the final quarter of my life. Every day I wake up in Amsterdam is a gift. My only regret is not having 48 hours a day to relish each one.

***

Melissa Adams is a freelance travel writer based in Amsterdam, NL. She welcomes questions about cycle touring and adventure travel at melissa@wordgeisha.com.

Learn more at www.wordgeisha.com and www.wordgeisha.blogspot.com.

How authentic are we online?

August 1, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

The more I learn about social media, the more I think there’s one huge contradiction.

The biggest problem I see is with authenticity.

I’ve heard time and time again that the secret to being a successful blogger is to:

Write great content
Solve a problem for your readers
Meet some specific need or desire for your readers
Differentiate yourself from the 1,000’s of other blogs out there
Be yourself

We know that blogs with massive numbers of subscribers follow the five guidelines mentioned above, however, I would like to focus on the last one: be yourself, and here’s where I see the problem. How authentic are we online?

We’re told that the best approach is to:

“Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not; people can tell if you’re a fake.”

Before I go one step further I have to admit that I’m not 100% myself either (Gasp!) because if I were, I wouldn’t be spending hours producing a how I made my blog welcome video where I sound perkier and livelier than I would at a martini party with my closest friends. And since my article is about being authentic, let me say right now that I wouldn’t spend days and weekends blogging, Tweeting, FaceBooking and commenting on other people’s blogs if I didn’t have a book coming out? (Gasp again!)

I do this because I’m Sonia Marsh and not Sarah Palin. Unfortunately, that dirty word, “self-promotion” for unknown people like myself is what’s expected in the 21st Century. I feel like my online world has sucked me into become one big self-promotional tool and that if I step off and enjoy good old-fashioned phone, and face-to-face conversations with my human friends, I might be “forgotten.”

I know I’m not alone. A popular blogger, Jen Gresham from Everyday Bright wrote about her two-month online sabbatical in her July 5th post: When Wonder Woman Isn’t Feeling So Wonderful.

“Part of me (and I’m sure some of my fellow bloggers) thinks this is crazy with a capital C. There’s this idea that if you stop writing, the crowd will disperse and never, ever come back.” (From Jen Gresham’s blog.)

So what’s wrong with us? It’s like we think, if only I put in more hours into my social media, I can grow my blog. For whom? For what reason? Is that because we want fame? money? more subscribers to feel better? Get people to follow us because we’re more popular than they are?

I think some of us need a reality check. Do you feel like you’re truly yourself online? Come on, be honest with me.

Here’s a list of things most of us are guilty of, and yes, I admit, I’ve done these myself.

Saying, “Loved your post, or great post,” because we want to be liked.
Skimming through headlines, because we don’t have enough time to read as many blog posts as we feel we should.
Trying to read and make a comment of value on certain posts, especially if we know that blogger is popular and hope he/she will notice us.
Retweeting something because once again, we hope to be noticed.

So what’s the truth here? Are we phony?

You know something’s off kilter when your social media takes precedence over your own family. I remember feeling guilty as hell when my 23-year-old son called and asked me to check airfares for him to come home, and before I did that, I had to check my social media responses first. Sick, sick, sick… What has happened to us? Have we become so self-centered and competitive because of social media, or are we getting sucked into it because if we don’t do it, we’ll never make it.

Of course there are several reasons, one of them might be a problem with addiction to social media. But in many cases, it’s either about making a living, becoming rich, famous, getting exposure, getting more readers, fundraising or sharing what we do with others.

So I invite you to comment, e-mail, Tweet, FB and “like” me, and there’s always the telephone, if you have time to go out for a real cup of coffee and we can be ourselves.

Photo credit Thomas Hendele

Do you need help? Ask expert Robert MacPhee

July 28, 2011 by Sonia Marsh

Are there times when you’d like to ask for help? Do you like hearing how others have succeeded at something you’d like to try yourself? How about specific steps you need to take to get out of your comfort zone?

There are many ways to learn, and interviewing the experts is one way. I’d like to offer a new approach to Gutsy Living as I start interviewing Gutsy people who can help answer our questions and steer us with their advice and life stories.

Here’s your chance to ask Robert MacPhee your questions before I interview him on August 24th, 2011.

Please watch the video which explains more about my first guest, Robert MacPhee, the author of Manifesting For Non- Gurus. Robert has worked closely with Jack Canfield, the famous co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, for the past 10 years, and is now the Director of Jack’s year long Platinum Inner Circle and Train the Trainer programs.

Robert will focus on comfort zones. Here’s what he said.

“Those who are willing to get out of their comfort zones are gutsy, willing to take risks and stretch themselves. We can talk about what comfort zones are, why we get stuck in them and how to bust out of them…”

Here’s your opportunity to ask Robert MacPhee, (Jack Canfield’s master trainer) any question specific to your situation or someone you want to help.

You can either ask in the comment section below or if you prefer to e-mail your question directly to me at: sonia@soniamarsh.com.

Please share this wonderful opportunity with friends or relatives who wish to ask Robert MacPhee a question, including his five step process which he explains in Manifesting for Non-Gurus.

This is going to be exciting! I shall have a podcast ready with your questions and his answers on Monday, August 29th, the day before my birthday. (Just had to throw that one in there.)