“Gutsy in Ukraine”
My Gutsy Story® by Marian Beaman
The gutsiest part of our visit to Ukraine in 2011 was that we didn’t use the “return” part of our ticket 4 days into the trip.
Why, you ask, would you want to leave a country with affectionate, artistic people? With gold-domed cathedrals? With an astonishing exchange rate of 8.97 greve / $ 1.00 US dollar? With “free” lodging at the home of our host, for heaven’s sake?
Well, some background to start. At the invitation of our friend Margot, who runs a charity fund in Ukraine, my husband Cliff and I have agreed to present 20 performances in the public schools of Kiev as a gesture of good-will, all work pro bono. Cliff does art and music shows with historical, character-building, and environmental themes.
I am asked to give short lessons in English using plastic eggs to teach the names of colors. Like children everywhere, they are eager to learn but struggle to twist their tongues around combinations of sounds unfamiliar to their native Russian: pink became pinnnngk to them. I also assist students in cleaning sticks of chalk after each multi-media performance and then make the evening meal at Margot’s apartment.
We have known Margot, our host and guide, since she was 8-years-old, when we were newlyweds. We have a quasi sister/daughter relationship with her. Over the years, we have shared meals on her furloughs home to Florida. In Ukraine, she has built close relationships with her staff of six who help her design curriculum for use in schools and churches. Children she interacts with adore her warmth and creativity. But from the beginning, Margot alternates between approval and hostility for my husband Cliff, a baffling, unexplainable response from someone who is the beneficiary of free programs along with receiving funds for meals and transportation for her staff as we travel. Although we came at her invitation, we have to wonder, “Does she consider Cliff a threat for some reason? Is she envious? Something else? Fortunately, her staff is most gracious, the school children so very appreciative in Kiev, Zhitomer, and neighboring villages. Standing ovations for Cliff’s performances with requests for autographs. Grateful administrators.
And there is a lot to love here culturally: “Zorba, the Greek” ballet at the Kiev Opera House, a magnificent edifice shaped like a fancy cake, the Moscow Circus performers—even their paper money is decorative. And art everywhere! Walls of World War II-vintage schools feature cute, flowery cutouts to celebrate spring. Students are all decked out in formal outfits for class: boys in suits, girls in black and white outfits, the older ones with stiletto heels. (Odd by American standards but attractive nonetheless.)
Yes, there are hardships, some anticipated, and some not. At the whim of city fathers, the hot water in Kiev is turned off for days on end. Everywhere we go, the toilets are of the low-down variety: Let’s just say I’m glad I practiced my squats in the gym before the trip.
In school rest-rooms, there rarely is soap, and I carry sections of toilet paper in my fanny pack everywhere we go. There is absolutely NO toilet paper in any of the school restrooms we visit. In fact, prior to the trip, Cliff’s easel and accoutrements including lecturer’s chalk, were all cushioned with dozens of rolls of toilet tissue for us and the staff, packed to sail on a freighter through the Black Sea and shipped into Kiev before our arrival. Once we have to pay 56 kopeks in Sevastopol to use the urinal, but there is toilet paper provided and a woman who mops up!
Beyond the hardship and adjustment to cultural differences, I treasure the new friends I meet: Anya and Sergei whose hearts are big enough to adopt several children from the bulging orphanages in the city in addition to their own brood. Good-natured Demetri, who translates Cliff’s remarks into Russian. Roman, who knows how to talk himself out of a traffic ticket. Then there’s Alona and Tanya who should be awarded gold stars for hospitality. A lovely dinner at the home of Pastor Peter and his wife Lilly. Petite, unassuming Dr. Olga, M. D. and PhD, researcher with mice, who escorts us all around Crimea near the end of our stay, touring the Tsar’s palace, visiting Yalta, and learning that the Black Sea is actually bright blue!
Miraculously our trip continued beyond the fourth day to embrace a culture we may never have experienced otherwise and friendships that continue to this day. We get updates from many of these new-found friends. In fact, Roman is one of my friends on Facebook! Lesson learned? Rise above the pettiness and concentrate on the positive—a lesson that apparently I needed to re-learn.
We fly to Paris on the return trip. At the Charles de Gaulle Airport, we go to the transfer desk by tram but find a long queue. When I face the agent, I practice my wobbly French to ask directions to the gate: “Quel dirreccion est la porte trente-deux?” She replies sweetly, “Prenez l’escalier derriere vous.” Okay, it’s behind me and up a flight of stairs.
“Magnifique,” her smile says. And that’s how I remember our trip to Ukraine.
***
Marian Longenecker Beaman’s life has been characterized by re-invention: Pennsylvania Mennonite girl becomes traveling artist’s wife in Florida, then English professor with credits in the Journal of the Forum on Public Policy published by Oxford University Press. Along with my work as a community activist leading a neighborhood to take on Wal-Mart expansion, I am a writer and blogger in this second phase of my career. Fitness training and Pilates classes at the gym have become a metaphor for my mind-flexing experience as a writer, mining stories from my past along with reflections on current events.
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Marian, What a wonderful cultural experience you had in the Ukraine. I was wondering how long you stayed there.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..Rising Above the Pettiness to Focus on the Positive by Marian Beaman
We were there for 3 weeks–a lot packed into a short time, as you can tell!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Dear Marian, you and Cliff are the two dearest people I know and certainly very gutsy. I know you have made a huge difference in many lives. You have my vote!
Lovely to hear from you and hope all is well with you and your family. Give the boys a hug for me!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
You dwell on the positive not the negative in this well written story and the beautiful pictures inhance the story line.
Your Sister with Love,
Jean
Ah, thanks so much! One day the three of us will be lounging on tropical sands in a setting like this. Maybe even sooner than we imagine.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
What a great, gutsy story, Marian. Like so many of Sonia’s friends, you have had expatriate experience. Such enthusiasm for people you and Clif share! Did you ever solve the puzzle of Margot’s reactions?
Shirley Hershey Showalter recently posted..Do You Remember December 1, 1969? Another Chance to Publish Your Story!
At the end of a short note a few weeks later, Margot wrote “Thank you for overlooking my faults.” I still support her work in all the ways you can imagine.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Marian, I knew you were gutsy when I saw you white water rafting with a guide who was literally airborne, but this trip was truly remarkable. You and Cliff are so talented and genrous to share your gifts with these children in such meaningful ways. So enjoyed your latest “gutsy” adventure.
Packing toilet paper gave a whole new meaning to fanny pack. Were I to use the “necessary” I’m sure someone would have to mop ME off to floor.
Well, I’m off to see if I can recall any gutsy adventures of my own.
Love the metaphor: Packing toilet paper gave a whole new meaning to fanny pack.
Do reply when you recall some gutsy adventures of your own. We’d all like to hear them!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Marian, you and Cliff have so many gifts to share and it appears that you have given much to the children of Ukraine. Likewise, it appears they in return show you their love and welcome your teachings. Margot’s reactions are quite strange, and I’m so glad you don’t allow her to interfere with your plans. However, I (like Shirley) wonder if you ever figured this out.
Living outside your culture and country must require so many adjustments. Kudos to you and Cliff for sacrificing the comforts of home to spread love and lessons.
Sherrey Meyer recently posted..How to Sell Your Memoir: 12 Steps to a Perfect Book Proposal by Brooke Warner | A Review
Thank you for following me to Gutsy Living today, Sherrey. Yes, we are still guessing at the origin of Margot’s reactions, but we didn’t want to let such pettiness ruin our once-in-a-lifetime experience in Ukraine.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
I love the buoyant energy in this story, Marian. Like cream, it rises to the top, being positive, uplifting, constructive, and healing.
Laurie Buchanan recently posted..OUTSTANDING or OUT STANDING In Your Field
You are so good with metaphors, Laurie. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Your colorful description gives me wanderlust and the desire to visit Kiev. What a richly rewarding trip you had! I love that toilet picture. It says so much. They are an acquired taste. If you are able to squat, they are far more sanitary than our who knows how clean American seats, and no need to waste precious paper to line them. But they are definitely not designed for lingering. What a poignant reminder of how privileged we are in the USA to have toilet paper everywhere.
Maybe you can answer this recurring question in a comment: What happened with Margot that had you considering fleeing after four days? Enquiring minds want to know.
Sharon Lippincott recently posted..Lessons Learned on the Amazon Path
The details are numerous and heart-rending, Sharon. The undefined hostility may be revealed in a sequel that wouldn’t have the word “positive” in the title!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Marian, I love your diplomatic response above. 🙂
Sonia Marsh recently posted..Rising Above the Pettiness to Focus on the Positive by Marian Beaman
I’m sad to hear that Marian. Obviously enough said about that, at least for now. Sounds like the whole picture could make a sit-up-all-night read. You obviously transcended the situation. Brava!
Sharon Lippincott recently posted..Lessons Learned on the Amazon Path
My journal is replete with every detail. But now with the hindsight of 2 1/2 years that have transpired, I view the negatives with an overlay of understanding and forgiveness.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Hi Marian, How fun to find you as Sonia’s latest Gutsy warrior.
Thank you so much for that photo of the toilet. It brought back fond memories, believe it or not.
Did I know you were in Ukraine so recently? If I did, I’m sorry I did not remember. I wonder if you, like I did in Kazakhstan, found it hard to separate the Ukraine culture from the Soviet culture.
Janet
Janet Givens recently posted..FINDING JOY AGAIN: A POST ON GRATITUDE
It actually wasn’t very recent: 2011. Yes, the Soviet and Ukrainian culture are almost indistinguishable, especially since most Ukrainians speak Russian. Thanks for the comment, Janet.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
I do love how you focus on the positive and laugh at the negatives. You are a wonderful teacher, and your words make me smile.
Right! There was so much to love in Ukraine, but I couldn’t include it all in 1000 words or less. I guess there will have to be a sequel!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
You packed a lot of adventures into that 3-week trip! Thanks for sharing.
(My grandparents all came from Ukraine–but that was a century ago and they were fleeing from persecution.)
merrildsmith recently posted..Mixing and Stirring: Blending Food, Family, and Friend
Mine came from Switzerland and yours from Ukraine. Well, I guess we could both get very involved in ancestral research. Thanks for reading and commenting, Merrill.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Dear Marian and Sonya, How did I miss this gem? What a wonderful glimpse into another culture–positive and negative. it reminded me of having to pay for the use of public restrooms in Italy during our recent stay. I love your message of focusing on the positive, Marian. Lovely!
Kathy
http://krpooler.com
Thank you, Kathy. I began the day enjoying the Vimeo celebrating your 4th “blogiversary” and then end it with your kind comment on the Gutsy Story website.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Magnificent story of courage and perseverance and passion. Thanks for sharing.
And thanks for reading and caring to comment. I am absolutely sure there are examples of the same in your own repertoire of stories, Steve.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
What a great story – I definitely felt the lack of loo paper story as I lived for three years in China (without toilet paper).
Lady Fi recently posted..Frosted
Welcome, Lady Fi! You have had first-hand experience in a totally different culture, so I’m sure my reference took you straight back to your time in China. Thanks for commenting: I definitely will check out the recent posting on your website.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Mom’s vegetable soup, good for what ails you
Marion,
How exotic and interesting your experience must have been. You put it all down in words so well. So much story packed so succinctly in a small amount of space. That’s what I call talent!
Thanks for sharing this story and your lives (you and Cliff), with all of us.
I left a comment on your Facebook page, and here is what happens. So good to hear from you again, Sean. Thanks for the kind words.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Moments of Extreme Emotion Series: My Marriage in Vacuum Cleaners
Almost, but not quite as wild as my trips to India. I remembered coming home and feeling we could eat off the floor in the airport. Everything seemed so clean, particularly bathrooms. Thank you for the gifts you and your husband give the world and for sharing the gifts in stories.
Elaine Mansfield recently posted..Finding Balance during Grief: Healing Dreams and Creativity
India? Sounds exotic, but I’m sure your experience was more rugged than ours as you say. Thanks for the comment and the kind words, Elaine.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Divas of Downton Abbey: Southern Style
What a great story, Marian. As others have said, you did a wonderful job packing all that into 1000 words! You and your husband are role models for others with you giving and generous adventures. Good luck! :>)
Hey, Patti the Photographer, and more. I hear you’re heading for Alaska soon for more adventures–and to help out family of course. You too are generous and giving. Thanks for reading and commenting too.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Divas of Downton Abbey: Southern Style
Great job relating the visit. Felt like I was there! 🙂
The best of all compliments–thank you, Steve!
I love your story! I have also traveled through third-world countries (Siberia, Russia, Estonia, to name a few) and remember those hole-in-the-floor toilettes with NO toilet paper! I wish you oceans of blessings for the new year.
Sharon, thank you so much for commenting. I imagine you were re-living some of the experiences I recounted in my story in addition to the off-the-wall toilets. You are also invited to vote for the story and then to visit my website for new posts. Again, thanks for stopping by with a reply.
Marian Beaman recently posted..Up in the Garret
hearing your story of your travels in the Ukraine was nothing like my visit to Ukraine back in 1990. We were a chamber choir performing in the US embassy and in as many scools and community centers as we possibly could. Your colorful descriptions bring me back to that special time and place of my youth.
Thank you.
Dorit Sasson
http://www.GivingaVoicetotheVoicelessBook.com
Giving Voice to Your Story
Dorit, I am glad my story evokes happy memories of Ukraine for you. According to your website, you have had enlightening experiences traveling. Because of my career in teaching, I was especially interested in your work as an ESL teacher to Israeli school children. Thank you for your comment. I am happy to meet another gutsy woman!
Marian Beaman recently posted..Happy Birthday, Will!