Twenty Push-Ups
There is a modern-day fairytale that begins like this:
Once upon a time in the midst of raising children, a lovely lady who had grown a bit complacent was surprised one day when her mate of many years said I don’t love you anymore. When the last child went off to college, he was with someone who made him feel younger and she was alone.
It was the first time she had lived alone. She ate cereal for dinner on occasion. She let the house get messy. She played her kind of music loudly. She slept in the middle of her king-sized bed. She chose when and where and why and how without consulting anyone.
In the quiet of that empty nest she remembered being 22. She could not recall exactly why she thought he was the one. She could recollect that when college ended and careers began, marriage seemed like the next logical step. She remembered being caught up in a gale of love that had swept in on the wind of fear. Everyone was being selected, one by one. Would she be the person nobody picked?
And suddenly, years later, it had happened. She was not picked and now she was alone.
This was not what she expected when she was young and raising her family and being supportive and living on the assumption that the future would be spent with the person to whom she had vowed her forever.
After time spent wallowing, she decided one day to call upon her remaining strength. She decided that from now on, she needed to do a couple of push-ups and try something new each day. Before long, she could do twenty push-ups and she had traveled by herself to a place a thousand miles away.
She found herself doing things she had never done before, like asking for help and making people worry and undoing another button on her blouse. She felt amazingly strong.
After some time, she started liking the idea of spending the rest of her life with a person she had recently come to know.
Herself.
One day after she realized that how she felt about herself could be called love, a handsome man rode in and tried to “woo” her. He tried and tried but she doubted there was space in herself to love another now that she so loved herself. She was afraid she might go back to where she had been when she was left by her husband.
But the handsome man was patient. He treated her with kindness and consideration unlike anything she had known before, which caused her to consider him differently. She could see in him quality and value. And she noticed that she smiled more and that her eyes seemed brighter when they were together.
One day as they danced, she told him she loved him. The words popped from her mouth before she had time to think of their meaning. And she knew for a fact there was space in herself to love another.
And the amazingly strong woman could see that whatever way the wind blew and whatever moment of the far-off future she was in, she would not be afraid. For she loved herself.
So she vowed that from that day forward she would be true and loving and faithful.
To herself.
And she felt happy, content, and at peace with that prospect.
Stacia Duvall’s Bio
Stacia Duvall’s Gutsy story is not a story of extreme bravery or challenge but is instead the story of how an ordinary woman chose to become amazing and strong, albeit in her own way. She blogs at http://winsomebella.wordpress.
Sonia Marsh Says:
After reading Stacia Duvall’s, “My Gutsy Story,” I realize her talents go far beyond her photography and her ability to connect with her reader.
Stacia, your story about the breaking up of a marriage, and the process of finding out who you are, and falling in love with “you” before you can love someone else, is so inspiring. So many of us struggle with finding out who we are, and then falling in love with that person.
Stacia has a skill of sharing a story of simple joy through her words and her photography on her blog.
Please leave your questions and comments to Stacia below. I know she will reply.
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Stacia,
Thank you for sharing the message in your story about how to become strong and brave. As you say, we each have our own way of discovering this.
Thank you, Sonia, for giving me the opportunity to share my story. I have read all of the previous gutsy stories and find them to be very inspiring. They make me want to stretch a bit more and never say never 🙂
Stacia Duvall recently posted..Out Beyond
I’m a huge fan of Stacia’s blog and her amazing photography. She has a way with words like no one else I know.
Beautiful story from a beautiful soul.
b
Thanks Barbara……..you are a gem.
Stacia Duvall recently posted..Out Beyond
Stacia,
I love your story…so inspiring and beautiful. I, too, didn’t know what to do when my marriage ended. When I learned the power of being as present to my self as I was to world, my life changed and became the wonderfully abundant adventure it is now. Thank you for sharing as you do…so beautiful, my heart is smiling 🙂
An abundant adventure is exactly what life should be, isn’t it? So glad that you found positives too, Joy.
Stacia Duvall recently posted..Out Beyond
I love the way you tell your story. I just met another woman today who needed to know that life does not end when a relationship breaks up. I know from personal experience it can be the beginning of something new and even better.
I love how you say you loved someone you had recently come to know. “Yourself.” And also how you began to feel amazingly strong.
Thanks for your inspiring story.
This is a beautifully-written and inspiring story.
Lady Fi recently posted..Of waffles and spring
Thank you Lady Fi…..glad you liked it.
Stacia Duvall recently posted..Out Beyond
this so great story.
thanks that you shared this story.
Cley recently posted..Unlock iPhone 4
Anyone that sits behind a desk, and signs orders without having to actually participate in what they’re ordering, I’m sorry that’s not gutsy. So, no he certainly isn’t as gutsy as the media is proclaiming.
Renea recently posted..Article Writer Devon
I agree that this is very inspirational and I hope you can always post more of this..Thanks for your story Stacia!
Rossalie recently posted..wheelchair cars
Loving oneself can sometimes be more difficult than loving others. Thanks for reminding us not to ignore ourselves. It’s so generous of you to share this. All the very best for the future.
ery very inspirational, thank you! it felt like I was reading part of my life’s story except I’ve nver met you.
Divorce is one of life’s terrible experience, mine was a nasty one. It takes away alot of oneself, most importantly self confidence. It sometimes takes a while to find strength,courage and belief to find the YOU that was shred to pieces and to love again.
Ah, Winsomebella, I meet you with/without your pen name? Your photos and writing have inspired many times. Thanks for sharing your story (very similar to my own). You win my vote for being gutsy enough to share.
Blessings from your Twitter friend in TN,
AFocusedPurpose
What a lovely story, you have a kind of power that inspired us all the way, it’s the same as the beautiful photo collection you have share with us here…
Leslie42 recently posted..Livre à recommander: Oser – Thérapie de la confiance en soi
Stacia, your story resonates for so many women, not just women whose husbands have left them after many years. Women may find themselves alone because of the death of a spouse, too, and they need to learn how to trust themselves to survive on their own, maybe for the first time. Even some women in happy marriages have never learned to be strong within themselves. Their husbands are who define them. Your story lets us know that we need to work at being strong women because our culture doesn’t support us. Thank you for sharing your story, Stacia.
I love this blog post. Even women who remain in long-term marriages can learn from your bravery and determination to go on through adversity. Your prose and photographs are remarkable and your story of creating a new life from the ashes is so inspirational.
Love your story and its message. Sometimes it takes heartbreak and being alone – having time to see ourselves as we are – to learn to love ourselves. Once that happens, as in your case, then you radiate self-confidence and fulfillment, which tend to attract people to you. You are one gutsy woman.
Also, what beautiful photos.
Penelope J. recently posted..Never Give Up on Your Dream