I never expected to feel close to one child in particular, and this is exactly what happened to me in the Mayan village of Red Bank, Belize.

Yenni, an eleven-year-old girl, found me. I noticed her in the classroom, when I called upon all the children to follow me for their health screening. She seemed different, perhaps her assertiveness, her “tom-boy” look and the fact that she was one of the few girls who wore pants instead of a skirt, made Yenni stand out.

Yenni didn’t just follow me, she studied the nurses and their treatments. She watched as they wrapped the blood pressure cuff around the arms of the kids, applied creams to infected skin and took temperatures. I could tell her brain cells had kicked into full-time absorption mode. During a restroom break–something we all tried to avoid due to pungent odors and lack of water to flush–Yenni pretended to wash her hands so she could talk to me.
“What’s my name?” she asked.
I met her the day before and felt like I had to pass her quiz or she would get very upset. I often forget names but not faces, and for some reason, Yenni popped into my brain instantly.
“Yenni,” I said and she looked at me like I’d just given her the best birthday gift ever.
“So what do you want to be?” I asked her.
“A doctor,” she replied.
I knew it; this girl has something special.
I alerted nurse Judy Krieg to this special girl and she promised to keep an eye on her, as once in a while you come across someone outstanding, and I believe Yenni is a star. Perhaps a future nurse Judy.

An eye chart test on the children.

As nurse Judy said over and over again, “All is good,” a phrase I’ve adopted in my own life as it has such a soothing effect on your day to day routine. Another phrase I love to hear from Judy, “It is what it is.”

The younger kids showing so much affection to one another. It felt good to see that.

Angie explaining how the kids need to brush their teeth. We saw so many young kids with cracked teeth. Half of the tooth was missing.

So I have the first child I really would like to help as I believe she can make a difference in her community. Unfortunatley she doesn’t have access to a computer and when I asked about mailing her letters, she looked at me not understanding what mail means. Any suggestions on how to keep in touch? Have you ever had an experience like this where you’ve felt like sponsoring a child?

I’m in a hotel room in Naples, Florida right now, looking at a future place to move to. Once you move around the world, you keep wanting to move; at least I do. More later.

“American women don’t know many things about themselves. They try to be right. You have to be yourself. But you have to know who you are.” Sonia Rykiel
No, I didn’t say that. It’s the famous French designer, Sonia.

At Barbara DeMarco Barrett’s “Pen on Fire Speaker Series,” I had the pleasure of listening to American author, Debra Ollivier, talk about her new book, What French Women Know. Ollivier, an American, married a French man and lived in the 19th arrondissement in Paris long enough to give her an amazing perspective on the differences between both cultures, and how women view love, sex and other matters of the heart and mind.

I have taken some snippets out of Ollivier’s book, What French Women Know, to show how well she describes the differences between American and French women. “When we American women aren’t busy trying to change ourselves, we’re often busy trying to change our men.” She mentions an American women’s magazine titled, “Can You Fix Him?” which drives her point across. This is not how French women think. They use emotional intelligence, in more subtle ways.

In another interesting example Ollivier quotes her French friend, Cecile. “Love is not a balance sheet….I did this for you; now you do that…love and sex don’t work that way… Living happily with men is about finding a way to achieve reciprocity and complementarity, not perfect 50-50 egalitarianism.”

One of the reasons American women may not be as happy as French women is that Americans strive for perfection. “French women generally don’t strive for exalted standards of happiness, neither do they strive for exalted standards of moral perfection,” Ollivier writes. Because most French women know who they are, “they often don’t give a damn what we think of them.” Ollivier says, “they don’t grow up with the cultural mandate to be liked.”

From having spent many years in France, I completely agree with this statement. I find myself translating phrases such as, “You did such a great job,” “I love your hair,” the way I would speak to friends in the U.S., into French, and it often comes across as completely phony. Often there’s an awkward silence, and I remember, this is not how French women speak to one another. I have to try to become the “French” woman in France, and the “American” woman in the U.S.

I found the examples Ollivier gives in her book fascinating. I’m curious what comments or questions you have regarding the differences between women of different cultures.

Imagine my shock when told to start thinking inside the box, after years of being brainwashed to think outside the box. Even Oprah forced me to think outside the box.

I admit, I never really understood the true meaning of either one, except that thinking outside the box sounded cool, like I had a unique brain capable of thinking differently, because, dammit, my brain cells are outside thinkers, not inside thinkers.

As a volunteer at the Newport Beach Public Library Foundation, I am fortunate to listen to some famous people. Lynda Resnick, dubbed the “POM Queen,” is behind the marketing success of POM Wonderful, 100% pomegranate juice, Teleflora (the world’s largest floral-by-wire company) and FIJI Water (the leading imported bottled water brand in the United States).

Resnick spoke about how she creates memorable brands and I listened carefully to her lecture to see if any of us can apply her techniques to branding ourselves.

She asked the question: Creativity: Where does it come from? and proceeded to show us a slide of a chimpanzee with a paint brush. “Even animals can learn to paint,” she said, “but being creative, is a process.”

How can you count on creativity? “Creativity isn’t thinking outside the box, it’s thinking inside the box.” she said. She stressed that during these hard economic times, we need to focus on thinking inside the box.

Resnick’s three Gems, the pillars on which any business must be built if it hopes to grow and survive.

1)Value.
2)Unique selling proposition.
3)Community/transparency.

I shall focus on # 3, since this applies to most of us. Resnick says that most people think of Twitter and Facebook, but that they “comprise only two pieces of the social-networking puzzle. “Ning brings the picture one step closer to completion.” Many small businesses have used Ning to build social networks that are big on community and small on cost. To my fellow writers, I found a useful “she writes,” community on Ning. There are over 27 million people who joined, over the last two years.

Another service Resnick recommended, that might help some of us get feedback on a service or a product is Zoomerang and it’s free.

Resnick reminded us of the importance of “honesty” in what we do. There are 1,200 companies today giving back to the environment. Patagonia, gives 1% of its sales back to keep our planet healthy.

I found another helpful suggestion on Lynda Resnick’s blog: “If you love your product, you have to learn to give it away.” I’ve heard that mentioned over and over again, including Jerry Simmons, who has over 30 years experience in the book publishing business.

So are you an inside the box, or an outside the box thinker, and why?

During my youth, I hated exercising. School kids called me “Bhudda Baby.” They made fun of my chubby stomach bouncing up and down as I attempted to jog. I cried when I got home from school and dreamed about one day climbing the rope, and running to the finish line, like all my peers. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I decided to change that.

In 1983, at age 25, I left Europe to start my new life in southern California. I finally plucked up the courage to step inside a gym. It seemed like everyone knew what they were doing except me. I tried an aerobics class but the California fit girls intimidated me.

The free weight room seemed equally foreign. I tried my best to blend in but had no clue. I left frustrated.

The first American guy I dated said, “You’re cute, but you’d be look better if you firmed up your body.” I dumped him and later met Duke, my husband. He showed me how to use weights, and after 26 years, we still work out together. I like to brag that my workout is more intense than his. We even take separate cars as I stay longer. If you ask Duke, he’ll say it’s because I like to talk to people. I do like to talk, but I need to rest between sets, so why not exercise my mouth too.

My husband took this photo of me when I was 47.

The other day, my son who’s back from college for a week asked me, “Mom, how old are you?”
“Fifty-two.”
“And how much can you bench?”
“135 pounds. Used to be 145, but I’m getting weaker with age.”
“You know the state record for your age is 88 pounds. You could beat that.”

He got me thinking. Lately, my workouts haven’t been focused or intense. I’ve been slacking off, even skipping days and saying to myself, “that’s OK, I’m getting older.”

Now Austin has motivated me to try harder by e-mailing some organization that “his mother can bench 135 pounds.”

I did some research and found this video of an 85-year-old woman bench pressing. If she can do it, so can I. My goal is to bench press until I die, just as I gave birth to my three sons at the gym–well almost–I plan on working out until my last day on our beautiful planet.

Perhaps I can promote my book while bench pressing–just a thought: another media gimmick.

When I turned 44, I sent in a video to become a contestant for the “Survivor” show on TV. In order to grab their attention, I bench pressed my youngest son. He was eight-years-old at the time. Another gimmick which, unfortunately, did not work.

I’d like to know if anyone has motivated you or if have you motivated someone else to do something? Whether a hobby, exercising, dieting, scuba diving, sky diving, etc.

Dolphins and sea grape trees remind me of Belize. You can eat the grapes.

I’m forcing myself to get back in the swing of life, when all I want is to recapture the peace and, “I don’t care a damn” attitude I had in Florida.

I know what you’re thinking. “Sonia, you were on vacation, everyone on vacation feels euphoric. There’s no stress, no obligations. You stroll along the beach, pick shells and wonder if you could string them together into a souvenir necklace, drink Mai Tai’s by the pool, and even your heart starts to smile.”

Sharing stories with people from other parts of the U.S. and the world, is like an energy boost. You learn that everyone strives for the same: a comfortable and safe life. No matter what our nationality, or where we live, we all want our kids to succeed and to know that we shall be able to take care of ourselves financially, today and in the future.

I cherish the times my sons interact with the youth from other states or countries. Jordan, 15, met two sisters from Holland, one 14, the other 16. Those girls spoke fluent English–most Europeans do–and as a mother, it was so refreshing to see young girls enthusiastic about their education and their careers. I often see a different picture in my Orange County, bubble.

I have a problem though. I fall in love with new places and become obsessed. It’s almost like falling in love with a person; I want to tell everyone. I think it’s due to my lack of ROOTS.

People and their stories fascinate me. I love to learn about different cultures, food and lifestyles, yet the more people I meet, the more I realize we all have the same fears. Even the nice couple we met from Holland stated what I’ve been thinking, “You never know if you or your loved one will get cancer, or end up in a wheelchair. You need to enjoy life today.”

Which is why I enjoy my new house in Naples. Just Kidding!

So I shall continue enjoying my life and dream about moving to Florida where there are islands inhabited by middle-aged writers and artists.

Places like Matlacha Island to the right.

Friendly, down-to-earth people.
Some famous authors live here, like Janet Evanovich on Sanibel Island and Randy Wayne White on Pine Island.
An abundance of great restaurants with the best seafood.

Sanibel Island, the sea shell capital of the world, even has a world famous sea-shell museum.

Just in case you didn’t know this, humidity makes your skin feel soft. Even Duke’s skin turned baby butt soft.

How long does it take you to get back in a routine after a vacation?