Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

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Should you give presents at this time of year?

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Pine tree from Flickr

In December last year, I wrote about my challenges of buying gifts for my husband. 

Now, only a week away from Christmas, I’d like to talk about the concept of buying Christmas presents.
With only five days left before Christmas, I have nothing to give my three sons, 23, 20 and 16. Clothes don’t interest them, or perhaps I should say, they don’t seem to appreciate clothes the way most women would.Whenever, I ask, “What would you like for Christmas?” they say, “Nothing.”

A few weeks ago, my oldest son mentioned a Kindle. He then ended up using his birthday money from Grandma, and bought his own.

My middle son ordered his own present on e-bay with money he’s been saving since Kindergarten, (yes, he’s great at saving money from Grandpa and Grandma since birth.)

My youngest son says he wants nothing more than for us to allow him to enlist in the Army and attend West Point.  (I’m not going to touch this subject right now.)

I know I should be grateful they don’t ask for presents, and part of me likes to believe that our year of frugal living in Belize shifted their attitudes towards acquiring less, however, this does bring out the “guilt factor” of having a tree with nothing underneath it.

Mega-blogger, in terms of having 200,000 subscribers, Leo Babauta has a blog post on, “The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents,”
When I read Leo’s comment, “I don’t love Christmas shopping, or the over consumption, frenzied malls, consumer debt, environmental waste, wasted time wrapping, and over-accumulation of needless stuff that goes with it,” I could relate. As Leo says, “Giving is great, but buying is not the solution.”
I sense a shift in the overall tone and message of the world economy. With a 14 trillion dollar debt in the U.S., people will have to keep working until they’re 69, before social security kicks in. I wonder how long before the population realizes we cannot keep living a “pretend” life of over-consumerism, and recognize the need to live more frugally, the way Leo Babauta, advocates.
So this Christmas I shall bake, cook, have parties, listen to my boys, give them hugs when they want them, and perhaps, if they’re lucky, knit a scarf they can use in the cold weather of Michigan, and New Mexico. I shall also buy a black T-shirt from a blogger I admire: Annabel Candy, “GetintheHotspot,” and some beautiful postcards based on the nature photography of my blogger friend LadyFi in Sweden. Finally I shall give a gift of sight to a child through the Fred Hollows Foundation.

What are you doing for your family, friends and the world this Christmas?

What’s wrong with simple pleasures in life?

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I recently had my annual check-up and was asked a standard question on the form: How much coffee do you drink?

 

“Three cups a day,” I wrote down.
The young female doctor scanned my answers and told me to cut back to one a day. “Three’s too much,” she said in a scolding tone.
I did what I always do when I disagree with someone. I tell them, “I’m from Europe,” as though that lets me off the hook.
I’m sorry, but there are some habits I enjoy, like my coffee before the gym, my coffee around 10 a.m. with a Danish cookie, and my coffee after lunch.
I refuse to change because statistics show one year that one cup of coffee is acceptable, but three is not. And the following year, caffeine is supposed to be good for you.
Simple pleasures like coffee or tea, should be enjoyed and not used to make you feel “bad” when you’re already doing everything you can to live a healthy life like: working out, eating fresh vegetables, fruit, lean protein and no fast food.
Now that I’ve been able to vent my frustration, time for me to grab my mid-morning Peet’s coffee. If you have not heard the story I wrote called: “My Italian Lover,” (trust me; it’s related,) you might enjoy a laugh.
What are your simple pleasures in life?

How to make a "someday" dream into reality. Chris Guillebeau talks in LA.

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Last Friday evening, one of my recent dreams became a reality: I met Chris Guillebeau. I arrived early and parked myself in a plastic chair, second to front row seat, inside a fun and funky bookstore called, Book Soup, in West Hollyood.
Bursting at the seams, a crowd of enthusiastic fans of all ages, including a young boy, (you can view photos taken by Dyana Valentine,) came to listen to him speak. There is a photo of Chris talking to me in the middle of all the pictures. You can’t miss my bright red sweater.
Chris talked about: how to live a remarkable life in a conventional world. He believes the two most important questions we need to ask ourselves are:
1). What do you really want to get out of life?
2). What can you offer the world that no one else can?
He mentioned a common theme that crops up when people e-mail him about taking action for something they want to do, or to change in their lives.“I worry I’m too late.”
Chris replies, “The best time to start was probably last year, but failing that, today will do.”
Unfortunately, I did not hook up with Jodi Sagorin, whom I wrote about last week.
I have many “someday” dreams that I plan to make into reality.  
What about you?
What dreams do you wish to make into reality?

Be a risk taker, make a Google connection

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 Jodi Sagorin author of blog
Have you ever Googled a topic that interests you and found someone online that you’d like to connect with?
Well, here’s what happened to me yesterday morning. I Googled “Gutsy People” since I’m intrigued by risk-takers, and nineteen-year-old Jodi Sagorin, and her blog, “If you never did, you should,”  popped up.
I was fascinated by this young woman and her passion for adventure, and risk-taking. Was she born with it? How did it develop? Did it come from her parents? And then I noticed an article in the Orange County newspaper, my local paper, “Irvine teen chooses India over prestigious University.” Jodi wanted to volunteer in India to empower women in poverty-stricken areas.
I sent Jodi an e-mail asking if I could interview her and if she was still in India. She wrote back, and she’s now in Orange County, only one town north of me, and is also a huge fan of Chris Guillebeau’s, “The Art on Non-Conformity.”
So why did Jodi start her blog?
“To show people that it’s possible to live a life of adventure. I traveled a lot with my parents as a child. My dad’s the gutsy one! He’s a skydiver, heli-boarder, surfer, snowboarder, skater, anything and everything.”

How did you become Gutsy? What influenced you? Is it something you’re born with or you develop?

I was definitely born gutsy and I have the battle scars to prove it. My parents had their hands full with me, constantly yanking me out of trees, out of huge surf, you name it. The nurses in the broken bones department in the ER knew me by name. Although my gutsiness is inherent, I’m a firm believer that anyone can be gutsy if they make the decision to be. If you’re not born with it, work on it. Challenge yourself. Get out there. Dive in. Jump off. Launch. It’s so worth it.
What motivates you in life?
Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to live a full life. Full of adventure and full of experiences. I’m always dreaming, goal-writing, scheming, and sparking. I think that’s what it’s all about. I guess my motivation is the fear of conformity and mediocrity.
What would you like your life to be like at 25, 35, 45?
Toughie! My answers are the same for each one: I want to be running a few businesses I love, traveling the world, jamming and collaborating with awesome people, jumping off things, dreaming, doing, and staying enthusiastic about life in general. I guess you can throw in an awesome guy and possibly some spawn of my own, too.
What would you tell someone who’s afraid of change?
Get over it. Embrace it. Live a little. We’re all a little scared of getting out of our comfort zone, but once you realize that change is progress, life gets a whole lot more interesting. Make the decision to be remarkable.
Who do you admire?
I admire a lot of people and have tons of people I consider heroes. The ones that come to the top of my head are: Seth Godin, Chris Guillebeau, Danielle Laporte, Lachlan Cotter, and Jonathan Mead.
Chris Guillebeau
So tomorrow evening, I shall meet both Jodi and Chris Guillebeau at his Unconventional Book Tour in Los Angeles
at Book Soup (8818 Sunset Blvd.), Friday night at 7pm — hope to see you there!
Do you have any stories to share about people you admire?

Do you believe in setting goals for yourself?

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Marathon Runners
“Whenever you take a step forward, you are bound to disturb something.” INDIRA GANDHI

December is a busy month with added pressures. It is also a time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished during the past year and your goals for the upcoming year. I have come across two interesting theories why it’s important to set goals, and why it really doesn’t matter. You decide.
1. Why you should set goals in your life.
Are you already disciplined and organized? Do you follow a set of goals like the ones below?
  • One-Year Goals: You review your list a few times a year, and have specific categories like fitness, writing, income, travel, family, etc.
  • Five-Year Goals: The “big things” you hope to accomplish, and review once a year.
  • Lifetime Goals: Your bucket list, everything you want to accomplish in your life. You also review this once a year. What memories do you want to have when it’s your time to say “goodbye?” What would you regret not accomplishing?
Chris Guillebeau admits that people who seem to get a lot accomplished, like he does, are not super disciplined but have been able to “create a structure around work” that allows for improvisation. Chris, my new hero, says he takes goals seriously and does work hard, but this is usually a result of him building a good structure to begin with.
2. Why you should not set goals in your life.
On the other hand, Leo Babauta, the author of the popular blog ZenHabits, takes a different approach. He completely changed his life a couple of years ago. At first he focused on goals. He was overweight, a smoker, sedentary, completely stressed and deeply in debt. Goals helped him change his life around and he was then able to run several marathons, get out of debt and start a very successful blog ZenHabits. Now Leo says, “I’ve pretty much given up on goals, though I’m still learning how that works.”
Listening to Leo Babauta talk on FitMarriage I was struck by his statement regarding letting go of goals, and getting away from goal setting. For example, instead of saying, “I shall lose twenty pounds,” Leo recommends focusing on the enjoyment right now, rather than on your future goal. “When you do it that way,” Leo says, “You’re not fixated on where it will get you.” He believes in starting as small as possible, even with exercise. Just five minutes, don’t think one hour.
Leo says, “We give (goals) a lot of credit for our accomplishments, but they didn’t do the work. They might have given us a direction, but in the end, the work is done on a daily basis.”
As Leo points out, “Even with goals, some people aren’t going to achieve anything, because they haven’t figured out how to motivate themselves. Goals don’t do that for you — they just make you feel guilty that you haven’t gotten them done.”
So my advice is to follow what Indira Ghandi said, take a step forward, preferably a Gutsy one. After all, who wants to stand in one place?
Are you a goal setter? If so what’s your style? Any tips are welcome to help us get moving.

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