Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

Time to be Honest…I’m Fed Up

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I have to be honest with my readers and let them know what I think about writing, social media, and publishing.

You may not agree with me, but that’s OK since I’m shifting gears and direction. I just hope you keep reading my blog, especially as I’m starting a mid-life gap year, jam-packed with new adventures. I’m going against blogging protocol, and writing when I want to, rather than when I have to. Besides, I’ve never been incarcerated by the blogging police.

 

I’m Fed Up

  • I don’t have time to read blogs and write comments.
  • I want time to read what I want to read, and not feel “guilty” or “forced to read” books that don’t interest me.
  • I’m fed-up with reading books and writing reviews, especially if I’m not interested in the book.
  • How many times can I write about the same topic, and still make it sound fresh?
  • Writers keep supporting writers, but “Where are OUR READERS?” (Please don’t lecture me on signing up for another course for $999, that guarantees I’ll find new readers.)
  • I’m tired of being bombarded with sales pitches from people I respect in the industry who are now becoming “used car salesmen.”
  • I’m fed up with receiving offers to sign up for courses on “how to increase my book sales” when I’ve become cynical about this process (Read Do You Want the Truth below)  or another honest post I wrote. “Do Authors Make Money: Here’s the Truth.”
  • I’ve done my best to follow all the rules writers keep hearing about regarding blogging, social media and marketing from the “gurus.”
  • I’m tired of coming up with the perfect SEO friendly headline for my blog post. Now titles are supposed to appeal to readers first. What a concept!
  • I’m fed up with requesting people to submit a “My Gutsy Story®” each week. I don’t like begging or bugging.
  • I missed my 1st blog post in 7 years last Thursday. Will I be forgiven by Google, search engines, and more importantly, by my “billions” of fans? 🙂
  • I’ve promoted so many book events, library events, indie book signings, Costco appearances, Webinars, Workshops, public speaking, radio, local TV, given freebies, reviews, contacted movie producers etc…BUT…

Do You Want the Truth

Most authors, especially non-fiction authors, who want to make money, turn towards writing, coaching, presenting, and selling books about “The Dream.” 

They sell books on:

  • How to write
  • How to market and promote your book
  • How to become a best selling author by following these steps.

They also take classes, hire a business coach, team up with their peers, start promoting one other, offer free webinars laden with sales pitches to sign-up for their “expensive workshops,” to sell “The Dream.”  How do I know?  Because I did that myself. 

 

Selling the Dream

Here’s what I call, “Selling The Dream.” All the promises and offers that “fall” into my inbox daily. For example:

  • “In less than a year I’ve made over $150,000 from self-published books.”
  • Sign-up for my 6-week course on how to make it to the Bestseller list for only $999
  • Pitch your book to producers from “Good Morning America,” and other major TV producers for only $5,000.

Are Today’s Online Strategies Changing?

I believe things have changed.  There is TOO MUCH COMPETITION and too many people offering the same services. The market is saturated with indie books. There were over 450,000 indie published books in 2013.

Authors are getting fed up with blogging, overwhelmed with social media, and most ask themselves WHY? I’m making less than $100/month in royalties. Is it worth it? (Please don’t lecture me on signing up for another course for $999, that guarantees I’ll make $150,000 in one year. Maybe you’ll make that much with all of us DREAMERS signing up for your course, but not us: the writers.)

My Conclusion

Write with no expectations. Do what you want, take classes to improve your writing skills, sign-up for Webinars if you’d like to, but be realistic. I’ve tried many different approaches since 2009, and I don’t want to sell “The Dream.” I  am happy, because I believe “The Dream” is not about money. 

 

 What Next?

I hope you keep reading my blog, as I embark on a divorced woman’s mid-life gap year, jam-packed with new adventures. My focus will be on:

  • Gutsy Living®
  • Exciting opportunities for women
  • What’s it like to be a divorced woman after 28-years of marriage
  • Re-inventing yourself as a woman over 55
  • Travel in Europe and anywhere else I go
  • Learning new skills
  • Teaching abroad
  • How to save money
  • Gutsy dating

Any suggestions as to other topics you’d like me to write about during my GAP YEAR(s)

Comments

  3. Java Davis says

    I HEAR YOU!! I’m so glad that I never sought the elusive dream, and just work to please myself. I will be fascinated by your journeys, and feel free to post on theroadtripwriter.com. Have an awesome time!
    Java Davis recently posted..Airports, UghMy Profile

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  4. Kathleen Pooler says

    Sonia, your truth resonates. The most important part of this message is your honesty in assessing what is working and not working for you. I love how you share from your heart . And you have a plan that aligns with your passions and the new directions you are taking. Brava, my friend and God’s speed as you embark on your next, new gusty adventure! Follow your bliss and your followers will continue to line up to hear from you. 🙂
    Kathleen Pooler recently posted..Why Simplify is My Go-To Word for 2015: Lessons From 2014My Profile

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  5. Clara says

    Agreed! When you pass the 50 mark, so much of what you’re doing or continue to do for others for a long period of time, can become boring and taxing. But when you know what you’re truly passionate about, your mindset will be centered on being and reawakening to your truth perspective…
    Keep shining in whatever genre/career/ areas of expertise that bring you renewed and continued joy!
    Clara recently posted..Inspirational Quotes In Honor of Martin Luther King Jr.My Profile

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  6. Elaine J. Masters says

    Dear Sonia, So much of what you said resonates deeply. I’m so glad I got off the self-publishing promotional merry go round. Your coming journeys and transitions will resonate with a far larger audience than just the writers. It’s about that passion for living that you embody – no matter what you do. I so look forward to hearing about the next chapter in whatever medium you choose. It’s your life.
    Elaine J. Masters recently posted..Zipline adventures in Maui’s UpcountryMy Profile

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  7. Marlena Baraf says

    Sonia, I love you. Have fun. Forget about the social network life for a long while. Reconnect with your heart!

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  8. Dorit Sasson says

    Tis the truth! If Sonia is fed-up then she’s got a good reason and we should all be aware and really listen to what she’s got to say! The market indeed is extremely saturated and this scares me because a well-written and edited book might be super-swallowed by all the other stuff out there. The emphasis out there is on making money, superficially that is pulling us writers in another direction and filling us up with anxiety, greed and insecurity. If we’ve written to the best of our ability, found a great editor to craft our words, aligned ourselves with courage, and slowly built our platform, we should all be successful in detaching from outcomes. The real question all writers including myself should aspire to define… “What is success for me?” Writing for the sake of writing should be a driving force. I don’t know many people who wake up in the morning and say to themselves, “Hmmm… how can I be a bestseller?”
    Dorit Sasson recently posted..A Writing Tip: How Decluttering HelpsMy Profile

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    • Sonia Marsh says

      Dorit,

      I’ve met several writers who think their books will make the bestseller list. I think it’s sad, especially if the book is poorly written and hasn’t been edited. I agree that “success” means different things to each writer, however, most of us hope that our books will have a nice audience of readers, even when it’s not about making sales.
      Sonia Marsh recently posted..Time to be Honest…I’m Fed UpMy Profile

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  9. Sylvia McDonald says

    Very interesting conclusion and a good new year’s resolution. Very “gutsy” of you to be so honest.

    Reply

  11. Cheryl says

    Sonia
    Amen! The rat race to make any money becomes suffocating. The day I pulled down my web site was bitter sweet but liberating. I’ve sold all but a few remaining copies of my book and am now relaxing. And the best part? My writing is better. Enjoy the gap years…I hope you finding them as peaceful and joyful as I did. Don’t rush into the dating…egads, the worst part of the whole becoming single part for me. Enjoy your friends and yourself for awhile. Safe travels

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  12. Penelope James says

    Thanks for making this statement. Time to face reality. If after seven years of intense work you’re fed up, and you give good reasons for this, it’s time to move on. As for the rest of us, it’s a decision that each one has to make. What is more important? Writing a book for the love of it with few expectations or hoping to be that one in thousands who stands out?

    I’m sorry I didn’t get on the bandwagon in time to make a dent and nowadays whatever I publish will get lost in the forest of competition. But you know what? I don’t give a damn! I’m going to write and publish my books because I want to and for the few people who want to read them.
    Penelope James recently posted..WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YESTERDAY’S HOME WAS A MANSION AND NOW IT’S ONE ROOM?My Profile

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    • Sonia Marsh says

      Pennie,

      You have the right attitude. As long as you write for the love of writing, you’re on the right track. I see all these 30-somethings working in “groups” to get known, and for many, it seems to be working. I shall be in La Jolla once a month, so we can still chat in person.
      Sonia Marsh recently posted..Time to be Honest…I’m Fed UpMy Profile

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  13. Melissa Adams says

    Sonia, I’ve wanted to say this for a long time: YOU are a big reason I chose NOT to publish my memoir, which I wrote in an authors program that taught me all about publishing, creating an author platform and marketing books. You were a poster child for everything I learned, and it was inevitable you burned out. You dove into everything with bluster and gusto, in the same manic way you wrote your book in the NB library. Great discipline, but it turned you into a marketing/promotion machine, albeit a successful one.

    Since I graduated from UCLA with a degree in English in 1973, I’ve been a professional writer. Even though I’m technically “retired,” I’m still paid and sought out as such. I didn’t want what happened to you to happen to me. Yet it went with the territory of writing a book. Writing a book was therapeutic, as writing always is for me, but instead of publishing and marketing mine, I chose to blog and write about something I’m passionate about (the same topic as my unpublished memoir): my adopted city. Unlike you, I don’t need to depend on income from this, so I have some freedom and can be relaxed about posting. After 2+ years, I still feel I can make the same topic fresh. I’m a writer, not a marketer or promoter, and I want it to stay that way.

    In a way, your success and awards seemed to go to your head…even the way you wrote to me about getting together on your recent visit (“I’ll contact you if I have time…” WTF!, then expected me to drop everything to meet you at the Old Nickel) smacked of getting too big for your britches to me. Had you asked, I would have gladly hosted you + your son, provided you with more space than you had at that RLD hostel, and shown you an informed local’s perspective of Amsterdam. But you didn’t.

    I applaud you for taking life by the horns and wish you well in your next life chapter, but suggest you guard against projecting a sense of self-importance. This may have shone through in your Peace Corps application, but I’m sure you’ll get in eventually given your focus and persistence.

    Your post is indeed the truth, and it was only a matter of time until you got fed up with everything that goes with publishing a book, maintaining a platform and blogging per “established” protocol. Hope to see you this spring and trust you’ll take my comments as constructive. Sending good vibes your way now!
    Melissa Adams recently posted..A City for All Seasons: When to Visit AmsterdamMy Profile

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    • Sonia Marsh says

      Melissa,

      I am always open to “honesty,” as I was born and raised in Europe, and that’s what I love about the Danes, as well as the Dutch.
      I had no idea that I influenced your decision about publishing a memoir.

      I wish I hadn’t booked the youth hostel, The Old Nickel Hotel, (I think I got ripped off as it was way too expensive) but I did everything to “please” my 20-year-old son. He said he wanted to meet other young people, so I thought that would work better for him. I reconnected with a childhood friend, Ubit, whom I went to school with in England. She works at a jazz studio in Amsterdam and we had fun catching up. Sorry it didn’t work out to meet, and it certainly wasn’t my intention to come across as “too important or whatever.” That’s not me. Hope we meet again in Europe.
      Sonia Marsh recently posted..Time to be Honest…I’m Fed UpMy Profile

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  14. Miss Footloose says

    Sonia, your post clearly resonates with lots of writers, and I applaud you for being so honest about this cut-throat business of self-publishing. You have given it your all, and now it is time to move on to new, gutsy adventures. You have what it takes, so I am sure you will be successful! I look forward to your posts! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
    Miss Footloose recently posted..Expat Adventure: Somewhere SurprisingMy Profile

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  15. Alana Woods says

    Sonia, what you say is what most of us believe but haven’t voiced. Good on you for bowing out of the merry-go-round. I’ve quartered the time I spend on social media, blogs, reading and reviewing and am appreciating the time I’ve recovered for myself.

    Reply

  16. Bob Lowry says

    Once someone becomes “visible” on the social media radar the pitches, suggestions, and offers become non-stop. As you explain, virtually all of it is useless and self-serving, expensive, and not likely to work.

    Good for you, Sonia. Step back and live instead of feeling the need to just chronicle it. Blogging should stop when it is no longer, fun, fulfilling, and feeds a creative need. I will be interested to follow your journey on a (non) regular basis.

    BTW, I have gotten rather good at skimming a book for review instead of feeling I must read all 2-300 pages!
    Bob Lowry recently posted..Comtemplating Lifestyle Changes: Part TwoMy Profile

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  17. Angela Ackerman says

    Sonia, follow your own path and you will always be satisfied. 🙂 You are such a strong, remarkable woman, and should never be force-fit into a shape that constrains, wastes your time or makes you question why you are doing what you’re doing.

    I think this new direction for you is great, and honestly, aligns so much better with who you are! I am very excited for you! 🙂

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  18. Adam says

    “The Dream” is not about money. Totally agree. If more writers genuinely shared this belief, I think you’d elimate a large quantity of the utter junk that saturates the self-publishing market. Good luck on your next endeavours, wherever they take you!

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  19. DLWhite says

    This is so refreshing to read. I was just thinking this morning that this Indie author gig is much like the blogging boom. Remember when not everyone could have a blog? You had to get space at a magazine or a website. You couldn’t just put one up. THen a few years later it was less novel to have a blog… everyone had one!

    Just a few years ago, publishing yourself was practically the mark of the beast. “Noooooooo don’t do thaaaaaaaat! No one will read it!” Now, everyone’s an author, everyone has a book out, anyone can publish a book.

    Can anyone publish a GOOD book though? Can anyone write captivating prose and evoke a setting and bring joy or sorrow to the page? That’s where the magic is and that is what matters.

    “The Dream” is one of those things that I think happened in the initial self publishing boom. These days, I think you have to hit a well worn niche or market yourself to DEATH to get any hint of that. So strip it down to what matters and what you enjoy.

    I don’t think I’ll be able to retire off of my writing and that’s okay. My ‘Dream’ is to write good books that people want to read.
    DLWhite recently posted..[Review] Disarming Detective By Elizabeth HeiterMy Profile

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  20. Dody says

    Can you hear me clapping, Sonia? I got home from my GED class, opened my mail, read your post, and laughed as a breath of fresh air swooped into my brain! Every time I saw a FB post or tapped into your GR site, I’d shake my head and say aloud, “How does she do it?” I loved your memoir (as you know), have admired the force within you, and am now admire you even more for these new, gutsy decisions. GO GUTSY LADY! Lots of hugs, Sonia. xxx BTW: I’m not sure where I’m going, but I know I’m on the way, enjoying the ride.
    Dody recently posted..Indie author kindness: OPERATION MALLORYMy Profile

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  21. Barbara Hammond says

    Sonia, I’m so glad we’ve met, and I love the journey we’ve been on since Annabel’s blog brought us together years ago.
    I’ve watched you and been awed by your tenacity and generosity. You have helped many, and some of us were helped by seeing your constant work ethic and non-stop energy and saying, “I don’t have that in me, but I truly admire this woman!”
    I’ve basically written a book on my blog, and now I’m going to add to it, keep the saga going, and work on getting an agent. I’ve never been good at self promotion. I know I could never do what you’ve done. I am constantly amazed by you, but I know it’s not in me.
    I have a feeling your next memoir will go viral! No one I know lives as determined as you. My hope for you is, ENJOY the next phase of your life. If it’s not fun and pleasurable…fuck it!
    Love you!
    b
    Barbara Hammond recently posted..Childhood Diseases, and a Return to Georgia on My MindMy Profile

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  22. Jon Magidsohn says

    Well said and well done for saying it. Those of us in the arts like to think that our creativity alone will guide us through the quagmire of expression, funding and finding an audience. But like most industries, we are now handcuffed by the capitalistic policemen who dictate how and why.

    The good thing about all this technology is that we writers have the option to self-publish and reach at least a small audience. The bad part about it is …….. everything you said.

    I wish there was another way.

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  23. Flora Morris Brown says

    Hi Sonia,

    Congratulations on reaching this critical point in your journey. When you authentically share the twists and turns of your experience, it’s so-o-o healthy to reach this point of feeling fed up. You may be fed up, but you never give up! I celebrate you for that.

    In my experience, it takes about 10 years to become an overnight success by the world’s standards. In the meantime, successful people do exactly what you’re doing: following your dream of being a gutsy woman on your own terms. And look what else you’re doing: you’re encouraging, inspiring and empowering other women in transition. Yay!

    Thank you.
    Flora Morris Brown recently posted..Celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service Year-RoundMy Profile

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  24. Shirley Hershey Showalter says

    Sonia,

    I’ve always admired your gutsy honesty, and every time you write, you both speak for others and help others examine whether and how they feel the same way. Then the comments become a place of further self-examination and genuine engagement.

    So much of online enterprise depends on the hidden economics. You nailed it when you said there are many selling the dream instead of genuinely wanting to help writers and readers. I think you’ll really resonate with the description of the conference for self-help writers in this Fresh Air interview.http://www.npr.org/2014/01/22/264878772/skeptic-takes-a-tour-of-self-helps-promise-land

    I’ve always been amazed by your energy and style and can’t wait to keep following you as you continue in the same honest courage you exhibit here.
    Shirley Hershey Showalter recently posted..A Week in Sarasota: The Bittersweet Disruption of CarsMy Profile

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  27. Sherrey Meyer says

    Sonia, dear friend, you have spoken honestly and no doubt you echo the feelings of many of us. You just have the guts to speak it forcifully and with commitment.

    I read your plans and I see you committing to them and enjoying life as you transition. In each life, change comes along and we must go in search of our new normal. For each of us, that new normal is different from what others may know about us, but it isn’t for others that we go seeking. It is for ourselves. I admire your tenacity and courage in speaking out and laying out your transitional plans.

    Like Penelope James above, I had a conversation with my husband the other day in which I said, “You know I love writing, and I don’t really care what I’m writing as long as I’m writing. If I finish my memoir, I’m not overly concerned with whether it is published or not. And if it is published, it will be self-published simply to have a copy of my own or for whatever family and friends my want a copy. But if I decide to write only a blog of my life in retirement, so be it. Or perhaps I’ll just review books until I can no longer see because of failing eyesight. But, honey, I just wanted you to know when I’m writing in my studio and your designing in yours, I’m exquisitely happy.” And that’s what I intend to do–what I want to do. You have set me free this evening for not worrying about dates, deadlines, or how many posts I have to write in a year and then study the analytics, etc. WOW! I feel good!
    Sherrey Meyer recently posted..Once the Storm Is Over: From Grieving to Healing After the Suicide of My Daughter by Nina BinghamMy Profile

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  28. Sonia Marsh says

    Sherrey,

    Thanks for sharing your views, and I agree that we all have different goals. This post was more for those who wish to sell their books, and I keep hearing newbie authors say, “I hope I can become a bestseller.”

    You have worked hard to share great posts and help other writers. I look forward to reading your memoir if/ and when you’re ready to publish.
    Sonia Marsh recently posted..Time to be Honest…I’m Fed UpMy Profile

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  29. DeAnna Cameron says

    Sonia, I absolutely love your line, “Write with no expectations.” I think this is so important for writers. We can get lost in the drive to publish and to sell and to be recognized in one way or another that we forget why we started writing in the first place: for the simple joy of it. I tip my hat to you and this inspirational post.
    DeAnna Cameron recently posted..Read2RescueMy Profile

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  30. Paige Adams Strickland says

    Thank you, Sonia for speaking up and out. This is real! Writing is art. The best art is not driven by dollar signs but by the needs to share a message, share pride and support like-minded people. Take care, and I am looking forward to hearing / reading more from you! P.

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  32. Viga Boland says

    Great post Sonia and I hear you on all counts. I’ve put out 2 memoirs and am about to release my third. I’ve enjoyed the writing and the initial rush on my books but all the other stuff that comes with it, the begging for reviews, subscribers to my blog, the guilt over not posting to my blog regularly ( i have 4 of them on different subjects!) and the incessant barrage of buy this, buy that book that will turn me into a top seller overnight is painful. I’m glad you’re going to do what’s right for you. As a top swimmer once told my daughter, when you’re no longer enjoying it, it’s time to stop. Enjoy your travels. I bet you’ll have a million blog posts to share during or when you return.
    Viga Boland recently posted..WHAT I FORGOT TO TELL MY READERS ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELFMy Profile

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