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How do you approach big decisions in your life?

February 22, 2010 by Sonia Marsh

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(I woke up Sunday morning to a wonderful surprise. Please read below. Philip Nicolaides and his travel blog.)

I found an interesting question on the OWN Oprah Winfrey Network, “How do you approach big decisions in your life?” and gave it some thought.

Bead embroidery - an experiment using mosaic tesserae for cabs. Pictures, Images and Photos
Image from Mcorchnoy on Photobucket.

Every important decision in my life I owe to paying attention to that “go for it” inner gut feeling. Not only do I listen to that inner voice, but I seek out opportunities. Life is one giant experiment and when I make an important decision, I tell myself:, “this is just another experiment.” That way, I do not fear my decision. I just go for it. I’ve applied this “experimental” outlook on life, to many important decisions, including finding a husband.

When it was time to stop dating and settle down, I became proactive. I took a class–yes a class on–How to Meet the Right Person for You. I can’t believe I paid a teacher to explain how I should go about meeting a guy.

In a classroom full of women over fifty, stood one single man: the teacher. He invited me for a coffee when the class ended. At the time, I was twenty-eight and thought he felt sorry for me. At Denny’s coffee shop, I pulled out my notepad and pen ready for some serious tips on how to find that special man.

After following the only piece of useful information I received in class: buy a Singles magazine–these were the days before before Internet dating–I circled five ads, and treated the process of mate searching as an experiment. Like most women, I like to talk, and listen, so I knew this would be a fun interview date. If it worked, it worked, if not, I’d move on to plan B: a new experiment.

Duke was the first guy to call me after I mailed a letter responding to his ad. And no, it wasn’t love at first sight, but we did speak for hours on the phone before meeting. By then, I loved his voice, his intelligence, and believe it or not, the fact that he enjoyed swimming, and not skiing. I guess water, whether a pool or the ocean is, and always will be, a part of who I am.

Every decade or so, I fall in love with a new part of the world, and feel the urge to “experiment” living there. This time it’s Naples, Florida. I’m fortunate Duke is as crazy adventurous as me. So on February 11, 2010, (please note number 11, again, for those of you who know me well) we closed escrow on a small fixer home. Another magazine, Islands, prompted us to visit inexpensive properties off the west coast of Florida. They reminded us of Belize as far as climate, warm waters, and mangroves, but with modern conveniences. Although not an island, we found a house along a canal with a boat dock. It’s another stage of life, another experiment.

 “Life is one giant experiment.”
House in Naples with boat dock.

  Please share how you approach big decisions in your life? You might want to enter your response on OWN, and see it in print.

My blogger friend Philip Nicolaides, has an amazing travel blog, and he featured my photos from Laguna Beach, and other places, on his blog. I would urge you to contact him if you wish to learn about places around the world and share photos from where you live. He is a very generous man. In his words: “For me personally, blogging is not only a personal satisfaction but rather a mean to assist us to see things differently and connect with other people of similar ideas, beliefs and mentality.”

Thank you Philip. You really made a special collage of my blog photos, with some historical facts I didn’t know about.

Filed Under: People

Comments

  1. Lauri says

    February 22, 2010 at 10:08 am

    I love your new house- I'm a water lover too. For big decisions though, I'm a lister- pros and cons.

  2. Phivos Nicolaides says

    February 22, 2010 at 10:16 am

    I rather have to thank you dear Sonia for your friendship and contribution. I'm always at your disposal. Kind regards. Philip

  3. Debbie says

    February 22, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Thank you for visiting Heart Choices and leaving your kind comment.

    BTW, don't you just love Philip? Such a kind man and he loves travel. I love to read his blog and find place I want to visit one day.

    I approach big decisions with much prayer. I do my homework and ask lots of questions. But in the end, there's a knowing I cannot explain. I believe it's my faith.

    I used to live in Clearwater, FL for a number of years. I think you'll enjoy the green and the water in FL but I prefer California and especially Laguna Beach. However, my family lives in FL so I visit as often as I can.

    Have a great day Gutsy Writer!

    Debbie

  4. Crimey says

    February 22, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    I love Florida. I've been to Tampa, Miami, and Key West. Again, love Florida.

    How do I approach big decisions in my life?

    I tend to approach big decisions logically, meaning I weigh the pros and cons.

  5. Danyelle says

    February 22, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Great story! Made me think. 🙂

  6. LadyFi says

    February 22, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Oh – lucky you. Your new house looks delightful! When will you be moving?

    Love the collage of photos on the Travelling blog!

  7. Margie says

    February 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Hi Sonia
    I don't have time right now to leave a comment on this post as heading out to dinner with my son who is home for just a few hrs.
    Be back later.
    Thanks for your visit and nice comment!

    Margie 🙂

  8. Robert the Skeptic says

    February 22, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    I like to think that my wife and I approach most decisions rationally and objectively. But the fact is (and research has shown this to be true) emotions are a crucial component in making decisions.

    The trick is to come to the decision using a balance between emotion and objective fact. The best way we have found is to recognize the emotional component for what it is rather than let it drive us unconsciously. Once you recognize that you may be putting an emotional bias on a tough decision, you at lease have more confidence to proceed.

    There is a great book out about his process: "Paradox of Choice – Why More Is Less" by Barry Schwartz. The book helped me understand why my daughter has such a difficult time making almost any kind of decision.

  9. Jeanie says

    February 22, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    I make big decisions quickly and from the gut. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't, but there is always something to learn and new experiences to have along the way.

  10. Rayna M. Iyer says

    February 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    I think I am a lot like you when it comes to big decisions – I go by the gut to take the decision, and then do all I can to make sure the decision works out for the best.
    Sometimes it doesn't, in which case, I am willing to write off a wrong choice and get on with life.

  11. Margie says

    February 22, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Back again.
    I approach the big decisions in my life rather like you do Sonia, by listening to my inner voice.
    It's just something that has never let me down.

    Oh, your new house looks wonderful and I'm sure you will enjoy it.

    Margie 🙂

  12. John Atkinson says

    February 23, 2010 at 4:01 am

    Sonia, I act on my gut too, but I talk to family ghost for wisdom on major decisions. Works for me. Great post!
    http://www.atkinsontimekeeper.com/

  13. Nezzy says

    February 23, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Girl, ya took a class to learn how to date??? Hubby and I just looked at each other and we were gone!

    Congratulations on your big adventure. I'm with ya all the way, warm water always trumps snow!

    I face big decisions with my Hubby and on my knees. I tend to educate myself on the subject and talk to knowledgeable people.

    God bless and have the best day!!!

  14. Elana Johnson says

    February 24, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Hmmm, big decisions require a lot of time on my knees. That's usually how I figure things out. 🙂

  15. Donna B says

    February 26, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    Congrats on the move…(WHIP) I did not realize you were moving…(WHIP)
    How is the book coming?(WHIP)…
    How do I make important decisions?
    First a Pros and Cons list, analyzing, tune into my emotions and then go by my gut. We may be moving back to CA….(WHIP! WHIP!!)

  16. BLOGitse says

    February 27, 2010 at 5:50 am

    oh yes!
    We're moving too. To Morocco.
    Packing starts slowly next week and finally out of the country at end of the month (March).
    New adventures waiting!
    I couldn't live in one place all my life – I want to see and feel, be part of life – somewhere else. To have something to remember when I'm not able to travel any more…

    Have a great weekend!

    BLOGitse

  17. Anonymous says

    March 12, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Genial fill someone in on and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.

  18. Anonymous says

    March 19, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    i honestly love all your writing way, very useful.
    don't give up and keep writing simply because it just simply very well worth to read it,
    excited to look into much of your stories, cheers!

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