I discovered from all of your wonderful comments that we need to distinguish between two types of GOSSIP: GOOD GOSSIP and NASTY GOSSIP. Or as AspiringWriter said, “There’s always gossip in small communities – some healthy, some not so healthy.”
We don’t seem to mind the good kind. It’s the NASTY GOSSIP that we want to avoid and not participate in.
Please excuse me if your name isn’t linked, as I had to copy and paste each link with the before and after code, manually. My blogger link button was on strike today. I apologize if I didn’t place a link to your comment.
LadyFi commented
“I find it interesting that it was the ex-pats that liked gossiping in Belize… I would have thought that it would be the locals gossiping about you. Or did they do that too? ”
Your’re right. Everyone gossiped, expats and locals. I’ve had time to reflect on your comments, and perhaps GOSSIP isn’t the right word. You see, when I talk about friends and what they’re doing, it isn’t considered gossip here in California. Whereas if I did the same on Ambergris Caye, it might be twisted around and distorted into gossip later.
Brenda pointed this out clearly when she said, “Is it gossip? Or is it just a way of understanding our world?” She continues to point out another difference, “When I first moved to Latin America I found the gossip a little suffocating, but then I came to understand that it was not harmful, it was a necessary part of community living.”
Caroline also brings up the same valid point, ” I feel that there are different types of gossip. There’s the conversational gossip (which happens a lot in the village I come from in Norway) and then there’s nasty/catty gossip which I have witnessed a lot where I lived in SA. I guess many of us, including me, uses the term GOSSIP, as NASTY and CATTY, like Caroline said. Maybe that’s a mistake on my part.
Also Pearl believes that GOSSIP happens in small rural towns, which is the same as living on an island with a small population.
Miss Footloose said, “Gossip can be dangerous, of course, but I have been surprised that among the expat women I knew in Armenia and Ghana there was so little of it, at least not the nasty kind.” See there again, we’re talking about good vs. nasty gossip.
FRIDAY I HAVE A GUEST/AUTHOR BLOGGER. PLEASE COME VISIT.
Shoot, I missed that particular blog. But I will say this. I lived and ran a business in a very small town for a while, and I was astounded at the viscous gossip that flew around at such a rapid speed.
Hi Sonia,
What a good idea for a blog discussion – gossip. It is hard for me to know the difference sometimes between legitimate disucssion “about” someone and gossiping about someone. For me, the difference comes down to intent and consequence. Do we intend to diminish or hurt the person we are talking about? Is the consequence of our discussion that they are diminished or hurt, even if we didn’t intend for it to happen? It can still be gossip even if we are naive about the destruction our words can cause another.
I just posted an article on gosspip at http://warrenbaldwinbiblefountain.blogspot.com/2009/05/gossip.html.
Good discussion here, Sonia!
Great follow up Sonia. Gossip to me is malicious talk about other people. Talking about friends in a positive way that’s just talking. Love this one.
Take care
Liz
Interesting points! Good gossip is more like talking and discussing, whereas bad gossip is badmouthing people behind their backs…
Sorry I missed that one. Here’s what I would have said: I think that gossip is good for the soul, as long as what you are saying is something you would say in front of the person you are gossiping about. I don’t take pleasure in being mean about people behind their back, unless I would have the courage to say it to them (and normally I do.)
Gossip relaxes us. I guess the least harmful gossip, to our nearest and dearest, is that about celebrities. Look at athe magazines available. But in some ways it must harm them, who although distant are also human.
Gossip also helps establish friendships. Who can say when they have started a new job for example that they haven’t listened to the gossip about their new co-workers. Of course you shouldn’t judge the people you hear about – it’s only gossip. But when you listen to gossip you feel part of the group already.
There is my honest answer.
My dishonest answer would be: I never gossip, I never listen to gossip, I think it is bad. :-)))
I was traveling and had not visited your blog. Very interesting.
Hi, Thanks so much for stopping by my Pink blog recently! I’m just getting back on board with it, so I wanted to stop by and leave a note for you as well.
I enjoyed taking a look around and I especially enjoyed your festive music.
Come by and visit again soon! Cheerio! Brenda