Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

What is Panic-itis? I’m letting you in on my secret

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 Woman's Thoughts Pictures, Images and Photos

Lately, I’ve been suffering from a case of panic-itis. Now there are two ways I can handle this topic: 

  1. The Professional Way, “Five Simple Ways to Fight off Panic-itis,” or
  2. The Gutsy Way, “Say it like it is.”

Which one would you like to hear? Well, tough! Today you won’t get the professional way. My head feels like taking the easy route. 

So what’s going on? What are the symptoms of panic-itis?

  • A night with blog topics floating around my mind. Which one to pick? Thankfully one popped out.
  • 684 e-mails in my inbox. (Oops. I should perhaps not have revealed this, but don’t worry, I’ve taken care of all of them.)
  • Researching improvements I would like to make with my blog in the future.
  • Panic-itis over perfecting my final query letter to submit to agents. It has to be ready before my kids come home in two weeks.
  • A book proposal? How about a business and marketing plan? That’s easier for me to write.
  • Wondering how I can get 2,000 subscribers so I can impress a future agent and publisher. Now wouldn’t that be super. I’d be grateful if you would like to subscribe thus helping me promote GutsyWriter.
  • Panic-itis on how to use Twitter effectively. Great advice from GetintheHotSpot.

Now it’s time for the sun to come out and shine on Miss Footloose for being the featured success story on the Expat blogger website. Many of my blogger friends know her blog: Life in the Expat Lane. She is a brilliant writer and her stories always make me laugh.This is where I go when I want to get rid of my panic-itis.


What about you? Are you suffering from panic-itis?

Do you believe in setting goals for yourself?

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Marathon Runners
“Whenever you take a step forward, you are bound to disturb something.” INDIRA GANDHI

December is a busy month with added pressures. It is also a time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished during the past year and your goals for the upcoming year. I have come across two interesting theories why it’s important to set goals, and why it really doesn’t matter. You decide.
1. Why you should set goals in your life.
Are you already disciplined and organized? Do you follow a set of goals like the ones below?
  • One-Year Goals: You review your list a few times a year, and have specific categories like fitness, writing, income, travel, family, etc.
  • Five-Year Goals: The “big things” you hope to accomplish, and review once a year.
  • Lifetime Goals: Your bucket list, everything you want to accomplish in your life. You also review this once a year. What memories do you want to have when it’s your time to say “goodbye?” What would you regret not accomplishing?
Chris Guillebeau admits that people who seem to get a lot accomplished, like he does, are not super disciplined but have been able to “create a structure around work” that allows for improvisation. Chris, my new hero, says he takes goals seriously and does work hard, but this is usually a result of him building a good structure to begin with.
2. Why you should not set goals in your life.
On the other hand, Leo Babauta, the author of the popular blog ZenHabits, takes a different approach. He completely changed his life a couple of years ago. At first he focused on goals. He was overweight, a smoker, sedentary, completely stressed and deeply in debt. Goals helped him change his life around and he was then able to run several marathons, get out of debt and start a very successful blog ZenHabits. Now Leo says, “I’ve pretty much given up on goals, though I’m still learning how that works.”
Listening to Leo Babauta talk on FitMarriage I was struck by his statement regarding letting go of goals, and getting away from goal setting. For example, instead of saying, “I shall lose twenty pounds,” Leo recommends focusing on the enjoyment right now, rather than on your future goal. “When you do it that way,” Leo says, “You’re not fixated on where it will get you.” He believes in starting as small as possible, even with exercise. Just five minutes, don’t think one hour.
Leo says, “We give (goals) a lot of credit for our accomplishments, but they didn’t do the work. They might have given us a direction, but in the end, the work is done on a daily basis.”
As Leo points out, “Even with goals, some people aren’t going to achieve anything, because they haven’t figured out how to motivate themselves. Goals don’t do that for you — they just make you feel guilty that you haven’t gotten them done.”
So my advice is to follow what Indira Ghandi said, take a step forward, preferably a Gutsy one. After all, who wants to stand in one place?
Are you a goal setter? If so what’s your style? Any tips are welcome to help us get moving.

A Modern Thanksgiving

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 My youngest son Jordan, sixteen, returning from
There are many ways to express gratitude on Thanksgiving Day, however, what caught my eye, was Seth Godin’s definition of a Modern Thanksgiving.
“A modern Thanksgiving would celebrate two things:
  • The people in our lives who give us the support and love we need to make a difference, and…
  • The opportunity to build something bigger than ourselves, something worth contributing. The ability to make connections, to lend a hand, to invent and create.”
Peace Corps volunteers, Harvey and Patty Gagnon, are in their sixties and doing what Seth Godin said; they are building something bigger than themselves.
You’ll love what Harvey says at the end, “Forget the golf game, there’s always time for that when you’re 92.”

HAPPY MODERN THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND NEW CONNECTIONS.

LOVE FROM SONIA.

The five stages of online friendships

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When I first started blogging, I thought, “What has our society come too?”
We sit at our computers, “talk” to others and how sad is that? We should be doing things the good old-fashioned way:
Stage One: Visit/talk
Stage Two: Coffee
Stage Three: A glass of wine with cheese and crackers
Stage Four: Dinner invitation
Stage Five: Long-term friendship.
But isn’t this the same in our social networking world?
First you visit. If you like the person, and what they say, you might hang out and comment or have a coffee with them.
Your new friend comes to visit and has a coffee at your place and then a few more coffee sessions until you jump into the wine, cheese and crackers stage, where you open up a little more, expressing your thoughts. You learn more about your friend’s personality, their thoughts, and what’s important to them.
Finally your dinner invitation. This is when you start e-mailing friends you’ve met online, exchanging phone numbers so you can speak in person, and hear the sound of their voice. If you travel to their town or city, you’ll call and arrange to meet them in person. I’ve done this with some of my online friends. It’s all about adding the human connection to your online friendship, which further strengthens the bond of a true friendship. After all, we are still human and have a desire to see the real person. I believe in making long-term friends.
Just as in the “real” world, some relationships never make it past the visit or the coffee stage. Others, with time, can make it to the dinner and long-term friendship stage. Where are you on this beautiful journey of connecting with people?

How to become positive on a sh*?ty day

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You’re feeling sorry for yourself.
Your (fill in the part of your body) hurts, you’ve got a meeting you’re not looking forward to, you cheated on your diet, you had an argument with someone close to you, you’re looking for work, or perhaps, like me, you’ve got a deadline to meet and you’re stressing out whether you’ll finish on time.
So what better time than, now, to shift to a positive attitude. After all, “A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” Patricia Neal.
I know, it’s easier to feel bad and make excuses than to shift your thinking. I’m guilty of that too, however, wouldn’t it be nice to find that ray of sunshine, by making a small shift in the thoughts going through your mind?
How can I shift to a more positive attitude?

  1. Start by doing something small and simple: make a special cup of tea or hot chocolate with whipped cream Take your dog for a walk in a different place, so you see new surroundings. Listen to a song you love. Pull out an old book you haven’t read in a while, but remember enjoying. Call someone you’ve been meaning to, but haven’t allowed yourself to take the time to.  
  2. Help someone out: I have a friend who recently broke her leg, and I know she loves her cup of Peet’s coffee just as much as I do. I would bring her a cup over and spend fifteen minutes chatting with her, before we each had to get back to our writing.
  3. Read Inspiring stories: Feeling overwhelmed happens to all of us, and sometimes reading an inspiring story, like the one I read on Mary Jaksch’s blog GoodLife Zen: “How catastrophe can open a door to new life,” can help you change to a more positive outlook on life. Christopher Foster has his own blog: The Happy Seeker. Christopher shifted his outlook on life after losing a 36-year connection with his community, and the sudden death of his wife as they were returning from a Caribbean vacation to celebrate their 25-year wedding anniversary.
  4. Turn your list of negatives into positives: Make a list of all your negative thoughts and next to each one, turn it into a positive statement. So in my case, instead of saying, “I shall have a hard time getting my memoir published,” I write, “I can already see a bidding war going on between publishing houses who want my memoir.” 
  5. Learn and practice meditation: This is a skill many already follow, and others like myself, need to develop. I’m gradually learning to practice meditation as I realize the importance of becoming still. As Christopher Foster mentioned in his guest post: “I have come to realize also that this stillness I love is my own stillness. It doesn’t come from some strange, far-off place. It is my own stillness, and it has found me at last.”
  6. Start a blog: This is a great way to share with others and feel connected to a community. If you have friends who feel lonely, why don’t you encourage them to start writing and connecting with others. It’s never too late, and age is not an excuse either. Just look at Christopher Foster. He started his blog: The Happy Seeker, last May, and I know he is not in his 20’s, 40’s, 60’s …?
 Your thoughts are always welcome.

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