I’m taking Alec to UCSB, University of California, Santa Barbara tomorrow.
It’s his first day of college and being away from home.
I’ve already been through saying “Goodbye” once, when Steve left. Perhaps it will be easier this time.

I am grateful that their one year in Belize, following an Internet high school program, actually helped their grade point average, allowing both sons to be accepted in some great colleges.

Do you have any thoughts or experience with saying “goodbye” to your kids?

Poor Josh, 15, will feel like an only child.

Sorry I won’t be posting or visiting until I return on Sunday.

In the meantime, I wish all my blogger friends a wonderful weekend, filled with family, friends and love.

During my twenty-two years of marriage, raising three boys, I’ve heard the following two phrases, several times: “Get to the point,” and, “Your point is?”

With only one other female in my house–my dog–you can imagine my relief when a panel of four female published authors, spoke at the Ventura Book Festival, and confirmed that I was not alone.

“Men and women have different ways of thinking,” said Mara Purl, author of The Milford-Haven novels. She explained how this is reflected in fiction writing. Women’s fiction uses all five senses–Women want to know what the character was wearing, her perfume and the color and style of her hair.

Men’s fiction is all about velocity.

When women speak to one another, they want sensory details. Men want you to get to the point.

If I said, “She wore a pink dress with matching sandals,” my husband would say, “So what’s your point?” Perhaps I should try a different approach: “She owns a 27 foot lanchon with a 95 HP Honda engine on it.” That might get his attention.

Starshine Roshell, columnist and author of Keep Your Skirt On, has a weekly column which tackles topics from sex and politics to family and culture. She writes about women, and men say they learn about women from her columns. “I explain to men why women cry in certain situations, and why women care about flowers,” she said.

Thanks to this excellent panel of authors, I feel better knowing that I’m not the only one being told to get to the point. I must confess that years of brainwashing from the males in my house, now make me secretly say, “So what’s your point,” when some of my female friends ramble on.

What I’d like to know is if you’ve been told to get to the point? If so, by whom?

To my writer friends, do you agree with the differences in men’s fiction, versus female fiction?

One thing I love about my teenage sons is how they always find the funniest YouTube videos for me to watch. You have to see this parrot. I laughed so hard, tears were streaming down my face.

Take a look at Gutsy Parrot.

This would be the perfect pet when you don’t have the guts to tell someone to “shut up.”

Do you have any fun pet stories or videos to share?

Exhausted from a long day of volunteering at the Southern California Writers Association, and taking copious notes from Jerry Simmons’ excellent lecture, I drove home and was greeted by a sixteen foot metal arm, dividing my side of the garage, from my husband’s. At least the crane wasn’t blocking my spot, so I parked my car, walked into my air-conditioned house, and collapsed on the couch next to my husband.

“What’s the crane in our garage for?” I asked.

“I need you to be Vanna White and a Zombie,” my husband said.

“What?”

“I’m shooting a commercial to show how the crane works, and Jim agreed to let me film his Classic car.”

“You know I hate acting. Ask the neighbor’s daughter,” I said.

“She’s at work,” he said.

Duke always surprises me. An attorney by day, he dreams of a career in film, and spends most of his spare time either building cranes, writing scripts or discussing cameras on various forums.

When I left in the morning, I had no idea he planned on filming a car commercial later in the evening.

I tried to force my sons to do the commercial instead of me, but at 6′ 4″, I don’t think Austin would make a good, Vanna White.

Jordan convinced me to be brave and play the role.

“Mom, just move like Michael Jackson in Thriller,” he said.

Within the hour, I was standing on the street, neighbors watching, and cars slowing down, first pretending to show Classic car, then acting like a Zombie.

Enjoy the video, and YES, that is my voice, then Duke’s voice and YES, Duke made the crane from scratch and filmed and edited it himself.

Classic Cars of the Future Today! from Duke Marsh on Vimeo.

So have you done anything out of your comfort zone to help your husband or anyone else? I’d love to hear.

My three sons at Laguna Beach January 2009

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but I’ve always preferred it when they were in school, especially when they were younger.

For years and years, I’d hear other mothers say, “I’m so looking forward to the summer when we no longer have hectic schedules.” For some reason, I never agreed with them. Well that may not be surprising, since I tend to have different opinions about many things–perhaps living in different countries does that to a person.

You see, I have the guilt thing going during the summer. I’m fortunate that I don’t have to be in an office at a certain time, however, I force myself to stick to a writing schedule. I also stick to a gym schedule every morning at 6 a.m., as I want my husband and I to stay fit for our older years. Since I cannot sit in an office chair for most of the day, without knowing that the blood is flowing in my veins first, I have a disciplined schedule for myself, whether or not my kids are on vacation.

The guilt kicks in when I know my kids enjoy me taking them out to breakfast, or to shop, or for a coffee or tea and a chat. Yes, two out of three sons are still home with me, and they enjoy my company–at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I feel like I can go for 2-3 days max without taking them anywhere, and then I have to entertain them. Besides, Austin, my 18-year-old is off to UCSB, a gorgeous campus on the Pacific coast– see some photos here University of California in Santa Barbara at the end of July. I feel guilty if I don’t enjoy his company as much as possible before he leaves for four years of college.

As far as sports and friends, Jordan, 15, comes to the gym at 6 a.m. with me to run, and Austin jogs, plays tennis or kickball with his friends. The rest of the time they like to stay home, watch TV or sit in front of their computer.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you have guilt like me?

Should I just quit feeling guilty?