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“My Gutsy Story®” Bonnie Kassel

March 4, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 23 Comments

1-Bonnie-Kassel

“Crossing the Sahara”

The pool at the American Embassy in Khartoum was the only place to go to escape the heat. It was 137 degrees when we arrived. My friend Barbara and I were so eager to see the city, we decided to ignore the temperature and went out exploring. When we didn’t return for six hours, the staff at the embassy was worried. There was no shade anywhere and we’d crawled under an uncoupled train in the yards to get out of the sun and passed out. After that, we joined the crowd and sat at a table under an umbrella on the embassy patio for most of the day. They had cold lemonade and it was the gathering place of everyone who wasn’t Sudanese. If there was another pool anywhere in Khartoum, it was a well-guarded secret.

We were excited about the prospect of crossing the Sahara from Sudan to Ethiopia, but unprepared for the information we received. In order to get the necessary permit, the vehicle had to be four-wheel drive and we needed proof we were in a convoy of at least three. Our only preparations had been splurging for a Michelin map so detailed it showed every sand dune in the desert and the wide-track tires they had talked us into getting back at the auto factory in West Germany. We planned to buy a compass in the city, but I thought the store prices were outrageous and decided we could just follow the sun.

One afternoon, two tall men in dark sunglasses sat down at our table and without introductions, bluntly told us we should get out of Khartoum. Apparently a rumor was going around town about a “surprise” coup, and there was a great flurry of activity when we arrived at the transportation ministry to try to talk our way into getting a permit to cross the desert. We lied and said we were in a convoy, they threw some papers at us, we paid and left. No one even came outside to check our vehicle. So at five o’clock the next morning, after changing a rear tire that had gone flat, we left to cross the Sahara in our red Volkswagen. Without a spare.

Bonnie Kassel Crossroads
Crossroads. Photo credit check Bonnie Kassel’s website

Everyone should experience true desert once in their lives. It begins with no roads–just a myriad of tracks heading in all directions without a single structure for a landmark. Not one thing interrupts a completely empty horizon which makes navigating a challenge even if drivers have a good sense of direction, which Barbara and I did not. At first you playfully zigzag, such freedom to drive anywhere you want! And then the heat hits you and you stop fooling around. Travel is only for morning and late in the day. Midday we sat under an improvised blanket tarp fastened to the open car door. We had gallon containers of petrol, a trunk full of tinned food, and water that no matter what we tried, turned hot. Drinking hot water when you’re desperately thirsty keeps you alive, but not from longing for something cold.

But the nights; ah, the nights. When I was a child my parents bought me a globe at the Hayden Planetarium that they’d plug in my room and I’d fall asleep under a ceiling of constellations. It was like that. Without the sound of a bird, a leaf or branch to rustle, or the din of traffic in the distance, we experienced absolute silence for the first time in our lives. It didn’t seem we were still on planet Earth.

During my first crossing of the Atlantic on a French freighter, I loved to stand alone on the deck surrounded by nothing but the sea. You get the point quickly that we’re pretty small and much of what we spend our time doing is meaningless. The Sahara Desert of Sudan embodied this feeling. One leaves these places determined to spend more of your life doing what you love. Without having to live through some crisis, I’d learned at the age of twenty-four what really mattered to me.

When we saw five huge sand dunes on our left, we realized we were lost. The only similar sand dunes on our map were way west of where we should have been, so the “we’ll just follow the sun” plan wasn’t working very well. Barbara had seen a program on TV with tips on how to determine direction if you find yourself in a situation without any equipment. Looking for moss on a tree trunk wasn’t an option, so we tied a string to the eraser end of a pencil, planted the pencil point down in the sand, held the string taut, and indeed it cast a shadow. When I asked Barbara which direction was the shadow and she said she didn’t remember that part, we couldn’t stop laughing.

About two hours after turning and driving towards what we guessed was approximately east, we saw camel tracks in the sand and decided to follow them. No animal could survive alone, there had to be people. The two men were fabulous in their billowing indigo blue robes and white muslin head and face wrappings and they motioned for us to follow them. Back at their camp, women with jewelry-laden wrists would only peek from behind the tent opening. Before we left, the men crouched on the ground and drew pictures in the sand with their fingers to show us the way towards the Ethiopian border. As a departure gift they presented us with a tin of halvah; we gave them a large tin of canned peaches in return. They mounted their camels and through our rearview mirrors watched them running behind the car waving goodbye as we drove off. Today the thought might cross my mind that they could take all of our things, bury us and the car, and no one would ever know. But it never would have occurred to us then, and I know it never occurred to them either.

 Bonnie Kassel Bio:  I have been an artist and traveler all my life. Sketches I drew in Mayan jungle temples and Ethiopian Coptic churches remain a source of inspiration. The blazing saffron silks of India and copper markets of Turkey influenced my palette and led me to work in metal. Kitchens in Belgium, Morocco, and Syria changed the way I cooked. Most of the milestones in my life played out in other countries. Only when I was older did I realize how deeply I was marked by my travels and how everything I am and do grows from them.

Please check out Bonnie’s website, and like her Facebook Page

 Bonnie Kassel Book Cover

 

Sonia Marsh Says: I can visualize both of you, inexperienced drivers in the desert, giggling and being “gutsy” without truly realizing it at the time. In those days you simply viewed it as an adventure; today we would consider it dangerous. I love the realization that you came to Bonnie, in your twenties.

“You get the point quickly that we’re pretty small and much of what we spend our time doing is meaningless. The Sahara Desert of Sudan embodied this feeling.”

VOTE BADGE

February has 4 amazing “My Gutsy Story” submissions.

Please vote for your favorite story. You have until March 13th to vote, and the winner will be announced on March 14th.  Good luck to all your great stories.

SCROLL DOWN ON SIDEBAR (right underneath the Anthology Book Cover) TO VOTE. Only ONE vote each.

 MyGutsyStory

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®.” Please submit to sonia@soniamarsh.com.

You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Vote for your favorite February “My Gutsy Story®”

February 28, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

VOTE BADGE

This time I made a quick podcast.

Please listen and vote for your favorite “My Gutsy Story®”

February has 4 amazing “My Gutsy Story” submissions.

Please vote for your favorite story. You have until March 13th to vote, and the winner will be announced on March 14th.  Good luck to all your great stories.

SCROLL DOWN ON SIDEBAR (right underneath the Anthology Book Cover) TO VOTE. Only ONE vote each.

Our first story of the month is from Sandra Bornstein

Sandra Bornstein Cover -Munnar- stop on way to hill station
Sandra Bornstein

Our second Story is from Anne Loney 

Anne Loney
Anne Loney

Our third story is from Diane Danvers-Simmons

1-Diane Danvers Simmons Head shot-001
Diane Danvers-Simmons

Our fourth story is from Douglas Cooper

 

Douglas Cooper
Douglas Cooper

I’d like to share a photo of meeting some wonderful authors from the GIP (Gutsy Indie Publishers)  Facebook Group, which we’d love to have you join if you are a writer, indie author, indie publisher, or simply have questions about self-publishing.

Kas Sartori, Shelley Miller, Sonia Marsh, Elaine Masters Lois Joy Hofmann, Pennie James, Mary Gottschalk
Kas Sartori, Shelley Miller, Sonia Marsh, Elaine Masters Lois Joy Hofmann, Pennie James, Mary Gottschalk
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®.” Please submit to sonia@soniamarsh.com.

You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

“My Gutsy Story®” Douglas Cooper

February 25, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 10 Comments

Douglas Cooper
Douglas Winslow Cooper

 Together Forever…At Last

 Fear separated my beloved Tina and me in June 1964. Courage reunited us, in marriage, twenty years later.

Tina Han Su and I fell in love in February 1963 at Cornell University. I met her when she joined the half-dozen of us in the introductory Chinese class. Tina had started the class mid-academic-year because as you might guess from her name, she is Chinese-American and had already learned some of her parents’ native language at home. I was taking Chinese to fulfill my language requirement with something more interesting than the French and Latin I took in high school.

Tina and I enjoyed our Chinese class together six mornings a week, at 8 a.m. Often she and I then went for tea at the student union. I found her to be not only beautiful but intriguing, considerate, thoughtful, artistic…. She was a pre-med freshman and I was a junior majoring in physics. Each been “stars” in our small-town high schools, but each had to work hard to do well in this much more competitive Ivy League milieu.

Cornell was scenic and challenging, though a somewhat cold place. We provided our own warmth. We went hand-in-hand wherever and whenever we could…around campus, down to Ithaca and back, over the bridges across the gorges, sharing breakfast while looking at Beebe Lake, attending an occasional concert or lecture.

There were few Asian students on campus. Inter-racial couples were rare, but we experienced no hostility…at most an occasional stare. We had many mutual friends.

Apart that summer, we returned for my senior year, Tina’s sophomore year, knowing we might have only our three semesters at Cornell in which to be together. For my birthday in December 1963, she wrote:

Dearest Doug,

You asked me what I would think of these sixteen months a few years from now. My reply–now, after one year, after fifty years:

She then quoted much of John Donne’s, “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning,” one of my favorite poems, the poem that I later read to Tina at our wedding in June 1984.

In it, Donne likens the connection between separated lovers to a draftsman’s circle-drawing compass, its moving foot representing the lover who must travel away, while the central “fixed foot” always leans and “hearkens after it.” The poem ends, in our case prophetically,

“Thy firmness makes my circle just,

And makes me end where I begun.”

Why didn’t Tina and I get engaged, in 1964, or even get married?  In 1964 such marriages were much rarer than now. In the 1960s, some states still had laws against interracial marriage, “anti-miscegenation” statutes. We feared that our mixed-race children would not be accepted fully by many members of either race.

We were 20 and 21 years of age, too young to marry with confidence. A long engagement might have been feasible.

Both sets of parents were against our pairing, for reasons ranging from the practical to the ethnocentric.  Tina was an obedient Chinese daughter. I was less obedient, but I did value my parents’ greater experience. Our marrying would have caused much family dissension.

Tina's son
Tina’s son, Phil Chiang

If marriage to a successful Chinese professional who loved her would be better for Tina and eventually better for any children she would have, it seemed selfish of me to stand in the way. Tina felt the same about me and my best interests.

I had been Tina’s first love. We parted in June 1964, still in love, but afraid to marry.

Where’s the “gutsy” part of our story? By February 1983, nineteen years after we parted, I had been married and divorced, engaged and disengaged. I had reason to believe that Tina’s marriage of fifteen years to a university professor of Chinese extraction had not been going well. Passing through Chicago, where they lived, I called Tina. I had to know whether she still felt for me the love I still felt for her. “Nothing has changed for me in twenty years,” she replied.

We were ecstatic. We communicated by telephone and mail. Soon, Tina told me she was afflicted with multiple sclerosis, though her symptoms were then minimal. I read about MS and was shocked: there was a substantial probability that she would become quadriplegic and ventilator-dependent. My poor, dear Tina! I spent a sleepless night considering whether I could handle such an outcome, decided I could, determined I would, and the next day by telephone, not having seen her in sixteen years I asked Tina to marry me, and she accepted.

Gutsy?  “Love casteth out fear.”

When we met a month later, we were both delighted with the person each had become, both glad we had made our commitment.

Doug Cooper wedding
Wedding with Prof. and Mrs. G. J. Su, Tina’s parents, Doug and Tina, Mrs. P.T. Cooper, Doug’s mother.

We married in June 1984, twenty years after having parted. Our wedding rings were inscribed, “A dream come true.”  Even our parents now approved. Tina’s father’s wedding toast was: “Love conquers all.”

We have had twenty-eight wonderful years of love-filled marriage. The mixed-race aspect has not caused significant trouble. Step-parenting has gone very well.

Health? For the first decade, Tina could walk slowly, drive adequately, enjoy life fully. Then, in 1994, breast cancer struck, treated successfully with a mastectomy and some chemotherapy. Later that year, MS finally took away Tina’s ability to walk. With some help, I cared for her at home.

Doug his wife, Tina and his stepson
Doug his wife, Tina and his stepson

Twenty years into our marriage, in 2004, Tina nearly died from an MS exacerbation that led to a raging systemic infection. After 100 days in the critical care unit of our local hospital, Tina was dangerously weak, quadriplegic, permanently dependent on a ventilator, not expected to live more than a few months, and given the choice of “home or hospice.”

We chose home, with around-the-clock skilled nursing care, and we have had the gift so far of eight additional very happy years.

Engraved on the gold heart charm I gave Tina for her bracelet in celebration of our 25th  wedding anniversary is our motto: “Together forever!”

We have never regretted our “gutsy” choice, to pledge to marry…sight unseen.

 ***

Douglas Winslow Cooper Bio: Douglas Winslow Cooper is a freelance writer and retired physicist, currently helping to manage round-the-clock care of his wife, Tina, who has multiple sclerosis and is quadriplegic. Cooper earned his A.B. and M.S. degrees in physics from Cornell and Penn State and a Ph.D. in engineering from Harvard. He served at the U.S. Army biological warfare labs at Ft. Detrick, MD. An idealistic, rational optimist, he has been active in politics, and his professional life centered on environmental issues. He served as Assistant and then Associate Professor of Environmental Physics at the Harvard School of Public Health and was Research Staff Member at IBM‘s Yorktown Heights, NY, Watson Research Center. Dr. Cooper was elected Fellow of the Institute of Environmental Sciences. Semi-retired, he enjoys reading, walking his dog, listening to music and writing. In 2012 he completed his first book, Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage, and Devotion, now available in ebook or paperback from amazon.com, outskirtspress.com, or through his web site:  tingandi.com.

Douglas Book Cover

Dr. Cooper recently  established a business as a writing partner for those who wish to publish. With his co-author Marie Elizabeth Foglia, he published in 2012 the memoir Ava Gardner’s Daughter?  and with co-author Lenny Golino the memoir The Shield of Gold, both also available from outskirtspress.com, bn.com,  and amazon.com.

You can follow Doug on Twitter @douglaswcooper, and view his blog . Doug has a writing partner site.

Tina has her own blog,  and if you wish to find out more about their memoir, please click here.

Sonia Marsh Says: Yours is a real-life “fairy tale” of everlasting love against all odds. In today’s society where divorce is as common as marriage, nothing can come between the love you have for one another.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

VOTING for your favorite February 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” starts on February 28th, and ends on March 13th. The winner will be announced on March 14th. We have a two new sponsors, Carolyn Howard-Johson, who is offering her e-book as a prize: The Frugal Editor, and Angela Ackerman offering a copy of The Emotion Thesaurus.

Please check out the following January “My Gutsy Story®”

  • Sandra Bornstein
  • Anne Loney
  • Diane Danvers-Simmons

 

How do I get book signings?

February 21, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 33 Comments

 

Cahucer's
Chaucer’s Books, Santa Barbara, California

How do I get book signings?

Please don’t laugh; my answer might shock you.

You have two options:

  • You pick up the phone
  • You drive to the book store

I know this sounds simplistic, but believe me, once you’ve tried, it’s quite easy.

  • The secret is to be confident and come across as a pro.

Here’s how I do it. I start off with a small intro, and brag a little.

“Hello, my name is Sonia Marsh, and I’m a local author. I was interviewed on the front page of the OC Register, and my memoir was mentioned as a “hot read” in OC Metro. Who do I speak to regarding a book signing at your store?”

  • I never tell them I’m indie-published, and they never ask.

Depending on the response, I either e-mail the person in charge, or set a date to drop off some books and sign the consignment form.

My e-mail consists of a similar introduction, short synopsis of my book with links to my press kit+videos,  reviews, and a short bio.

Whenever I have time, I stop at indie bookstores  and introduce myself. I ask for the manager, and compliment them on their store and ask if they would like to keep some copies of my book on consignment. So far, I’ve had no problems leaving copies at various book stores in California, and booking events.

Barnes and Noble, stores are more difficult to get into, unless you started your own publishing company and can therefore offer them the 55% discount rate they “expect” and make the books returnable. This I did thanks to  Linda Austin, and the advice she gave to our Facebook group (please join us) for all indie authors and writers at “Gutsy Indie Publishers.” She has put together several helpful documents on her site’s resources page.

  • I believe the purpose of book signings is to meet people, and not just to sell.

At my last book signing at Chaucer’s, a beautiful book store off State Street in Santa Barbara, I only sold one copy, but I still considered it worthwhile.

Unfortunately, I picked the worst rainstorm night to do a signing, however, here’s why I consider it a success.

Two wonderful authors, and workshop leaders, Marla Miller, and Marcia Meier, whom I met several years ago at other conferences, showed up and we chatted and brainstormed about writing, publishing, promotion, events, contests, etc.

Marla, Sonia and Marcia
Marla Miller, Sonia Marsh, Marcia Meier

Chaucer’s Books has amazing staff, including Erik and Scott.

  • It’s all about word-of-mouth, and I met 3 women who wanted to share my story with their friends, and took several bookmarks
  • I met the co-founder of OneSpiritDancing.org, a man who purchased my book and shared the purpose of his organization with me which is:

“OneSpiritDancing connects women, children and teens in rural West Africa with their counterparts here in the United States. By focusing on movement, song, dance, communication and leadership skills.”

Since I lived in West Africa, and have a desire to help, this was such an unexpected chance meeting.

  • You never know what new contacts may lead to in the future.
  • Chaucer’s book events are advertised on a local Santa Barbara radio station for several days, and mention the author’s name and book.
  • Chaucer’s event planner, advertises the event in local papers.
  • I can always ask for another event when it’s sunny.
  • I  stopped at Apostrophe Books in Belmont Shores on the way to Santa Barbara to was asked to leave some books on consignment.
  • My son is at UCSB, so I managed to have lunch with him.
  • Chaucer’s sold some books before my event and kept 5 extra copies.
  • I never get tired of meeting people, and sharing stories.

What about you? How do you get book signings? Have you tried?

 ***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

Please read and share our first  February’s 2013 story by Sandra Bornstein, our second by Anne Loney, and our 3rd by Diane Danvers-Simmons

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

“My Gutsy Story®” Diane Danvers Simmons

February 18, 2013 by Sonia Marsh 18 Comments

1-Diane Danvers Simmons Head shot-001

Up Up and Away and I Lived to Tell The Story!

My gutsy story is not simply one of travel. It’s sitting here painstakingly tapping my fingers two at a time on my laptop as I attempt to transfer the truth of my heart, the tone of my voice, and the nuances of my English wit and spelling into the written word. I’d have no problem talking in front of the United Nations about the virtues of Brussels sprouts, but honing down one day of my journey to Morocco into 1000 words is terrifying.

When I started this narration I intended to simply share the tale of a rather eventful day in my quest to overcome my fear of heights, which baffled me as I was a dare devil in training as a child. But as I began to write, it became obvious I had lost my wings to fly and I needed to get them back again.

This experience highlights the freedom, growth and the opportunities that we allow ourselves when we travel and go beyond our day-to-day lives, even if it is before the birds are up and singing. The sunrise, excitement and loss for words were worth every added wrinkle, and dark circles under my eyes.
May 6th …Sunrise… Somewhere in the desert an hour or two outside of Marrakech!

Diane Danvers Hot Air Balloon
I never thought I’d find myself floating high in the sky, suspended in a wicker basket under a huge balloon envelope, fueled by the flame of intense heat and the folly of the wind gods.
My daughter and I were traveling in the oldest form of human-carrying air technology that’s dependent on the currents of the wind, and in our case, a French man with unruly peppered tinged hair, who exclaimed, “Oh Sheeit,” every few minutes, albeit in a rather lovely accent! I was vigilantly obeying the French man’s orders to hold on tightly to the basket’s leather straps with my knees bent and feet astride (not a flattering pose for the camera!) as we were unleashed from the stability of the earth into the atmosphere. This was the moment where I clutched my St. Christopher and prayed that God remembered all the good things I’ve done in my life and had forgotten the naughty ones. My only comfort at this juncture is the knowledge that the French pioneered hot air ballooning in 1733, so hopefully they had mastered the skill by now. But then again, interestingly, all eight passengers were British, so I was trying to figure out if the Brits had done anything to upset the French lately, other than root for the Italians in the World Cup and drain their wine cellars of Champagne. I can assure you a glass or ten, would have been much appreciated at this point!!
All aside, this expedition is a tick (American translation-check) on my bucket list!
Hot air ballooning is unbelievable; the pure silence and chilled freshness of the air calms, but also exhilarates. I can honestly say I have never experienced such awe-inspiring quietness, such peace, even if it was interrupted by the occasional blast of heat from the burner, or the exclamations, “bloody brilliant” or “oh f…” as the cameras clued to our eye sockets repeatedly clicked away capturing the beauty of this newly found thrill.
Marrakech shined in all her morning glory on the horizon as the call for prayer awakened the city. Daily life stirred below inside the mud walls of the hidden Berber villages as the routine of daily life unfolded; a Sheppard was herding his flock to new pastures while women worked the fields, and animated children jumped, waved, and shouted to welcome us as our balloon cast shadows on the ground where they ran.

Diane Danvers-Simmons and her daughter
Diane Danvers-Simmons and her daughter

This journey was magical, which was apparent by the enormous grins on our faces…even if our pilot couldn’t seem to land the balloon after his 5th attempt!! OH SHIT!! No, none of us did…we’re all British remember!
When I took flight that day I never expected it to be the metaphor for my life. I had to allow myself to feel totally uncomfortable in the moment and trust the unexpected. But what I learned from the experience was much more. The resolution to take flight in a hot air balloon was more than overcoming a fear and seeing the world from a different perspective. It was about observing life through a clear lens with an open mind and ultimately letting go of the chains that bound me. I freed myself that day and I left with a renewed sense of confidence, belief and purpose …But most of all a memory shared with my daughter that will stay in our hearts forever.
This day and the days that followed in Morocco became the catalyst that challenged me to reach further and develop a Forum to inspire and empower women. It doesn’t involve hot air balloons …but it does encourage you to follow your dreams and live your life the way you choose in your very own brilliance at any age.

Diane Danvers-Simmons Says: My new venture will launch at “Own it, Feel it, Live it.com” on March 3rd 2013 and will feature the workshops I have created for women, Spirituality in Stiletto’s, which provide a safe haven where real women, living real lives, can reignite their spirit and regain their life balance all while having a “bloody good laugh”.
I’m now living my own Gutsy story!

Please visit Diane Danvers Simmons websites at Ownitfeelitliveit.com and thetravellingbritswit.com. You can contact Diane via e-mail at diane@ownitfeelitliveit.com

Sonia Marsh Says: I love the way you infuse humor in sharing your experience of a lifetime with us. How this flight in a hot air balloon helped you overcome your fears, let go, and see the world from a different perspective. It set you free.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our Anthology. Please contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

Please read and share our first  February’s 2013 story by Sandra Bornstein, and our second by Anne Loney. 

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

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