Team Building Is Not for the Faint of Heart
I spent almost 40 years working for big corporations. The pay was great, but the work was high pressure and demanding. With thousands of employees to manage, department heads had to work closely with each other. This led to a ridiculous set of exercises named Team-Building.
In 1991 I had been promoted into an executive position just in time to attend a 3-day exercise in Warner Hot Springs, which was so far from civilization that the rustic hotel rooms had no televisions. I was so nervous about the event I felt nauseous. A born introvert, I was always intimidated by social situations surrounded by semi-strangers talking about sports. But this was serious. If I made an idiot of myself at this event, all the company big shots would forever remember my foolishness as their first impression of me.
Early the next morning, we met in a conference room. There were about 30 of us – 29 men and one woman. They all seemed to know each other, but looked at me like I was painted green. A team-building consultant led the first exercise with an introductory speech as we sat around one large table. He held a tennis ball in his hand.
“I am going to throw this ball at one of you. This person will then throw it to another person and then say something nice about that person. That person will then pick someone else to throw the ball to and say something nice about that person. And so on.”
You already know where this is heading, don’t you? The most popular guys were chosen first. Being a stranger, I was the second to the last person to receive the ball. I had to throw it to the last person and say something nice about him. This was a challenge. If he had had some virtue, he would have already been picked. I can’t remember what I said. Maybe I just passed out.
Next the consultant led us outside and grabbed a hula hoop. We all had to stand in a circle holding hands. I hate holding hands, especially with other men. The consultant broke the circle for a moment to insert the hula hoop around one person’s arm.
“Now I want you to work this hula hoop around this circle without letting go of your neighbors’ hands. Step through the hoop with your legs and loop it over your head to the next person.” This was just plain silly, but at least I survived it without losing my balance and falling over.
For the rest of the day we were broken into five teams which competed with each other. A vice president was put in charge of each team and they took turns choosing their team members. You all remember how humiliating this was in grammar school? Being the last one chosen? Well, it’s even worse when you’re in your 40’s.
The five teams played problem-solving games. For example, we were given a few planks of wood and some bricks and told to use them to cross a pond. It would be easy with enough wood and bricks, but there weren’t enough, so we had to be creative – to “think outside the box”. Almost all executives are “Type A” personalities: driven, self-confident, and aggressive. So each person thought he had the best plan and we had to debate which plan was best. Just like with a real business problem.
Another example was to climb a 12 foot fence, without a ladder. We had to lift a guy to the top and then he pulled another guy up, etc. I started enjoying the events. A handful of us had fought in Vietnam, giving us a common history to bond over. We remarked about how some of the games had parallels in combat operations.
Now part of a six-man team instead of the initial 30-person mob, I felt more confident. In each game I tossed out a suggestion or two about overcoming the obstacles. The other five guys listened and nodded, which encouraged me to continue to speak up.
On the second day, we got to climb trees. It was a day I will never forget. We took turns strapping ourselves into harnesses hooked to ropes and pulleys, and then climbing to a platform on the top of a 50 foot tree. The objective was to jump off the platform and grab a trapeze bar. Of course if I missed the bar, I’d be saved by the harness, assuming I did not swing face first into a tree. I loved it!
Some of the games were done in pairs and we were matched up by weight. As one of the smallest men, I was matched up with the lone woman, which was fine.
All day we were like kids again, swinging across water with ropes, diving into trampolines, playing tug of war, and racing across tree limbs. The grand finale was to walk across a 4 inch beam between two trees, high in the air, with a harness, of course. The consultant asked for volunteers to try it blindfolded. I shouted out “I’ll do it!” and the next thing I knew I was a circus performer. I made it all the way across with no problem, to the cheers of the group.
That evening over drinks we all told stories of our victories, and I finally felt like I belonged.
DON WESTENHAVER served with the Marines in Vietnam as a radioman and interpreter. His fascination with different cultures grew with many visits to Asia, Europe, Latin America, and Africa as a finance executive. These experiences inspired his first two novels, The Whiplash Hypothesis and The Red Turtle Project. Don’s third and fourth novels, Nero’s Concert and Alexander’s Lighthouse, spring from his life-long interest in ancient Rome, backed up by intense research and many travels.
Don and his wife assist with three different charities, play golf, read novels, and love to travel. They are blessed with two daughters and two grandchildren. Please visit Don’s website.
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SONIA MARSH SAYS: Your story brought back memories of elementary school when I was not selected by my classmates to participate in an event. As an adult, I started thinking how sad it is that we no longer play games, “Swinging across water with ropes, diving into trampolines, playing tug of war, and racing across tree limbs.”
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Sonia Marsh says
Don, Thanks for sharing your experience in team building with such an honest account of what you experienced.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..“Team Building Is Not for the Faint of Heart” by Don Westenhaver
Sharon Lippincott says
You’ve reminded me of softball, Red Rover, any sports-related choosing up sides activity. How utterly dreadful this was going on in experiences positioned as TEAM BUILDING EXERCISES. Your story is a prime example of how many naive practitioners were (maybe still are) out there. But it did have a happy ending, for both of us. Great story.
About ten years ago I did have an opportunity to spend a day doing things such as you describe — a human knot, balancing together on a tippy platform, navigating “radioactive holding ponds” with fewer planks than necessary to get across … being the lightest team member, I was the one passed from hand-to-hand through a hoop to win our team the ultimate victory at the end. Unlike you, this was largely a group of strangers who became best friends by the end of the day, then never saw each other again. But it’s indelibly stamped in memory.
Play can do that. I’m with Sonia. Let’s spend more time PLAYING!
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Don Westenhaver says
Sharon, it’s reaffirming to hear that others have experienced similar feelings in these “break-the-ice” events. I have been coerced into so many awkward events, like a party at which you have to make a fool of yourself, or a comedy club where you are picked to get up on a stage. Yet sometimes it turns positive. Almost always, success or failure hinges on two things: the reactions of others and your own attitude.
Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living says
Sharon,
Thanks for your interesting comment. It seems so strange that we remember those moments. Is that because we rarely play like this as adults, or because we felt uncomfortable, and this bonds us?
Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living recently posted..“Team Building Is Not for the Faint of Heart” by Don Westenhaver
Don Westenhaver says
Sonia, I think we remember these events because they provoke such strong emotions: anxiety, uncertainty, gratefulness for the reactions of others, etc. Another reason such events shine more brightly in our memories is because they are so unusual, i.e.: different from our normal daily events.
Strong emotions and extraordinary events are also the reasons why combat experiences are so indelible. Of course these elements also make for good novels!
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Lady Fi says
Oh gosh – I hate these kind of teambuilding exercises!
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Don Westenhaver says
Lady Fi, thanks for the comment. By the way, I clicked on your “leaves” link. Your photographs are stunning!
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Maureen Burton says
Really enjoyed the story. I can certainly relate.
Don Westenhaver says
Thanks, Maureen. I really appreciate it!
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Penelope J says
Isn’t it surprising what one finds out? Glad it worked out for you. I remember those team building weekends. I had always been a loner and an introvert – or so I thought. The amazing thing was to discover that people liked me and regarded me as a team player. They built up my self-esteem.
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