Public speaking is something we all fear, but guess what?
- You may discover something about yourself you never knew.
For me, this happened the other evening at the Costa Mesa library.
Just like anything else in life, the more you do it, the more comfortable you get. It’s the anticipation that causes anxiety, but once you get going, things seem to flow.
So what changed within me the other evening at the library?
No one showed up.
Yes, you heard me. No one except the librarian, a nice guy named Chris, and his assistant.
Chris said, “We’d like to hear your story, so why don’t you start.”
As soon as I started my power point presentation, three people joined us. I connected with this small group and realized, I am having a wonderful time motivating others to take risks in life, and follow their passions. I am helping people realize that we can always find excuses to not pursue our dreams, and so we postpone them.
I realized that I have a powerful story and message to share, and while looking at my small audience, these people were entertained and totally focused on what I had to say. I felt a rush of adrenaline, and came to the realization that:
Motivating others to stop postponing their dreams causes a reaction I never expected:
- While motivating others, I discovered that I also motivate myself to keep going.
It all started in 9th grade when fellow classmates made fun of me during my first speech. I have made it my mission to be “gutsy” and overcome this fear.
Here are some tips that work for me.
- Don’t let pretentious people make you feel inferior.
- Be yourself
- Connect
- Talk about something you love
- Smile
- Don’t act pretentious or superior towards others
- Make fun of yourself.
- Relax
- Have a message to share
It feels so good when you can make a difference and motivate one person to follow their dream.
Here is an example of a presentation I made at Malibu Bank of Books indie bookstore on 2-9-13
So I plan to make it my goal to be just like Oprah, who wrote in the April 2013 “O” Magazine:
“When it comes to matters of the heart, emotion, connection, and speaking in front of large audiences, I thrive.”
What about you? Do you enjoy public speaking?
Please vote for my “Ticket to Give” so I can give TOMS shoes to poor kids in need. See more about it here.
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I wish to thank Bonnie Kassel who wrote a “My Gutsy Story®” and introduced me to Ionia, a book reviewer on Amazon. She gave me an amazing 5 star review and I am so grateful to her. Here is Ionia’s bio:
Ionia Martin is a book reviewer, mother of four and a Ph.D. student in the field of brain and cognitive Science. She has a passion for books, music and photography. When she doesn’t have her nose buried in a book, she likes to spend time working on her charity, dedicated to animal welfare, which should be in full operation late this year. You can find her at http://readfulthingsblog.com or at Twitter via @readfulthings
Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?
NOW is the time to submit your “My Gutsy Story®.” Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.
Please read and share our other March 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” by Bonnie Kassel, Owen Jones, and Linda Lochridge Hoenisberg
You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here
The first time I was asked to speak, I didn’t sleep a wink the night before. I’m sure I did a very poor job. I have to speak on a regular basis now and am not nervous at all. The only time I am nervous is when something goes wrong. I was asked to give a presentation to a group at a campground. The met in an open area in the dark, and I couldn’t see my notes. That did make me nervous.
An Arkies Musings
Richard Lawry recently posted..Judith
Richard,
What do you speak about? I read your post about Judith in San Pedro, Belize. It reminded me of when we gave gifts to our caretaker’s 4-year-old boy, and watched him play with his new toys. have you considered living there?
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
I’ve never had a fear of public speaking and I don’t know why. As long as I am comfortable in what I’m speaking about, I find it fun. You, my Gutsy friend, are a natural! I can’t tell you how happy I am for all your success on your debut book!
xob
Barbara recently posted..A Nod to the Past, As We Look to the Future
Barbara,
You have no idea how much that means to me after you saw that I was teased as a teenager in 9th grade. Strange how that can remain with you for life. Quite stupid that we let these things bother us, but now I can finally let go. How did you overcome this fear Barbara? Maybe you should speak at TED-x about it.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
Sonia, I think public speaking is a skill like anything else-the more you do it, the easier it gets and the better you get at it. I remember the night before my first teaching assignment many years ago. I didn’t sleep all night and I was convinced I wouldn’t live through it! I was well-prepared but the thought of standing in the front of the room made me nauseous. Well, it turned out fine and I even had fun so I definitely agree anticipation is far greater than realization. The other thing I learned and it be me my mantra related to teaching or public speaking: “Fill your head and be yourself” You are doing a fantastic job showing us the way!
Kathleen Pooler recently posted..Finding My Hope in Philly: A Memoir Moment
Kathy,
I agree with the part about being yourself. I have tried Toastmasters a few times, and I know it works for many, but for me, it’s too rigid. Have you tried it?
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
Good for you, Sonia! I would never have guessed you were afraid of public speaking. I was painfully shy as a child, and would not speak up in groups as an adult, but when I published my mom’s memoir I went ahead and scheduled speaking engagements. I had a message to share and that made all the difference. After I spoke to a room of 100 people, my mom commented she didn’t recognize me anymore. Yes, concentrate on sharing what you love (your book, maybe a message) and realize you are an expert on that topic (because you wrote the book on it). Also know that the audience WANTS you to succeed, they are rooting for you (except for that one time I had a heckler). By the way, I’ve been to plenty of author events where I was one of few in the audience, or the only one – it happens, even to midlist authors.
Linda, I remember you said you were afraid of public speaking and I’m happy to hear you’ve overcome this “angst” as well.
I say to myself, “Well, at least I don’t have to speak to the entire nation like the President,” and then I feel better.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
Hi Sonia,
In answer to your question: No , I’ve never tried Toastmasters. I was like Linda, shy and quiet so over the years, I just forced myself to take advantage of speaking opportunities in “The School of Hard Knocks” :-)The way to improve is to get out there and do it as you are doing. I love your tactics “at least I’m not talking to the nation like the President” For me preparation is the key to confidence.
Kathleen Pooler recently posted..Finding My Hope in Philly: A Memoir Moment
Yes,
Preparation is key. The problem is if you don’t speak at least once a week, you feel like you need to prep from the start. At least I do.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
I was as nervous as you of speaking in public but as my daughter was getting married I had no choice, unless I hid in the loo and claimed laryngitis. I started slowly and added a joke to lighten the mood. The tension in the room washed away and so did mine. Once it was over I realised I’d been afraid for no real reason, I even had a captive audience, and I might be prepared to do it again at some stage. Not my daughter’s wedding again obviously.
It’s funny as adults how our childish fears hang on sometimes but now as adults we’re better equipped to cope. Enjoy your next one !
David Prosser recently posted..Baby News
David,
I enjoy your sense of humor and being able to tel a joke is wonderful. I admire those who can.
Sonia Marsh recently posted..I Used to Hate Public Speaking Until…
Good for you! Love the way you’re following your passion and inspiring others.
ladyfi recently posted..Snow blossoms
HI Sonia, thanks for these tips. I never really had the chance to get nervous doing public speaking. I think I was born to it. At an early age people would always tell me that I swallowed a microphone! But voice is not enough. You need to have substance and the substance that people would connect with. Connection is very important, so a lot of of effort in public speaking should go to the preparation of knowing your audience and the connections you can make with them. I like your tip of making fun of yourself – yes that always work but make sure that they are laughing with you and not laughing at you or it could back fire.
Looking forward to more of your articles.
Elmer Cruz recently posted..Passover and the Joke of Destiny
I wish I was born to feel like I swallowed a mike. Anyway, I think being passionate about your topic, and also being yourself helps. Thanks for adding your comment. What do you like to speak about?
Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living recently posted..“My Gutsy Story®” Dorit Sasson