Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living

Life's too short to play it safe

Open Your Heart First if You Want to Help.

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Where do you start when you experience a life changing event?

For several days now, I’ve mulled over the notes in my journal; the one I kept during my week volunteering at a medical mission in the Mayan village of Red Bank, in Belize, and I keep coming back to the same phrase spoken by nurse Judy Krieg, our contact in Belize.

This is Judy, always giving to others.

We call her “The Mother Theresa/Indiana Jones of Belize.” One of the first pieces of advice she gave to all eleven nurses from Orange County and myself was, “Open your heart first if you want to help.” During orientation, she described how we should approach Mayan women and their children. “Look that mother in the eye and touch her child,” she said. “She will remember you if you give her your undivided attention, and that makes all the difference in the mother and her child’s life.”

So why am I writing about Judy’s comment rather than sharing our travel adventures, beautiful accommodations at Belizean Dreams in Hopkins Village,

Xunantunich archeological site and Thatch Caye magical island resort? Because I want to focus on one aspect only, and that is what happened to change my thought process.

I realized that all mothers are the same despite our differences in skin color and level of education. A mother is a mother, even if she doesn’t know her child’s birthday. The love she feels for her child is universal. During a brief moment, my eyes locked with a Mayan mother cradling her sick five-year-old daughter. The tiny girl reminded me of a doll. Her long eyelashes looked sticky and sealed shut; her yellow dress clung to her skinny chest and limbs like a wet rag. Was it the humidity or a fever? I watched the mother pull back wet strands of dark hair glued to scabs around her daughter’s nostrils. For one brief second, the mother and I had a rare connection. I felt intense love for her and the child and then I had to turn away. I started to cry.

A four-month-old little boy. He was the chubbiest of all the kids I saw. Adorable.

I have a wonderful life, and there I was staring at a Mayan mother, who might lose a child to disease or malnutrition. My kids are getting an education and have food. This woman is doing the best she can, and I felt ashamed to be judging her as uneducated and “inferior,” to me. I realized that I was simply lucky to be born with the life I have. Why me and not her?

The island of Ambergris Caye where my family lived from 2004-2005 seemed different, or perhaps it’s my outlook that has changed. Have you experienced a complete change in how you perceive a place after coming back?

OFF TO VOLUNTEER IN A MAYAN VILLAGE IN BELIZE.

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When I entered the front door of Carol’s house last Monday, I thought I’d stepped into a United Nations camp. Boxes of neosporine, band-aids, toothbrushes, toothpaste, flip-flops, socks, combs and toys were scattered in mounds all over her dining and living room floor, waiting for all twelve of us volunteers to squeeze fifty pounds into each suitcase. We need all of it for the Mayan kids we are screening in Belize.

Eleven nurses and I (not a nurse) are off to Belize on Saturday morning at 4 a.m., to help with a school medical screening in a Mayan Village. Nurse Judy Krieg has set up seven stations:

1) Check -in
2) Height and Weight
3) Vision
4) Dental
5) De-Worming
6) Vital Signs
7) Physical Assessment

There are also optional stations for de-licing, wound care, dental hygiene and pharmacy.

I have no idea which station I shall be at, but perhaps the height and weight or vision, since I’m not a nurse.

I shall keep a journal as per the suggestion of Miss Footloose. She always thinks of what could offer material for another book.

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR READING MY BLOG AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SHARING PHOTOS AND MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE CHILDREN FROM THIS MAYAN VILLAGE. I RETURN ON OCTOBER 21ST.

In the meantime, I was offered a wonderful award from Patricia Stotley. author of two mystery novels and I hope you visit her fascinating blog about writing and getting published.


The Heart of a Dragon Award is a very special award for the blogger who inspires you and/or others to go above and beyond or the blogger who helps keep us all connected.

Here are the rules:

1. Post the award on your site with a link to the person who gave it to you.
2. Pass it on to the blogger(s) who inspire you and list why they are receiving the award.
3. Post a comment on their blog.

I would like to offer this award to Jeanie. She is a loyal blogger friend, I feel she is very down-to-earth and authentic. Please visit her and her post today about, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are,” is really interesting and insightful.

What French Women Know: Can We Learn From Them?

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“American women don’t know many things about themselves. They try to be right. You have to be yourself. But you have to know who you are.” Sonia Rykiel
No, I didn’t say that. It’s the famous French designer, Sonia.

At Barbara DeMarco Barrett’s “Pen on Fire Speaker Series,” I had the pleasure of listening to American author, Debra Ollivier, talk about her new book, What French Women Know. Ollivier, an American, married a French man and lived in the 19th arrondissement in Paris long enough to give her an amazing perspective on the differences between both cultures, and how women view love, sex and other matters of the heart and mind.

I have taken some snippets out of Ollivier’s book, What French Women Know, to show how well she describes the differences between American and French women. “When we American women aren’t busy trying to change ourselves, we’re often busy trying to change our men.” She mentions an American women’s magazine titled, “Can You Fix Him?” which drives her point across. This is not how French women think. They use emotional intelligence, in more subtle ways.

In another interesting example Ollivier quotes her French friend, Cecile. “Love is not a balance sheet….I did this for you; now you do that…love and sex don’t work that way… Living happily with men is about finding a way to achieve reciprocity and complementarity, not perfect 50-50 egalitarianism.”

One of the reasons American women may not be as happy as French women is that Americans strive for perfection. “French women generally don’t strive for exalted standards of happiness, neither do they strive for exalted standards of moral perfection,” Ollivier writes. Because most French women know who they are, “they often don’t give a damn what we think of them.” Ollivier says, “they don’t grow up with the cultural mandate to be liked.”

From having spent many years in France, I completely agree with this statement. I find myself translating phrases such as, “You did such a great job,” “I love your hair,” the way I would speak to friends in the U.S., into French, and it often comes across as completely phony. Often there’s an awkward silence, and I remember, this is not how French women speak to one another. I have to try to become the “French” woman in France, and the “American” woman in the U.S.

I found the examples Ollivier gives in her book fascinating. I’m curious what comments or questions you have regarding the differences between women of different cultures.

Creating an Awesome Blog

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I did not come up with this title, nor these strategies so before I start, let me tell you that I found this awesome book called, Blogging for Fame and Fortune, by Jason R. Rich. I have condensed some of his strategies to help both you and me.

1). Fine-tune and Flesh Out Your Blog Topic or Theme.
Come up with a general topic or theme for your blog, then make a list of at least 10-15 potential blog entry topics into full-length post. Always make sure the topics are relevant to your target audience.
This applies to some of you organized bloggers like LadyFi and my friend Shirley at 100 memoirs, but sadly, not to me.

2). Brainstorm New and Original Content.
Become an expert on whatever you decide to blog about, and read other blogs, newspapers, trade journals, magazines that cover the same topic. Figure out what others are doing and make it better, more efficient or more entertaining. Exchange links with other online based sources in order to further build your audience and boost your own credibility.

3). Keep Your Blog Current
Keep up to date with latest news and data. List your sources and explain how and when the information was compiled. Presenting outdated information can quickly damage your credibility as a blogger. If your audience expects a daily, weekly or bi-weekly blog, stay on schedule, so your audience knows what ans when they can expect it. (I haven’t kept mine up, please don’t tell.)

4). Get Your Audience Emotionally Invested in Your Blog.
Be passionate about whatever you’re blogging about. Publish content that your readers strongly agree or disagree with. Encourage your audience to share their thoughts and opinions. Create a small online social networking environment with your blog.

5). Find Your Voice and Use it Properly.
People appreciate what’s familiar. Avoid flip-flopping on opinions. Your voice should allow you to showcase your personality, create a reputation for yourself that sets you apart from other bloggers.

USEFUL TIPS:

There are NO RULES for achieving success in blogging. You just need to be creative, unique, persistent and understanding of your audience, and how you want to be perceived. YOUR BLOG SHOULD BE AN EXTENSION OF YOUR PERSONALITY.

PLEASE SHARE IN ONE WORD OR ONE SENTENCE WHAT IS UNIQUELY YOU, AND HOW YOU WANT US TO PERCEIVE YOUR BLOG. IF YOU WANT FEEDBACK, PLEASE SAY SO. THANKS AND LET’S HAVE FUN.

If you prefer not to, that’s fine too.

My comment is easy GUTSY WOMAN is how I’d like to be perceived. What is your blog voice? Please let us know in the comments section.

I almost missed the reporter’s interview.

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This is how we took my youngest son going to school in Belize

In my house, we have a rule: never answer the phone when it’s dinner time. Last night, I broke that rule.

The phone rang four times before the answering machine kicked in. I stabbed a piece of chicken and had just placed it in my mouth when I heard, “Hi Sonia, this is Lori Basheda from the Orange County Register, and I have a few minutes available to interview you….”

I raced over and grabbed the phone, trying to chew and swallow while pretending to sound cool, relaxed and ready for an interview by a newspaper reporter.

If you are interested in reading about my interview, please read it here.

Back in June of this year, I blogged about “The Heart of a Volunteer”

It’s now my turn to help the 400 kids we shall be treating in October 2009.

I am excited to be a part of this team and shall share stories when I get back.

I’m home until October 10th, so please let me know what you’d like to learn about Belize and these 400 Kindergartners and up, and their lives. Also feel free to comment on your own volunteering or desire to volunteer.

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