Jordan still groggy, woke up to say “goodbye” to his brother Austin, on the right.
Driving Austin to his first day of college at the University of California Santa Barbara required leaving our house at 5:45 a.m., to beat traffic through the heart of Los Angeles.
As with most activities in California, freeway driving takes patience. I’ve spent years of my life standing in line, especially at Disneyland and Universal Studios where lines are so long, I’ve witnessed the birth of several new varicose veins on my legs. Patience is the only way to stay sane in Los Angeles.
According to my husband, I still haven’t mastered the art of patience, but what do you expect after living in Paris for 15 years where cutting in line, is an art in itself.
With a bicycle and a surf board attached to the roof of my husband’s yellow Chevy Aveo, Austin had all he needed to start a successful college career at UCSB.
Once on campus, we followed signs and waited patiently in snake formation, to off load Austin’s belongings. Staff and students waved us along, welcoming us with warm smiles. This made the waiting rather pleasant.
With giant hampers on wheels waiting for each student to dump their stuff: computers, printers, bikes and suitcases were being tossed inside. Everything ran smoothly.
Austin checked off items on the list. The lights worked, the bed and mattress were there etc.
The bike made it.
The nine foot surf board made it. Basically all the important stuff for college at UCSB, made it.
When I said “Goodbye,” to Austin during lunch, I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his peers, so I hugged him and turned away.
Two days later, I walked past his open door and peeked inside. Everything was missing except for his electronic keyboard, and the lyrics and notes to Bob Marley’s song, “One Love,” which Austin had been practicing the week before. The tears started as I looked at his favorite childhood photo from pre-school: the one with him sitting cross-legged and smiling, holding onto some giant crayola crayons.
It finally hit me that he was gone. Soon he will grow up to become a man, a husband with a wife and his own family. My little boy is now gone.
Here – have my shoulder to cry on for a while.
It's what life is all about – setting our kids free – seeing them spreading their wings… but it's still sad.
The last sentence brought tears to my eyes. You set it up beautifully with the pictures and the matter-of-fact tone.
Blessings in this time of transition. Your son has all he needs to become a man. You have given him great gifts and now you get to see what he can do with them.
This is what I am dreading a few years from now! Thanks for sharing.
The best season is yet to come for you, when your kids become your friends. Take my word for it.
My youngest will turn 19 on August 7th. I was planning a camping trip for his birthday. (His favorite activity). We drove over to see him yesterday and found out that he's going camping, but with his friends for his b-day. Oh. I see. Fine. This is what they do, they grow up. Sigh.
You son is so lucky to be going to school in Santa Barbara! He's off to a great start.
Damn it, now I'M crying.
: (
@LadyFi
Thanks LadyFi. Can you bring your shoulder from Sweden to California please?
@Shirley
I know you went through the same with your son and now he just married. That must have been emotional for you too.
@Anonymous
I guess we all have to go through this.
@Brenda
That I am looking forward to Brenda: when my kids become my friends.
@Elizabeth
Will you camp with your husband instead?
@Starshine
Sorry Starshine.
Sonia,
Yes, the "little" one is gone, but it is fun to see the big one emerge! Good story and of course it's one all of us mothers can identify with.
This post made me cry! I was feeling sorry for myself because I have to watch my daughter go to high school next week. In three years, I'll be you, sending her away to college. Thanks for reminding me to cherish every moment I have with her still home while I can!
I understand your sadness, but don't lose sight of the fact that you must have done a lot right, because he is doing just what he should be doing. Quite a few years ago, when my youngest daughter went out of state to college and people said, "oh, aren't you sad for her to go so far away." My response was, "I will miss her, but what would make me sad would be if she was living at home, had a year old baby and worked at McDonalds." She was doing just what she should, and so is your son. Roots and wings…if we give them both, we've given them a lot.
Yes, that last line was a doozey.
I had to send my husband off to university on Sunday- how's that? I'm officially living alone now after 19 years.
You made me cry…I remember that feeling…
But what is great: he's not gone totally and you have a new page in your personal life – imagine what you can do!
Smile! Good! Have a nice day! 🙂
*HUGS*
*BIG HUGS*
This was very timely! My daughter left a few months ago for the states and moves into the dorm in a week. I feel guilty for not being with her.
I closed her bedroom door and try to avoid it.
Aw, one more out the door 🙁 I hope your youngest enjoys the extra attention of being an only child 🙂
vow…now i understand what my parents feel..
when me and my brother left…
mother's emotions..put very well..
god bless yu
My mom cried when she ushered me off to pre-k and she cried again when I took a plane out of the state to attend college. I understand the sentiment.
I know the feeling. And I hate to tell you, it doesn't get any easier with the next child. Just think what a grand job you have done – he's off to start to his very own life!
@Footloose
I like that way of looking at it. Let the big one emerge.
@LazyWriter
Even my neighbor with two small kids thanked me for reminding her to cherish the little ones.
@Jeanie
You are so right Jeanie. They need roots and wings. My oldest, almost 22, is in Michigan.
@Lauri
That sounds interesting. How come your husband left for University? For how long?
@BLOGitse
You're right. My son isn't gone forever. It must be so awful for those mothers with kids at war, and saying, "Goodbye" to them.
@LadyGlamis
Thanks for the HUGS.
@JungleMom
You poor thing that must be a tough one.
@Lauren
I think Jordan does enjoy being the only child. Great observation.
@Lesllie,
Thanks for your comment. Nice to see you. I shall visit.
@Crimogenic
Nice when it is seen from both sides. Thanks for that.
@Midlife Jobhunter,
I can already tell Jordan, 15, will be the last to go, and I'll feel so SAD, yet, I'll have more freedom.
At each stage in life, change occurs. This is just one of many. I'll bet you cry at all of them. Don't worry, Sonia; it's just your recognition of change — something old gone, something new coming. Celebration and (maybe a bit of) foreboding?
Best to all of you.
oh, I am already dreading that moment…and mine are only 5 and 2. I think about that and realize that 5 years have already gone by!! EEK!