After sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair for three hours at my son’s high school, Senior Awards Night, something clicked: I finally understood the need to volunteer, especially here in the U.S.
I’ll never forget the day my Father came over from Paris to visit his Grand kids. I told him about my volunteering in the classroom and he said, “That would never be allowed in France?”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because the teachers don’t want parents interfering in the classroom. Besides, do you think a husband would like his wife to sit and watch him work? It’s important for kids to realize this is their work place, and parents don’t need to be interfering.” My Dad was in his seventies at the time. I thought he brought up an interesting point, especially as kids get older, and some parents want to stay in the classroom.
Recently a mom told me something I hadn’t realized. “Many moms help in elementary school so they can decide which teacher their kid gets in each grade.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people volunteer in order to get something back, like a job offer, a scholarship, or a favor. Most volunteer in order to help, or be of service to others, and I truly believe that should be the main purpose of volunteering.
You often hear famous people, like Oprah say, “The more you give, the more you get back,” and that is what clicked on Senior Awards Night at my son’s high school. Those who received numerous scholarships, were those who volunteered the most during high school. We were told how many hours they had volunteered, and one young girl, had put in 500+ hours with the Red Cross. Of course good grades were crucial too, but I couldn’t help but notice how the number of scholarships were directly linked to the number of hours volunteering.
My husband did have a point when he said, “What about all the other students who volunteered and didn’t get a scholarship?” My response, straightforward and GUTSY, as usual was, “That’s because they only did the minimum eight hour requirement to graduate from high school.”
I haven’t written much due to graduation and a visit from my best friend from England, but I’d love to hear your views on volunteering, especially what happens in your part of the world. Is it more of an American concept? My English friend and her husband said, “How do these kids have time to simply be teenagers if they’re studying, volunteering that many hours and working a job? They’ll be burnt out before they even start a career.” Do you agree?
Thanks to all of you for asking me about my back. Yes, it’s much, much better. HOORAY! I can workout again. Three hours in a plastic chair didn’t help though.
I have often thought that one of the best things the United States could do is to require some sort of national service for at least a year from all its youth. It could be completed anytime from high school graduation until 25 years of age or college graduation, but everyone would have to give at least one year to the Peace Corps, the Americorps, the armed services, or some other national service organization.
My son went into the Peace Corps after college and it was an incredibly maturing experience and, he says, one of the most, if not the most important, experiences he has ever had. He recently visited his Peace Corps country for the first time since his service 10 or more years ago and said it was so very emotional and moving–everyone in the small village remembered him and he said cars were stopping in the streets and people were bounding out to greet him when they recognized him.
I don't know about volunteering as an American thing, but it is huge in Canada. "Across Canada, volunteers give a total of two billion hours each year, the equivalent of 1 million full-time jobs, says a report from Volunteer Canada." About 46% of Canadians (aged 15 years and up) do some volunteer work every year, within Canada. This does not include Canadians doing volunteer work overseas. None of this includes Church work, as far as I know, which takes up another big chunk of volunteer activity.
For more information see http://www.thespec.com/Opinions/article/553341
Since the U.S. has ten times the population of Canada, that would be comparable to 20 billion hours of volunteering, or 10 million full-time US jobs. I don't know how the US compares, though I do know that Canada has had one of the highest rates of volunteerism in the world.
I can't imagine not volunteering. Both my wife and I have volunteered at all the schools our kids have attended, from kindergarten though 12th grade. It fostered good relations with teachers, staff and other students. Our kids also liked it. Because they knew us and knew we cared about our own kids and the good of the school, teachers felt free to share anything they thought we needed to know to help our kids do better. We've also been called in to help during a crisis situation, and a principal asked if our church (I am a minister) would allow our building to be used in case of a natural disaster (tornado, etc.). Volunteering is good for the volunteers and those they are helping.
wb
Sorry, haven't been here for a while!
I guess your main focus is on volunteering at school? Teachers can always use some help -at least in Europe, but I don't know if they would be allowed to sit in the class room when the teacher is teaching. Unless the volunteer has been teaching before, or her hubby is teaching at that school…In other countries in the western world the schools might be better funded! I'm aghast how much the parents have to contribute here (in such a -relatively -wealthy country! I don't understand that…)
Well, I tend to not agree with that last statement…I think there is plenty of time for "kids to be kids" no matter what they are doing…
what exactly is "hanging out"? why can't a group volunteer together?
Anyways, we have a group here that volunteers in an orphanage, in fact we just went today. I like to give back to the community that I live in…though this type is new to me. I have thoroughly felt that it is 300% worth it. The little boys and girls are so happy when we come and play with them, teach them…
I think volunteering is a wonderful way to find yourself, too. You may have to try a few different places to volunteer, but one will grab you and you'll never turn back!
Bg
I'm glad to see the strong feelings you have about the benefits of volunteering. I always like to hear what goes on in different countries around the world. I volunteer in two different areas right now and am considering a third possibility, related to kids in Belize.
@Susan
I hadn't thought of that, but I agree that some type of Peace Corps work abroad, would benefit many young people get a different perspective on life. I'm glad your son had such a beneficial experience.
@Rob-bear
I'm grateful for all the statistics and information you give in your responses. I shall go to the link you sent.
@Warren Baldwin
I'm so glad you and your wife have helped your children and so many others through volunteering. Were you surprised to hear about schools in France?
Hi Sonia
Volunteering has always been a big part of the Australian way. Schools – yes – sporting team management and fund raising – yes – hospital shops, tutoring in organisations that offer courses for older people (University of the Third Age) – on an on.
I'm the facilitator and founder of a support group for families and carers of persons who suffer a mental illness – my contribution at the moment.
June in Oz
I've lived in three countries, and do indeed find it to be more of an American concept. The difference here is that corporations really push the idea. Also, students at most high schools around the nation have to have a certain number of hours to qualify for scholarships.
I don't think it burns kids out, rather, it shows them the importance of helping others.
Personally, I volunteer three hours a week at my church. I really enjoy it.
@Ballerina Girl
Great advice BG. You make a good point about "hanging out" while volunteering.
@ June,
Nice to hear what goes on in Australia. Sounds similar to the U.S and Canada, according to Rob-bear.
@Fred,
I'm curious which are the other countries you've lived in? Thanks for your input.
When I graduated I didn't need any hours but now the high school has a 10 hour "community service" goal. I did however volunteer in a nursing home a while back and paired up with the same man. His family lived far away and I even bought him a watch for X-mas. I did this because I wanted to. I hope that someday if I ever have to end up in a lonely place like a nursing home that God will remember that good deed and bring me company.
AS far as voluneering in schools, I did it for my children so I could be a part of their memories. It was nice to do story time, help children who were falling behind with spelling words or math facts and of course the favorites….room parties. I have always bounced in between the two boys since they are only one grade apart. Now that they are both in middle and high school, there isn't really any volunteering for parents. They usually have students as teacher aids.
I think that volunteering helps create a sense of community responsibility and its part of what makes America strong. Our youth are taught that they must contribute to the community, they MUST do something. At least in CA, my experience with my kids in University and my experience substitute teaching tells me we are doing a good job at this. I am all in favor.
Interesting post as usual, my friend!
We don't volunteer in schools in the UK or Sweden in the same way you do. Nor do I think that teenagers do the same amount of voluntary work when they are at school – after all, where do they get the time? I agree that schoolkids these days are under a lot of pressure and they suffer from stress symptoms like headaches and stomachaches more and more…
I worked in China as a VSO (Volunteer Services Overseas) teacher (the British equivalent to Peace Corps) for three years in China in the 80s and would recommend it to everyone…
I think volunteering is great. Everyone should do something altruistic sometimes. It's good for us and it's good for whoever benefits from that service. There are SO many things you can do. Everyone should be able to find something that's meaningful and enjoyable for them.
My husband and I started volunteering at a Cub Scout day camp when our sons were cub scouts. Now that our kids are teenagers, we all take the first week of summer and go work at this day camp.
There are a lot of great things that only happen because people are willing to volunteer.
I think people here volunteer for the wrong reasons a lot of the time. It's either pressure from the community, trying to impress either a job or college or trying to fulfill some inner need. Very few people volunteer out of the kindness of their heart, and God bless them for it.
And I agree–kids shouldn't be pushed to volunteer for 500 hours, work and take high-level classes. Burnout!
Midsummer greetings from nightless night! 🙂
I agree with Susan Matthewson that it is a good thing to have all kids do some sort of service before they really get stuck in to adult life. Here in Italy I believe there is national service in the armed forces, and if you don't want to do that you can spend the time volunteering. I'm not sure, though, about harrassing kids to volunteer (because of scholarships) while they're still studying – I believe there should be some time left over for kids to learn to contribute to family life – doing the chores, cooking, just being present in a family relationship. So many kids don't know how to build a stable home when it comes time, simply because there's never been time to teach them how. After all charity begins at home…
I volunteered early on because I'd heard the teachers needed the help. Maybe I was naive?
Pam
I volunteered all through High School and I got a lot out of giving. No one in my family had been volunteers as money was the prime value in my family. I am not sure where I got the idea but I am so glad I did. All I did was volunteer in a hospital but it gave me so much wonderful experiences and I think was important in the development of my self concept. Through volunteering I learned to think of myself as a person who gives and as I built that self perception I developed that quality. Hope that makes some kind of sense.
@ My 3 Sons
I'm sure your kids appreciate what you did for them.
@Brenda,
Yes, this is what makes America strong, as you said.
@LadyFi,
I feel the same way you do, and the same with my kids. Perhaps living in Europe gives you different perspective.
@ The Blonde Duck,
I think that those kids who want to do it should, but others who don't, shouldn't. It should be voluntary.
@ Louise
The service idea, before yo go out in life is a great idea. You're a little more mature then.
@Pam,
I'm glad you did it for helpful reasons.
@ La Belette Rouge,
Your reasons were obviously the right ones.
As June has already said, volunteering is a big part of Australian life – but more for adults – not for children so much. If you live in a small community, it depends on its citizens to keep organisations going – sporting, interest, cultural and so on. The problem is of course, there are so many organisations that want your time that you can easily burn out.
On the school front there is a big call for parents to help in preschools – but not in the classroom as much as fundraising or social activities for the schools. Some schools welcome parents to listen to children read or to teach a skill outside the curriculum, but not all welcome this.
As far as children/teens volunteering, it isn't required by the school or even that encouraged from what I've seen. Although I'm sure they would be welcome in most volunteer organisations!
Hi there
Delwyn here – I am from Au and as a couple of my compatriots have said volunteering is an important part of the social fabric of life here.
Many organisations and social work enterprises rely on the good hearts of the volunteers. We even have a day to celebrate their efforts.
Compulsory volunteering for kids at school to get grades is a bit of an oxymoron isn't it?
Amongst other things I have been a mentor for teenage kids at risk of falling out of school – this was based on a very successful NZ program.
Happy days