Archives for February 2015

Does it Take Guts to Leave a Marriage?

February 27, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 8 Comments

shutterstock_208049116 — I could not resist the blue/turquoise background on this photo. Just noticed a parasailer to the right of the arrow. Is that me flying?

I was talking to Donna, an author and a life coach, about ideas for my next blog post.

Donna knows my theme is “Gutsy Living” and she texted me,

“It takes guts to leave a marriage… Did u write on that?”

My answer is “No,” and although I agree there are many women who stay stuck in a marriage because it’s easier to do that, than to get unstuck, I still don’t view my own situation as gutsy.

Now what I’m planning for the rest of my life, I would call Gutsy, in the sense that I am not one of those women who likes to stay in my house, and certainly don’t thrive on the same routine. Besides, I no longer own a house, nor do I have a home to celebrate the holidays with my three sons. (That part I do regret.)

My life right now is a period of major transition. It has been quite liberating to rid myself of possessions, take charge of my own finances, get organized, and move forward with my next adventure.

Apart from my clothes, photos and files, all I own is the furniture below, and my small blue Kia Rio. Quite surprising that at age 57, I’m back to what I owned as a 25-year-old, and the strange thing is I now feel free to pack up and move to another country.

My only possessions are: the inspirational painting that led to my love of tropical islands, two antique chairs I embroidered with my mother in Denmark when I was fifteen years old, and my parents’ Chinese chest, which has followed me since 1983.

100_2914 — Red embroidered armchair. I have two of those, and my favorite Barton painting and frame

100_2915 — I inherited my parents’ Chinese chest and the paintings behind are the ones I painted. Always turquoise!

I applied and was rejected by the Peace Corps, but that didn’t stop me from changing my resume, and reapplying. I’m thrilled to announce that I finally had my 2-hour interview and shall keep you posted on what happens with that.

As a back-up, I decided to get a (TESOL) certificate, Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages, an intense 4-week course, supposedly with no breaks on weekends. The problem is I have at least six people whom I’d like to visit in the UK, including author Ian Mathie, and my French/British blogger friend Muriel Demarcus, who wrote a My Gutsy Story® published in the Anthologies, and other friends from my days studying in the UK.

So for me, the answer has been, and shall always remain, to keep busy with plans and projects, and to keep networking, as you never know what the future holds. When you’re open to change, there are so many possibilities.

Don’t focus on the “what if’s” of your divorce, but on the “what if’s of your life.”

Please share anything you wish to in the comments section below, especially if you have gone through a divorce, or a separation.

“Choosing One’s Battles Wisely”

February 24, 2015 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

“Choosing One’s Battles Wisely”

“My Gutsy Story®” Donna L. Friess

“Choosing one’s battles” that’s good advice as it illustrates another way to live a gutsy life. It takes guts to hold back one’s emotions and not jump eagerly into a negative situation. I want to share a moment around our home which illustrates my point. My husband and I are caring for our grand dog Buddy while our youngest son and his family are skiing. Recently, I let Buddy and our three dogs out one last time before bed. For a moment all four dogs seemed to disappear into the inky darkness. Suddenly there was a noisy scuffle. I turned on the powerful outdoor light and saw that Buddy had caught a skunk; a very big black and white skunk! Quickly, realizing what he had caught, he released it, and in that instant it turned its huge and fluffy tail toward him and let loose! Horrified by what he had done and the stickiness of the odorific spray on his face, he rushed into the garage and frantically rubbed himself on his bedding in a vain attempt to rectify his condition. Tessie, his co-conspirator, did the same. Lacey and Zoe stood off to the side watching all the commotion, shaking their heads in wonder.

Shamed by their new smell, Buddy and Tessie lurked in the corners of the garage. I tended to them as best I could with a concoction of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. But the hour was late and the odor was seeping into my home. I bid them goodnight as they slinked into the shadows of the garage.

The next morning I went to let them out. Buddy shamefacedly hung his head, contrite over his foolishness. I had texted our son to share the late night excitement. His response was, “Buddy tangles with skunks about twice a month, he knows all about them, but never seems to learn!” So his surprised innocence was no longer working on me as I understood that it was the thrill of the confrontation that Buddy enjoyed.

Out in the big yard the next morning, he and Tessie went looking for more trouble hoping, I am sure, for a rematch with their worthy opponent. As I sat drinking my coffee, it occurred to me that sometimes humans do the same thing; engage in a conflict with an opponent, perhaps over the smallest thing, for the excitement of the exchange. It is true, the adrenaline flows, the heart pounds, and the muscles constrict and we’re ready for action. Only to find that later, when reason prevails, one feels foolish for the silliness of the altercation. Often the motivation is the thrill of the exchange, not the actually winning of the argument, and to make it worse, one never knows when they might get “skunked!”

I think it takes guts to take a hard look at one’s own interpersonal motivations and to hold back from the “thrill” of perhaps a dysfunctional argument. I love Jack Canfield’s formula. We can apply this to many situations. In fact, it can be empowering. It is EVENT + OUR RESPONSE = OUTCOME. We have the power to choose our response, which will affect the outcome. For now, the old saying, “One must choose one’s battles wisely” may apply here. I have to go, the thrill-seeker named Buddy is casing my yard for more excitement!

Donna L. Friess, Ph.D., author, psychologist and grief counselor has written a debut novel, The Unraveling of Shelby Forrest available at: www.amazon.com. She is an advocate for children’s rights, currently serving on a U.S. Justice Department Office for Victims of Crime Consortium. Her best selling, award-winning autobiography, Cry the Darkness, has been published in seven languages.

**Get your copy of Unraveling here.**

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How I’m Saving Money With Airbnb

February 19, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 4 Comments

Have you ever thought of renting a castle, a houseboat at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, or a cute, inexpensive apartment in your favorite city?

If so, airbnb might be the community you’re looking for.

What is airbnb?

“Founded in August of 2008 and based in San Francisco, California, Airbnb is a trusted community marketplace for people to list, discover, and book unique accommodations around the world — online or from a mobile phone…Airbnb helps make sharing easy, enjoyable, and safe. We verify personal profiles and listings, maintain a smart messaging system so hosts and guests can communicate with certainty, and manage a trusted platform to collect and transfer payments.”–Airbnb website

In order to save money, I decided to try airbnb for the first time during my upcoming trip to Europe. I shall be staying in 4 different locations, in Athens, London and two in Madrid.

I haven’t had much luck with inexpensive hotels in Europe–check out my last experience with a youth hostel in Amsterdam. Besides, most of the hotels I find are not in a convenient location, and lack space. It’s nice to have a small kitchen to make coffee, and cook meals, especially when you’re on a tight budget.

When I first discovered the airbnb website, I spent quite a few hours reading the reviews, just like Amazon reviews for books, and looking at photos of various studio apartments in Athens, London and Madrid. What shocked me more than anything, was the low price/night to rent an apartment that looks nice, is centrally located, and has great reviews. Of course, I have not experienced any of these places yet, but I shall be sure to let you know when I’m in Europe in April, May and June, for my TESOL Certificate in London, and volunteering for Vaughan Town in Spain.

I was fortunate to find the perfect location for one night in Madrid, with excellent reviews for only $37.00. ( I shall update you on my experience in May, 2015.) Another bonus with airbnb, is the relationship with the local owner of the apartment. As you can see from some of the reviews, some hosts go out of their way to greet you when you arrive, and to point out local restaurants and cafes, as well as museums to visit close by.

How do you book a room with airbnb?

Here’s how airbnb works. You type in the city you’re interested in, your dates, and then check the box for an entire home or apartment, a private room, or a shared room. Just for fun, I punched in some dates from March 17th-18th in Madrid, and here’s one that came up. The example below is simply to show you what you will find on the airbnb website. The price, $27/night, 36 photos, a map to the right with location, the 77 reviews which you can read, and have them translated into English, if they are in a foreign language, and then you can request to book the place if it’s what you’re looking for.

Check inCheck outGuests

Room type Entire home/apt Private room Shared room

Airbnb — Example of one place in Madrid. I have not stayed here, I’m just sharing a screenshot capture of what the airbnb website is like..

“Airbnb connects people to unique travel experiences, at any price point, in more than 34,000 cities and 190 countries. And with world-class customer service and a growing community of users, Airbnb is the easiest way for people to monetize their extra space and showcase it to an audience of millions.” —Airbnb website

penicheCapture — Houseboat by the foot of the Eiffel Tower. Click here to see costs etc.

Stay on a houseboat at the foot of the Eiffel Tower in Paris for only $129/night. This place has 127 4.5 ****+1/2 star reviews out of 5. I haven’t stayed on this, but this would appeal to me more than staying in a hotel in Paris.

Here’s another inexpensive place I found in the Latin Quarter of Paris, not that I’m staying there. Only $41/night in the Latin Quarter of Paris

So I look forward to sharing my own experiences with airbnb.

Do you have a story to share about your own airbnb experience? Please e-mail me: sonia@soniamarsh.com, and I’m happy to share it on my blog, and link back to your site.

If you missed my post on how “I Discovered a Way to Pay Less on Airfares,” please check it out.

Is “Painting and Vino” Gutsy? What Do You Think?

February 16, 2015 by Sonia Marsh 6 Comments

My eyes look a bit sleepy, and that was before the vino. I blame my cousin’s camera.

On the day after Valentine’s Day, I signed up for a class on the Living Social app called: “Painting and Vino,” which took place at the Balboa Inn, a beautiful beach side resort, in southern California.

Since I did not receive flowers from a “loved” one on Valentine’s Day, I thought I would paint my own flowers and enjoy some vino, with my cousin, and about 40 other people.

Here are the two examples of what we were supposed to paint

This is what the art teacher's flowers looked like. — This is what the art teacher’s flowers looked like.

As you can see, these two paintings were the examples of what we were supposed to paint, and since I love bright colors, I couldn’t wait to start painting.

For only $25, we were each given a blank canvas, 5 different size paint brushes, as much paint as we needed, an easel, a large water cup, and paper towels.

I enjoyed the step-by-step instructions given by our art teacher, who came up to my painting, and said, “You’re the rebel painter; love it,” which made me happy.

My painting was nick-named the “REBEL PAINTING” by my art teacher, and I loved the name.

Since I went against the rules, and did my own colors, I was thrilled to be one of the non-conformists.

My cousin also painted a different color vase, and this was her first time EVER, to paint on a canvas.

This was so much fun, and reminded me of how much I love to paint with acrylics. I shall definitely sign up for more evenings like this one. We painted for 3 hours, and each month, on the Living Social App, you can see the various artists paintings on a calendar, and select the one you want to paint. A great way to decorate your house for only $25/painting, and it’s your own work.

Do you want to try this? If so, check out if they have one in your area.

Want to learn HOW I SAVED TONS OF MONEY by using Airb&b on my trip to Europe instead of booking hotels? Come back on Thursday, February 19th to learn more.

Here’s an article on HOW I SAVED TONS OF MONEY by booking my flights on GOOGLE FLIGHTS

Winner of the January 2015 “My Gutsy Story®”

February 12, 2015 by Sonia Marsh Leave a Comment

We had FOUR OUTSTANDING “My Gutsy Story®” authors. Thank you for submitting and for voting. These 4 authors are all WINNERS.

Winner of the January 2015 “My Gutsy Story®”

1st Place, with 59% of the votes, goes to Connie Fenty with her inspiring “My Gutsy Story®”entitled: “How I Learned to Let Go of Security.”

SONIA MARSH SAYS: I admire the way you were able to use the courage and resilience you received from your your boot camp experience, and apply it to tragedy in your life.

2nd Place, with 24% of the votes, goes to Kenn Ashcraft with his story entitled, “From Morbid Obesity to Taking Charge of My Life.”

SONIA MARSH SAYS: I look forward to reading about the next chapter of your life where you ride your bike and hold public seminars at every hospital. This will inspire others who are going through a difficult period and need a boost from someone who overcame his health issues.

3rd Place goes to Lola De Maci, “What Mom Taught Me About Life.”

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Lola, what a beautiful story of love and gratitude for the small things in life that bring us pleasure. Something to remember during this busy holiday season.

4th Place goes to Suzanne Chun with her story, “You Have to Take a Leap, and Another, and Another, Until You Get it Right.”

SONIA MARSH SAYS: What a transformation during your summer, and how you became “gutsy” and transformed yourself.

I shall post more about my travel plans, how I managed to get cheap accommodation in Greece, London and Madrid, and my life transitions in the upcoming weeks.