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“My Gutsy Story” by Kimberly Brower

October 15, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

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The Chicken and Beer Dance

We get to the dance hall at seven o’clock sharp, and already it seems as if half the town is there. The total population of St. Jacob is barely in the hundreds, but some folks have come from as far away as Alhambra, and there’s barely room to stand let alone sit.

In farm country, I have found that each season has its own type of celebration. In summer, it’s homecoming with games and rides and barbequed brats. In autumn, it’s bonfires and hayrides and hot apple cider. In winter, people go into hibernation with the occasional fried fish dinner at the VFW on Friday nights. And in the spring, it’s the chicken and beer dances, where, for a nominal price, you can eat all the chicken and drink all the beer you can hold and then dance the night away.

This particular chicken and beer dance is a fundraiser for Jason, one of my students at the local elementary. He’s a small boy with a hole in his heart, and I can relate with him more than most because I feel like I have a hole in my own heart half the time, though no one could see it. I find myself breathless and dizzy from the thought of living life without my husband, who is still back in Los Angeles where I left him. Though we have not filed for divorce, our union seems as tenuous as a fluttering heart, and sometimes I feel myself turning blue.

I left the rush and pulse of the city in part to escape from a painful marriage and in part to find the hometown I never had growing up. I went to six different elementary schools while my father climbed the corporate ladder. Now, I’ve dragged my three sons away from their own father with vague explanations of how great this is all going to be. The youngest two still trust me enough to give it a chance. My teenager thinks I’m a heartless witch.

Kimberly & Boys on Farm

My “date” for tonight is my good neighbor, Cindy, whose own husband is working a double shift at the Granite City Steel Mill. We are an unlikely pair. She is country through and through, and I am not. She knows exactly where she is because she’s been here all her life, and I am lost.

From where I sit with Cindy, I can see one of the local boys named Steve standing off by himself, looking dapper and forlorn. Folks say poor Ol’ Steve is suffering from a broken heart ever since his wife rolled his arm up in the car window and “drug” him down the road.

The wife is not present tonight. Divorce in this part of the country is a horrible thing; you are not only separated from your spouse but also from the community that they inhabit. In most divorces, one or the other spouse usually ends up having to move out of town. In Steve’s case, since he’s got the farm, his wife has had to move in with her sister down in Belleville.

I have noticed that these people are not shy about discussing their most intimate lives. In Los Angeles, no matter what, you put on a good front in the never-ending battle to keep up with the Joneses. You might be living in an empty shell of a home, but from the outside everything looks fine. It’s different out here, where everybody knows everybody’s business and there’s no point in trying to “put on airs.”

I wonder, for a moment, what people are saying about me, then decide that it doesn’t really matter. They’re farmers. They understand that sometimes, no matter how well you prepare the soil, no matter how diligently you watch the weather, no matter when you plant, your crops just don’t yield. There’s no shame in failure as long as you’ve given the effort all your heart.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jason’s mom drink straight from a bottle of green apple schnapps. It’s her boy going to the hospital tomorrow for open-heart surgery.  She catches my glance and blushes, then offers me the bottle. It’s a sin to drink alone in these parts. You can be fall down drunk every Friday night of the year and not be deemed an alcoholic, but drink alone and tongues will wag. It’s equally sinful to allow someone to drink alone, so I take a swig and am immediately warmed by the tangy, sweet liqueur.

Now the music starts up and everyone who can gets out to cut a rug. The wooden floors of the community center are worn from use from where generations of St. Jakies have danced their worries and their fears away. The band plays Bob Seiger and The Boss, and we all stagger out together to twist and shout. My neighbor and I do a mean jitterbug to the earsplitting sounds of “That Old Time Rock and Roll”; and, for a giddy, swirling moment, time stands still.

Crops may fail, dreams may be lost, lives may take a sudden turn for better or for worse, but the heart of this community is strong and good. This half-cocked, hair-brained idea of mine to pull up stakes and move my family away from the only home they’ve ever known has landed us all in a place where everyone belongs. And, whatever else happens, that is enough.

Kimberly Brower Bio:

Kim Brower (K.B. Keilbach) is a graduate of the University of Southern California’s Master of Professional Writing Program and author of the award-winning book Global Warming is Good for Business: How Savvy Entrepreneurs, Large Corporations and Others are Making Money While Saving the Planet. Her work has been featured in WomenEntrepreneur.com, FoxBusiness.com and CNN’s AC360. Kim also won Honorable Mention in the 75th Annual Writer’s Digest Genre Competition for her fiction short story, “Clueless.” In addition to writing, Kim works as an educational program designer with USC’s Marshall School of Business. She lives in the suburbs of Los Angeles with her family, a Jack Russell Terrier and a potbelly pig named Hamlet.

Sonia Marsh Says:  In sharing a typical spring-time farm dance,  you brought us into the heart of farm  culture; a  place that is good and strong, something you needed while questioning the city life you left behind. You had me questioning whether life is better in a rural community where everyone knows everyone’s business, or in a city community, where you can remain anonymous.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Two October stories are up, both men for a change. So far we have Duke Marsh “My Gutsy Story” and Don Darkes “My Gutsy Story.”

I hope you enjoy the “My Gutsy Story” series and share with others through the links below. Perhaps you’d like to submit your own. Thanks.

Filed Under: My Gutsy Story, Parenting & Family Tagged With: "MY Gutsy Story: Kimberly Brower

Comments

  1. Sonia Marsh says

    October 15, 2012 at 6:20 am

    Kimberly, You really had me thinking about finding our “paradise” again. Since you uprooted your three sons and moved to a rural farm, and we did the same, but to Belize, it just proves that every place has its pros and cons, and that paradise is a “state of being.”

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      Thanks Sonia,

      For keeping at me until I finally sat down and just wrote the damn thing. You’re a good friend and a gifted writer.

  2. Liz B. says

    October 15, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Wonderful story, Kimberly! Thanks for sharing some very difficult decisions you had to make. Reading about your gutsy accomplishments, gives me courage to think about accomplishing some of my own.
    Liz B. recently posted..Crunch, munch…My Profile

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      Thanks Liz,

      I look forward to reading all about your gutsy accomplishments here one of these days!

  3. Lady Fi says

    October 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    This was beautifully written!
    Lady Fi recently posted..Early autumn lightMy Profile

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:44 pm

      Thank you, Lady Fi.

  4. Carol says

    October 16, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Thanks so much for sharing.
    ” a place where everyone belongs ” sounds like paradise to me. But our world doesn’t look like that at the moment. Thanks for inciting us to keep hoping, which is one baby step towards happiness. From there we have to make the right decisions! Any advice welcome.

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks Carol,

      I think happiness is a choice, not something that just happens to us. Good luck to you in your journey towards a worthy goal!

  5. Benny Basquet says

    October 17, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Really enjoyable and happy life style of yours. i think your family is so loving and wonderful too. I like your fantastic article and nice life. Thanks a lot for your well topic,
    Benny Basquet recently posted..http://www.kimkardashian24h.comMy Profile

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm

      Thanks, Benny. We’ve had a great time together, and our time on the farm made us that much closer.

  6. Penelope J. says

    October 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    One of the most beautifully written and incisive posts that I’ve read. Terrific writing sets the scene, your situation, your longing for a home denied you in childhood, and pending divorce. Love the way you characterize yourself and the country community, your concern for your sons, and your growing hope that this new start will provide the stable home you never had.

    Sounds like a gutsy move indeed to exchange a lifestyle in LA for this rural setting. I want to find out how it worked out.
    Penelope J. recently posted..Never Give Up on Your DreamMy Profile

    • Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living says

      October 17, 2012 at 8:01 pm

      Kimberly is an amazing author. I have known her for fifteen years and always envied her skills in creative writing. Thanks Pennie.
      Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living recently posted..“My Gutsy Story” by Kimberly BrowerMy Profile

    • Kimberly says

      October 17, 2012 at 9:49 pm

      Thanks Pennie,

      I appreciate your lovely critique, and I’m glad you liked my story enough to ask how it all worked out. Let’s just say I’m back in LA with my kids…and our pet potbelly pig (but that’s a whole other story).

Trackbacks

  1. A bold decision changed my life. | Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living says:
    October 29, 2012 at 10:01 am

    […] are up. So far we have Duke Marsh “My Gutsy Story” and Don Darkes “My Gutsy Story,” and Kim Brower’s “My Gutsy Story,” and Doreen Cox, “My Gutsy […]

  2. Writing Contest: Vote for your favorite October "My Gutsy Story" | Sonia Marsh - Gutsy Living says:
    November 29, 2012 at 7:15 am

    […] Kimberly Brower takes her three young sons to live on a farm away from city life, where she questions her marriage and where she belongs. […]

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