Our hut in Belize is below. Kids had much less stuff.
Flicking through television stations one afternoon–yes I know what you’re thinking, but please don’t go there– I came across the Oprah Show, and noticed a family of four facing the audience. The blond mother did not smile, the husband seemed intimidated, the 14-year-old appeared uncomfortable and the five-year-old, bored. Apparently this family had become disconnected and were getting prepped by Peter Walsh, for a week of stripping down, in order to become a reconnected family.See below.
Peter Walsh hit a chord when he mentioned people having “too much stuff,”Rule 1: No Cell Phones or Texting
Rule 2: No Electronics
Rule 3: Prepare and Eat Healthy Meals Together
At first they HATED it, but then surprisingly, the teenager admitted he did not miss texting, and enjoyed having meals and getting attention from his parents.
Listening to Walsh reminded me of the days when parents, (especially mothers) didn’t work and had more time and energy to prepare home-cooked meals and nurture their family. Perhaps that’s why in so many third world countries, with no stuff, families are much closer and they rely on each other and their community of friends and relatives for entertainment.
Is western society losing close family ties? What do you think?
My blogger friend Shirley with her blog 100 memoirs, is offering an interesting contest. Tell your life story in SIX WORDS.
I really enjoyed this post. My family has a healthy balance. We spend a lot of time together and eat our home-cooked meals together, but we also watch television, have extra-curriculur activities, and use the computer. I'm happy with it!
I think the key is to see the family as a unit. I have two teens. I remind them that very "extracurricular," whether it's for the adults or the kids, affects all of us and our quality of life. We try to balance everyone's needs and interests and respect family time too. We always have dinner together, around a table, and yes, I'm the one who cooks it. We didn't own a television until our kids were in elementary school and we've never had cable, we just watch rented movies.
We do all have computers but they're all used one room of the house so we "work" together. Kids have cellphones and pay for their own plans with money they earned themselves. So yeah, we're connected and I hope we stay that way.
What a good topic. I do my best, only my 19 year son is still home with us now. We play games together and I make him watch movies with me. Just two nights ago we watched "500 Days of Summer". If we don't reach out, what do we expect? Us parents need to stay connected. The texting thing, not at dinner! Outlawed. Me too!
I miss the old days. We did watch TV but I also remember playing board games, cards, jacks, jump rope and hide and seek. There is non of that now, but I do see the Wii games bringing back family time.
I loved seeing the contrasting photos of your two houses, Sonia. Thanks for this post. I think families have to be intentional about how they stay connected. Like Jill and V-Grrl have pointed out, you can use technology and still have face time. There is no one-size-fits-all formula, but I do believe that living simply, even if you can afford to live "big," is a really good way to bring up children.
And thanks for giving my contest an additional boost!
Interesting post! I think that it is easy for families to become disconnected. If I spend too much time on the computer, say, instead of playing with the kids, they get very irritated.
All kids love and need their parents to give them love as well as guidelines.
"Everything is on their terms and when you take a child away from that environment, it is such a shock for them. What kids really want is their parents to be in control."
What kids really want is also TO BE with their parents.
You don't need to do things all the time. It's good to stop, look at the sky and just be…be together…
Very interesting and beautiful writing! The old times always seem to be good!! That might not be wholly true though. Hugs.
This is a question for those with a lot more expertise than I have. I do know that part of growing up involves some separation from the family of origin. Every family has to deal with the "stuff" issues according to their own values. In all, I think it is the values more than the stuff that affects the maintenance of family ties.
Growing up in the late '40's and not having much–just our own ingenuity and family time–was the best thing for me and my brother, Michael.
I don't depend on television to entertain me. I'd rather read,cook with Jen–usually having great conversations. I get involved with photo exhibitions, and use these opportunities to include my family's opinion about the images
I'm working on.
We're a very close knit family.
Dinnertime is sometimes spent watching "Wheel" since we try to outwit one another, guessing the puzzle. Tom enjoys the show, too.
The pc is good in that I 'talk' to my friends; also working with my blog site to add humor to people's everyday lives gives me a lot of pleasure.
Technology can work as long as it doesn't become obsessive-compulsive.
My adult children think that if they do not have a TV in the house (which they don't) they will be spared raising instant gratification children. Yet, My 4 y/o grandson has an i-phone already. And already he is bored with them and wants more. Meals are obtained at the drive-through and eaten it the car.
Does Belize have an Extraordinary Rendition Program where I can scoop them off the street and jet them to a hut for four? Ah, what would we do with all their 'stuff" left behind?
When I raised my two daughters,(after my divorce) I worked two jobs. Weekends were a big deal where it was all about US as a family. We would do whatever the girls wanted to do, and because money was lacking, we played games, went window shopping and made lists, had their friends over night, had discussions, watched movies or TV programs together, went for nature walks and made a pack to discuss anything, any time. We shared a wonderful sense of humor and laughed hard every single day. Great post Sonia!
What a great post. I know what you mean. I'm busy being a single mother to three boys and I have had us eat in shifts, shuffled the boys off to sports and friends. I even laugh because sometimes I feel like I need to text my boys who are sitting in the same room to get them to answer me.
Oh and don't forget that I'm their chef, maid, laundry service, ect…
I think that would be really neat to try that for even a week.
I think this is the fourth conversation I've had lately about HAVING TOO MUCH.
I accumulated a lot of stuff during my time — most of which we needed. Now, it's just me, my dog, and my wife rattling around in a big house full of stuff — most of which we don't need it any more, and our kids don't need. But getting rid of it is a chore. I don't want to dump it — there must be a useful place for this to go. But when? And where?
I have at least begun the work of organizing the material, finding what I have, and deciding what I need/want to keep. Being a journalist, I have all kinds of background material on all kinds of topics. Which things do I keep; which do I toss. (I'm retired, but still writing.)
Maybe this isn't exactly on target with your post, but it is part of the larger picture.