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You are here: Home / Archives for “My Gutsy Story”

“My Gutsy Story” by Esther Goodman

April 9, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

 

Holocaust Revelations


Mom kept over sixty years of her private war locked up inside her.

Mom is a survivor.

On one of my winter visits to NY, Mom and I decided to go through her bedroom closet to organize it.

I worked the top shelf since I was taller. I found a shallow, dusty, box wedged in the back. I took the carton to her bed, where inside I found a brown, worn leather portfolio containing photographs.

“Mom, come over and sit down with me for a minute,” I said.

Mom came to the bed, and that minute turned into four hours. Inside the binder were the only photos she had after WW2. I decided then to write Mom’s story.

One particular photograph piqued my interest—a man, wearing a uniform with Royal Crests on his sleeves. On the back, he wrote,

“Meiner Lieben Rozi,

Als Erinnerung.

Ernest Finch

Eutin, Marz 1946”

“Mom, who is he?” I asked.

“He’s the soldier who saved me.” There was an awkward silence for what seemed like minutes but was only seconds.

“Ernest Finch,” she said, without turning the photo.

“Please tell me what you remember about him,” I said.

“The Germans put us on a train. I don’t know where we went. Above us, I heard the roar of planes. Suddenly, our train was bombed. My cousins and I ran toward the woods. I felt the warm, sticky feel of blood on my neck. I ran as far as I could, until I couldn’t go on. Weak and barely able to breathe, I fell to the ground. I don’t know for how long, but when I saw soldiers. I thought, ‘they’ll kill us for sure’. Next, I remember waking up in a hospital. In the corner, sitting in a chair, much like in the picture, I see him.” Mom pointed to the photo.

“He told me how his troops found us. The day was May 3, 1945. Red Cross came and took us to a hospital. He sent soldiers to stand guard daily for my safety and a few years later, he arranged for my new life in New York.”

‘I must write her story down,’ I promised myself. Living three thousand miles away, I knew this would be difficult. Over sixty years had passed. What will she want to talk about? In years past, the Spielberg Foundation approached Mom for her testimony. She declined them several times. I didn’t want to interrogate her either.

One thought gnawed at me. I must thank Ernest Finch. He deserved that much.

The story I’d like to tell you now is about my journey doing research to get mom’s memoir written.

Once back in California, my research began. I posted a note to British Army Of The Rhine, and included Finch’s photo. I posted notes and photos to the British War Museum links. I sent notes to Holocaust websites. Months passed, and I didn’t hear back from anyone. Discouraged, I kept sending information to every website related to the war effort.

Finally, I received e-mail from someone in London, England. She told me Ernest Finch was her father. My heart raced: finally all these months of research paid off. The pieces fit until she mailed photographs. Clearly, he was not the same soldier. We bonded a friendship. Ms. Finch is still searching for information on her dad. I do what I can to help.

After many months, I found a book about Muna Lubberstedt, the slave labor camp Mom was in after Auschwitz. I contacted the author. He sent me his book, written in German. Rudy Kahrs has been invaluable. He sent me copies of letters, documents, pictures and interpretation of the book. Months later, I got a response from BAOR’s website administrator. Phil wrote me, “The uniform Finch wears in the photo shows he was a Warrant Officer. He’s someone very important in his Company. I’ll do more research and get back to you.” I heard nothing more for months.

Later, an Englishman named Alan emailed me with information and book recommendations. Alan confirmed what Phil wrote. Finch was a Warrant Officer, Second Class in the Royal Regiment of Artillery. Alan’s months of research led to information that Finch was once ‘Ernst Fink’, a German who fled Hitler’s Germany to go to England. After hearing this, my cousin who was with mom through the war, confirmed Finch spoke German and was Jewish.

After Australia, ‘Ernst Fink’ went to England. England sent him to France and Germany. He stayed until 1948, serving his Army as an interpreter in the Deportation Camp my mother was placed in.

For a while, information slowed down. How was I going to find him?  I wanted to thank him for saving Mom. I tried “Googling” his name but came up short.  Alan helped, but came up short too.

Later, Alan found ship registries showing Finch left England for the USA in 1948. The registry listed Ernest’s wife. I decided to “Google”, and the first isting was an obituary. Mrs. Finch died in 2007. The obituary named two nieces living in San Diego. I used social media to send messages. Two days later, I got a response back. Ernest Finch was her Uncle. He lived in San Diego till 1972, where he died. I did what I set out to do and thank Finch’s family for saving Mom on May 3, 1945.

Esther Goodman and her mom

To think; Ernest Finch, the Officer who saved my mothers life lived an hour from me. Imagine, if Finch lived and I found him after 1989, the year I moved to California? Mom came every year to visit for six weeks. Imagine if Ernest Finch and Mom reunited? I wonder to this day if it would have been wonderful, awkward or uneventful given the fact that Mom buried her secrets for so long.

I thank everyone involved for helping me connect the dots to mothers past.

Hopefully one day I can ‘Pay it Forward’.

***

Esther Goodman Bio:

Holocaust Revelations is about the journey I took gathering and researching information world wide, and the relationships I formed trying to connect the dots to my mothers past. Because Mom kept her secret from us, her children, I knew very little about what Mom went through in WW2.
Writing and researching her story  brought me closer to her and helped Mom face her past. Personally, I’ve never  attempted to write let alone finish anything I’ve ever started.  Seeing the photos that first time, prompted me to take a course in Creative Writing. There I was, a 54 year old woman with 17-year-old’s goals to write the next graphic or fantasy novel. Fearing I would bore them with historical non-fiction, I was amazed at how quickly they ate up the information they were getting from Mom’s story.
I  recently finished the first draft of the book tentatively called: Because of Sergeant Finch.
You can read Esther Goodman’s blog and join her on her Facebook page. You can also find her on Linkedin under Es Goodman.
Sonia Marsh says:
Your detective skills paid off. I do wish your mom and Ernest Finch had met. I wonder how she would have reacted. What a heart warming story, and I’m so glad you got to talk to your mom about the photo you found.

PLEASE VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE MARCH “MY GUTSY STORY”

You have until this Wednesday, April 11th, to vote for your favorite March 2012 “My Gutsy Story.” The winner will be announced on April 12th. Winner gets to pick their prize from our 13 sponsors.

Good Luck to all of you. Your stories are amazing and inspiring. Please share these stories with friends and fellow writers and bloggers by clicking on the SHARE links below.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to submit?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

“My Gutsy Story” by Stacia Duvall

March 26, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

Twenty Push-Ups

 

There is a modern-day fairytale that begins like this:

Once upon a time in the midst of raising children, a lovely lady who had grown a bit complacent was surprised one day when her mate of many years said I don’t love you anymore.  When the last child went off to college, he was with someone who made him feel younger and she was alone.

It was the first time she had lived alone.  She ate cereal for dinner on occasion. She let the house get messy. She played her kind of music loudly.   She slept in the middle of her king-sized bed.  She chose when and where and why and how without consulting anyone.

In the quiet of that empty nest she remembered being 22.  She could not recall exactly why she thought he was the one.  She could recollect that when college ended and careers began, marriage seemed like the next logical step.  She remembered being caught up in a gale of love that had swept in on the wind of fear.  Everyone was being selected, one by one.  Would she be the person nobody picked?

And suddenly, years later, it had happened.  She was not picked and now she was alone.

This was not what she expected when she was young and raising her family and being supportive and living on the assumption that the future would be spent with the person to whom she had vowed her forever.

After time spent wallowing, she decided one day to call upon her remaining strength.  She decided that from now on, she needed to do a couple of push-ups and try something new each day.  Before long, she could do twenty push-ups and she had traveled by herself to a place a thousand miles away.

She found herself doing things she had never done before, like asking for help and making people worry and undoing another button on her blouse.  She felt amazingly strong.

After some time, she started liking the idea of spending the rest of her life with a person she had recently come to know.

Herself.

One day after she realized that how she felt about herself could be called love, a handsome man rode in and tried to “woo” her. He tried and tried but she doubted there was space in herself to love another now that she so loved herself. She was afraid she might go back to where she had been when she was left by her husband.

But the handsome man was patient. He treated her with kindness and consideration unlike anything she had known before, which caused her to consider him differently. She could see in him quality and value. And she noticed that she smiled more and that her eyes seemed brighter when they were together.

One day as they danced, she told him she loved him. The words popped from her mouth before she had time to think of their meaning. And she knew for a fact there was space in herself to love another.

And the amazingly strong woman could see that whatever way the wind blew and whatever moment of the far-off future she was in, she would not be afraid.  For she loved herself.

So she vowed that from that day forward she would be true and loving and faithful.

To herself.

And she felt happy, content, and at peace with that prospect.

Stacia Duvall's photography "Ocean Sailboat"

Stacia Duvall’s Bio

Stacia Duvall’s Gutsy story is not a story of extreme bravery or challenge but is instead the story of how an ordinary woman chose to become amazing and strong, albeit in her own way.  She blogs at http://winsomebella.wordpress.com where she shares photographs of extraordinary views and writes about moments that give her pause, the joy of place, the growth of change and the beauty of the commonplace.  When not writing or taking pictures, she is a granny who nannies, a yoga devotee, a far-flung traveler and always at the ready for a bike ride in the Rockies.

Stacia Duvall Photography "Ocean"

 

Sonia Marsh Says:

After reading Stacia Duvall’s, “My Gutsy Story,” I realize her talents go far beyond her photography and her ability to connect with her reader.

Stacia, your story about the breaking up of a marriage, and the process of finding out who you are, and falling in love with “you” before you can love someone else, is so inspiring. So many of us struggle with finding out who we are, and then falling in love with that person.

Stacia has a skill of sharing a story of simple joy through her words and her photography on her blog.

Please leave your questions and comments to Stacia below. I know she will  reply.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here. We now have 14 Sponsors, including the latest, Dave, The Podcast Guy, if you wish to learn how to make your own podcasts.

Please share the “My Gutsy Story” series with others on Twitter using the #MyGutsyStory. Thank you.

COME BACK TO VOTE  for your favorite March 2012, “My Gutsy Story” starts March 29th through April 11th. The winner will be announced on Thursday, April 12th.

“My Gutsy Story” by Carla King

March 19, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

Alone, Illegal, and Broken Down

A solo motorcycle journey through northern China.

It is my first day alone on the road and I am lost. The mountains of northern China beyond Beijing are vast and enormous. There are no road signs, only larger roads and smaller roads, paved roads and dirt roads. When I stop to ask directions the peasants simply stare because I am the first foreigner they have ever seen, and a woman. Putting myself in their place I can sympathize. I ride up on a big black Chinese sidecar motorcycle, the most expensive motorcycle in China. Then I remove my helmet. A blond braid tumbles down the shoulder of my black leather jacket and I mutter something incomprehensible and then look at them with slightly crazed green eyes.
“Wǒ mílù le,” I say. “I’m lost.”
But they just stare. Most villagers have never traveled farther than their network of about a dozen villages all of their lives. And there are no taxi drivers or buses or truckers to ask.
Nearly out of gasoline, I am sure that the town I had targeted for my first night on the road, will not appear anytime soon. The going is slow not only because of the dark but because of the potholes and badly banked curves and the asphalt that ends without warning.
Where might I be? I might have looped back to where I began. I could be far, far away. I remember how the land looked in daylight: the jumble of pyramid-shaped mountains covered in soft green foliage jutting through the landscape, the crumbling hillsides, the plunging cliffs.
The unfamiliar engine rumbles. I am still working out its idiosyncrasies. I don’t yet know this machine well enough to take comfort in its working noises, its hard clunk down from third gear, its slight pull to the left.
Shadow trees fly by and a small animal bursts into the road. A rush of adrenaline prepares me for hard braking, for swerving or impact. It races alongside me and, improbably, others join in. Finally I realize they are piglets. We travel together down the road for several long moments of dark indecision. I hold my breath while they grunt and squeal hysterically, invisibly.
Several times it seems that they will move off the road and and several times it seems that they will run under my tires. Finally, I gently let pressure off the throttle and engine noise changes. In response, one piglet lets out a sudden, long, high-pitched squeal. The others join in and leap off the road into darkness.
Miles later my fingers are still stiffly poised above the brake lever. The icy night air leaks up the sleeves of my jacket and between my collar and helmet. My joints ache from working the clutch and the gears of this heavy beast of a motorcycle, bumping along a barely paved road in the pitch black backwoods of China.
The dark shapes of trees hover above on either side. Long ago Kublai Khan had traveled through China and was dismayed at the unbroken monotony of the roadways. He ordered trees planted on every roadside to give solace to travelers. As my headlight shines on one after another after another white painted tree trunk I have the impression that it is they which move past me, and that I am sitting still like an actor on a movie set, the wind machine blowing in my face.
What does give me solace is the sudden appearance of two gas pumps under a brightly-lit shelter. Beyond it stands a building strung with white lights. I pull up to the pumps and after a moment a woman peeks out of the doorway of the attached shack. She hushes the two small children peeking out behind her to walk toward me. Her outfit is garishly illuminated under the fluorescent lights. She sports a shapeless lime green dress sprinkled with large white polka dots and opaque knee-highs that have left a sharp dent halfway up her short fat calves, set off by bright pink rubber pool sandals.
She decodes my rough Mandarin while she pumps gas into the tank. Yes, she nods, smiling. The lit building is indeed a hotel—her luguan. I can stay there, and it will cost twenty yuan.
I pass underneath a concrete archway and through a pair of open wooden gates into the compound where a low, cheaply built stucco building stands. It is L-shaped and there is a glassed-in hallway with motel-style doors in regular intervals, each painted bright red and illuminated with a bare bulb.
I unfasten my helmet strap with cold, stiff fingers. My back aches and my left ankle throbs from the constant shifting. I toss my helmet, gloves, and scarf into the sidecar and dismount, only vaguely aware of the rush of people emerging from the door in front of me. I step away from the bike, allowing several people to push it closer to the building. My forehead itches, my hair is stuck to the skin.
Despite my aches, I feel a profound gratitude for having found this place, for the reward of having pressed on without panicking. It is dark and cold, but I’d soon be safe and warm. Finally my eyes adjust to the dim light and looking up, I meet the gaze of a dozen young ladies dressed in pajamas. When I smile they burst into giggles, covering their mouths with their hands.
So many maids! Why would there be so many maids for such a small country motel? I look at them more closely. Their black eyes flash. So much makeup! They giggle some more, then, suddenly shy, lower their eyes heavy with liner and false lashes. Their lips glow with thick red lipstick and their lurid peach-colored polyester uniforms shine. They aren’t maids at all, I finally realize. I’ll be spending the night in a brothel.

***

Carla King Bio

Carla King has traveled the world on a fleet of various and often unreliable indigenous motorcycles. She chronicles her adventures in her Motorcycle Misadventures series of realtime online dispatches and books. Her popular blog is subtitled “a motorcycle travel writers writings, readings, journeys, gear, and recommendations,” but includes experiences on hiking, bicycling, scuba diving, boating, road trips, with musings from abroad and the San Francisco Bay Area, which she calls home. Carla has written for Women Riders Now, Adventure Motorcycle Dual Sport News, Rider, Riders of Kawasaki Magazine, Escape, Santa Cruz Travel Guide, many newspaper travel sections, and she is widely anthologized on the web. Her writing has appeared in anthologies including Rough Guide’s Women Travel, In Search of Adventure, Travelers’ Tales (including Food, France, and Best Travel Writing of 2011), Rough Guides Women Travel, and Wild Writing Women: Stories of World Travel. She is the author of American Borders: Breakdowns in Small Towns All Around the USA, and the upcoming China Road Motorcycle Diaries, as well as thousands of pages of realtime travel reports to the web from journeys in the USA, Europe, Africa, China, and India. No matter where she is, you can always find her at CarlaKing.com.

 ***

Sonia Marsh Says

Talk about being a “Gutsy” woman who travels the world and doesn’t let fear of the unknown stop her. I look forward to your upcoming book, China Road Motorcycle Diaries, and where your next amazing adventure is scheduled to take place. I admire you and what you do to encourage women to travel and be “Gutsy.”

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here. We now have 14 Sponsors, including the latest, Dave, The Podcast Guy, if you wish to learn how to make your own podcasts.

   

Photos (2)
Rhonda Hayes
Rhonda and Larry
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Each week on “Gutsy Living” we share an amazing story that will inspire or motivate you. Would you like to become a part of our community?

This week we are featuring “My Gutsy Story

“My Gutsy Story” by Jennifer Hemmeyer

March 12, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

Wake up calls come in many forms.  For some of us, it can be as simple as magical words uttered by a friend at the right moment.  For others, it’s a job offer that takes us across the globe.  Sometimes, clarity hits us “like a Mac truck”.  Mine was a Toyota pick-up truck going twenty-eight miles an hour.

I stepped out into a late July evening, yoga mat tucked under one arm, breathing in the full potential of my liberation.  The front door slammed behind me, a tangible barrier between my life as mother of three and my much-anticipated weekly yoga class.  I breathed in jasmine and breathed out taco dinner.  I breathed in the neighbor’s laughter-laced barbecue party and breathed out the Erma Bombeck reality of my domicile.

Had I really been that frazzled by my six-year-old daughter’s outburst over wanting to play longer with Jackson, the friend with whom she’d spent her entire afternoon?  Yes, yes I had.  Had I seriously seen, in my mind’s eye, my baby son in six years still not potty-trained and cried over his last diaper change?  Yes, yes I had.  Had I truly had a little outburst when my older son asked for just one more snack three minutes before the tacos were to be ready?  Yes indeed, that had been Yours Truly.  This sister needs a break, a different path on which to cycle her hamster wheel of life.

Instead, I proceeded down the same street to my Wednesday night yoga class.  I could walk this mile-long route in my sleep.  Right on Huntington, left on Tremont, left on Park Way… My angst with the homestead scene diminished as I passed all these familiar houses.  I really needed to do something different, I thought as I walked down the exact same streets to the exact same yoga class.  I need to create something novel, I thought, as I considered my evening after class – pack lunches, put out breakfast things, check email, do my stretches.  I need to do something radical!

Then, the universe did it for me, and there was nothingness.

***

“Habla espanol tambien?”

“Si.  Hace seis meses que estudio en Espana,” (Yes, I studied in Spain for six months,)  I answer.  What a strange setting.  The lights are bright.  Why am I staring up at the ceiling?

“I think she needs two more,” the speaker says to someone other than me.

“Agreed,” another responds.

Oh, there are more than just the Spanish-speaking guy and myself here.

“What are we doing here?”  I ask, noticing that my voice sounds oddly under water.

“We’re stitching you up, my dear,” the Spanish-speaking gent informs me.

“Stitches!  What happened?”

“You were hit by a truck, sweetie,” the other guy answers.  While his tone is gentle, the meaning of his words slap my being.

“The kids…where are they?”  In my mind, I jump off the table, but in reality, I just manage to blink.

“They’re fine.  Just relax, and we’ll get you all fixed up.”

Over the next few days in the ICU, my mysterious truck-meets-pedestrian history is revealed to me.  It turns out that I never made it to yoga.  Just yards shy of the rec center building in which my class was housed, the pick-up truck and me made our intimate acquaintance in the crosswalk.  I flew through the air like Tinker Bell, but didn’t possess any magic dust for the landing.

I had many, many sedentary weeks to contemplate the direction and purpose of my life while my pelvis knit itself back together.  It came to me, through all this thinking, that I had put my life on hold to raise these three lovely offspring of mine.  Before their physical existence, I’d lived in Spain and Alaska, practiced karate and violin, sang in a women’s choir, written jaded poetry, and watched the X Files religiously.  I’d served on community boards, worked full-time, studied massage therapy, and enjoyed a lot of ethnic food.  Once the kiddos appeared, I only traveled to the neighborhood cooperative preschool, rec center, and occasionally drove three hours east with the whole gang to visit my parents.  I practiced yoga, hummed in the shower, and picked up a violin to hand to my son so he could practice.  I served on not a single board, ate too much spaghetti and pizza, wrote only to-do lists, and watched Clifford.  I guess I was waiting for the kids to grow up.

As I sat erect at my dining room table one morning, dutifully performing 15 reps of knee curls to “wake up” my leg muscles, I realized that I would conceivably be waiting another seventeen years to pursue things that I love, as my youngest was not yet eighteen months old.  “That’s just not okay,” I blurted out.

“What, does it hurt, Hon?”  My concerned husband sat nearby, telecommuting from the desk in the corner.

“I’m not waiting anymore,” I declared, grabbing my walker and hopping down the hall on my better leg.  I settled on my bed to make a list of my goals.  As soon as possible, I would start running, eat ethnic food again (or at least generously sprinkle red pepper on my meals), travel farther than the neighborhood school, play my violin.  I would find a writing group, go have coffee by myself once in a while, play my dusty violin.  I felt giddy with the prospect of it all.

A year-and-a-half has passed since that revelation in my dining room.  The wheelchair and walker have long since found useful homes, and I’m living my list of goals.  My favorite is running.  My husband and I took the kids to Disneyland last year and powered through three days, from dawn to dusk, without a nap break.  Sometimes, one’s wake up call can just be a pick-up truck rather than a Mac truck.

Oh, and I even follow a different route to the rec center when the moon is full or I’m feeling rebellious.

 ***

Jennifer Hemmeyer

Jennifer’s Bio

I practice staying present, embracing the moment, and avoiding pick-ups in Portland, Oregon.  I am a mom, massage therapist, and writer who writes as often as the muse visits.  I am in the final stages of self-publishing my first children’s book, Young Town, and plan for it to be available within the month.  I will happily respond to email at at jhemmeyer@gmail.com, as I continue to contemplate blog creation.

Jennifer Hemmeyer's Children's Book

***

Jennifer, your story will open up the eyes of so many who may also be waiting for their kids to grow up before they follow their own goals.  I’m so happy you shared your story about your wake-up call after your horrific accident. Thankfully you recovered, and I was interested in what you said, “I had many, many sedentary weeks to contemplate the direction and purpose of my life while my pelvis knit itself back together. Your story is the perfect example of what I truly believe, ” Life is too short to play it safe.” Thanks and I know you’re moving along with your goals as you’re getting ready to publish your first children’s book, Young Town. Congratulations Jennifer.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story”?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here. We now have 14 Sponsors, including the latest, Dave, The Podcast Guy, if you wish to learn how to make your own podcasts.

***

Please vote for your favorite February “My Gutsy Story” You can read all four here. The winner will be announced on Thursday, March 15th.  KEEP VOTING.

Please share the “My Gutsy Story” series with others on Twitter using the #MyGutsyStory. Thank you.

Vote for your favorite February “My Gutsy Story”

March 1, 2012 by Sonia Marsh

Vote for your favorite February “My Gutsy Story”

 

From March 1st until March 14th midnight, PST, you can vote for your favorite February 2012, “My Gutsy Story.”

To VOTE, please go to the poll on the right  side of this post. You will find it on the sidebar listing the names of all 4 “My Gutsy Story,” authors.

Here are the 4 stories. Only ONE vote per person.

1). Larry Jacobson

Larry Jacobson

2). Anne Schroeder

Anne Shroeder

3). Brooke Bridenstine

Brooke Bridenstine

4). Barbara Hammond

Barbara Hammond

The winner will be announced on March 15th. Winner gets to pick their prize from our 9 sponsors.

Good Luck to all of you. Your stories are amazing and inspiring. Please share these stories with friends and fellow writers and bloggers by clicking on the SHARE links below.

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story” you’d like to share?

To submit your own, “My Gutsy Story” you can find all the information, and our sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Please share the “My Gutsy Story” series with others on Twitter using the #MyGutsyStory. Thank you.
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